I’m a man that divorced my wife because she was having an affair and flat out told me that she was going to keep seeing her boyfriend. Got divorced in new jersey; one of the worst states for a man in a divorce. Bad divorce; so you get the idea. Here’s where my issue lies: I have a coworker and he is a widower. He lost his wife to cancer. Nice guy; good guy and he had a good marriage. He’s over 50 and now dating a woman that makes him happy: Good for him! The issue is: he’s not against getting married again and I’m pressuring him to reconsider. Other female colleagues encourage him to remarry if he wants to which leads us to my arguments. Please comment on anything that I post that you disagree with in fact or theory. My argument is this: There is absolutely no upside to this for him and so much downside. His 401k retirement benefits are only a couple years away. He has kids. She has kids. If they get married on a Monday and he dies Tuesday, his beneficiary is wife and not his kids and he can not change that! If they get a divorce, she will minimally get half: more is a possibility! She will be entitled to alimony in the state of New Jersey and that amount will be determined by a judge on the basis of his previous income and the courts will not take into consideration that he may retire. Of course there’s the other things like losing your house; paying for both lawyers etc…. Now as for a prenup: How would you like this; you have one but the judge throws it out!? Yeah that happens! Does the average man know what it truly details to get a valid prenup? First; you need 2 lawyers. One to represent both parties.$$. 2) she can’t be pressured into signing it. What does that mean? Well, if she signs it the day before the wedding, it’ll be thrown out. That’s one example. Her lawyer will come up with other examples. 3) it must be a fair verdict in the judges eyes. What does that mean? Example: man is worth $1 million before marriage and wife is worth $10,000. So the prenup says that she leaves with what she came in with. That will be thrown out even if you had 2 lawyers and no pressure. Why do any of that? Just don’t get married! It is very much common knowledge that family courts are unfair to men. Why expose yourself to that? What I’m doing is trying to tell my coworkers that there is absolutely NO reason for a man after 40 to ever get married. If you’re young and want to start a family, well I understand the desire but not after 40! I have been disrespected as a husband and I have had the misfortune of seeing other husbands disrespected also but when a boyfriend is disrespected, they simply walk away. No judges, no lawyers. Just good bye. But a husband? All she has to do is get a lawyer and she’ll get half of your assets; half your bank account; half your retirement and alimony. Why would she respect you? So do you agree with my opinion? Let me know and if you do: Spread the message!! Let other older men know that they should never be pressured into getting married and not to do it!