Worst mistake of my life

ShaunyP_OKC · 2024-08-07T11:20:45+00:00

The problem with men during divorce is that they're too nice and honestly the wife just does not give a shit. You just gotta put em down fast and decisively. If you waffle they will punish you over and over again.

cactuscharlie · 2024-08-06T00:15:53+00:00

Nine years of bliss up until a Tuesday. Came home from work on a Wednesday and out of nowhere it was all over. No clues. No signs. No fights or even a talk.

I was blindsided because I had started clearly in the beginning that divorce was never an option for me. Silly me for thinking that was some manly loyal statement to make to my future wife.

roshi-roshi · 2024-08-05T20:58:44+00:00

Constant issues. They seem to come up about once every 2 weeks. I’ll just be sideswiped again and again.

Top-Pop-2624 · 2024-08-05T19:39:53+00:00

My 42 year marriage ended. She was the right person for most of those years. 3 grown daughters and 4 grandchildren. But she changed. Cheated on me. Basically left our family for his. I don't believe in marriage anymore.

Pro-IDGAF · 2024-08-05T19:22:42+00:00

mine ex was in her 50’s and going through menopause. i truly believe it is womens down fall. rational thought escapes them during that phase

hormone fluctuations in general, all their life too really. not that all women experience this but it is a thing.

Opening_Sprinkles_60 · 2024-08-05T18:58:18+00:00

It’s all emotional…and boundaries (emotional and financial) need to be firm. Often men will make substantial sacrifices to make their spouses (or ex spouses) happy by being overly accommodating. What’s actually happening is your kindness is being weaponized against you. But to some (not all) former partners, after your relationship is over, you are good as dead to them emotionally even if you are providing them something of value. Also, there is false hope in this dynamic since you may be hoping deep down inside that she will change her mind if you be nicer or make her happy. Many men become angry if this tactic fails, this dynamic also can be manipulative on both sides.

NewDay0110 · 2024-08-05T18:26:10+00:00

You can't reason with them because some simp is always their to spare them the consequences of their bad decisions. If someone is always giving you money and a place to live, then why would you ever think you're wrong? She's just switching providers because you're not putting out anymore.

Marriage is worthless.

this_is_sunshine · 2024-08-05T18:19:23+00:00

These arguments are always so selfish.

You messed up man. This woman needs to find anotjer guy that will accept her. The kids. And you. And yout freaking parents. Siblings. All that.

You can fuck this up in a million ways. The new guy can fuck this up. The kids can fuck this up. Your parents can fuck this up. Her parenrs can. For christs sake, the neighbor‘s grandma can fuck this up.

Chances are you were a terrible spouse and dad and hey here you are thinking you can in any way solve this broken thing you created.

There is absolutely nothing you can do herr except be nice. Give it up easily. Support her and the kids future. And hope you can be in their lives and be their chmpion in a non intrusive way .

While also trying to live your own life.

There is no pretty answer or outcome here . It is ugly. You both are ended up here.

karavan7 · 2024-08-05T15:29:46+00:00

You got here the same way most of us did: making unrealistic assumptions. Logic is irrelevant and we did not apply it to the choice to get married.

Expert-Raccoon6097 · 2024-08-05T13:28:55+00:00

The upside of marriage for men is kids. Are you going to push one out of your vagina?

Now if you didn't get kids out of it, or already had kids and got remarried then lesson learned mate. If kids are not in the picture there is absolutely no upside to committing to one woman for the rest of your life.

If you did get kids out of it then divorce is the best thing to happen to you. You now have complete freedom, you have 50% time off to do what ever and whomever you want, and you no longer have to support your wife financially. It is the ultimate life hack for men as long as you keep the co-parenting relationship amicable, flexible and respectful, and for the love of Mike do not get conned into remarrying and being on the hook financially for another woman and some other guys kids like your ex's new squeeze is going to be.

fishingforthought · 2024-08-05T12:11:01+00:00

After exiting a divorce life lesson taught me to never get married again.

koboboba · 2024-08-05T10:30:41+00:00

They know they're wrong but emotion is the only way they "win". Because emotion makes them always right and never wrong. A free ticket to do and say anything and get away with it.

hopes-suicide · 2024-08-05T09:19:56+00:00

In teaching my boys to never marry. Have the celebration, get a ring, say vows. Live and love each other. But never sign a contract that puts the state in the position of dictating your personal life and love life. Marriage is a coin toss whether you will be happy or lose everything and prevent you from having a comfortable elderly life. Divorce is the number 1 thing that prevents Americans from experiencing wealth in their life. The number 1. Marriage is the number 1 cause of divorce. Lol!

SouthParkTimmy · 2024-08-05T07:51:27+00:00

The problem is that men are taught how to treat a woman. But women are never taught how to treat a man….they have no idea how to meet a man‘s needs. And it‘s so easy.

It’s always about them…their issues or looking for an upgrade. So many good men thrown away.

SpacemanLost · 2024-08-05T06:55:27+00:00

I have a son. I think one of the best things we can do is educate our young men about the risks and the probabilities of the downsides of getting married.

Almost NOTHING in our culture - from media such as movies, TV shows, books, even advertising to things like our institutions and what is/was traditionally told to children as they grow up... mentions the pitfalls, traps, downsides or risks that a man takes on in marriage. And especially that a shift in married behavior and held values is underway generation over generation..

This is already happening - some young men are learning about various truths and becoming more cautious as a result. But we can do our part, to protect our sons - not to make them hate women, but to make sure their eyes are open to everything from how their female counterparts are behaving because they have 100 men sliding into their DMs on that little device in their purse, to how the laws and courts haven't caught up with the times and how their futures could be destroyed.

They need to be aware of the possible risks and consequences out there.

probebeta · 2024-08-05T05:54:27+00:00

"maybe if it's the right person..." - No, marriage still does not serve men even if it's the right person. Things change, people get sick, sex can dry up, bodies age, attraction can be lost, you can lose your job, dudes at work might wanna bang her, you might want to bang other women, priorities in life can change, etc. meeting the right person can be a beautiful thing, but I wouldn't bet on it being risk-free. The right person is still a woman 😅

ABBucsfan · 2024-08-05T04:29:52+00:00

The thing is those.wjo seem like they married the 'right one ' they may write a lot of mushy stuff online but the ones you know in real life it's nothing to really wish you had. It's underwhelming and they just seem to get along ok. The ones who are still crazy for each other don't generally exist and generally have just become comfortable enough. Thr downside is so massive and understated and all for chasing more of an ideal than anything, something that can't possibly live up to it. Thr risk/reward is so lopsided

MarriageIsMiserable · 2024-08-05T04:24:20+00:00

This post really resonates.

Chris_Chilled · 2024-08-05T03:36:48+00:00

I understand the sentiment but the one thing for me that keeps me going is my kids. I wouldn’t trade them for the world.

Flashy-Excitement247 · 2024-08-05T03:27:23+00:00

Trying to have a "reasonable" disagreement with my stbxw is a lot like sticking my hand in the blender to stop the blade thingy from turning. Eventually you learn that you just need to unplug the damn thing (that is a reference to divorce, and not the other thing)

Several-Eagle4141 · 2024-08-05T03:15:29+00:00

I got laid until I got married. Then it wasn’t “fresh” any more until she cheated.

Title	Worst mistake of my life
Author	Unhappy-Nail-9281
Upvotes	80
Comments	58
Date	August 5, 2024 3:08 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ekdipy/worst_mistake_of_my_life/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/worst-mistake-of-my-life.1526357 https://theredarchive.com/post/1526357

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