Getting hot girls seems so difficult.

DaygameCode · 2025-01-10T12:59:26+00:00

Seems difficult because you put them on a pedestal, you don’t treat them as people but as objects of desire. You overvalue them while undervaluing yourself, and you reject yourself before they even have a chance to reject you because you also see them as tools of self-affirmation to measure your own worth based on their acceptance or rejection of you.

therealwoujo · 2025-01-10T14:35:41+00:00

Most of the difficulty is in your head. YOU treat them differently. It sounds like you are not even approaching them and you are instead concocting fantasies in your head about why they are too good for you before you even talk to them. And don't ever say "she was such a mommy" to a girl.

vergil_never_cry · 2025-01-10T12:47:18+00:00

“Seems so difficult”

Did you actually do anything so far???

HomelessMilkman · 2025-01-10T13:16:11+00:00

It is difficult, from low self-esteem. Balancing all of these plates of analysing, judging, comparing and then expecting to be charismatic and fun on top of that is impossible. You've wrung the orange, there's no juice left.

It is easy if there's nothing running through your mind, you aren't spinning 10 different plates and channeling all of your energy into being charismatic, enthusiastic and fun.

'How do I do it?', I'm not doing it with a weight vest on.

Mister_Gamble · 2025-01-10T13:48:22+00:00

Can't help but agree with people here saying you seem to be putting these women on a pedestal before you've even engaged with them. It's something even I'm guilty of sometimes. Once you take the pedestal mindset away you will stand a much greater chance at scoring.

You'll find a lot guys also have the same mindset in person. Sure these girls might have "options" on social media, but you'll find out and about, not many guys would be approaching them out of the blue. Lots of guys, like yourself, see these girls and come to the same conclusion you have. Which funnily enough means these girls are having no physical options on that night in particular. Make yourself one. You'll never be picked if you don't make yourself an option.

B377Y · 2025-01-10T14:46:05+00:00

You can be in awe but stop it at ‘she’s hot’. Once you do the “goddess” or “mommy” shit you’ve lost already. Plus it’s just cringey. Treat them like other women and you’ll be alright. If she flexes her options and leaves then on to the next, no sweat! (It will suck but less the more it happens)

everydayguy_ · 2025-01-10T21:44:36+00:00

Hot girls are only hard to interact with bc you’re putting them on a pedestal as all the other comments have said. It’s understandable if you’re young/new/inexperienced. I certainly was like that when I was a teenager lol

Go do something difficult. MMA or boxing or something. As you’ll come to face real hardship in your life you’ll realise there are much more intimidating things than a woman’s beauty.

BombadilsButtplug · 2025-01-10T14:41:10+00:00

Guy actually says "mommy" lmao

Chester1212 · 2025-01-10T13:31:03+00:00

“Could be taken, have high standards, or lots of options.” Yes but they could also be into you, like something about your fit, or maybe you happen to fall into their type. Try giving yourself a chance maybe? Cuz if you don’t nobody else will

NonSatanicGoat · 2025-01-10T20:42:51+00:00

Actually 9/10 girl is easier than 5/10. Most of the guys think they are taken or they think they are not good enough for them so they afraid to approach to them. So they approach 5/10's. Hot girls are not getting approached as much as avarage looking girls. So they are easier to talk, more friendly.

thiswontlastlongv · 2025-01-10T12:34:21+00:00

Depends what you want

If you want them to love you…. Forget about it buddy

If you wanna sleep with them you just have to become more important than them and LOOK like you’ll spend money on them.

ThrowRAinlove98 · 2025-01-10T16:44:41+00:00

Making assumptions is the problem here. You assume they’re hard to get/taken/flooded with options while other commenters assume hot girls will be materialistic/boring/crazy/mean.

Most of the time, people shoot themselves in the foot because they either don’t try or they go about it wrong. Don’t openly devalue them in hopes of knocking them down a peg and don’t be obsessive about her appearance or self-deprecating.

Be confident and treat her like a human being. I’ve known plenty of gorgeous women who end up dating/sleeping with men all across the appearance and wealth spectrum. Some of them might end up being awful, but there’s lots of amazing ones that people just assume will be cruel or shallow. Tons have been approached by men they would have been interested in, but it was ruined when he acted too good/not good enough for her.

In the end, that’s part of seduction. It won’t always be a success, but you can shake it off and try again.

Cavsfan724 · 2025-01-10T17:15:33+00:00

They do have the most options.

determinator94 · 2025-01-10T21:42:00+00:00

In regards to edit #2, my friend, what you gotta do then is cultivate YOUR value. BE attractive instead of TRYING TO ATTRACT beautiful women.

Hit the gym. Cultivate your passions into hobbies (into side hustles INTO main hustles). Go out more often to events where you’ll run into women of that caliber (sometimes the only way to destroy fear is exposing yourself to it). Build a foundation of standards for yourself (not just women, but YOU - your life and anything that adds to it).

And yes - you’re right. We all wanna date beautiful (model-tier) women. Any guy who says otherwise is a fucking liar. But again it’s about BEING ATTRACTIVE, which I’d argue is infinitely more powerful. It means the women you wanna date is attracted to YOU and anything encompassing your life and she is obsessed and can’t get enough of you.

Chicagoj1563 · 2025-01-10T12:51:42+00:00

Either be in her social circle, or develop your social skills through lots of practice. You can also get lucky, right place right time, right type.

But your beliefs are defeatist. You can connect with these women. But it’s not meant to be easy.

Fluffy_Suspect_4276 · 2025-01-11T08:39:22+00:00

I have a feeling that you like geeking out and reading so I'll leave a very practical book for you: Models by Mark Manson.

Don't expect anything, don't judge, don't think reading it alone, and then audaciously not applying it, will solve any of your problems.

It is an elaboration on and a strategic guide to most of the wisdom handed to you in this thread, plus he explains the self image concepts that seems to perplex you. The steps he outlines start with simplest of things that are as easy to do as they are not to do. That's how you begin, by starting somewhere.

After reading this book, you'll find it difficult not to try and become a better man. And that's the ultimate prize: you becoming the man you want to be. Attraction is a side effect.

someone719 · 2025-01-11T08:53:13+00:00

You are the king of your life. You just need to realize it. Find the clues your life gives you. And think about how much control you have. Kill the thought that questions that. Only by focusing on the clues you will realize how true that statement is. Soon will notice girls looking at you. They don't look down on you, they check you out. So smile back. Don't even doubt it. Just enjoy the life

Exotic_Shallot_5860 · 2025-01-11T08:59:02+00:00

From my perspective, picking up 10s is just as hard as picking up 7s or 8s. If ur an attractive person n have a little experience it will be easy, but if ur needy and unattractive it will be a nightmare. Just remember ITS NOT ABOUT THE LOOKS OR EVEN WHAT U SAY, ITS ABOUT THE INTENTIONS! U dont have to be funny to connect with beautiful women, that's like saying "I ain't got no friends cuz i'm not witty and charming" who gives a fuck man? As long as ur honest, show ur intrest really early on (yes that means ur gonna have to touch her) and not completely socially disconected ur gonna be fine (even if she's a 10).

OMightyCow · 2025-01-10T14:30:26+00:00

Experience has taught me most, but not all, "hot" women are not worth your time. They either cheat, are selfish, crazy, manipulative, narcissistic, dull or are utterly cold or vile as people on the inside. They receive too much male attention for what they are actually worth, and it inflates their ego.

Find someone that's attractive to you but at the very least has a kind heart and shows interest in what you have to say.

Look past the looks and I guarantee it won't be a problem anymore.

AngryGoose21 · 2025-01-10T12:55:57+00:00

I have the same problem buddy. I’m 5’8 (close to your height), very fit, told I’m handsome all the time, have 2 paid off cars, great job, witty and good interests. I still don’t feel adequate enough for these type of women

norwegiandoggo · 2025-01-10T13:04:47+00:00

It is not difficult when you become attractive yourself. That's also a mental thing: why you feel like you're not at their level? What would you need to get to that level?

Why are you not hitting on them? You clearly have some limiting beliefs that need sorting out

Juiceb0ckz · 2025-01-10T13:10:03+00:00

just increase your value to them. hit the gym, develop a clothing style thats nice to look at. look good, smell good, have money, be funny.. (actually funny- the only way to know if you are actually funny is when other people tell you. not when you bestow the title upon yourself). and while you do all this, be authentic. dont try to hard. you will get something.

Intelligent-Roll-763 · 2025-01-10T16:53:47+00:00

It's not that hard .

Matter of fact the hotter women are not usually talked to or approached the right way . Most guys are weird about it . If you're able to talk to her normally and maintain a cool conversation , flirt with her without being weird or too nervous too have a good shot at getting these women.

Powerful_Pickle8694 · 2025-01-10T22:04:10+00:00

Meh just give them a light hearted compliment about something like their shirt or whatever. Doesn’t really matter, just be chill about it. Ask them where they are from or something. Not that hard.

AdamPx · 2025-01-11T05:59:49+00:00

You think more than what you did. I have been below the average in terms of looks. Whenever I get hard rejection or disappointment I just get mad about them for a minute or a whole week then the next thing I do, is keep socializing and improving, guess what after a while of going through this maze of discouraging moments, now I have strong social skill, improved my look and still till today I fail but I always try to find the flaws then I fix them

Not_Without_My_Cat · 2025-01-11T08:50:17+00:00

“We all wanna be with beautiful girls” is an oversimplification. We all want to be with people who excite us. But it’s also important to us that those people are excited by us. Become an exciting person, then you will attract more people who excite you.

BadManThriller · 2025-01-11T16:32:12+00:00

dude you're the cause of your own problems. You think like a loser.

Read through your post and replies and you'll quickly see what I'm talking about.

You're victimizing yourself like YOU don't have control of your own life.

reading through your post it's clear you don't love yourself which affects your belief in yourself and leaks through other areas in your life. I mean which female, especially one with options would ever trust you to be guy to lead her.

My advice: stop being a bitch, You're a man. Start gaining your own respect and "Sleeping with Milfs" and "Girls with the thickest thighs" won't seem like mission impossible to you. Good Luck.

epimpstyle · 2025-01-10T15:05:26+00:00

Getting hot girls is tricky because a good makeup will make a 6HB look like an 8HB., watch this LINK and see a comparison of the same person with makeup and without makeup. If by chance she is a 7HB, she will automatically become a 9HB or even 10HB

Any average looking girl, if she can afford good makeup and if she takes care of her weight, will be "hot".

TripleDigitNomad · 2025-01-10T15:13:09+00:00

Because it is. That top tier of women; the Instagram models, Onlyfans girls, etc are spoiled with choice by guys who will drop cash on these girls just to be with them and if you're not doing the same, they won't even give you a second look.

These types of girls chase clout. It doesn't matter how attractive you are or how much game you have, you need to meet their minimum requirement of treating them first and foremost to even have a chance.

Then of course, the advice of not putting them on a pedestal and such comes into play.

Specific-Fudge-7222 · 2025-01-10T14:26:36+00:00

confidence is key, just try to fake it til you make it and shoot your shot when you can.

atiqsb · 2025-01-10T14:47:06+00:00

May be it’s a good thing to stay away from them too! Lot of em are gold diggers, bad attitude and entitled as hell! I don’t care about looks anymore.

LucaCoco_ · 2025-01-10T14:49:45+00:00

It's the same principles as getting "normal" girls.

MichaelScofield68 · 2025-01-10T14:58:11+00:00

Actually getting with pretty girls is infinitely easier than to get with girls with low self esteem provided you know what you are doing and stop for 5 minutes with all these limiting beliefs.

If a girl is pretty she knows how the game works and she doesn't need to play mind chess to compensate for her insecurities as much as a girl who is less attractive. It's all in your head mate. Good luck.

SuperPoop · 2025-01-10T15:22:06+00:00

I've never gotten a 10 in my life. but my wife is a solid 9 and I am extremely happy.

Thin_Ad_9043 · 2025-01-10T16:13:49+00:00

Be realistic don't let these people think you need a bulletproof mindset to get a hot 9 or 10. 8s are tricky look wise they can be decieving lol.

The real answer is once you think like this you're already losing with a woman you wanna approach period.

As far reaching for that high tier woman, you gotta bring your best physically and mentally. Its up to the woman whether she wants you or not.

Rinse repeat.

FeloFela · 2025-01-10T16:18:52+00:00

Easier than you think. Most guys have this same mentality that they must be taken and what ends up happening is people are too intimidated to approach.

moonlitcandy · 2025-01-10T16:27:43+00:00

How about changing your target women to countries where they find you attractive? Like in Asian countries, they might think of an average white man as a 9-10 and vice versa

nordik1 · 2025-01-10T16:30:00+00:00

Not sure of your age, but way you’re talking sounds very childish (“she was such a mommy” “it’s so difficult”)

You need to get out of this mindset and start forging your mind into a perspective that understands those hot girls you see are just human beings too and when the makeup and push-up bra comes off and she’s in her sweat pants at home she’s nothing special.

Plenty of them will also get on your nerves if you spend enough time with them, while others will be a good fit and make your life more enjoyable. However you have to find out and that’s what humanizes things. The chick you think is a goddess could be a total cunt for all you know, so stop pedestaling her

There’s MILLIONS of them out there and you can have them too, but it begins with stopping this shit where you view yourself as less than them and having this childish view and way of speaking.

guypamplemousse · 2025-01-10T16:53:07+00:00

Hot girls are usually a scam.

chineke14 · 2025-01-10T17:38:37+00:00

I'm working on it myself but I've also found most hot girls I've tried to talk to, offer nothing. Just looks. And they have horrible nasty personalities and entitlements. I still talk to them for practice but they're really often not worth it.

Rogueish_Mechanic · 2025-01-10T18:25:22+00:00

Man what is happening here, are you just venting? You've said nothing but negative things about yourself. You really oughta work on that first because this is such a terrible frame of approach. If you show them they can do better than you, then they will, so you better get good at faking some self esteem or find therapy or something.

jjboy91 · 2025-01-10T18:56:05+00:00

Stop putting them on a pedestal and it will get better for you

Western_Secretary284 · 2025-01-10T20:18:13+00:00

In my experience the hottest girls tend to be the friendliest and most direct, especially if you're somewhat attractive and are a great conversationalist. It's the 7s who will play the most games to try to get you to invest the most.

punktfan1 · 2025-01-10T21:20:15+00:00

But ask the “gurus” here and it’s EaSy ;)

shathecomedian · 2025-01-10T21:28:10+00:00

idk it depends on what you consider hot, what i consider attractive might be someone else's 6. just try to talk to all girls the same, no chick is special

EetinAintCheetin · 2025-01-10T21:30:06+00:00

As long as you make women and especially hot women to have higher status than you in your own head, yeah, it will not only be difficult, it will be impossible.

PeterLamb87 · 2025-01-11T09:08:42+00:00

The first rule in dating is women are not objects, women are people, im not going for some blue haired bitter feminist weirdo shit here, but this is important to understand.

Trust me when I tell you not everyone wants to be with beautiful women, everyone think they want until they get their wish. Hot women, 9's and 10's, plus many of the 8's, are a headache; they are very hard to get and very hard to retain; they have big egos, its to a large degree pay to play (you can seduce them allright, but the upkeep price is high), and they have a shitload of worms and simps lurking in the fringes, waiting for your first mistake to try and take your place, and last but not least, a lot of them are dumb as shit and their personality ends between their legs

On the contrary average girls are generally great, if you see them as a person and not a hole to stick your meat, you can enjoy the time with them, which will make for better relations.

ScholarlyUser · 2025-01-11T10:59:01+00:00

You spend too much time on instagram

God_of_Finances · 2025-01-11T17:38:42+00:00

Ok Guys, How tf do I take someone off pedestal?

EvanMcCormick · 2025-01-11T19:10:56+00:00

I don't really understand your point. None of these things makes it hard to talk to women.

I assume what actually happens is you feel a spike of anxiety and discomfort when you're about to approach and start a conversation with a girl. Just talk to the hot girl. The worst thing that could happen is she rejects you and thinks you're creepy. As long as all you did was start a conversation with her in a public area, then that's really not too bad of an outcome. Are you dead? Are you dying? Or did you just take a shot with a hot girl?

You never hit if you don't swing.

Onzalimey · 2025-01-13T00:05:16+00:00

I don’t like that people say it isn’t harder cause it is. But still game is game

DD_CloutGod · 2025-01-14T11:14:38+00:00

You gotta Lay off the porn buddy 😭. Help me comprehend how you became so infatuated with this girl on the train described and everything you liked about her and you couldn’t even ask her name ? ……”hey I think your glasses are really nice , what brand are they “? (Keep eye contact) ………”their (brand)”……”oh my sister has the same brand“ ( or some bs abt the brand of glasses) ……then just ask…..”my bad I’m (you’re name here) what was your name again” ? And easily continue it with “well (her name) your glasses caught my attention , but I just noticed how well they compliment your (eyes/outfit/smile) ….and then end the conversation smoothly ….i gave you the simplest dialogue it’s 95% complete…I have faith that you can come up with a closer to get that last 5% …… ………if she was the prettiest girl you’ve ever seen , you would’ve talked to her without fear of getting rejected. You were to busy fantasizing about her……….how are you worried about rejection when then next girl is also the prettiest youve ever seen …..makes no sense

zexwyomom · 2025-01-19T11:07:26+00:00

If you do not have anything “good” about yourself, why should any girl think that way?

DreamShort3109 · 2025-02-03T13:17:56+00:00

I’ve come to the realization that if you thought that she is attractive, then many other men have too. Many others who are smarter, more handsome, or just great with girls.

Chances of getting a girl are very low.

WeaselRobot · 2025-01-10T12:50:09+00:00

They "likely could"?

Speak with them and find out. They're humans beings like you. Maybe it could help getting female friends first, you'll see how they're just people.

PrinceBeyel · 2025-01-10T14:28:28+00:00

Those are the ones with the highest maintenance requirements imo. I’m looking for an average looking woman who doesn’t know how pretty she is! You sound young bud. You’ll learn!

es_programming · 2025-01-10T16:10:38+00:00

Forget about hot. It's the case with regular girls for me. Not putting girls on pedestal or anything. Either you're attractive or not, I guess. And a lot of guys will never be attractive, no matter what they do

rikoos · 2025-01-10T13:05:04+00:00

A tall older woman likely in her 30s or 40s???? Thats not old at all!!! 55 or more is old.

Title	Getting hot girls seems so difficult.
Author	ATATwalker92737
Upvotes	153
Comments	131
Date	January 10, 2025 12:26 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1hy3alw/getting_hot_girls_seems_so_difficult/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/getting-hot-girls-seems-so-difficult.1540835 https://theredarchive.com/post/1540835

Comments