Traditional masculinity is heavily scrutinised nowadays; men are urged by society to break out of the mould of stoical and chauvinistic stereotypes. Modern men are constantly expected to display sensitivity, emotional vulnerability and other traits generally regarded as "feminine".

This is seen to be positive and healthy; feminists argue that this will allow a greater degree of equality, and a better society. It's hard to engage in discussions about masculinity without coming across claims debunking the existance of alpha males, or those encouraging a move away from traditional forms of masculine behaviour. In fact, a lot of attention is drawn nowadays towards the idea of the female gaze; that men have to conform to a standard that's pleasing for the female onlooker: sensitive, emotionally available and willing to challenge traditional concepts of masculinity.

Not that there's anything wrong with men who don't fit into traditional gender standards or have "feminine" attributes - that isn't the case. There is, however, an issue with how normative femininity is excluded from critique and the onus to change how we perceive gender is placed on men and those who exhibit stereotypical masculine traits; this isn't even an expectation exclusive to men: cue how gender nonconforming women are often accused of putting other women down by disregarding the expectations assigned to them at birth.

If we are to point out the performativity of traditional masculine behaviours, including but not limited to competitiveness, sexual agency, emotional stoicism and others; if we are to argue that this behaviour isn't innate, that men are just conditioned by social structures and upbringing to adopt such a facade; it is only fair to extend such deconstruction to traditional femininity and the women who subscribe to it.

And yet, any attempt is met with the accusation of misogyny: to expect women to move away from traditional feminine standards is to imply that masculinity is superior, and that women are thus inferior to men. Indeed, even when femininity is critiqued with regards to its performative aspect, when it is assessed with regards to its role in attracting men, most women will claim none of it is about men. Not the make up, not the shaved legs or armpits, not the dresses, not the jewellery nor the painted nails. Because it's misogynistic to assume a woman's actions and behaviours are influenced by or have something to do with the opposite gender.

It's really only masculinity that can be critiqued as performative, only men are allowed or expected to deviate away from traditional gender roles and expectations. Women and the feminine behaviours they engage in - the long hair, the makeup, the high pitched giggly voice - are off bounds; it is misogyny to deem such pursuits as frivolous or unworthy, unlike the seemingly unproblematic suggestion that masculinity is toxic and harmful. To challenge masculinity and to dismiss femininity are not analogous; the rejection of masculinity is liberating while the rejection of femininity is regressive; the former encourages men to embrace a more feminine demeanour for the sake of self-expression and social justice, while the latter disparages women and forces them to give up a vital part of their identity.

And yet it seems clear that women aren't born naturally with a predilection to put on lipstick and dresses and shave their legs and walk in high heels. They are, just as much as men are, born into a world with strict expectations and rigid stereotypes that dictate how they are meant to behave and how they are meant to look. It would seem intuitive that an honest and thorough deconstruction of gender norms would therefore take the gender expectations placed on both sexes into consideration. Why is it only traditional masculinity that has to be cast as restrictive?