I think this connects to a lot of the complaints I have seen when it comes to dating.

Coddling is the reason why so many guys blindly believed what their mom said because their mom gave them endless amount of validation instead of realizing that’s usually what a mom is supposed to do.

The problem is constantly protecting a boy’s ego, excusing his behavior, overpraising him, shielding him from consequences, and teaching him that discomfort means someone else did something wrong. No, I dont think a boy who is always told by family he is special, handsome, smart, sweet, and “any girl would be lucky to have him” is a problem. The problem is that his family rarely ever told him “hey! Youre being a little shit. STOP IT!”.  

That is where the damage happens. Because then he grows up thinking family validation is objective truth. He thinks Mommy saying he is special means strangers should see him as special. He thinks Grandma saying “any girl would be lucky” means women his age are supposed to want him. He thinks being upset means someone wronged him.

Then reality hits. Women do not treat him like his mother did. And instead of just accepting that and behaving accordingly, it’s treated like a societal injustice.

“But girls-“

Girls are pressured to take care more about their social standing and to fit in. Boys don’t have that same level of pressure and if a boy is coddled, he definitely doesn’t have that pressure. So when a spoiled little boy ends up with social consequences because he was being a spoiled little brat, he never learns to stop being a little brat. He just blames other people for not putting up with his shit.

“But autism-“

See, that’s the problem with coddling. Toxic boy moms have tricked their sons to believing autism means they can never develop social skills by always excusing their behavior because of autism. 

The autistic girls showed similar social motivation and friendship quality to non-autistic girls, while autistic boys reported less motivation for social contact compared with non-autistic boys and compared with girls both with and without autism. 

https://discovery.ucl.ac.uk/id/eprint/1475314/

Take this one with a grain of salt due to the sample size, but it has also showed that girls developed social skills better than the boys and autistic girls were similar to non-autistic boys in that department.

https://idp.springer.com/authorize?response_type=cookie&client_id=springerlink&redirect_uri=https%3A%2F%2Flink.springer.com%2Farticle%2F10.1186%2F2040-2392-5-19%3Futm

So when a coddled little boy sees his female peers doing better, he never notices that she actually puts an effort to be likable. He just pouts and says “FEMALE PRIVILEGE! FEMALE PRIVILEGE!” Similarly, they do not actually observe the world. They observe what protects their ego. They interpret everything in the way that keeps them blameless.

Also, they think that reality not bending to their whim is an injustice. They definitely don’t like when you give them solutions.

“Men have to suffer in silence!” But they don’t like it when you tell them they have to regulate their emotions and express them like an adult instead of a tantrum throwing child.

“women don’t have to abide by gender norms, but men do” and then get mad when feminists talk about toxic masculinity, and how men need to break away from it. 

“ why do men have to pay for dates? It’s just women using men for the resources to get a free meal!” Will make up excuses why they won’t just stop paying for dates.

“Its not fair women get more sexual attention than I do!” Then gets upset when you suggest Grindr will give him that type of sexual attention he seems so desperate for. 

So because of coddling, you end up with a guy who can’t take responsibility, can’t look at the world objectively, and doesn’t want to solve his problem like an normal adult. Worst of all, they never question why someone would want to be with a man like that. What does he have that would make people tolerate him being an insufferable manbaby?