Q4Men Why would I want to get married young if I can’t be a stay at home mom? WITH ALIMONY protection if I get divorced.

renfsu · 2018-12-24T02:09:31+00:00

As a guy that doesn't want kids, I wouldn't want a woman that has a kid and stays home, I'd rather her have a job. If we did have a kid then a sahm is okay but having a kid is probably last on my bucket list

TriadFamilyTimes · 2018-12-24T04:16:53+00:00

Don't get married young either way.

beachredwhine · 2018-12-24T05:29:21+00:00

Go for a guy who wants a sahm mom, and understand that sahm doesn't exactly have it easy. You'll go nuts during the first baby. Wait until you've got two toddlers, and a screaming baby, and laundry, extra extra laundry, and dishes, and dinner to make, and the baby just puked, and the kids are tearing their room apart, and you're still in pajamas and your husband is just about to get home from his hard day at work and you're literally going to scream.

Of course the winner guy who wants a sahm wants you young so you'll have to go for an older guy. But he will have experience and hopefully he'll know what he is getting you into

And yes of course you can have your alimony if you decide to bail. Who care? $300 a month for a few years? Maybe $500 a month? Lel alimony. Cool have your alimony. All that does is totally fck over poor guys.

But hey who care about them? Certainly not any of us

sadomasochrist · 2018-12-24T04:02:08+00:00

If you're child free, then who cares? Strong independent yourself to your death bed.

PuleaSpataru69 · 2018-12-24T03:29:25+00:00

The problem is, why would I give my youth, freedom, beauty, and womb to a man who cannot or does not want to financially provide for me?

Because later you if, you find someone early end up having a easy life, while if you wait for later in life the options are increasingly worse and more scarse. We are not saying to marry at 18. But to start looking, for your own sake. After 30 it is almost sure you will have little to no good choice and be yet another cat lady or a woman who "settle".

At my age, I am doing fine. But most women my age (22-27) are still figuring out their lives. Many are NOT making enough to comfortably support even half of a family or do things like pay a mortgage. Many are still in school, many are still at the beginnings of their career.

And you should probably be. But to looks seriously for a life partner is in your best interest. What do you prefer? have a bad husband for life but financial comfort early on, or the opposite?

How many men under age 30 are ABLE and WILLING to support a family?

More than those over 30. At least with a 30+ woman.

How many want to marry ME and not some qt pure Asian mail order 19 year old?

If you are under 25? some dozens. But they are also for the asian mail order. It is a game of who gets the prize first.

Why not just wait until you’re 30 to marry and are making $80-90k?

You can wait. But if you want to just look for a good partner for like at this time, you have lost most of your chances and is prone to end up having to settle, be it for a lower valued man or a cat. (or a dog, you could be a dog person).

Why not wait until you’re 32 and have a baby?

One, is that this would give time for the man to rethink if he wants to have you now that he is way richer. Second, you really want to take care of a child with the body that has backaches just from having to feed your child or have to give someone else the world of raising your child?

If you’re going to work full time and NOT be a stay at home mom, what is the benefit of doing it when poor?

Not many, but like I said, It is in your best interest to find a rich guy when you are way younger.

Meshakhad · 2018-12-24T05:08:30+00:00

How about we get married now for financial and health benefits, work for a while until we’re financially comfortable, and then have kids?

Azkik · 2018-12-24T05:26:23+00:00

"Figuring out your life" is one of the dumbest cultural memes of modernity. It goes hand in hand with the college trap.

How many men under age 30 are ABLE and WILLING to support a family? How many want to marry ME and not some qt pure Asian mail order 19 year old?

You have to make yourself worth it to those few just as they have increased their value. Though the Asian mail order bride thing is largely a low smv guy phenomenon.

But the important thing you're overlooking here is that marriage is supposed to be a joinder of families. You're not supposed to be some isolated couple weathering the financial storm on your own, you're joining a family.

TheMarbleSlab · 2018-12-24T03:34:39+00:00

People overestimate how much money you need to raise a child. All these guilt tripped must haves pushed by the media for the benefit of our corporate masters are unnecessary.

Had I found a partner willing to stay at home, willing to live modestly on the low six figures I was making in my mid 20s alimony would be no issue. Fuck man, it's just money. You're raising my kid. If you're not happy, and you sacrificed your career prospects to help our family, of course you should be protected. That's the whole reason I built my stupid fucking career in the first place-- no lie!

But I found no woman willing to do that. They weren't bad women that I dated by any other measure. It's just that the kind of sacrifice required to be a SAHM is not one that the kind of women available to me in my circle of college educated career women were willing to make.

Hystericalprince · 2018-12-24T01:55:01+00:00

Then wait, but you're not a woman in my life so I don't care what you do, buy 100 cats or wait 'till your 30.

Moldy_Gecko · 2018-12-24T07:29:15+00:00

No matter where you live, 90k is not low income. Maybe below what you want, but not low. This is that entitlement complex fucking with your head. But look, it's not young men that are trying to wife you up young, it's men in their 30s.

And Really, what's with this BS about alimony? Personally, in some situations, alimony makes sense but should not be a career goal. Maybe 1 year for every year you were married and unemployed.

So, what you trying to get out of this post? What's the response you're expecting?

MagicGainbow · 2018-12-24T03:18:54+00:00

Lock down a good option before all the decent prospects have been snapped up?

Unconfidence · 2018-12-24T03:38:59+00:00

I don't want kids so wouldn't like a SAHM. But I think your overall point is valid, for more reasons than you list here. Not only are you more likely to find someone financially stable, but you're also more likely to find someone more emotionally stable, if you're looking in your 30's. I legitimately know zero people who married and had kids before the age of 22 and who are still married. People just don't normally have themselves figured out at that age.

If being a SAHM is what you want to do, you should find someone who wants to fulfill that dream for you. I just worry that the tone you're taking is indicative of some misanthropic ideas. I mean, you ask "why would I give my youth, freedom, beauty, and womb to a man who cannot or does not want to financially provide for me?" And the easiest answer I can give to that is simply because you love him. Maybe a man who cannot provide financial support for you is not your current ideal. But ideals change as you get older. You're still young.

Hawanja · 2018-12-24T16:18:13+00:00

You're not doing yourself any favors by buying into this redpill bullshit.

reluctantly_red · 2018-12-24T02:07:48+00:00

I agree. Being a stay at home mom without a career is a crappy deal for all involved. If a woman doesn't have a decent education and a good career she just isn't LTR/marriage material.

openoids · 2018-12-24T09:05:27+00:00

money...money...money...support...money...career. Don't reproduce.

alby333 · 2018-12-24T12:29:05+00:00

At 42 my advice to young men is for the love of God get on the property ladder as early as you can even if you buy a shit hole in a crap area and rent it out (if I'd bought my first house at 21 instead of 30 I would have paid £50k instead of £112k and my mortgage would most likely be done or I'd have a much bigger place now instead I partied my 20s away)

And the second find a woman with decent earning power that second income makes a huge difference to quality of life make it a deal breaker don't support a sahm kids go play school at 3 and school at 5 there's no need for either parent to stay at home.

This sounds unfeeling but so many couples break under financial stress make life easy for yourselves

You talk about giving up youth/womb/freedom/beauty if this is how you feel perhaps motherhood is not for you. Most women have children because it's their dream to have a family don't bring a child into the world unless motherhood is something you desperately want

Barely-moral · 2018-12-24T08:04:51+00:00

You shouldn't marry young unless you can guarantee yourself a good future, that includes alimony protection and being a SAHM if that is what you want.

Any woman that doesn't have a major deformity can get that deal if she takes the time and effort that usually goes into college/a career and spends it in looking for and vetting and attracting a partner.

That being said, it is likely that said partner is older, because men have enough money to pay for a SAHM when they are older, also, they want to settle when they are older.

dottywine · 2018-12-24T02:39:54+00:00

It's funny that all women had to do in the past was just look pretty (if possible), make food and look after children. Now they need to work 50 hours a week just to afford to pay for their rat infested apartment in Manhattan.

They could move to a low cost of living area and live a simpler life. But no they wanna be around the hot, successful guys who all live in that expensive area. And Chad ain't gonna marry no waitress, he wants a big titty blonde lawyer; he needs some briefs examined.

Every woman needs to be making 100k a year in 2018. Otherwise she a leech. No sleep for you, millions of NEETs on welfare depend on you!

Also don't worry about losing your looks. Men are thirsty as fuck, even if your looks do fade you'll be slobbered over by 100s of guys until you die. If need be just get a boob job, that usually does the trick. Plus makeup to hide any wrinkles and you're good.

TheMarbleSlab · 2018-12-24T02:55:14+00:00

Dont get married that's fine. Hold out for bodybuilder bad boys and dont fuck anyone else

Mr_Smoogs · 2018-12-24T02:48:22+00:00

The benefit of doing it when you are both young and poor is that you have a life after kids when you are still relatively young. It’s a cost benefit. Choose the right poor man when you’re both young together.

The vast majority of people can not afford to have one parent not work.

Jackpot807 · 2018-12-24T03:36:13+00:00

Imo most men would be fine with supporting the family. The problem is the economies. Rent is extortionate, student debt is an organized crime ring. It would be decades before millennials that aren’t in a trade make actual decent money.

Oh and not to mention that whole mess that came from the bored housewives in the 60’s

Zippo-Cat · 2018-12-24T10:11:03+00:00

How many men under age 30 are ABLE and WILLING to support a family?

I would say... heheheh... about 20%.

Aufbruch · 2018-12-24T09:26:33+00:00

I think the reasons why most couples pair up is escaping you, here.

VojvodaSrpski · 2018-12-24T11:15:12+00:00

Why couldn't you be a stay at home mom? if you really wanted that, you'd find a man that's higher up the ladder than you and can provide. The problem is that most modern women don't want to be at home, which is the cause for most of the other problems including the problem why young middle-class men can't ”afford” a family.

daymi · 2018-12-24T12:05:39+00:00

Men get all beady and resentful when women aren’t in a hurry to settle down before age 30.

I don't hear him being beady or resentful. But I am not as attuned to these things as women are...

If your mother loves you, she will tell you that if you want to have children at all, to marry and have children etc young. Men (apart from your father, I guess) really shouldn't care much.

The problem is, why would I give my youth, freedom, beauty, and womb to a man

Because otherwise, someone else will. And he will be gone. Forever.

who cannot or does not want to financially provide for me?

That makes it different.

If I have to work some shitty job that pays like $40k a year in a high cost of living city, why the hell would I want the stress of a man and baby in my life? So we can go on food stamps together? Where I live, a family of 4 making $90k is low income.

You could move. Or not, your choice.

Working full time and having a kid is already a full and stressful load. Now add poverty into the mix and you’re under a living nightmare.

I would suggest becoming a stay-at-home mom if you have children (and get a husband that does financially support you).

How many men under age 30 are ABLE and WILLING to support a family?

Why under 30? Those are still building their career and aren't established, and you probably don't want those. Add to that that men mature slower than women, so why would you marry in your age bracket? Makes no sense.

How many want to marry ME and not some qt pure Asian mail order 19 year old?

Depends on what you bring to the table compared to the cute pure Asian mail order.

Why not wait until you’re 32 and have a baby?

Birth defects in the children. Source: I have a birth defect because of that. Please don't do it.

If you’re going to work full time and NOT be a stay at home mom, what is the benefit of doing it when poor?

None. Don't do it in this configuration, then.

TL;DR:

All in all, marry a good man now because you won't be able to do it later on, and if you do, the quality will be worse. You are not in a bubble and other young women do marry good men.

The sexual marketplace exists. There is no escaping it, for women or men. If you are a woman, men desire you more when you are young. So either date and find the best man to commit to - or watch other women snatch them away forever. It's your free choice. Just don't say we didn't tell you how it would be at 40 yo, because I just did.

That said, you can always choose not to have children at all, more power to you. But if you choose to have children after 45 yo you are evil (Edit: because of said birth defects being very bad then), just to be very clear on this.

[deleted] · 2018-12-24T12:34:46+00:00

The problem is, why would I give my youth, freedom, beauty, and womb to a man who cannot or does not want to financially provide for me?

You shouldn't, simply put.

But most women my age (22-27) are still figuring out their lives

Part of that is down to how society has been progressively delaying adulthood, see Dr. Robert Epstein's 'The Myth of the Teen Brain'.

Many are NOT making enough to comfortably support even half of a family or do things like pay a mortgage

People really need to stop getting mortgages, they're just asking to get fucked over.

How many men under age 30 are ABLE and WILLING to support a family?

Thanks to our parasitic economy, and a host of other factors, not very many.

How many want to marry ME and not some qt pure Asian mail order 19 year old?

It really depends on who 'you' are. Are you trustworthy? Are you still likely to pair-bond (i.e: how many people have you had a relationship with, especially casually)? Are you religious (alot of the people under 30 looking to get married are religious)? State marriage is also a complete mess right now so that doesn't help either.

If you’re going to work full time and NOT be a stay at home mom, what is the benefit of doing it when poor?

You don't know when you'll die, and if you think you have important ideas that you'd like to pass on to the next generation you need to be reproducing as soon as possible. Also the chance of defects increases as you grow older.

[deleted] · 2018-12-24T21:11:03+00:00

This is the best post I've ever seen on this subreddit. OP I love you so much and this is a BIG BRAIN post.

aanarchist · 2018-12-24T06:01:57+00:00

I would love to be on food stamps together with a girl I met when we were both teens that sounds very romantic. We wouldn't have had food stamps for long though I wouldn't want us to have to struggle like that, but knowing someone wanted to share her life with me through thick and thin, richer or poorer etc, would go a hell of a long way in earning my loyalty after I can afford for her to just stay at home while I take care of her. No way in hell am I going to be a meal ticket for some 35 year old woman with kids and who's been through a bunch of loser dick. She can beg them for food stamps if she wants but I'm not interested.

Most men would be willing and able to support a family, they just needed the incentive of knowing they have a woman and child who will need him at his best. Only sociopaths fuck and run and unfortunately women love sociopaths.

If she's 30 and a virgin who put all her time and effort into getting some sort of education and her life together instead of being a dumb thot wasting her life drinking and sucking random cocks, then yes I would consider that marriage material for sure. The problem most men would have with post wall women is that they spent their best years on other, lesser men and now expected to be grateful for being given scraps while paying full price for it with both their wallet and their commitment.

By all means figure out your life, I did the same. I didn't do it sucking a bunch of dick, drinking a bunch of alcohol, or snorting a bunch of cocaine, so neither should you.

All the stay at home moms I know supported their man when he was a nobody. The most prominent example is a guy who makes major bank but he was almost homeless and could barely afford gas when he had a kid on the way. She stuck it through because she was there for the relationship not for the money. He says she was his rock who always believed in him and now he runs his own business. I'd argue most men can do that when in their darkest moments someone loves them and trusts them and believes in them. No man actually wants his woman to have to struggle and suffer and waste all her day serving another man(also known as a day job), he wants her at home taking care of him and their kids unless she really loves what she does whatever career she got.

The benefit of being poor is you learn the value of a dollar and how to spend it wisely and save it. Lotta dumb kids these days had mom and dad make things easy for them especially young women with added simp money on top of it. Having to work your way up from nothing together with someone, with your partner, I mean I haven't experienced that but I've seen what a dramatic effect it has and what a bond you build from it.

The answer to how many can and will support you over a mail order bride, is probably the ones who can't and won't, because you can't give them a good deal for their dollar. Likely no education, not attractive, had dicks inside you of significantly inferior genetic quality which is also proof of low genetic quality yourself(low intelligence, low self control, don't think about consequences in relation to actions etc).

I think the whole red pill men against women movement won't come to an end until women don't operate based on hypergamy anymore. When everyone is broke and can't even afford food and the government won't help either they'll be forced to work together or starve to death like in the old days, and that includes men and women. You have the luxury of bitching about retarded shit all day so apparently life isn't hard enough for you to appreciate a good man in your life who isn't a savage. I'm not saying that from some nice guy standpoint but just that once upon a time it was considered a jackpot when a man didn't beat you, and despite all the whining about abusive men and rape culture, decency in a man is simply not appreciated or wanted anymore therefor by laws of economic demand, will disappear. Same goes for a man willing to take care of a woman is if all he can find is loose trashy single mothers, the generations after him will see that earning a living doesn't mean jack shit for a relationship. This is a problem women have created for themselves, and everything you say here is a symptom of the problem, not the actual problem. Unless you genuinely hate men and relationships for some unknown reason, you are also a victim of the system that has essentially robbed most women of the opportunity to find love and relationships with men who see in her more than a cum rag. You're clearly unhappy working your shitty job that doesn't even pay well so that strong independent woman crap didn't work out so well either. The amount of women who frivolously destroy good men has also ensured that you have to prove yourself to any man with any amount of fortune that you were not personally there to support him in achieving. We're all victims of a shitty system at the end of the day, but it's not on the men to step up this time, at least that's my take on it.

LinkedFerret69 · 2018-12-24T05:16:45+00:00

Do what ever you want; it's your life

meaninglessINTERUPT · 2018-12-24T09:17:37+00:00

I a guy. Why would I want to marry? This seems some strange straw argument... who are these people objecting against you not marrying in your 20s?

abaxeron · 2018-12-24T12:08:23+00:00

Q4Men Why would I want to get married young if I can’t be a stay at home mom?

Why would we know? Don't. It's not about you. It's about societies that grant women rights going extinct, and societies that don't grant women rights expanding.

WITH ALIMONY protection if I get divorced.

So, the thought of marrying a man WITHOUT divorce-raping him as soon as you get bored doesn't cross your mind?

Men get all beady and resentful when women aren’t in a hurry to settle down before age 30.

We aren't; again, it's not about you, and it's not about us. It's about women shitting onto us for failing to fulfill their own promises. Women promised that granting them equal access to education will strengthen marriages. Women promised that granting them the right to vote will prevent WW2. Women promised that granting them equal opportunities in the workplace will prevent emergence of Welfare States.

The problem is, why would I give my youth, freedom, beauty, and womb to a man who cannot or does not want to financially provide for me?

Don't. Marry someone who can.

How many men under age 30 are ABLE and WILLING to support a family?

Very few, because the state takes away up to half of our income to support single mothers and childless catladies.

How many want to marry ME and not some qt pure Asian mail order 19 year old?

On the current conditions? - Again, very few.

Why not just wait until you’re 30 to marry and are making $80-90k? Why not wait until you’re 32 and have a baby? If you’re going to work full time and NOT be a stay at home mom, what is the benefit of doing it when poor?

There is none. But, there is a positive feedback loop: the more there are single moms, cat ladies, and career women with one child, the more tax money is required to prolong their miserable lives, which the government needs, because those people vote the right way. The more taxes the government collects, the less "marriageable" men there are. Thus, we're having a positive feedback loop. Someone has to break it first. We men can't do it.

Willow-girl · 2018-12-24T12:17:09+00:00

Going to preface this one by saying:

Dear OP, you cannot have your cake and eat it too.

The problem is, why would I give my youth, freedom, beauty, and womb to a man who cannot or does not want to financially provide for me?

You don't have to. But if you're not attracting the kind of men who can commit to you when you're young and support you financially, then you need to rethink your SMV, your RMV and your standards. Guys can wish for cute, curvy and somewhat bisexual all they like but what do they have that makes those sort of women want them?

Furthermore, if you engage in casual sex or serial monogamy while young, you're also wasting your time.

At my age, I am doing fine. But most women my age (22-27) are still figuring out their lives. Many are NOT making enough to comfortably support even half of a family or do things like pay a mortgage. Many are still in school, many are still at the beginnings of their career.

Ah, yes. The trappings of an unkind economy that gives zero fucks about you. Figuring out your life is fine, but if it takes you to your 30s with nothing to show for it, you're wasting your time regardless. This is assuming your goal is a man who can support you. If you haven't found him by your mid to late 20s, best rethink your value and adjust your standards. More often than not, there are men willing to work to provide, but the extra labour thanks to feminism convincing women that being a wage slave = happiness means you're going to have to do what men did: work and put your dreams lower down on the priority list.

The thing is, though, you ladies have a limited time to 'have it all' done by. Why are you trying to do things like men? Why not work on being great wife material first while you're young? Why not study and work later when the kids are older?

If I have to work some shitty job that pays like $40k a year in a high cost of living city,

No, you don't have to. You're not an embarrassed millionaire. Move to the ghetto if you cannot afford to live there or find a job in another city. Alternatively, study something that could earn you more money if you fear Mr RichTall Handsometon hasn't made himself available yet.

why the hell would I want the stress of a man and baby in my life? So we can go on food stamps together? Where I live, a family of 4 making $90k is low income.

Or you can take the advice that many women on PPD love to dish out to men critical of matrimony: don't get married. No one's forcing you to.

Working full time and having a kid is already a full and stressful load. Now add poverty into the mix and you’re under a living nightmare.

Thank feminism for creating part of that nightmare. Welcome to the demands of the economy. Your low paying, soul sucking job starts in this cubicle here... Guess what happens when you want two things that both take a lot of time and energy?

How many men under age 30 are ABLE and WILLING to support a family? How many want to marry ME and not some qt pure Asian mail order 19 year old?

If you're not atrracting the kind of men who are willing to do that for you, then re-evaluate your SMV and RMV, then adjust your standards and expectations. If those men are not in your social circle, you're going to have to return to your cubicle.

Why not just wait until you’re 30 to marry and are making $80-90k?

The men you want will be taken and you'll have to select from the leftovers. The single men who are good enough may not be willing to settle with you then when there's a 19 year old, cute Asian woman who he wants instead. Your SMV has fallen despite your increased earnings so attracting that man is going to be hard without good genes and a healthy lifestyle. The average US citizen's lifestyle is anything but healthy...

Why not wait until you’re 32 and have a baby?

Unless you're doing it on your own, there is another person who is part of your dream. I know thinking of him as more than a tool to your fantasy is indeed difficult, but if you want a kid then, you're still going to need to find a single man who fits your requirements and wants to have a kid, when you're nearing 30. This is placing yourself in such a shitty position.

And let me tackle the underlying assumption here: the quality of men who are showing interest in you now does not improve in your 30s.It gets worse. You're probably used to knowing some men desire you but it doesn't last. Don't delude yourself into thinking that the men, the good ones, will still be available in your 30s. You're probably going to have to settle, something women don't handle well at all.

Some women opt out altogether because no man can match up. I know at least two single women in their 30s. One broke up with a loser and the other could never find a man who was good enough. Both are overweight but still believe Mr Right is out there. They don't have kids. They have degrees, careers and some social status. One fantasised about marrying a millionaire while she was still with her (now ex) boyfriend. Don't be like these women. They held onto the fantasy for so long that nothing was good enough for them. There are probably some divorced men who may come sniffing around at some point, but that's not a great deal, especially if he has kids.

If you’re going to work full time and NOT be a stay at home mom, what is the benefit of doing it when poor?

Let me deal with another underlying assumption here. Life is unfair. Deal with it like a grownup. We don't all get what we want.

There is no perfect life, perfect partner, perfect work life situation where you earn a decent salary and still have time to play house. It just doesn't happen unless you come from money. Don't believe the lies you were sold that the middle to upper and upper class lifestyle is possible, especially on your own, without someone helping you. You want money? Either marry someone with it or work for it. If there are no wealthy men showing interest, then get to work. But don't complain when there are no men good enough for you when you've put off finding a man for too long.

Good men don't just happen. Many of the men in their 30s who can support you weren't making money when they started. But a lot of them got married to women who supported them. You want to be the General's wife? Marry him when he's a Lieutenant. If you rejected him when he was still lower on the economic and social rung, you'll have to forgive him if he's not as keen to shower you with attention when you do find him interesting.

Willow-girl · 2018-12-24T13:36:44+00:00

It is difficult to live well on a low income (ask me how I know this!) but it can be done. However, it's a skill set like any other. If you're not attracting men capable of supporting you, it seems you have a choice: stay single and/or childless, or learn how to make family life work on a lower income.

Angelcstay · 2018-12-24T15:42:53+00:00

I make very good money and I tell u honestly it's fine to want to marry someone who makes bank but trust me people like me who wants to start a family with kids will not even consider those over 30.

[deleted] · 2018-12-24T16:20:05+00:00

Who the fuck is getting married before 30? Nobody does where I live!

Jugglingqueen · 2018-12-25T04:59:49+00:00

I'm a SAHM (just turned 30) with two kids. My advice to you is go to grad school in STEM, law or business and find a guy a few years older than you. We live in a very HCOL area and my husband has a very good job.

KeyAssumption · 2018-12-25T09:22:26+00:00

Psst, don't tell them the reality, let men live in their fantasy of a mommy maid who'll love them for who they are even if it means living in poverty and misery.

NotMeUsee · 2018-12-24T09:38:50+00:00

This post is infuriating. What are you bringing to the table? Unreal entitlement. Why get married young? Because you want to. Not everyone is waiting around trying to find ways to support you. Get a job.

TheSuperStink · 2018-12-24T02:28:07+00:00

You shouldn't be a SAHM. If you have an education, you should be using it.

In addition, no one, man or woman, should be getting married earlier than their late 20s. Preferably 30.

TheBookOfSeil · 2018-12-24T12:23:37+00:00

Nobody is telling you to get married and have children young (the only reason would be because your looks will decline as you get older and it will be more difficult to do so). Stay unmarried and childless until you die.

If you plan on getting married and having children, nobody is forcing you to be a SAHM. Unless one of you is making +$200,000/year (where you live), BOTH OF YOU will have to work while you make arrangements to have the child cared for until you get home.

The 50’s, 60’s and 70’s are long gone, and they won’t be coming back. Unless you marry a rich old man, nobody is going to provide for you while you sit around at home.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2018-12-24T09:29:33+00:00

You make perfectly sound points. You are very much spot on. People on Reddit and elsewhere get off on the idea of this postwar marriage image, which is just unattainable for most people. You explained it correctly.

However, the men are not asking women to marry young. The men are simply pointing out the dissonance of over 30s women which are desperate to settle down and can't find someone, well, because they are not as attractive anymore. Of course, it's very easy to say "you should have married sooner" but then your argument comes in perfectly.

Simply, this is a zero sum game where women fight against their biology, value and looks at the same time men get more and more access to women and sex as they transition from 20's to 30's.

Sprach_McGrachan · 2018-12-24T01:58:05+00:00

This is the video you used in your post: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wV4XSfd7bs&feature=youtu.be

I've rarely seen anyone go out of their way to discredit themselves so quickly.

Lewd_Crude · 2018-12-24T03:25:41+00:00

If you want to have more than one kid then it might be problematic to start trying in your 30s due to fertility issues and timing. Also your dating pool at 30 is going to be much smaller than in your 20s as many ppl have already paired off. Another issue related to the dating pool at 30 is that the average quality of the men in your dating pool will be lower as a higher percentage of the higher quality men will have already been picked and secured by women who saw potential in that guy when he was younger.

Londonnj · 2018-12-24T12:25:01+00:00

First off you're an idiot if you choose to live in a place where 90k a year is low income. Stop trying to have champagne dreams on a beer budget. Moving costs less than $3000 typically for a longer distance move for one person.

Secondly why would a man want to take you when he likely is in a better position than he was a 27(income steadily increases with age) and can afford to now date those youthful and beautiful young women and properly take care of them. So why would he in his right mind choose you over them? You expect to capitalize on your appearance until it runs out then expect a wealthy man to swoop in and save you? What a laugh.

Wish you the best but I'll tell you right now your fighting a losing battle remember there's always going to be new youthful, beautiful 22 year old women.

EminemLovesGrapes · 2018-12-24T10:22:57+00:00

Men only the stereotypical women, who want to

"Have their cake and eat it too".

Who spent their 20's on their career and once they feel like settling down they start complaining where all the good men have gone.

Women's beauty is on a timer, as long as you don't complain about not being able to pull the men you once did you're good in my book.

TheMarbleSlab · 2018-12-24T10:45:25+00:00

Female entitlement - the thread

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sumguywith_internet · 2018-12-24T03:37:45+00:00

If I'm gonna marry it's probably gonna be worth someone who wants to live life for a minute and worry about kids and stuff in the future. Also money shouldn't be a thing when marrying, but your credit score could totally be a reason for a prenuptial. I was honestly surprised a court room wedding cost anything when I looked it up but then again all them tax benefits of filing as married.

PuleaSpataru69 · 2018-12-24T07:01:09+00:00

I dont understand your question. Why says women in their 20s should marry men in their 20s? Men in their 20s are boys not men, they're broke and they're not ready to be with someone forever. They will have a mid life crisis and dump you when they're 40. And they will use their money on a younger wife.

You need to get a man in his mid 30s when you're in your 20s. You both need to be in your prime.

Why would a 30 year old man with money choose a 30 year old woman? Makes no sense. He can easily get a 22 year old or at least a 25 year old.

xKalisto · 2018-12-24T07:31:29+00:00

Why not wait until you’re 32 and have a baby?

Down syndrome and other disabilities and fertility issues.

Your fucking back. Srsly hit the gym before they come. You'll feel so tired the older you are the worse it gets.

Also don't buy new sht for baby, there are perfectly great things on Facebook marketplace that are 1/4 the price. I'm not even poor and shop used cause there are more cuter options.

TheMarbleSlab · 2018-12-24T13:07:40+00:00

Look, would any man buy used car and then pay for it all his life? Hell no. He would use it for a year or two and then sell it to somebody else.

Would a man but new car? Surely if it's a nice car.. but then he woukd have to pay for it still...all his life. That's still bad deal but better than used car deal.

And cars are poor investment strategy anyway. Women are like those cars. Their value depreciate in time. Younger women still are better than used older women. But in this time and age it is a bad deal for a man to marry and pay for that woman full price and then not be sure if the government takes away his car or not on a whim.

And that's the harsh truth and reality of men who want to support women. We still go for it. Well most of us do because we are soy boys and bought into myth of lonely old man.

So what do you have to offer beside your depreciating looks and vagina? What you have to offer is the important question here. You are selling yourself then sell wisely.

RainmakerRem · 2018-12-24T14:46:03+00:00

Why is it that everything has to be established and on a good foundation, before a relationship starts. I mean um damn wouldn't it be good practice "for better or worse" to work on building each other up while setting up the foundation.

Why give up your youth to a man whom cannot or does not want to provide? Cut the "does not wants" out, the "cannots" do want to, but might just need time love respect and paitence... oh gee are those qualities of a relationship? /sarcasm.

The thing is your youth is your most valuable asset as a human, giving someone your time, which is worth more than gold, really says a lot about commitment, you know, that thing that helps keep relationships together, and helps prevent a future generation of fucked up kids.

But you know, your focus is on money, and someone being able to support you. Not on how you and that person can support healthy minded offspring. Even some of the poorest children/families make some of the best people.

I'd suggest you switch your values, it's very "me me me" focused. Here's some truth that you know, but may not reflect on, you're going to die. Your kids will die. The only thing that dosnt die is the mentality/energy you set forth into the world, through yourself and them. If you dont live every second of every day remembering you will die, and appreciating that thing you call life, you will be in this fucked up state of mind forever.

wtffellification · 2018-12-24T15:58:33+00:00

The issue is, these are some relevant questions. You're just asking them too late

[deleted] · 2018-12-24T17:43:10+00:00

CMV, there is nothing wrong with a 30 y/o man marrying a 20 y/o female for this very reasoning

Thisismybot8 · 2018-12-24T22:51:52+00:00

Why get married when you're young:

You will attract a higher quality man. This higher quality man will have more resources to provide for you. What's confusing about this?

muabirdie · 2018-12-24T23:15:33+00:00

Date old, rich men. Problem solved. You're welcome.

TheMarbleSlab · 2018-12-26T16:32:15+00:00

You should want to get married young because that's the best chance you have of getting the most you want - a man who is hot, who also can support you and loves you.

You can wait to age 30 but you won't get attractive men. You can wait to age 32 to try having a baby, but you'll struggle to get pregnant and you'll probably suffer multiple miscarriages and run a high risk of having a Down Syndrome kid.

Cuthulion · 2018-12-26T23:55:46+00:00

Nobody wants to force you into marrying. Men simply want a girl who does, we don't feel the need to convince those that don't. Finances aren't our problem, if you want to know why a couple makes as much as a single man 80 years ago, look to your politicians.

TheMarbleSlab · 2019-01-01T20:58:44+00:00

Most guys want a woman who financially contributes.

qx4758 · 2018-12-24T03:54:10+00:00

Makes claims about men. Uses op-ed video by another woman as supporting evidence. lol

Like most Q4[X]s in PPD, this question is based on a false premise.

What you’re most likely talking about is the TRP dogma of women riding the Cock Carousel until they hit the wall at age 30-35. As a recovering redpiller, I’m pretty familiar with it. Like most TRP ideas, it’s mostly bullshit with a kernel of truth.

Mainly it’s an elaboration of the idea that men and women hit the peak of their social value at different times. All other things being equal, women peak at around 25 or so, whereas men peak between 35 and 45. Is this “fair” or “just?” I would personally be inclined to say no, but that’s a different issue.

The specific elaboration of this idea that TRP has evolved is, like the majority of the received dogma of TRP, mostly a way of crying about women in a way that lets them feel logical and superior. It has nothing to do with wanting women to settle down and get married and pump out babies. It’s just whining.

bonusfruit · 2018-12-24T05:24:02+00:00

Because your womb has an expiration date. Thats all there is to it. You can actually see childless single working women 10 and 20 years ahead of you. Look at their lives. Listen to their regret. Go for it if you insist. Or you could sucker a beta bux into subsidizing your trad dream. Those are the options

hammerhaunts · 2018-12-24T01:53:59+00:00

You're asking a lot of questions at once...

themanmohr · 2018-12-24T06:48:46+00:00

Because once you hit 30s there’s a decent chance you won’t be able to have kids your biological clock is ticking so it’s now or never if you wait chances are it will be extremely difficult to get pregnant if you can get pregnant at all not to mention the fact that you won’t be able to have a lot of kids and there’s an increased risk of that kid having a birth defect plus once you’re older the good men who make a lot of money won’t settle down with you but if you try to settle down when your young you’ll be able to get higher quality men who are probably older and make enough money to support a family men’s value in society increases with age but women’s value decreases so settle down with an older man who is financially stable now

blackedoutfast · 2018-12-24T07:54:29+00:00

no one is saying that women should try to be a SAHM for some loser 20 year old dude working a shit job that only pays $40k a year. that's basically poverty level.

it's implied that you become a SAHM to a guy who can actually afford it.

you are correct that the dudes who are young (22-27) AND financially successful enough to comfortably afford a SAHM and kids AND actually want to settle down and get married right now AND are decent looking, not awkard/weird (not specified in your post, but implied) are actually pretty rare. they are also in high demand, which means they can usually find a very high quality woman to settle down with. that's why it's important for women to maximize their SMV/RMV by marrying young, when they are at their lifetime SMV peak.

Why not just wait until you’re 30 to marry and are making $80-90k?

because being older hurts you more than earning more money helps you. if you aren't hot enough to lock down a very successful guy to be his SAHM when you're 22, you're going to be even less likely to do it at 30.

guys who are looking for a SAHM want one who is young and at peak fertility. they don't want a 30 year old because that 30 year old has already wasted her best child bearing years.

if you can't lock down a guy in your early to mid 20s, the answer is NOT waiting until you're older because it will be even harder then. instead, loosen you standards until you can find a guy that you can lock down. being financially successful is pretty important for the SAHM situation, but maybe you can find a guy who is a little bit older or maybe not quite as good looking or is kind of a beta or something like that.

Title	Q4Men Why would I want to get married young if I can’t be a stay at home mom? WITH ALIMONY protection if I get divorced.
Author	TheMarbleSlab
Upvotes	61
Comments	415
Date	December 24, 2018 1:51 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/a90m1j/q4men_why_would_i_want_to_get_married_young_if_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4men-why-would-i-want-to-get-married-young-if-i.258392 https://theredarchive.com/post/258392

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