On Attraction

Summary: Just like guys love nice tits and skinny women but aren't looking for the skinniest woman or the woman with biggest tits, women are the same. Women are attracted to a few non-negotiable alpha traits. They are not looking for the biggest guy, they are not looking for the most aggressive guy, they aren't even necessarily looking for the leader of the group. They are looking for their favorite out of everyone who has these non-negotiable traits. As a guy, you would never be attracted to a fat chick. However, once a girl is skinny, whether or not you like her is no longer dependent on skinniness, and it now depends on other traits.

Body:

This is something I've been thinking over for a while and wanted to write a bit on. There is an idea among guys that because women are attracted to certain traits, you need to have the highest level of those traits possible. This is untrue.

What Guys Want

Imagine the stupidity of a girl hearing "guys like skinny girls", and deciding to be as skinny as humanly possible, and then expecting you to see her as the most attractive.

Out of 50 skinny girls, who are you going to be the most attracted to? Is the answer "the skinniest one"? Of course not. Once the girl is skinny, it all comes down to preference. Maybe you like brunettes. Maybe you like blondes. Maybe you like girls with huge tits, maybe you like small tits, maybe you want a submissive girl, who cares what the fuck you want.

But my point is that there is a non-negotiable trait, and for guys that trait is appearance. She has to be of a certain weight, and that's it. When guys talk about their preference, the words "skinny girls" don't need to be said. You say you have a fantasy for gamer chicks? I am not imagining a fat gamer chick. I'm imagining a skinny one.

The fact that a hot girl will be skinny is not up to discussion, it is non-negotiable and is not up to preference. The preference is to do with WHICH skinny girl you will like.

That is the world of men, now we'll continue to the world of women.

What Women Want

The collection of women's non-negotiable traits are what we call "alpha". These traits involve appearance, but are actually more focused on personality and behavior. We talk a lot about what these traits are, but let's just sum it down to: confidence, charm, dominance, physical fitness, etc.

There's a few more, but you get the picture. The point I want to make is that these traits are non-negotiable for women, and when women talk about attractive men, they also assume that these traits are a given, just like we assume that any attractive woman would be skinny.

How many times have you heard a girl saying "I really like nerdy guys!" and thought that she's a liar? She's not lying. She really does like nerdy guys.

But her definition of nerdy guys PRESUMES that they have the non-negotiable traits. She doesn't mean fat basement-dwelling neckbeards that lack any basic social skills.

She means a confident, charming, dominant, physically fit guy, who happens to be into whatever nerdy stuff she's into.

I can't stress this enough: it is the same as guys being attracted to a girl. When you say "I am attracted to brunettes", you are actually saying "I am attracted to brunettes given that they are already skinny girls with good bodies and a nice face."

My next point relates to the idiotic assumption guys have that girls will flock to the most muscular or manly guy around.

You Only Need to be Alpha, You Don't Need to be the MOST Alpha.

Being manly and muscular are just non-negotiable traits. They are not the only metric. They are your BARRIER OF ENTRY. When entering the sexual market place, there is an entrance exam that tests these traits. If you fail, you do not qualify as a fuckable guy.

However, once you pass, you are no longer judged by those traits. It no longer matters if you're bigger than some other dude, it no longer matters if you're more aggressive or dominant than some other dude. At this point, women will pick entirely based on their own individual preference, and what matters is whether you fit whatever arbitrary preference she has. Maybe to her the hottest dudes are CEO business types, maybe it's musicians, maybe it's actors, maybe it's bodybuilders, maybe it's guys with long hair, maybe it's hairy dudes, maybe it's guys with a pretty face, there's a million brands of alpha and thanks to hypergamy she can pick her favorite. She can also change her preference, today she's attracted to you, and tomorrow she'll realize some other alpha is more attractive to her. But it won't be because he's more alpha than you, he only needs to be alpha enough to be attractive. You could be the most alpha guy and she'll still find someone less dominant, someone less confident, someone smaller than you, just because that guy clicked her right buttons. Just like with you: some girl will attract you not because she's skinnier or has nicer tits than your current girl. She'll attract you because she's at least pretty enough, and beyond that it'll be some arbitrary reason depending on your own personal taste.

Some Examples for the Non-Believers

• A study has shown that the bodies girls find the most attractive are much leaner than what men think. This is mostly because of their fantasy where they want everything to be totally natural, you need to be a natural alpha, you need to be naturally charming and confident, and yes, they also expect you to be naturally muscular. Their definition of naturally muscular is fucking retarded -- seeing as they think Brad Pitt in Fight Club is the ideal body -- but the point is that they aren't looking for The Rock. They're just looking for a hot guy.

• The star of the Fast & Furious series is Paul Walker. He's not the biggest guy there, that's the Rock. He isn't the alpha of the group by any definition, that's Vin Diesel. How come he's seen as the most attractive of the group by most females? Because they don't care if someone is manlier than Paul Walker. Paul Walker is already manly enough. At that point, it doesn't matter.

• Who are the hottest men who ever lived? Body builders? Nope. James Dean, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, DiCaprio, whatever name you can think of who is associated with sex appeal is not the biggest guy around. But you know what? That guy will always be confident. He will always have a nice body. He will always be charming. He will always be dominant.

• What about the most popular male pornstar among females? James Deen, by far. Doesn't have the biggest cock, doesn't have the nicest body. He's also 5'8. He isn't the most alpha in any way. You can argue he has a more pleasant face, but even if that was the metric, there's enough pornstars with virtually flawless faces that aren't more popular than him. Why him? Probably because he is the most charming dude there, he is more than dominant enough, ultimately it really doesn't matter why. The point is that he is not the manliest guy in porn by any stretch of the imagination, but he's also not a beta. He undeniably has all of the non-negotiable traits, and that's all he needs. From that point, he becomes the best literally just through personality and charm.

Lessons Learned:

1. AWALT. They are all attracted to a few non-negotiable traits. It's crazy that in the anger phase we have a hard time accepting this, because guys are also universally attracted to a few very specific non-negotiable traits.

2. The non-negotiable traits for women to be attracted to you are "Alpha", that's all being Alpha is. Nothing more. Therefore...

3. ...Being Alpha is only a non-negotiable prerequisite to attract women, it's not the metric. Just like guys don't need the skinniest girl, girls don't need the biggest guy. They just want a big guy.

tl;dr: Stop obsessing whether you're the biggest manliest guy around. Women don't care who is the biggest or manliest. All they want is someone who is big and manly enough. Once you have reached that point, you are your own brand of alpha. It no longer matters whether someone is more alpha than you.