Are promiscuous women as reliable in LTR as non-promiscuous?

TomorrowsWar · 2021-08-09T12:41:55+00:00

Is this a personal advice post? She already told you she doesn’t even want to think of a relationship. She is not available to you in that way. It sounds like you are wanting to make a choice to be in a LTR so I would advise you distance yourself emotionally and keep dating other people. Neither of these women sound like the one

SaBahRub · 2021-08-09T14:28:04+00:00

You got an answer from the one you wanted. Stop trying to rationalize

You’re chasing Chad while stringing Billy along, so to speak

goatismycopilot · 2021-08-09T13:36:00+00:00

The hotter girl wants to keep her options open in case somebody better comes along. She does not see you as relationship material. I also doubt you are exclusive.

Liberal_On_Guns · 2021-08-09T19:42:43+00:00

Simply to answer the question, no. Promiscuous women, on average, are not as reliable in LTRs if you were to strictly go off of the data. More likely to cheat, more likely to divorce, both by significant margins. Does that guarantee that she's going to cheat? No. Does that guarantee that she's going to divorce you later? No.

However, I find it interesting that people so easily look past being a hoe, but not being a cheater. After all, a remorseful woman who has cheated in the past isn't "guaranteed" to cheat on you. But if you say "I don't date cheaters," you are considered to be setting a reasonable boundary. "I don't date hoes" is considered unreasonable by some. The purpose is to protect yourself in both cases. You don't look past cheating because you understand that cheaters are more likely to cheat on you. Okay, hoes are also more likely to cheat on you. A prudent bachelor, in my opinion, should put bot types in the "no LTR" category.

4everrekt · 2021-08-09T14:36:30+00:00

Promiscuity portends impulsiveness, which is a quality I’d want to avoid in an LTR

NICHIJOU2411 · 2021-08-09T18:28:02+00:00

I really wouldn’t know, but I am not taking a chance on a promiscuous woman ever.

Zcuzz · 2021-08-09T11:16:43+00:00

From my own personal experience, the more promiscuous they are the more likely they are to cheat/end the relationship over something minor/petty.

King_D0ng · 2021-08-09T11:17:30+00:00

The studies I've seen have correlated high n count to being more likely to divorce for both men and women. Obviously this is just a likelihood and not a guarantee so it depends on the individual. But to your point on why women are judged but men aren't as much, it's because high n count for men correlates to high attractiveness. If high n count correlated to high n count for women, men would probably mostly ignore n count too.

trystina · 2021-08-09T15:21:49+00:00

I was a huge slut when my boyfriend and I were just seeing each other. In our relationship in the beginning he enjoyed sharing me with other men but that didn’t last long. I’ve had no issue only being with him. I only have eyes for him and I only want to be a slut for him.

CFinCanada · 2021-08-09T15:14:55+00:00

In my case I've been monogamous for 6.5 years, having accrued a notch count over 20 from 18 and a half to 29 when I was last single. My man and I are happier than most other couples we know, I'm deeply in love. However I don't think you can compare our situation to yours because the first girl is clearly telling you that she doesn't want a relationship with you. I was telling my man the opposite and pressuring him to define whether we were a couple or not within a few weeks of dating. If not, I was prepared to walk. If she really wanted to be with you she would likely be doing the same.

Comfortable-Echo-618 · 2021-08-09T16:56:58+00:00

A grown ass man listening to his heart wtf are we in disney land of some shit? listening to your heart only works in movies bro go with the logical answer. As TomorrowsWar said none of these chicks sound like long term types. Don't learn the hard way.

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-08-09T19:52:16+00:00

we're sexually exclusive

she says she doesn't even want to think about relationships right now

One of these is a lie.

Physiologist21 · 2021-08-09T23:52:25+00:00

we're sexually exclusive and getting to know each other but she says she doesn't even want to think about relationships right now

She means you're sexually exclusive. She doesn't need to think about relationships because her getting her back blown out by chad when shes bored requires no thinking and technically isn't a relationship. Protip, whenever someone needs to qualify something they definitely aren't doing you can be rest assured they have already done and are will be continuing to do said thing. Welcome to the red pill.

Edit: Please hit me with that update in a couple weeks/months.

cherryloaf · 2021-08-09T11:51:38+00:00

No, and neither are men. It takes a lot of soul-searching and really changing as a person to be able to recover from having done all of that so that you are functional in a relationship again. Usually people are promiscuous due to a psychological problem.

Culius_Jaesar · 2021-08-09T11:26:05+00:00

If a woman has formed attachments to many guys and dealt with the break up and emotional fallout each time she's going to be more closed off, callous, ready to bounce, and less able to truly connect.

If she's had sexual relationships removed from emotion (or she attempted to) then she's separated sex and relationships in her mind and again, won't be able to connect to her guy like she was able to when she was green.

AquaChip · 2021-08-09T17:59:52+00:00

Anyone with an extremely high n-count or anyone seeking to have an extremely high n-count cannot be trusted. Of course there are exceptions but for the most part they have issues with validation and emotional stability. They’re constantly seeking out validation from others. The ultimate form of validation is sex which means they’re constantly looking for the next sex partner and one person probably won’t be able to fulfill their validation needs.

cunningcaring · 2021-08-09T16:50:39+00:00

Every woman is different. You can’t apply a rule. You are making a classic blunder.

Gilmoregirlin · 2021-08-10T10:36:49+00:00

How old are you? Honestly I don’t think that 10 women in 2 years is necessarily promiscuous. All that aside I am female and what I learned over years of dating is that generally it’s hard to find the crazy sexual chemistry and stable relationship compatibility in one person. Usually you meet one person that’s mostly one and has a little of the other. There has been a good bit written about this but my thoughts are that a lot of times the crazy passion or good chemistry tends to be built on something that is actually emotionally unhealthy we just don’t see it at the time. So maybe for example in your case it’s anxiety or fear or longing to be with someone who does not want to be in a relationship with you in the way that you do. If she came to you tomorrow and said she loved you and wanted to be together I suspect in a month or so you may not feel the same. Sometimes it’s mental illness or some other thing the person has since as a personality we think is chemistry. I’m not saying that it’s not important I’m saying it should be less important than compatibility.

As for promiscuous women yes they can be in relationships but she’s told you she’s not interested right now. Take that as Bible and don’t think anything else. If you can’t continue being with her without wanting more move on.

Willow-girl · 2021-08-10T11:58:27+00:00

Neither girl is the right match for you. A doesn't love you and you don't love B. Hold out for option C.

_ShadyJ_ · 2021-08-09T14:40:45+00:00

Should not judge a person by what the internet says “promiscuous women” do. Judge them by what they say and do.

ThatGirl50 · 2021-08-10T03:12:11+00:00

Ugh the dummies in this comment section. I fucked around way more than the average person, I’m in a super committed relationship and have been more or less have been since the first date.

It’s not about someone’s past, it’s about your connection. Some people just bring the nurturer out in you (true for men and women).

I love that he’s experienced too, and dog loyal.

LeJacquelope · 2021-08-09T11:55:37+00:00

No, and men who are promiscuous are not as reliable as non-promiscuous men.

HumanNumber348 · 2021-08-09T12:16:46+00:00

Data suggest that there’s some correlation between promiscuousness and cheating. But even then, most of them don’t cheat, so I wouldn’t worry too much about it if there’s a certain woman you want. There are many other demographics with increased chances of cheating; women in medicine, liberal women, black women etc. People don’t rule out the possibility for relationships with these women just because of that. In the end, you should do what feels right for you; don’t choose a partner based on what a group of terminally online weirdos have to say about the matter lol.

John_Oakman · 2021-08-09T12:55:01+00:00

Depends on your expectations I guess. Many promiscuous people of both genders see sexual activites as merely recreational in nature, completely divorce from the deeper part of long stable relationships. That type of mentality does not bode well with more traditional minded mentalities.

Vernon_Mansae · 2021-08-10T19:27:56+00:00

From the other guy Itchy Health

cut and paste](https://pastebin.com/FhML2tsf)

approximately half of women in the top quintiles of sociosexuality had been sexually unfaithful to a steady partner; this was more than a tenfold increase over the corresponding rate for people in the bottom quintiles.

Bailey, J. M., Kirk, K. M., Zhu, G., Dunne, M. P., & Martin, N. G. (2000). Do individual differences in sociosexuality represent genetic or environmentally contingent strategies? Evidence from the Australian twin registry. Journal of personality and social psychology, 78(3), 537–545. https://doi.org/10.1037//0022-3514.78.3.537

X

In illustration of this, the odds ratio of 1.13 for lifetime sexual partners obtained with the face-to-face mode of interview indicates that the probability of infidelity increased by 13% for every additional lifetime sexual partner,

screenshot

Regarding the correlates of infidelity, results indicated that on the basis of both methods of assessment, the probability of sexual infidelity increased with higher number of lifetime sexual partners

Whisman, M. A., & Snyder, D. K. (2007). Sexual infidelity in a national survey of American women: Differences in prevalence and correlates as a function of method of assessment. Journal of Family Psychology, 21(2), 147–154. https://doi.org/10.1037/0893-3200.21.2.147

X

Our findings demonstrate that infidelity and number of sexual partners are both under moderate genetic influence (41% and 38% heritable, respectively) and the genetic correlation between these two traits is strong (47%). The resulting genetic correlation between the two traits was .47, so nearly half the genes impacting on infidelity also affect number of sexual partners. The correlation of the unique environment between the two variables was .48.

Cherkas, L., Oelsner, E., Mak, Y., Valdes, A., & Spector, T. (2004). Genetic Influences on Female Infidelity and Number of Sexual Partners in Humans: A Linkage and Association Study of the Role of the Vasopressin Receptor Gene (AVPR1A). Twin Research, 7(6), 649-658. doi:10.1375/twin.7.6.649

X

A truism in psychology is that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. This is no less true in the realm of sexual behavior. Indeed, one of the strongest predictors of marital infidelity is one’s number of prior sex partners (Buss, 2000). Deception about past sexual promiscuity would have inflicted greater costs, on average, on men than on women

Haselton, M. G., Buss, D. M., Oubaid, V., & Angleitner, A. (2005). Sex, Lies, and Strategic Interference: The Psychology of Deception Between the Sexes. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 31(1), 3–23. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167204271303

X

Sexual promiscuity was significantly positively correlated with emotional promiscuity [r(356) = .261, p < .001], as well with sexual infidelity [r(323) = .595, p < .001] and emotional infidelity [r(323) = .676, p < .001], indicating that sexually promiscuous participants also tend to be emotionally promiscuous, and sexual[ly] and emotional[ly] unfaithful. In terms of the sexual domain, results showed that there is also a positive correlation between sexual promiscuity and sexual infidelity, stating that individuals that tend to be more sexually promiscuous also tend to be more sexually unfaithful. These results support our second hypothesis.

Pinto R., Arantes J. (2016). The Relationship between Sexual and Emotional Promiscuity and Infidelity in Proceedings of the Athens: ATINER’S Conference Paper Series, No: PSY2016-2087, Athens, 10.30958/ajss.4-4-3

X

Number of pre-marital partners: percent who cheated once married

2: 10.4%

3: 14.9%

4: 17.7%

5: 21.6%

6-10: 26.0%

11-20: 36.7%

21+: 46.8%

NORC General Social Survey. (2011, October 02). Female Infidelity Based on Number of Premarital Partners — Statistic Brain. Retrieved July 5, 2015, from http://www.statisticbrain.com/percent-of-female-infidelity-based-on-number-of-premarital-partners/

X

Contrary to the myth, partners who’ve had many partners have a harder, not easier, time remaining monogamous. They are significantly more at risk of straying than those with little or no prior sexual experience.

Staik, A., PhD. (2019, March 28). 10 Predictors of Infidelity and Gender Differences: Why Do Partners Cheat? Retrieved July 15, 2020, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/relationships/2014/08/a-look-at-infidelity-why-do-partners-cheat/

X

For people in this survey who reported four or fewer lifetime sexual partners, the rate of infidelity in the current marriage dropped to 11%, while for those who had five or more sexual partners the number was nearly double (21%). The break between the 54% of people who had five or more lifetime sexual partners vs. the 46% who had four or fewer total partners illustrates the lessons from the study. This breakpoint is validated by the fact that when asked straight out, 68% of those with more sexual partners in their pasts agreed that, “I am always faithful to my sexual partner” (whether currently married or single), compared to 82% of those with fewer sexual partners who said the same.

[I]nfidelity is also often the fruit of a lifelong approach to mating that involves seeking and practicing short-term mating encounters that encourage sexual variety at all stages and into marriage.

McQuivey, J. L., PhD. (2019, October 14). The Road to Infidelity Passes Through Multiple Sexual Partners. Retrieved July 16, 2020, from https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-road-to-infidelity-passes-through-multiple-sexual-partners-

https://drlindseyberkson.com/oxytocin-loveorgasm-hormone-dr-lindsey-berkson/

https://archive.fo/hwSqy

https://archive.is/9kJ9y

https://archive.ph/WLCbd

http://cdn.freedomainradio.com/FDR_2899_Marriage_Partners_Study.pdf

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWkPOFz3RSk&t=10826s

Hooking Up: Casual Sex Releases Attachment Chemical in the Brain

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LRgZVReKWE

2021-08-11T03:16:05+00:00

The hotter chick is a complete waste of your time. For a relationship anyway.

Remember that shit. If you don't, it's gonna end with you getting fucked over.

level20000 · 2021-08-31T03:26:07+00:00

Honestly, no. I'm a woman and I don't have a promiscuous past. What I can say is that the women I know/was friends with that did have more of a long line of sexual history, were far less likely to be happy committed to one man, or would assume they deserved better, or would be more okay taking "chances". It's totally okay to want the right match for you, or to walk away from something where the man mistreats you... but promiscuous women tend to want a divorce so they can sleep around. At least that's also what i've observed of women around 40+ who decide to divorce. They need more stimulation and they've normalized hookups.

I'm not one to slut-shame, but I also don't believe in the whole "sex is just sex!" mentality. Sex is actually not necessarily a big deal in terms of history, because in reality, there were periods of time where it was the norm for the woman to sleep around to ensure she got pregnant... but as a woman, I can definitely say that promiscuous women are less trustworthy in general. Even as a friend, they are less trustworthy. I can't imagine being a man and wanting to marry a woman with an extensive past. As a woman, I don't want a man with a long line of sex partners. People don't change post-marriage, unless they absolutely want to and can make those changes stick. Someone having had, let's say, 10 partners pre-marriage, can maybe make that jump... but anything above that or something above that? She's more likely to have made casual sex a habit. Same goes for men.

In your case, neither woman sounds right for you.

ShinobiKrow · 2021-08-09T16:09:54+00:00

A man who fucks a lot of women is a chad. A women who fucks a lot of men is a whore. One is a good key, the other is a bad lock. As simple as that. You want a key that can open many locks, but you don't want a lock that can be open by any key

ThrowAwayBro737 · 2021-08-09T11:56:33+00:00

This isn’t even a legitimate question. Studies have been done on this and the results are in. The more sexual partners a woman has had in her past, the less able she is to pair-bond and the more likely she is to divorce.

https://ifstudies.org/blog/counterintuitive-trends-in-the-link-between-premarital-sex-and-marital-stability

Concentrate more on the data than on the commentary. Here, the authors bend over backwards and contort themselves into pretzels to try to explain the data away as a cultural phenomenon instead of basic biology. Even going so far as to say that the correlation may be related to Church attendance. That is, promiscuous women divorce more, not because they fail to pair-bond with their husbands, but because they’re less likely to attend Church regularly 🙄.

TodTheRod01 · 2021-08-09T13:43:59+00:00

Women who have used their bodies to get what they want without having to actually work for it are the least reliable people on the planet. Hoes and/or golddiggers suck big time!

Women who freely express themselves sexually for no other reason than the fact they actually like a guy are the best. These women have often slept with a lot of prior boyfriends. However, if they ever fall madly in love they're all in. Nothing more loyal than a slut in love.

SonicBackScratcher · 2021-08-09T13:10:14+00:00

My entire female friend group are in LTRs and promiscuous by default.

N count isn't an issue.

Why they have the n count is.

Most women if given the chance to have fun meaningless sex where they know it won't bite them in the ass in some way would go for it, but being thats against both traditional society (life isn't twitter) and the normal female imperative, they don't.

So thats where n count is the red flag, depending on the mental state that led them to it.

I can pick out out the difference but thats after years of a LTR and years of being in an alternative style relationship, so I can't give a guide. What I can say is cheating, overly impulsive, lower IQ, substance abuse, would all be red flags with a high n.

qunamax · 2021-08-09T14:28:27+00:00

No they are not and will never be. Women are the keepers of sex and man are the attackers. You are a good attacker if you score a lot, she is not a good keeper if she gets scored a lot. But I hear you say, women also like sex, yes, true, but they can't spread offspring with multiple men within a year or less, man can with multiple women daily, in theory. It has a biological background and you can't simply deny it. Something is wrong with promiscuous women, on some level or other, every man that had his share of women will tell you that. Promiscuous women aren't good LTR material, the gates are open for good, don't fool yourself that you are the chosen one to close them.

thetruthishere_ · 2021-08-09T12:21:41+00:00

You have to ask this, neither are right for you. If its not a hell yes, then its a no.

And baloney promiscuous men are not affected by running through women.

M_LaSalle · 2021-08-09T19:10:33+00:00

No woman should be considered "reliable" in an LTR. The difference between promiscuous and non-promiscuous is in degree, not kind.

One I met on a dating app, really fun to be around, solid 7/10, we're sexually exclusive and getting to know each other but she says she doesn't even want to think about relationships right now, so a major red flag. Her las ex was 2 years ago and since then she's been having casual things. She's not very stable financially and probably not emotionally either.

Advice: Never try to rescue a princess who's running a dragon farm. If she says she's not interested in a relationship, and you want a relationship, then believe her and look elsewhere. If you are happy to have a casual thing, then the hotter girl is the better choice.

It really depends on what you want.

sootlord · 2021-08-09T12:30:27+00:00

IMO: Promiscuous women are non reliable for a LTR.

Y615 · 2021-08-09T12:18:35+00:00

I understand about the studies and stuff but I would like to say that it depends on the woman bruh. Personally I wouldn't ever commit to a woman like this because of the fact that she enjoyed so much and I wouldn't have.

Bobspared · 2021-08-09T16:14:15+00:00

Just wank into a towel and work towards your Nobel Prize.

gimpgirl555 · 2021-08-09T11:21:33+00:00

They're both 30.

They have both hit the wall. Go younger.

To answer your question: no. Promiscuous women show that they don't want to commit. If they didn't commit to previous men why would they commit to you?

nofap_champ · 2021-08-09T12:24:57+00:00

No they are not.

And its not just that they are more likely to cheat. They are also bad mothers. I can link some reddit posts here for example.

sumilia · 2021-08-09T19:47:18+00:00

How old are you and why are you rating women on their looks? Grow up. That aside, neither one of these women sound like a good match for you. One of them excites you but she isn't looking for an exclusive relationship. The other one you'd be better off with as friends. You need to keep looking.

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Boplic · 2021-08-09T11:51:18+00:00

I’m assuming your question is if you should follow your heart or your friends and so I’ll give my best insight on it.

The first step into seeing how good a relationship would be should be to exclude their past and focus on the present. Looking just at what you mentioned, a girl who “isn’t looking to settle down in a committed relationship”, is already committed to having sex with you despite that, and is “not financially (and likely not emotionally) stable” are all things that would immediately disqualify her from consideration in my mind.

The second girl has a bit more to talk about. You say she “isn’t as pretty” but I truly don’t see how that’s relevant beyond there being an amount of attraction. I don’t honestly get why guys would prefer a girl slightly more physically attractive over a girl slightly less when the slightly less is the significantly better option. That’s me including the “very stable and solid emotionally and financially”. The real roadblock is “we lack connection”. But, you saying it’s normal given your lack of dates leads me to believe it’s a lesser connection issue than ones I would be worried about.

All in all, without sexual history, the second girl is a show in imo and if you add it in you only get more reasoning to go after her. I get that you might like the sex with a more attractive girl better, but that’s why I’m celibate until marriage. The best way of viewing someone’s worth in a relationship is finding out if you’ll love them without having sex with them.

KamuiObito · 2021-08-09T15:17:48+00:00

Noooppe

drewcer · 2021-08-09T15:20:47+00:00

I mean there are lots of other factors to take into account rather than just is she promiscuous or not. Like why she has been promiscuous is important.

I think even if the data says promiscuous women are more likely to to be unsuccessful in long-term relationships, the truth behind that data is probably more nuanced. I wouldn't write a girl off immediately for an LTR just because she has a promiscuous history.

Frankly, most girls have a period where they're promiscuous as all hell in their early 20s, then they get it out of their system. But I'm generalizing.

I think the only way to tell for an individual girl is to date her and don't make any sudden impulse decisions to get married. See how it is with her and notice for red flags over the long term before you marry her.

Murphysmongoose · 2021-08-09T15:32:20+00:00

Yes, prior promiscuous girls can gf up just fine, assuming you are satisfying her.

In this case though, it honestly seems like the second is more your LTR level match.

I understand you like seeing the other girl naked more, or desire to see her naked more- but she is apparently just using you as a place holder. Somebody good enough to wet her whistle, and get some meat... but she's really holding out to cash in on those looks and sex kitten attributes.

PrincessaRusalka · 2021-08-09T15:33:45+00:00

Promiscuity is bad, period. Sounds like you want sex and not a relationship.

Work on your emotional maturity and take both off the hot girl pedestal you put them on.

pubgmisc · 2021-08-09T16:06:44+00:00

Men's biggest fear/concern is ensuring paternity (that their kid is theirs). Chaste is the biggest value factor, also better-paid bonding ability. Women are born with value and must retain it, men are born without value and have to build it up. Girls in 20s date the top 10-20% of men, then when the majority 80% of men become older and more established, they'll look for a woman who is chaste, and can take care of him. Stuff like that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMq7QL1gZBc&ab_channel=FreshandFit
1:46:30 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CGduTEpTgw&t=2048s&ab_channel=FreshandFit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wQSgkQOpY4&ab_channel=FreshandFit

bluehorserunning · 2021-08-09T16:34:13+00:00

Sure, if you have an open relationship and you're both clear that the other person philandering is ok.

The reason philandering men don't lead to divorce as much is because a woman is more likely to forgive a philandering husband than a man is to forgive a philandering wife, when monogamy is an expectation; in addition, women tend to become more emotionally attached to their external lovers than men do, and are thus more likely to leave if the primary marriage is unsatisfactory.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2021-08-09T18:46:33+00:00

Nope. They aren't.

Consistent_Address62 · 2021-08-10T06:09:55+00:00

Absolutely not

soundblind_12 · 2021-08-10T13:24:26+00:00

What kind of question is this? The woman has said she doesn’t even want to think of a relationship - so why is a LTR with her even on the cards in your mind?

AffectionateFox0 · 2021-08-10T17:05:38+00:00

You should choose neither

saltwaterandthesea · 2021-08-11T15:48:11+00:00

I’m sorry I think the pair bonding shit TRP invents out of thin air is bullshit. If a woman OR a man has slept with a ton of people and you are uncomfortable with that, it’s your right to pursue a partner with more similar values when it comes to sex. Saying it’s an “only female problem” and men can sleep with whoever they want and settle down with a perfect virgin when they’re ready feels misogynistic to me.

I’m a female who has only had sex in committed relationships with the exceptions of like two short term flings in college. My current partner has been with like double what I have and has only had one night stands basically. Who is less likely to pair bond or whatever shit red pill vomits at women all the time? I would think him. I don’t think it’s a “woman issue” but more a values difference.

I do think, either way, finding a virgin this day in age with all the dating apps is quite rare.

Title	Are promiscuous women as reliable in LTR as non-promiscuous?
Author	Culius_Jaesar
Upvotes	19
Comments	236
Date	August 9, 2021 10:57 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/p0z62d/are_promiscuous_women_as_reliable_in_ltr_as/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-promiscuous-women-as-reliable-in-ltr-as-non.849771 https://theredarchive.com/post/849771

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