I've lived my life as both male and female and have seen how each gender is treated first hand as both: AMA

diceman89 · 2014-09-20T12:56:42+00:00

Is there anything you miss about being a woman?

SchalaZeal01 · 2014-09-20T14:21:11+00:00

As a woman, I could be as manly as I wanted, as butch as I pleased and no one batted an eye, but as I transitioned into male? It was "unacceptable". I needed to "man up if I was going to be a man" - what the hell is this shit?

It's ironically even worse from people close to you who know you're trans, but who like rigid gender roles for themselves.

They think you made a choice and are "hesitating" about it, by not being all black and white stereotypes.

I'm enough "don't take shit" that, my family understood that I was going to "take it or leave it", for myself. I get way less opinionated stuff about my own transition now. I did the opposite to yours, I present as female since I was 24, 8 years ago.

Val_P · 2014-09-20T14:41:43+00:00

Thanks for posting this. I'm MTF, and the change in the amount of social freedom I was allowed when I transitioned was mindblowing.

17versus5 · 2014-09-20T11:51:07+00:00

Have you read Self Made Man by Norah Vincent? Not trans, but went hard on presentation for 18 months, and from the sound of it had a similar experience (probably worse).

Questions and comments:

You may have simply gravitated toward "masculine style", but have you noticed a difference in what it was acceptable for you to wear?
One's brow structure is a large part of presentation which is often overlooked; not judging, but you clearly went through the effort of making your point, so this is something to consider.
Norah said that she initially felt a freedom when "unsolicited compliments" stopped, but then truly felt their absence, and missed them, when she realized there were no compliments coming. How was your experience with this?
Aside from feeling more comfortable within your own life, are there any benefits you've experienced as a result of the transition?
Assuming this is an ongoing transition, are you looking forward to facial hair as more than a validation of your identity (worthy in and of itself)?
I suggest you avoid any "walking like a man" bullshit, there's a difference, but attempting to compensate for it will fuck up your hips; the joins are different. Do what's comfortable, you're body will thank you when you get older.
Has your perception/understanding of assertive/aggressive changed at all?
What's it like having breasts as a man? Any trans anxiety aside... hm, I'm not really sure how to word this, but perhaps you understand. Non-sexual.

Sorry if I seem like I'm interrogating you, but I've always found the trans perspective... desirable, yeah, desirable, because despite the cloud of social and identity stuff, you can see things the rest of us never will. <3

simanimos · 2014-09-20T14:28:23+00:00

I appreciate you taking the time to do this. You have a unique perspective on things that i am elated to see you share.

What advantages are there to being male? What disadvantages are there to being female?

ShitlordAndProud · 2014-09-20T16:59:00+00:00

Which sex is freer to express its sexuality?

Snevitje · 2014-09-20T15:25:42+00:00

(Edit: Most of this probably makes only half as much sense if I don't state in advance that I'm MTF. So: MTF here)

This is something I basically only know "from online", though it wouldn't surprise me if it was fairly common in real life. Have you got any flak specifically for being a trans man who's insufficiently convinced of male privilege?
Do you think you live in a particularly macho area? I'm interested in how much of your experience of strictly enforced/demanded masculinity comes down to regional differences. A little background: I live in a non-English-speaking European country and grew up in the 70s and 80s; you don't/didn't. I was made fun of for being less than stoic, sporty, and tough in school, but no women seemed to have a problem with my height (a little below yours)... not that I think they'd have necessarily told me. And I never officially dated "in the wild". So this might just be my goth years speaking, or my general tendency to associate with nerdy people -- not sure. For what it's worth, vaguely "elfish" feminine facial features and a slender build in men also seem to be quite attractive to a lot of women.
Do you think you get subjected to these expectations in part because, by transitioning, you're making an official claim to manhood as far as others are concerned? That is, do you think you're being scrutinized and policed more than cis men?
In one answer you've referred to growing up exposed to a general idea of men as mean oppressive privileged pigs. At the same time you're expected to "man up" to an absurd degree. In your experience, do these expectations and prejudices come from the same people? I seem to remember that a high school teacher who needed to get a VCR running might outright ask "Can any of the boys help me with this?"; yet overt masculinity seemed to be seen as a little pathetic, obnoxious, possibly delinquent, and generally okay to make fun of.
If girls are allowed to be boyish or girly, but boys are granted no such flexiblility -- do you think masculinity is ultimately valued over femininity, just not necessarily to boys' and men's advantage? (I have my own speculations on this, and they have to do with aesthetics...)
Do you think your distaste for being seen as, treated as, or looking like a woman coloured your impression of who has it better? For example, there might well be an assumption of incompetence (rather than just lower physical strength, greater risk, or greater innocence) mixed in with the greater protection and sensitivity afforded girls. But what I took away from it was "MERE BOYS should deal with the dirt and danger!". And I couldn't (and still can't) see male-only mandatory military and civilian services as valuing men. It was all sugar and spice vs random crap from the compost heap, as far as I was concerned. But someone who actually liked being male might have disagreed, might have enjoyed the implication of strength and responsibility more, might have felt less abandoned and misunderstood. (Of course I don't know the nature or level of your dysphoria -- I'm sorry if I made any wrong assumptions. Just going by my own experiences.)

I'm sorry if this was too much or too jumbled... I just tend to edit for so long that a topic has been abandoned by the time I'm done. So here goes :)

ashu_crazyboy1994 · 2014-09-20T12:54:54+00:00

I noticed you said something about taking testosterone has that in any way way affected your sex life e.g increase in sex drive etc.

Khajiit-ify · 2014-09-20T15:57:14+00:00

Thank you for this AMA. I'm a woman who has felt over the last few years that feminism has become a bit of a joke, and I have a question more so about your thoughts on the transition rather than one side or the other.

When you told others of your transgenderism and that you identified fully as male, was there any negative responses from either side?

17versus5 · 2014-09-20T15:47:49+00:00

Thanks for sharing... Most transgender(from male to female), I've known, have told me the same thing. I was a hard core feminist supporter, when debating this issue with these women I would always defend the feminist position and couldn't believe that they weren't supportive of the "the cause". It would be very interesting to see a scientific survey over this and I think there's more to this than what we see on the surface.

ShitlordAndProud · 2014-09-20T16:58:51+00:00

Which sex is freer to express its sexuality?

MRSPArchiver · 2014-09-20T10:52:38+00:00

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all_mah_people · 2014-09-20T16:22:18+00:00

Thought I would put in my 2 cents on this after creating a new account... For the purpose of scene setting I have a small build, am about 171cm tall, slender, feminine hips so I'm told by others, long hair can only just pass for female in the right circumstances and effort put in by me and within cosplay wigs and such.

Anyway, as a pretty feminine guy myself I would say you're correct with guys really getting shit for being feminine. Firstly, I myself have noticed girls are encouraged to embrace their features and qualities be them masculine, feminine or other; as a guy growing up it was a case of constantly being told "man the fuck up" with an occasional hit for doing something too girly from various people here and there.

Now, (for clarification, I am an young adult at edging to 20) I notice feminine guys are very polarising when it comes to dating or relationships too... overlooked and ridiculed for being as such and having every feature someone doesn't like picked out. It seems okay for that to happen to me but as I have learned if I point out a negative feature to a woman I did have an entire group turn hostile then with the overly masculine men seeking some form if justice through hurting me. That said you do sometimes come across those who are okay with and like a submissive and feminine guy as I said it's polarizing and few love it and others hate it.

A point I would like to add on work is that I've been turned down for jobs more frequently than most (At this point I have just chalked that up to bad luck) but one particular job interview I was in the interview room with someone who was assisting the interviewer and the interviewer comes in, sits, and looks at me for 10 seconds dead on and says "I don't employ faggots" and the advice I was given from this was to just "move on and forget it" but I feel if this had happened to a woman they would no longer be employed. To be clear in my country (Australia) this is illegal for sure but I can't prove anything and led to a legitimate consideration to look into wearing a camera hidden somewhere. This isn't isolated either, members of the public on several occasions have made a passing comment regarding sexuality due to making the assumption a feminine guy.

TL;DR: Being a feminine guy family, friends and public feel the need to ridicule you and draw assumptions regarding sexuality and bring it up rather regularly in a negative light. Any guy who (like myself) takes the time and effort to look after long hair, occasional basic makeup, keep eyebrows in shape and act or look feminine will get constant criticism from many people be them friends, family, strangers and etc.

Thought my 2 cents might be interesting to someone here... sorry if it isn't.

Gittiup · 2014-09-20T22:08:03+00:00

I have no questions but just wanted to say welcome to /r/Mensrights !

sens2t2vethug · 2014-09-20T15:15:09+00:00

Hi, thanks for talking about your experiences! As a fairly average cis-male who has always taken being a man for granted, I've often wondered what it's like to feel that you're another gender from the one society assigns you. Did you want to live as a man? And/or was it more like feeling that you are a man, that there's something that makes you and me men as opposed to women?

Hope I've not phrased any of this badly. I have to admit I don't always know the right way to talk about gender identities, unfortunately. :)

ShitlordAndProud · 2014-09-20T15:59:42+00:00

Do you find men are able to impose their desires on women? As a female were you subject to the imposition of male desires?

bohowannabe · 2014-09-20T17:00:38+00:00

This is interesting. I have two friends who transitioned (one FtM and one MtF). They've told me about the good and the bad before and after transitioning. My FtM friend is taken more seriously after becoming male, and people don't automatically assume that he needs help when he enters a store, and trust that he knows what's he's doing. But he's also been called a fag for stupid things like walking a small dog. He's also insecure about his height at 5'6. You're probably taller than a lot of trans guys, and I think it's dumb to worry about someone's height in general. As a female though, he was sexually harassed at the places he worked, and even groped.

Do you think you were considered traditionally attractive as a female? Do you think this had anything to do with how you were treated?

My other friend who was MtF noticed that she could flirt playfully with the opposite sex and that women didn't think it was strange. As a woman though, she found that she quickly lost that freedom as guys automatically assume she wants to be with them. She also has a tech job on the computer, and noticed that a lot of people questioned her expertise as a woman, when it was seldom done when she identified as male. Obviously now she can dress with a lot more fluidity.

Do you think a lot of the problems associated with your narrow gender role now as a man have to do with people seeing things that are feminine as weak? From both male and female perspectives? Do you think that if you didn't live in such a competitive country like the U.S. that you would have it easier?

Furah · 2014-09-20T17:12:58+00:00

The one thing I'm most curious about, but never been brave enough to ask, do/could you have sex, and if so how does/would it work? I'm pretty sure I saw you mention that you had an operation, but I'm on my phone so I can't find it. I understand if you don't want to answer, I've found out the hard way that the wrong words can hurt (MTF friend).

outhouse_steakhouse · 2014-09-20T18:00:26+00:00

This has been a fascinating thread. I don't really have a question, I just want to say thanks for giving me a better understanding of some of the issues trans people face. Best of luck and good wishes to you, OP!

Raudskeggr · 2014-09-20T22:51:01+00:00

I'm a little surprised to see a post like this in /r/mensrights! But it's a fascinating AMA, nonetheless. Thanks for sharing your experiences.

Now, as a man, I am apparently not even allowed to voice my opinion on women's rights. Doesn't matter that I still have breasts, a vagina, and two X chromosomes - nope. Because I pass as male, I have suddenly lost my ability to understand the plight of poor womenfolk.

So, do the people who don't accept your views know about your biological sex? Or are they merely taking your gender at face value?

17versus5 · 2014-09-21T00:38:32+00:00

Did taking testosterone change the way you view others sexually? Did it make your sexual attraction to others more physical rather than emotional? I vaguely remember reading about a woman experiencing this with testosterone injections.

Nepene · 2014-09-20T16:20:02+00:00

Hi. Thanks for your response. With your freedom of speech thing you mentioned you were free to talk in a man hating way when younger, are not free to talk on woman's rights now.

Could you talk a bit more about this? Were you free to make the same comments on women's rights as a woman, or only comments on how men sucked? Are you free to make man hating comments now? Who is policing your words when you say whatever?

17versus5 · 2014-09-20T15:43:40+00:00

First of all thank you for posting. I have read through the comments and I need some clarification.

You talked about how women have been hostile to you when you try and talk about the difficulties that men face. My question is have you ever been successful in communicating that message. You of all people have the qualifications to talk about the subject. But I have found it personally very difficult to effectively communicate that position without derailment from the other party.

I know that men and women face their own specific challenges but I have a really tough time getting women to even consider the challenges that men face. Any advice to how to word things or how to present them would be much appreciated.

ShitlordAndProud · 2014-09-20T13:46:30+00:00

Any difference in the way store security treats you? Are they more or less suspicious, or just the same.

numandina · 2014-09-20T18:24:06+00:00

I've always wondered something: are ftm trans people more privileged than mtf? I mean not as female or male, rather when their identity is out as trans. What do you think?

canna_fodder · 2014-09-20T18:38:54+00:00

Your sign... you write like a girl 😜

sillymod · 2014-09-20T20:22:13+00:00

Thanks for sharing this. It was very interesting.

If I may sidetrack for a moment... This subreddit gets accused of being anti-LGBT, among other accusations, relatively often.

I think the issue is more that many LGBT issues don't directly overlap with male issues. Many LGBT people are mistreated because of their sexual orientation, not their gender, which is a different topic. But I think the popularity and interest in this post goes to show that people are interesting in and sympathetic to transgender and LGBT issues.

I appreciate you sharing your story and insight. Thanks, and I hope you have a great life presenting the gender that you choose. You may have other struggles in life from it, but I am glad you are at least comfortable with yourself.

Have a great weekend!

init2winito1o2 · 2014-09-20T22:55:07+00:00

Would you say, in your own experiences, That both genders have just as much of a hard time as the other, only in different ways?

Stephen1985 · 2014-09-20T23:11:39+00:00

I hope this is not offensive as I don't intend it to be I'm just genuinely curious. Do you think you were born as a man in a woman's body or do you think society and your life experiences made you who you are.

Basically in your opinion nature or nurture?

wazzup987 · 2014-09-21T00:43:26+00:00

Hi i just have one more question. How did what you thought being man would be like (transition) compare to how it feels to be a man now (post transition)?

CanadianXCountry · 2014-09-21T01:12:35+00:00

I hate to sound insensitive, but I've honestly never met a trans individual. But why is there this feeling that there's a necessity to change? Like why does it feel wrong for you to have a vagina? I've never questioned my gender, never really even thought about it, I was just born with a penis so I'm a guy, that's it. I've never really considered anything else; what prompted you to look at yourself and think that something's wrong?

17versus5 · 2014-09-21T02:06:30+00:00

Wow, you inject testosterone!

Does it go whoosh when you inject it, or is it very subtle?

XenlaMM9 · 2014-09-21T04:32:37+00:00

This is really interesting, and I agree with a lot of it. There is a lot I do have one question, though. Don't you think your anecdote about the wage gap doesn't accurately represent the majority of the problems in the workforce?

It sucks that men can't be whatever they want like you said, but women have a lot of issues in being perceived equally as men are. They are much more apparent in higher-up levels in business and such. I really admire you for telling this and being so awesome about it, but I feel that one aspect doesn't paint an accurate picture.

Thanks for the ama!

2014-09-21T12:48:50+00:00

I've also seen people on you tube talking about their transition, and how male privilege is real and some incredible thing - I know this could well be down to conformation bias from having strong feminist beliefs before hand.

What do you think about the fact there are those that transition ftm that say the opposite of what you are?

wazzup987 · 2014-09-20T18:39:30+00:00

Ok So a lot that cultural stuff has been touched on/covered. That was very interesting thank you.

In the interest of not going over the same ground. what are your thoughts on feminism?

How do we get across the issues of Mens issues?

Side bar: I don't like the term Men's rights. I prefer mens issues. A lot the stuff we talk about is aren't strictly what you would consider rights. Changing the social paradigm is a right it its an issue. /rant

What are you thought on mens rights?

What would you change in feminism and Mens right if you could?

What would you suggest we do to garner the good will of the LGBT community?

What would you say in the western world are the top five womens issues and the top five mens issues?

Any way thanks your perspective has been really interesting.

anonagent · 2014-09-20T20:43:06+00:00

I have a question, and I know it'll be controversial, but I'm truly not trying to offend or demean anyone.

Do you think some people that transition between genders are doing it, at least in part, because they feel like the media and stuff is constantly berating men, and they see it as a possible solution to being seen as a good person by default, rather than the "he's male therefore a possible rapist/child molestor/robber/murderer/etc"?

I hope that made sense.

17versus5 · 2014-09-20T13:13:11+00:00

Considering I know someone who is TG, proof? I won't believe this is real until proof is provided because it's really easy with medical papers or a medicine bottle with personal information blocked out.

Wargame4life · 2014-09-20T20:59:57+00:00

Has it ever occurred to you that the difference between being allowed to be a "manly girl" versus being ridiculed for the exact same behaviour as a man is because men are seen as better more capable, i.e expected to be better.

Like being a good player in the small leagues and getting praise, but then getting abuse and criticism when you move to the big leagues. Your skill is the same but the expectation is more.

17versus5 · 2014-09-20T14:57:16+00:00

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Stalgrim · 2014-09-20T18:14:36+00:00

Ok. This is something I've wanted to ask for a while but never got a chance. Can you grow a beard?

SpaceRocker420 · 2014-09-20T18:33:09+00:00

I love your post! I think we need to hear from more transgender people! What better way to maybe change someone's mind? I have heard similar points of view before and it just blows my mind. I am a straight male , but when I hear about people changing their sexual identity, it is always so interesting to hear about the transition. You have the unique experience of being able to see both sides of the coin while everyone else is stuck with their own point of view. I think its horrible the way men are treated these days. Thank you for your perspective :)

ffngg · 2014-09-20T19:03:33+00:00

Stupid question but how should one properly adress you?

Also what does the state adress you as, does it say female or have they chanched it?

May i ask which counrty you live in? Just curius.

Also realy intresting read, always fun to hear a bit about a redditor. : )

TommyyyGunsss · 2014-09-20T19:03:39+00:00

How did gay men react when they found out that you have a vagina?

manofsea · 2014-09-20T19:15:46+00:00

Thank you.

jacks0nX · 2014-09-20T19:26:57+00:00

Very interesting read, thank you for this AMA!
May I ask if you'd be interested to have another AMA in the usual subreddits, like /r/IAmA or /r/casualiama?

Daxidol · 2014-09-20T19:56:19+00:00

Really interesting perspective, thank you for taking the time to post it!

IONCEWASBANNED · 2014-09-21T00:17:17+00:00

Have you considered that the wage discrimination you now face could be b/c you are trans?

What was the store chain that paid you more as a woman than they did as a man?

Do you feel as though you get shit on for needing to man up from more men, women, or about equal?

I take issue w/ a couple things you say at the end.

I am apparently not even allowed to voice my opinion on women's rights.

This is ridiculous, as you are actually doing that exact thing right now and no one is stopping you.

Doesn't matter that I still have breasts, a vagina, and two X chromosomes - nope.

As a trans man, you should know that none of those things make you a particular gender.

Because I pass as male, I have suddenly lost my ability to understand the plight of poor womenfolk.

You sound a little needlessly hostile right here and if you think about it - how could you understand the plight of women as a whole any more than you could undersetand the plight of men as a whole? We are limited by our own experiences and perceptions and while I think it IS possible to empathize with anyone or most anyone, it's not really the same as understanding anyone. Like...I am a white men, but it's not like I understand all men, all whites, or all white men. Hell, I don't even have a great undersanding of myself.

Anyway, interesting AMA, thanks.

JoeBoco7 · 2014-09-21T00:39:21+00:00

Will you be doing another AMA in the feminism reddit?

17versus5 · 2014-09-21T02:26:17+00:00

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shotguneconomics · 2014-09-21T04:13:30+00:00

How did you start your transition?

ARedthorn · 2014-09-21T04:25:58+00:00

I really don't know if I have any questions, you sort of already answered any I might have had... But I would at least like to say, congrats and you rock.

You can literally call yourself a self-made man, and that's awesome.

On that note- I've always felt like men seem to need affirmation... Like women seem to me to simply become women naturally... But men need to be told (by someone they trust who they see as a man) or go through a rite of passage of some sort (intentional or otherwise- as long as they can look back and say "I know I'm a man because I survived that.")

Is that something that resonates for you? Perhaps the transition was your rite?

freemale101 · 2014-09-21T08:28:17+00:00

Hey welcome...

Now all you'll need is a sex addiction, a perception disability (a form of autism) with females and an inborn undiagnosed form of 'male depression' (i.e satisfaction 'exile)...AND YOU'LL BE ONE OF US!!

Welcome to the world of hetero-maledom...God's chosen people. From now on your life will be a series of short-term thrills (that cost money) and comfort zones...a 'slave' to the pussy and a 'slave' to the owners. Let me hand you your 'Patriarchy' membership.

Black_caped_man · 2014-09-21T08:31:52+00:00

Thank you for doing this AMA, it's always interesting to hear about the experiences of transpeople (is that the preferred term?) especially since the specific situation is basically proof of my own views on gender and sexes. It's also interesting to hear about the world from different perspectives and experiences.

I have noticed a lot of transpeople and gay men on here for a while and I'm always interested in their take on the sub and the movement as a whole. Especially given the image that mens rights has in the media (and pretty much all society) how did you find this place and how have your your opinions changed about this sub and the movement over time?

How invested are you and what is your stance on some of the "main issues" of mens rights? The empathy gap, the wage gap, the education gap, pretty much all of the gaps, domestic violence, court and police treatment, societal treatment, circumcision (somewhat interesting if you plan to have surgery to have a penis one day), fathers rights, divorce rights, and whatever else that I apparently forget. Oh yeah the whole selective service deal too.

You don't have to answer, but it would be interesting to hear your thoughts on the matter.

egalitarian-mra · 2014-09-21T10:00:17+00:00

I have an acquaintance who is FtM that seems to be a fairly vocal feminist. He recently posted an image with the feminist quote "There is no female mind. The brain is not an organ of sex. Might as well speak of a female liver" - Charlotte Perkins Gilman.

I sent him a private message so as not to stir anything up on his wall and told him I meant no offense, but I liked to an article about the differences between female and male brains. I never got a response, so I can only imagine that he didn't like the message.

How do you feel about this subject? I can't understand how someone can believe something that completely contradicts modern science without any clear reason.

I would like to have a dialogue about these kinds of topics with him and other feminists that I know, but I feel like they are often times very defensive about their beliefs and view any questions as attacks.

ShitlordAndProud · 2014-09-21T11:26:45+00:00

Do you feel more threatened in the street as a man or a woman?

Wandering_Saint · 2014-09-21T16:48:28+00:00

This is a beautiful post, and I absolutely love it. There is a sense of admiration reading through it, knowing something like this will be read, and you still wrote it anyway. I wish I were that confident!

I do admire you, for you sound like you have attained what I am looking for; confidence, happiness, a significant other, and the clarity of mind to smell bull when it's present! I wish you well, and thanks for inspiring me forward!

2014-09-21T17:05:52+00:00

women outside the states generally care less about height too. (they do, but they aren't obsessed about it)

edit - also how come you get T and I don't? I know I am not low T by my appearance, but I could use some in my 30s when they will come, legally and equitably.

DrTentakelliebe · 2014-12-26T10:23:57+00:00

I have to know you probably won't see this, D, but I hope you find a bio-man before the T renders you infertile. You are a beautiful piece of humanity, and I should you would grace the future that beauty.

kjvlv · 2014-09-20T15:44:39+00:00

do you think that you could have avoided the operations by just going to therapy and being comfortable with who you are? Genetically, you are female. Mentally you are more comfortable with a masculine presentation. Do you think that there is anyway that you could have come to terms with that instead of getting the operation?

Forgive me if this comes off as blunt. I do not mean it to be. I just do not know how to phrase it. I mean no disrespect. It is just that because I have a science background I am curios about the whole terminology. People can not be turned in to the other sex. They are male (XY) or female (XX). After that it is cosmetic. Again, I do not mean ANY disrespect.

m40ofmj · 2014-09-20T21:54:03+00:00

you are just experiencing the reality that every dude over 30 knows is the truth.

IONCEWASBANNED · 2014-09-21T00:20:02+00:00

Also not trying to be an ass here, but is there any sort of mod verification possible for AMAs? I think the regular AMA sub has it. It might be helpful b/c people could say they are speaking from a certain experience but, it being the anonymous internet, be embellishing or misrepresenting or whatever. (Not saying this is the case here, whatsoever, but it happens.)

2014-09-21T17:08:09+00:00

This is the first thing I've read where "cis" didn't seem like some kind of insult.

Don't really have any questions, but congratulations on transitioning and living your life the way you want to.

wazzup987 · 2014-09-21T02:20:26+00:00

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Unenjoyed · 2014-09-20T21:41:24+00:00

You're far too young to have much of a perspective on life no matter the gender.

Your perspective as changing person could be very useful.

Thanks for trying, though. Keep it up.

engineeringiscool · 2014-09-20T20:59:30+00:00

I don't understand your perspective at all.

Men give men much more shit for being "manlets" than women, that's a phrase popularized on bodybuilding.com. Sure, some women don't date men who are shorter than them, because that's their preference! Just like a man does't have to date a woman taller than him, or who is overweight.

Maybe you got $.50 more as a gas station clerk, but men are never admonished for pursuing a STEM career like women are. I've had multiple misogynist professors, most professors are good people but I would say 10% of STEM professors are biased against women in STEM. Women are also far less likely (as well as african americans) to get a job than a white male if they have the same qualifications (there have been studies on this very topic).

As a woman, I was free to be as shitty as I wanted, in personality, as well - in my (very stupid) younger man-hating years, no one was mad, and people even ENCOURAGED me to be a man hater! Now, as a man,

You transitioned at 17, most people do shitty things at the ages of 14-17 and are encouraged to act this way. I think 90% of the student body in my high school used the words "faggot" and "gay". I'm not defending this, I'm just saying teenagers are immature.

I am apparently not even allowed to voice my opinion on women's rights. Doesn't matter that I still have breasts, a vagina, and two X chromosomes - nope. Because I pass as male, I have suddenly lost my ability to understand the plight of poor womenfolk.

Because people don't think you're a woman anymore. I'm sure if you told them of your background, they would be more willing to listen to what you think. In general though, I don't think women want men telling them how to feel about birth control, reproductive rights, catcalling, etc.

Praetor80 · 2014-09-20T21:19:28+00:00

You've lived as a cultural male, but you've always been female.

tedcase · 2014-09-20T12:29:15+00:00

Have you swallowed the red pill?

warspite88 · 2014-09-20T17:36:05+00:00

great article you really need to go back to being a woman if you care about yourself. or get ready for a rough life.

in todays world of misandry, yeah sucks to be a man in many ways. but honestly unless men start standing up for themselves more and caring about each other and themselves more, nothing is going to change and the world is going to steamroll and railroad them until they are dead and take dead mens assets. so men need to start turning the tables and go batshit crazy like a radical feminist on steroids and demand equality and fair treatment. (and i mean MHRM should pull out all the stops and just start being very demanding for their rights, on the streets of protest and on media, start peacefully opting out and disrupting status quo only then will it cost corps and govt money and they will take notice.) right now MHRM is a pimple of the face of cosmo uncle sam, when it becomes an outbreak that is when mr fancy pants uncle sam will take notice and maybe true discussion on rights for men can really take center stage.

my prediction is though, the govt, media, law they will all always try to shame and blame men while saying women are victims. and they would rather start jailing more men or start killing them before they start respecting them and giving them more rights.

JesusSaidSo · 2014-09-21T13:26:46+00:00

[permanently deleted]

I've lived my life as both male and female and have seen how each gender is treated first hand as both: AMA

Background, for those who want some info:

TL;DR - AMA ABOUT BEING A MAN OR WOMAN BECAUSE I'VE BEEN BOTH.

Comments

Title	I've lived my life as both male and female and have seen how each gender is treated first hand as both: AMA
Author	17versus5
Upvotes	679
Comments	391
Date	September 20, 2014 10:52 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/2gxxl0/ive_lived_my_life_as_both_male_and_female_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/ive-lived-my-life-as-both-male-and-female-and-have.995560 https://theredarchive.com/post/995560