Screwed by Courts

KaiserFlash · 2023-04-06T00:36:47+00:00

Stories like these don’t seem real because who the fuck would do something like that to a person. Reality really is stranger than fiction.

wisstinks4 · 2023-04-06T00:08:49+00:00

Another example of a broken judicial system. Why wouldn’t they look at her past 2 yr tax return where she made fucking 250k a yr?? Why? Judges and lawyers in marriage court are idiots. Ruining good men.

Dangerous_Item_6879 · 2023-04-06T00:14:18+00:00

If she makes more than you, then she should be paying you spousal support.

chinnick967 · 2023-04-06T03:12:17+00:00

Been there man, but now I have 50/50. Keep fighting and take it to trial for 50/50 if you have to.

Child support is based off of potential income, so do a Discovery request (Request for Production) to get two years worth of her tax returns and use that to show her actual potential income at trial.

If you fight hard enough and come prepared, many dad's can get 50/50 in their final orders.

NefariousNaz · 2023-04-06T13:46:51+00:00

Reddit insists that divorce courts don't favor women and actually favors men.

None of this makes sense, need to follow up with court and get her tax filings and payroll stubs going back several years in discovery.

You earning less would be the one that should get alimony. If you get 50-50 you probably will also get child support

Toni_Jabroni77 · 2023-04-06T04:15:12+00:00

If that happens to me in my coming divorce I will become homeless and quit working. Or commit a crime to end up in jail. Fuck this world

TransitUX · 2023-04-06T00:09:09+00:00

My gosh, how?

Ok_Heart4798 · 2023-04-06T01:02:33+00:00

And now I just found out her lawyer is also my brother's lawyer in a traffic case and keeps my neice and nephew on a regular basis while hanging out with my sister-in-law. Life is so good

sicrm · 2023-04-06T01:15:35+00:00

unless you have ultimate faith in your lawyer I’d at least start taking consults with other ones.

maybe you’ll find one the judge can at least stand.

WildestWaltz · 2023-04-06T02:49:00+00:00

I'm so sorry for you. This does not feel like justice.

WartimeDad · 2023-04-06T03:39:13+00:00

It’s just insane. My situation was similar. I fought hard and was able to reverse much of it. But the 15-20k that I should not have had to pay, and the lost time with my kid, I’ll never get that back.

notyourmama827 · 2023-04-06T17:08:20+00:00

The legal system sure does go after men in divorce. And if you're a good man, it's really true.

I married someone and for the next 5.5 years I get to have dealings with her. Until baby girl turns 18. 9 years old.

I know a little about the bias toward men.

Positive-Neck-1997 · 2023-04-06T19:22:18+00:00

Holy crap this is insane! I’m sorry this happened to you and I hope you have the energy and resources to undo it. I’ve been in the “pendente lite” phase for 2.5 years and I highly recommend attempting to get things changed ASAP as it will eventually become the end result if it works out well. A few comments, and note this if from my experience in NJ:

1) Pendente Lite orders can be modified any time before the final judgement, so consider filing an appeal to your result or a new motion. The bar for modifying a pendente lite order is much lower than it would be post-judgement and judges have a ton of discretion here. It’s expensive but may be worthwhile.

2) Custody was not specified in my pendente lite order, so my ex used that as a reason to seize control of the custody schedule and call the cops on my when I tried to exercise parenting time. It was ridiculous and it took me over a year to get the judge to specify some custody schedule (she still got 2.5x what I got) and another year to get 50/50, which took a custody evaluation and lots of $$$. I’ll never get back that missed time, but I’m now super happy I did what I needed to get to this result.

3) With all the free time I had due to my ex withholding custody, I used most of it to build an awesome case to show the judge that I’m a great dad and that my ex’s statements to the court were false. I looked at this like a work project and showed tons of data to refute the lies and set the record straight. It was very time consuming, but I do believe it’s important to use as much data available to you to make your case. Don’t expect your lawyer to do this for you - take it into your own hands.

4) For finances, pendente lite should be based on the status quo of the 2-3 years prior to filing for divorce, and I would use data to show that. If she reduced income post complaint that should not matter. Use all the data available to you to document this and set things straight.

Good luck and keep us posted as I’m sure everyone here is rooting for you.

minilabthrow · 2023-04-06T20:57:47+00:00

I'll go through the numbers, but I estimate I paid $150,000 of support post divorce. This for two kids who are now 21 and 23. did they get their college degrees? Fuck no. The oldest is now going into her 7th year of college.
I got emancipated from both of them, my ex can now foot the bill for these adult kids. I'm willing to bet though, she will now start charging the kids rent and telling them they can now finish college on their own.

Flight_Data_187 · 2023-04-06T00:16:02+00:00

You have to be in California. Lol

n00rthman · 2023-04-06T04:06:41+00:00

Let me guess your lawyer is a man and the judge was having a power trip ?

xadmin123 · 2023-04-06T08:25:46+00:00

Man, you make 3000 a month and you have to pay 2000. How do you have enough money for rent/transportation/food?

Accomplished-Toe5220 · 2023-04-06T23:33:23+00:00

I am so sorry. You know you can switch jobs and get up to 6 months before the new employer has to withhold. Praying for you bro. The courts have definitely terminated the idea of marriage and children.

pk2at · 2023-04-06T00:30:27+00:00

Typical feminist court and this is why I caution men that marrying someone rich is no guarantee in divorce

hotrod427 · 2023-04-06T03:37:51+00:00

How the hell can they expect you to pay out 2/3 of your income and live on $1k a month? That's absolutely ridiculous.

Is there a reason why you only get visitation instead of shared custody/placement??

ThrowRAcq4444 · 2023-04-06T01:41:17+00:00

Sucks man, I'm sorry for you. It was the same with me. My wife makes 32k per year more than I do. She cleaned out our checking and savings (55k), was allowed to keep all the money and now I pay her $679 a month in child support for 1 child. Oh yeah, she got the house and over 200k of my 401k too....

2ndChance_1stMistake · 2023-04-06T02:08:32+00:00

I’d be joining the military if I got that judgement.

The military won’t let any court take more than 35% of your base pay.

Remarkable-Potato21 · 2023-04-06T02:53:01+00:00

I want to ask because I've seen so many outcomes across the board. Did it go from a point of not settling in the MSC to the ruling to get to this? I've seen the ridiculous to understanding outcomes but really, how can a temporary judgment even be considered like this? I completely agree the system is twisted. I'm sorry the position/stress this might cause. Is this a temp judgment after a provisional? During separation before MSC? Or seeing a judge to determine provisional? I'm trying not to worry about my MSC, but the ex is not working atm and I'm working ot. We've been separated over a year and I've never been ordered anything or seen any changes or ordered payments. 50/50. I share your settlement, this is bs. I'm curious if this is sahm status quo asking for the moon type situation or what? How can she earn more, have more time and receive most of your income?

Kingcyprus1 · 2023-04-06T10:17:27+00:00

Thank God I didnt get married in the US.

stent00 · 2023-04-06T12:25:53+00:00

Guess you won't be paying 2k a month. Rediculous they could go well over 50% of your income. Like where do they thinkyou are going to live and eat!!! Such a travesty. If I were you I'd get a lawyer to fight this amount. It's not right

rsmiley77 · 2023-04-06T16:20:51+00:00

So this is the judgement while you’re going through the divorce process correct? It’s called pendente lite in Pennsylvania and yes it sucks. Especially if you don’t have your child fifty fifty.

Essentially while you are going through your divorce they’re going to make both households ‘even’. This is based off a formula so there isn’t much room to maneuver here. Your taxes and pay stubs say you make this… their pay stubs and taxes say they make that… mix in formula for where the child is staying… and even potentially add in extra payment for the home too and this is what ‘you’ will owe. On top of this you now have to pay debt in your name. In my case the ex had moved over most debt under my name so I got to pay that…. Yay….

In my opinion this is the toughest part of the divorce process. There’s also motivation for the party being paid to drag out the process because their check at end may not be half of what it is now. You have to be lean while also continuing to pay your attorney. It’s not easy. It’s not permanent though so make sure you fight like heck to get those numbers down for the final judgement.

mattehorn33 · 2023-04-06T18:40:40+00:00

I have seen shitty things like this on temp orders. Judges have unlimited discretion on temp orders but not final orders. I think it may be because of female judge.

Just hang in there. Try to get this to trial as fast as you can. File motions in the interim. I will pray that you will get a better judge for trial.

What's your state?

AirSailer · 2023-04-06T00:46:46+00:00

According to your earlier post you're averaging $200+ per year. Why are you saying you only make $3000/month? Or did you mean that you make $3000/week?

derelictherds · 2023-04-06T16:37:47+00:00

What's the rest of the story here?

upvotersfortruth · 2023-04-06T05:53:37+00:00

Was it an agreed order?

BaldieGoose · 2023-04-06T15:26:07+00:00

Sounds like you don't have a lawyer??

Title	Screwed by Courts
Author	Ok_Heart4798
Upvotes	46
Comments	137
Date	April 6, 2023 12:00 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/12d2ltc/screwed_by_courts/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/screwed-by-courts.1212967 https://theredarchive.com/post/1212967

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