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Zayelle
[–]miss_peach94FDS Newbie 647 points648 points649 points 5 years ago* (22 children) | Copy Link
I'm gonna cut through all the bullshit. He has either:
I've learned the hard way that men do not randomly leave a woman without having another or multiple women lined up
[–]AcadiaLeather5071Ruthless Strategist 400 points401 points402 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
It’s called monkey branching. Monkeys don’t “move on” until they have another branch to hold onto. Otherwise they fall lol. Speaks volumes about how dependent on women’s labour men really are.
[–]barbedwiredaisycrownFDS Newbie 97 points98 points99 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This gave me an epiphany I didn't realize I hadn't had lmao!
[–]Emergency-Feed8216FDS Apprentice 81 points82 points83 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Also psychologically dependent and humiliated by their own infantile dependence, so they mask it and viciously punish the partner they believe has deliberately "unmanned" them via Voodoo alpha brain waves. The ab.use is an attempt to destroy the perceived power the victim partner weilds over the ab.user.
That's the clinical profile of bat.terers and serial adulterers-- "masked dependency." Some are just calculated, callous, shrugging users, but if they're vicious, it's the above. The "masked dependency" type can only move on if they shift their concealed dependence to someone else, usually someone with whom they triangulate to gang up on the victim partner, as well as be assured the partner is too broken and mangled to move on herself.
If the victim partner does move on, the ab.user will often territorially circle back around to hoover, gaslight or terrorize. If the subsequent partner knowingly participated in triangulation, they'll never quite fit the fabulous, pure-hearted mommy figure that ab.users initially idealize and may ultimately be callously discarded.
[–]JerryriggedusernameFDS Newbie 29 points30 points31 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Wow hello my entire experience in working with a women’s domestic violence and family law service. The women try break away from their cheating abusive but dependent men, and it’s a huge vicious circle that’s being reanimated through the court process which keeps them hostage to their ex through having to answer endless claims and filing until a decision is made by a judge, which could be years away given how clogged up the system is. And then there’s the danger of the judge being a right douche.
[–]Emergency-Feed8216FDS Apprentice 13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The runaround victims get in the system is crime in itself.
[–]RabidWenchFDS Disciple 184 points185 points186 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Or he's just a hobosexual who really did just use her for a place to be while he was in school, aka "a shit human being".
As always, the people asking this online know the answer already, they just want someone to soothe their hurt. People on reddit cannot give her what she wants. Sometimes the soothing can only be achieved by boxing up all his shit and dumping it on the curb, finding a good therapist and instituting boundaries so assholes don't take advantage of you.
[–]suckmypussy143FDS Newbie 71 points72 points73 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Lmao people on Reddit are majority LVM they’re probably tell her to “CoMmUnIcAtE tHaT tHiS hUrTs YoU” 🤓 as if that isn’t obvious or maybe they’ll bring in a little variety and ask her what she did to him to cause this in order to find a way to blame her
[–]Revy_Ur_EnginesFDS Newbie 59 points60 points61 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yep. I’ve learned it doesn’t matter if they’re hot af or look like a naked mole rat, they will not leave until they find a replacement. They can’t be alone.
[–]KimpracticalFDS Disciple 53 points54 points55 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yep. I like to pay attention to social media accounts whenever a man is the one to break up with a women. Usually the man is the one who will have a new woman with him in the profile pic within a month, meanwhile the woman who got dumped changed her pic to just her or her with her kids/pets
[–]catsuramenFDS Newbie 46 points47 points48 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
So true.
Men: I'll just take Betty over here until Stacey comes along. Because I can't do anything on my own and needs a mommy bang maid to take care of me. Meanwhile I'll extract as much resources from Betty and discard until I can afford a newer version....oh wait- she's is just like that old 1997 Toyota I run to the ground!
[–]GIfuckingJaneFDS STRATEGY COACH 39 points40 points41 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I know Betty wants kids, but I don't mind taking up her fertile years and stringing her along so I can get some sucky and cooky from her.
[–]freelancepsychicFDS Newbie 87 points88 points89 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They always have backups
[–]even_thrillerFDS Apprentice 47 points48 points49 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Yep. My ex was already talking to his next gf after he dumped me. They always have someone else lined up before they dump you.
[–]palczoFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Mine did that too. He'll do the same thing to his current victim and to each one that is unfortunate enough to come his way throughout his lifetime until he fucking dies.
[–]Lavender_flowFDS STRATEGY COACH 85 points86 points87 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What she is experiencing is the discard phase of a narcisstic relationship.
[–]everythingandloveFDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So typical that a man leaves before the wedding. 🤢 God forbid he should commit when she obviously did!
[–]curlywurlyprincessFDS Newbie 503 points504 points505 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Shit like this always hurts to read. Girls, please stop building up men who don’t give a shit about you. This man used her and now he’ll go find the woman of his dreams. He’s probably been texting another chick already - men don’t leave unless they’ve got another woman secured.
[–]AcadiaLeather5071Ruthless Strategist 212 points213 points214 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
This is exactly why I’m staying single and building my dreams before I even try to date. So many men will just derail you and waste your time. You’ll look back and realise your dreams and spark were stolen. And that everything you sacrificed meant nothing because even he has left you.
[–]catsuramenFDS Newbie 50 points51 points52 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yep. In my 20s, I used to think getting a bf meant I was successful. What a massive waste of time. I could've study abroad, went on ski trips, went to a better grad school, etc. But no, I threw it all away because "my man needs me".
My life isn't bad now; I have a house, PhD, nice job, nice pay. But hello naw am I sacrificing my dreams and disrupting my peace for someone else
[–]PinturaMagnificaFDS Newbie 83 points84 points85 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Amen. Wasted most of my 20s on this. Feels bad. 😕
[–]BBQCoolRanchQueenFDS Apprentice 42 points43 points44 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Same here. I held my NVX's business afloat while he drank himself half to *end. Helped him get into rehab, continued to run his business in addition to my full time job, visited him every day, and he dumped me when he completed his program. Not even a single thank you, not even a dime of pay. Ended up calling me dead weight (That relationshit at least lasted less than a year). Wasted most of my 20's being a pickme and barb the builder. Never again.
[–]PinturaMagnificaFDS Newbie 20 points21 points22 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm so sorry you went through that. Men's lows know no bounds... Never again, sis! 💖
[–]takingbackitallFDS Newbie 26 points27 points28 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Same
[–]Ok-Appearance5982FDS Newbie 11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Same. I’m focusing on my health, dreams and adventures.
[–]MadameDestructionFDS Newbie 199 points200 points201 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
"Is he a shitty person" yes.
[–]seraphinelysionFDS Apprentice 116 points117 points118 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The "am I expecting too much?" part killed me. She's not expecting anything she hasn't already given to him, and she thinks she's not allowed to have that? My heart goes out to this woman.
[–]radsera99FDS Newbie 296 points297 points298 points 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
How is it that men are able to shirk their responsibilities, quit being fathers and husbands simply because they decided they want a change? If a woman did this everyone would scream that she’s a terrible mother
[–]miss_peach94FDS Newbie 234 points235 points236 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
'he is my best friend'
Clearly not
[–]radsera99FDS Newbie 142 points143 points144 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Friends don’t abandon each other but men don’t know the meaning of true friendship and caring relationships
[–]bluebird_wingsFDS Newbie 85 points86 points87 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
He wasn't even her friend.
Friends don't lie to, cheat on, use, or abuse you. They don't try to tear you down in subtle or not so subtle ways.
Friends support you. They cheer for you. They have your back.
Even if a long term relationship was ending because of healthier reasons (not just because the person was done using the other), someone who is truly your friend at the bottom of it all, would make sure you fully understand why it is ending and would do so in a way that remains caring, respectful, and considerate. They would not want you to feel any more confused or hurt than necessary.
One of the major points I walked away with after finally leaving my narcissistic ex and his inexcusably toxic treatment of me: "He wasn't even my friend."
[–]NiBBasBeCrazyFDS Newbie 147 points148 points149 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Right?? I find it appalling that she’s even asking this question.
Men are continuously given the benefit of the doubt.
I also love how they always use the “I’m not happy” excuse. I bet she’s not very happy either with your broke ass, and you don’t see her complaining!
[–]radsera99FDS Newbie 105 points106 points107 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
They always find an excuse and for some reason people are happy with it. If you are capable of leaving your wife and kid simply because you aren’t feeling it anymore, don’t have a fucking kid. Don’t be in a relationship. Stay single and stop ruining women and children’s lives.
Then again, they’ll continue to do whatever they want because they know they’ll get away with it. Again just imagine if a woman did this. She would be crucified.
[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice 65 points66 points67 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Again just imagine if a woman did this. She would be crucified.
We frequently are. It's the manosphere catch-all phrase for when they can't figure out their complicated wives because they don't listen.
"mY wiFe isnT hApPy"
[–]deep_faked_beansFDS Newbie 27 points28 points29 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It's like when a child decides they're bored of their pet, so their mother looks after it. Only a billion times worse.
[–]radsera99FDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Parenting is completely different for men and women. For women it’s for life, men it’s til they’re done with it
[–]betsybassetFDS Newbie 185 points186 points187 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Stop building men. Period.
It's their job to make their future.
You support them mentally sure. But not to the extent of them changing studies & jobs while you bear the brunt of it.
Different story if there's unavoidable circumstances like sickness & pandemic.
Seen this way too many times, men just take us for granted. Sick of it.
[–]Inspection-CriticalFDS Newbie 81 points82 points83 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, in the midst of all this fuckery, this jumped out at me:
several job changes and 2 degree changes
So on top of the disloyalty (and probable cheating), he's also unstable, immature, and NOT a provider. Job & degree changes happen, but multiple ones in 3 years? This guy is a mess. Her life will be so much better once he's gone.
[–]ZurfluFDS Newbie 25 points26 points27 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
This was my first thought: why is he so unstable that he's changing what he does every couple months?!?
[–]Inspection-CriticalFDS Newbie 23 points24 points25 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Because he's a manchild.
Confusion and indecision have become 2 massive red flags for me. Stable people know who they are, what they want, and are consistent (in mood and in work).
That's the best case scenario. Worst case, he's a hardcore fuckup/psycho who's repeatedly getting fired or flunking out of school.
[–]Fit_JuiceFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Tbh I can understand this job hopping, jobs are jobs (figuring stuff out), but it stops being fun and games when you bring two new people into the picture, JOHN. Why did you not do all this discovery channel shit before you started dating, JOHN?
[–]Inspection-CriticalFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I can understand job hopping when you're 25 and don't have your life together yet - but like you said, not when you have 2 other lives depending on you. If a man doesn't have his shit together, he shouldn't be dating let alone engaged.
Even worse if he's older, and we have no idea how old he is. If he's still doing this in his 30s, he's a lost cause.
[–]GIfuckingJaneFDS STRATEGY COACH 17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Its as if you dedicated all your energy to being his scaffolding, while he builds his framework. You organized the workers and made the schedule. Then he takes his big, beautiful cathedral and you are left with nothing but the bill and some broken stones.
[–]frostedgemstoneFDS Newbie 13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Never be the supporting character. Thinking men will reward with loyalty at the end of their personal/professional journey is a fallacy, they literally don’t care. I haven’t personally experienced it but have seen it soooo many times. So miss me with the narrative of women being a ride or die for a man who’s at a low point in his life, I want someone established already
[–]Golden_LavenderFDS Newbie 55 points56 points57 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is the ugly truth about normalizing supporting men financially and pity dating broke, down on their luck dudes. Never date someone that is under you class wise. It sounds mean but it's a protection for yourself against predatory people who take advantage of your financial and emotional resources. The same way men fear gold diggers women should fear hobosexuals.
[–]themissdaydreamerFDS Disciple 160 points161 points162 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
this is what comes to my mind when people tell me I'll never find a man who's "ready" and that I'll have to "build him up". yeah so he'll dump me once I outilve my usefulness?! how about no.
[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice 94 points95 points96 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Who are these women getting the built up men? All I see is trashbags on dating apps back down at rock bottom after being served divorce papers because they suck at relationships.
wait have I cracked the code? They never get good at relationships no matter what we do?
[–]thowawaywookieFDS Newbie 67 points68 points69 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It's a myth they are better for someone else. They're still the same dirt bags.
[–]Inspection-CriticalFDS Newbie 26 points27 points28 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yup. They don't even try to work on themselves, they just find another victim to mooch off of.
[–]GIfuckingJaneFDS STRATEGY COACH 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yup, they just keep getting recycled back into the economy.
[–]imstahPickmeisha™️ 9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
LOL shit, case closed let's wrap it up!
[–]Inspection-CriticalFDS Newbie 56 points57 points58 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It's crazy to me how much society normalizes women building dumpster fire men.
I didn't even realize how much I'd unconsciously absorbed this belief until I found FDS and books like "Why Men Love Bitches."
I thought niceness was an honorable quality that would help me build genuine relationships, but it only caused me misery and heartbreak throughout my dating history.
[–]daisy_0720FDS Disciple 10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I thought niceness was an honorable quality
It is. For female friends and pets.
[–]Melodic_Poet_4998 121 points122 points123 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Men are defending him in the comments. They are basically saying he realized he's unhappy with her and it's his right to move on. If a woman did this they would have called her every name in the book. What a bunch of hypocrites.
[–]suckmypussy143FDS Newbie 71 points72 points73 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Of course they are, this is why women should never listen to men’s advice on anything. They will always say what benefits the male and lowers standards for them. Also yep if a woman did this they would 100% be calling her several degrading names and talking about “female nature” in order to attribute it to an inherent flaw in women but when it’s a man all of a sudden it’s perfectly fine to abandon your family and be a deadbeat because you feel like it 🙄
[–]gfcacdistaFDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Let’s test and compare !
[–]randomgirlimokFDS Apprentice 34 points35 points36 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m guessing he fake proposed to her so he could move in and mooch off her until he didn’t need her anymore. You shouldn’t be proposing to anyone unless you’re 100% sure.
[–]termagant_FDS Newbie 108 points109 points110 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s hard to read her story especially when she doubts herself at the end. Yes, you got used sister. He’s a jerk.
[–]starfighter07FDS Newbie 96 points97 points98 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
The fact that on every post like this, the woman ends it by "I'm expecting too much ?" ............
[–]betsybassetFDS Newbie 44 points45 points46 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I know right. I don't know which one more painful.
Knowing scrotes doing their crimes or watching their victim self doubting themselves 😞
[–]frostedgemstoneFDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Too many women are too nice. I was like that.. until I realized if you don’t assert yourself, no one’s doing it for you. It benefits others (usually men) when women think about everyone except themselves first
[–]lansburysodaFDS Newbie 29 points30 points31 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She feels used because she was used 😔
[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice 76 points77 points78 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
expecting too much?
from a NVM? Yes.
[–]ZayelleFDS Newbie[S] 50 points51 points52 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly!
She is not asking too much. Just from the wrong man 🤷🏻♀️
[–]Inspection-CriticalFDS Newbie 19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This cannot be emphasized enough. It puts the onus of the bad behavior where it belongs (back on the offender).
[–]kalina95FDS Newbie 26 points27 points28 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Where are the men claiming alimony ruins the lives of men?
[–]AlextheAnalystFDS Newbie 72 points73 points74 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
As usual, children get dumped like day-old trash. This guy never deserved a family.
[–]janeaustenfan99FDS Newbie 23 points24 points25 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What makes this so much worse is the children being harmed.
[–]Fuckdoesithurt956FDS Newbie 52 points53 points54 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I would not be surprised if he picked her because she was a single mother so he knew she'd take care of him whilst he got his shit together.
[–]kinkardineFDS Newbie 70 points71 points72 points 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Oh gosh! I dodged a bullet once at the beginning of my solo mom date days! Reddit saved me that night, my hobo sexual would be bf just created a delusional crisis and shifted all his stuff in my 400sqft apartment where I was living with my student grant. My kid was super sick that night and all he asked about my kid is ‘did he puke on the blanket and pillow I will be sleeping on?’, I just did not want to throw him on street in the middle of the night so asked Reddit for opinion, and all the people who replied on the post that night saved me from a catastrophe. I let him stay the night, he went to work early next morning, when he came back I made him a nice cake and croissant sandwich, and gently but firmly told him I am breaking up and his stuff needs to go with him:/
Be weary of single man with no family and friends to fall back on. They pick on solo moms cause they basically need a mom.
[–]randowordgeneratorFDS Newbie 22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I thought they had a child together, but if that's not his child I guess that's good. She doesn't have to deal with that one.
[–]Fuckdoesithurt956FDS Newbie 16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
She says "my son" not "our son" so I assumed the son wasn't his.
[–]Inspection-CriticalFDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I noticed that subtle distinction too and was immediately like: "THANK GOD!"
[–]DameSorciereThrowaway Account 50 points51 points52 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ha, and red pillers say women are the hypergamists. All of their bullshit about women is projection iswtfg. Everything u/miss_peach94 said in her comment here is also shit redpillers project onto women. Ugh 🤮
[–]randowordgeneratorFDS Newbie 33 points34 points35 points 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
This reminds me of another subreddit where they are indirectly talking about FDS. The claim is that women get as much out of sex as men (like they would know). Then go on to ask, why can't I get a girlfriend/wife(!) without having to do anything? Women having standards to vet men, why that's the same as prostitution. Then the repulsive slogans - you don't pay her to come, you pay her to leave. They answer their own question. They just want sex without repsonsibility, since they think sex for women is exactly the same as sex for men. Which is a lie they tell themselves.
[–]ZurfluFDS Newbie 23 points24 points25 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I've seen that claim too- that women get just as much out of sex as men do so it's ridiculous for women to not have sex with them or to expect something from the man first. And if you disagree you must be having really boring vanilla sex 🤪
Let's assume that is true. Where can I go to buy safe sex from hot men who won't stalk me afterwards? That market must exist, right? Since women are just as into sex as men? 🙄
[–]greenbagmariaFDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Who’s the real gold digger now
[–]millennialpink2000FDS Apprentice 28 points29 points30 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What a prince. Pumped and dumped a single mom for his own benefit, then cuts and runs without another thought.
I hope the comments tell her he did use her and she should run for the hills
[–]deep_faked_beansFDS Newbie 27 points28 points29 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I wonder how many women have thought the same thing, that they'd be happier on their own not doing all the housework as well as working a paid job, but just never got the luxury of leaving whenever they want. Deciding to have kids is a much more permanent decision for women than men, I think this is privilege men have.
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
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[–]gfcacdistaFDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]randomgirlimokFDS Apprentice 34 points35 points36 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]termagant_FDS Newbie 108 points109 points110 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]starfighter07FDS Newbie 96 points97 points98 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]betsybassetFDS Newbie 44 points45 points46 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]frostedgemstoneFDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]lansburysodaFDS Newbie 29 points30 points31 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice 76 points77 points78 points
(2 children) | Copy Link
[–]ZayelleFDS Newbie[S] 50 points51 points52 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Inspection-CriticalFDS Newbie 19 points20 points21 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]kalina95FDS Newbie 26 points27 points28 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AlextheAnalystFDS Newbie 72 points73 points74 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]janeaustenfan99FDS Newbie 23 points24 points25 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Fuckdoesithurt956FDS Newbie 52 points53 points54 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]kinkardineFDS Newbie 70 points71 points72 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]randowordgeneratorFDS Newbie 22 points23 points24 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Fuckdoesithurt956FDS Newbie 16 points17 points18 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Inspection-CriticalFDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DameSorciereThrowaway Account 50 points51 points52 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]randowordgeneratorFDS Newbie 33 points34 points35 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ZurfluFDS Newbie 23 points24 points25 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]greenbagmariaFDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]millennialpink2000FDS Apprentice 28 points29 points30 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]deep_faked_beansFDS Newbie 27 points28 points29 points (1 child) | Copy Link