I can't read relationship subreddits anymore...

runawayfast999 · 2020-10-09T20:38:22+00:00

I’m totally with you. I had to leave those groups because the answer seems so obvious. Staring at them in the face.

This guy I know said it best: I’m happy to make compromises but not sacrifices. If anything makes you uncomfortable, in your body, in your gut, in your heart, that’s a sacrifice, in my mind.

These guys don’t sacrifice their well-being. Don’t sacrifice yours.

chateauduchat · 2020-10-09T21:18:26+00:00

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flower_vs_mower · 2020-10-09T21:20:25+00:00

The love language comments makes my blood boil every time.."Maybe his love language is touch and that's why he fucks you but can't say I love you after 2 years and living together". Yeah right, how about the love language of ACTUAL decent behavior? I'm sure there is some (limited!) truth to the love languages stuff, but whoever came up with this is just delivering another convenient excuse for why men are not putting in the necessary effort, because "gifts are not my love language, honey" 🤮

just_takin_the_d · 2020-10-09T20:58:16+00:00

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RiasXgremoryX · 2020-10-09T20:28:43+00:00

Then they call anyone who gives the best advice(which is leaving) "divorce happy, miserable or JeAlOus" and downvote them to hell.

The relationship subreddits get my blood pressure up and I cant stand it when they sit there in a SEA of red flags, ask for advice then choose to ignore it because they don't want to be alone or they desperately don't want to believe their "Prince Charming" doesn't give a fuck about them and it damages their ego.

gogetawaythrowitaway · 2020-10-09T21:51:14+00:00

Yep, love how posts like that always jump to the men's mental health like 'oh he might be StRuGgLiNg' but wtf what about the gf who has to put up and shut up 99% of the time, is probably depressed and feels worthless? Why is mental health only an 'excuse' for men?? Probably cause when a woman's struggling mentally she's just q 'crazy woman' or 'over emotional'. But when a man's an asshole its all 'WHAT ABOUT HIS MENTAL HEALLLTHHH'. No one ever questions the woman's mental health and its disgusting.

Just the other day I saw an article about some guy bullying women on tinder and it got shared online, resulting in him losing his job. The comments were like 'omg but he might have really bad mental health and firing him will be so bad' also victim blaming, shaming the women for 'getting him sacked'. Um, no. His shitty actions got him sacked when they got shared and his employer saw them. Also surprise surprise no word for the effect on the mental health of TWENTY or so women! That HE might've inflicted.

TERVENCORRUPTOR9000 · 2020-10-09T21:56:36+00:00

Omg, you're dead on about the replies. If I had a dollar for every time "lOvE LaNguAgeS" are mentioned as a panaceum for a shitty, zero effort boyfriend ("his is probably pHySicAL tOucH!!!!11"), my ass would be set for life.

Adawritesrules · 2020-10-10T02:39:37+00:00

Gaslit woman: Also I found that he accessed child porn on my work laptop while I was grocery shopping for our food alone.

Audience: why did you invade his privacy though?

Gaslit woman: but he opened the child porn on my work laptop. I was just logging on to work

Audience: Shut up you snooping whore. You are insecure and crazy and controlling. It’s ok to find others attractive, it’s normal.

Samvanderkamp123 · 2020-10-09T21:05:54+00:00

The dog! There’s always a huge dog that he gets and forgets.

Mountain_Nectarine_6 · 2020-10-09T20:40:34+00:00

The Edit and smiley face at the end 😂

chefs kiss

LadyGrimes · 2020-10-09T21:36:20+00:00

LOL yeah reading those posts gives me nothing but a headache anymore. THEY know what the issue is they just don't want to leave the relationship.

thinktwiceorelse · 2020-10-09T22:36:30+00:00

I sometimes wonder what sweet and loving even means? He'd pat her on the head once a month? Or what is it?

MakeURegret · 2020-10-09T22:21:11+00:00

It always either maybe he has depression or ADHD.

Very big lack of these arm chair diagnoses being applied to women!

I also always see people outside those subs saying “omg don’t trust r/relationships they just tell you to break up” like yeah if people are getting to the point where they need objective strangers to weigh in on their relationship high chance they shouldn’t be together at all.

It’s definitely painful to see the ones who don’t get it. But it’s nice to see the ones that finally open their eyes.

ekkokekekko · 2020-10-10T02:25:40+00:00

This is dead on. I don't frequent those subs anymore either, each one is full of replies pressuring the woman to work harder at solving problems she didn't create 🙄

The thing that's starting to freak me out is listening to my friends talk about their relationship problems. I just sit there biting my tongue thinking, "BREAK. UP. WITH. YOUR. MANBABY."

Asopaso07 · 2020-10-09T23:49:59+00:00

I swear to God I did not realise this was tongue in cheek until I came close to the end... I'm so used to reading this kind of shit. TRAGIC! lol

Sleepymelmo · 2020-10-10T03:51:11+00:00

I read the anime one.. this guy can only enjoy sex with her using an anime filter and everyone in the comments is mostly concerned about kink shaming... what the fuck is wrong with these women?? I knew better than to comment.. I would gotten all kinds of hate for pointing out how fucked up that is. It’s seriously sad what women are conditioned to accept from men and how eager they are to accept it, as if expecting to be treated with humanity is just a lost cause at this point.

2020-10-10T02:01:47+00:00

I am very grateful I am not that person anymore. I almost feel I was mentally ill during that time in my life. It’s absolutely crazy to me. I hear my friend say stuff and read this pick me stuff and I think they are absolutely psycho. To me this is as crazy as LVM logic. I don’t know what was wrong with me but I am just grateful I am not that way anymore. My heart goes out to people like this but I just can’t relate at all anymore or even understand it.

suncolor · 2020-10-10T00:43:06+00:00

I do not frequent those types of subreddits as much as I did when I first joined Reddit. At first I was amused but quickly grew tired of the negativity and toxicity of the posts. The upside of Reddit is all of these thoughts and opinions I would not otherwise encounter at my fingertips but the downside is the same. Unfollowing those subs has definitely made my time here more enjoyable and keeps me in a less jaded mental space.

Relationship subs are indeed the worst though. The number one complaint I see is people getting tiffed that so many suggest breaking up. The (relation)ship is literally on fire and taking in water — what more can people truly suggest for 95% of those posts? But no, maybe try couple’s counseling, indeed. 🙄

gabbywith_awhy · 2020-10-10T04:15:30+00:00

Every time I get on there it never fails to amaze me. They really sit there and type a 5 page essay explaining all the red flags, then conclude it with “Any advice on what should I do?” Like c’monnnnn you already knew what you should do the moment you decided to ask that question😂

EffectiveHoneydew422 · 2020-10-10T02:25:19+00:00

Im Am LAuging OUt loud!

You are right that all the FAIL relationships are the same its a fucking trope now.

All LVM may as well be robots/clones/Ai - And all the pick mes probably have a different threshold breaking point, lets hope 2020 is there wake up year!

The biggest learning point for my whole life is; you can't change somebody!

Even if you could, it would be so unsatisfying that you had to do all the work and hold their hand the whole way, and train them into being a passable acceptable consciousness human.

All humans have the potential and ability to change themselves for the better, and if you had to do the work for someone else it wouldn't be worth it. ie no pay off. just exhaustion and no thanks for it. Lets step away, and let men up-level themselves.

hail_galaxar · 2020-10-10T02:47:00+00:00

Sorry, but I can’t not say this. People that co-habitate before marriage are twice as likely to divorce.

redfarmmmmm · 2020-10-10T03:07:22+00:00

When i first read relationship posts on reddit i was shocked.

I read relationship posts back in my country but women in general had more sanity and common sense. But i feel like girls on the relationship posts here in the US (i assume) are straightup dumb. I’m sorry but she is.

Like why would you date someone with such a big age gap?

I honestly dont get dating multiple people like open relationships which includes sex and paying half of the mortgage.

Where are her parents? Doesnt anyone tell her common sense?

I used to get triggered as those posters dont have literally ZERO common sense. And good ol’ advice of go to therpy... i wonder how someone with zero common sense will apprehend therapy from psychiatrist.

My east asian friends always told me american girls seem very progressive and sexually liberating but at the same time DUMB... and honestly i dont have many dumb friends at least in nyc but when i read posts on those subreddits, i understand why.

I thought western women were less submissive and more progressive and speak their minds. But when i moved to the states i realized its all been prejudice. Anyways, i read a post of asian female OP who went on a text book negger who was CEO and she just sat there doing nothing. It makes me so mad.

Do something rather than uploading how hurt you were.

And honestly most guys mentioned on that subreddit should either get arrested or filed for lawsuit. Thats why i dont deal with north american men.

Fuck communicating. Rather than spending $ on therapist, file a lawsuit and consult with your lawyer.
Dont date guys whos much older than you who is poor. If he is older, he should at least give you something.
Honestly, just avoid most american-caucasian guy. The entitlement is appalling. And honestly out of all caucasian guys i’ve met US guys were the ugliest due to their workout consisting mostly at gym and gmo foods.
If a guy negs you, you bring up his Achilles spot; his abusive past or his ex cheating anything that hurts him.

tellmesomething11 · 2020-10-10T01:18:33+00:00

Same. It was always depressing but after FDS, I cannot read that trash anymore.

jayohday · 2020-10-10T01:26:13+00:00

The only relationship subreddit I come to is this one! For exactly this reason. I am afraid if I keep reading the others, and rolling my eyes that much, they just gone stay in the back of my head.

2020-10-10T00:07:38+00:00

This is a work of art.... this reads like a real post, especially the comments

2020-10-10T02:13:15+00:00

This was so spot on it hurts every fiber of my being lol. I hate when people complain about the advice of leaving. Whu shouldn't they leave? If somethings not working, there's no fucking point in staying. Run Forrest! Run!

ChristmasPriestess · 2020-10-10T03:53:20+00:00

This is so spot on its painful

Adawritesrules · 2020-10-10T02:38:32+00:00

I can’t read this without laughing and it’s so true too.

CynicalSucculent · 2020-10-10T03:47:14+00:00

Sooooo accurate. Lmao

yfunk3 · 2020-10-10T08:04:18+00:00

I've already unsubscribed from DatingOver30 and a number of other dating subs once I stopped dating. It was just a shitshow of "What did I do wrong?" from the women, and I just got so mentally drained and bogged down.

huevos_and_whiskey · 2020-10-10T13:21:14+00:00

Because the “sweet” and “wonderful” stuff about him is just talk. He’s paying lip service. OP needs to wake up and see this for what it really is, until his words mean as little to her as they do to him.

So many of these relationship problems are because the guy is saying one thing and doing another.

WestAtmosphere · 2020-10-10T02:52:07+00:00

Literally was arguing with men (obviously it was men) on relationship reddit the other day. The girl was concerned she went on a date with a guy who follows 4000 people on instagram NOTE 90% of the accounts she said were porno/lewd accounts. His family/friends can full out see who he follows and he has no shame obviously.

Many of us told her this is a red flag, obviously it is if she brought it up, doesn’t matter if he paid for her meal. If she’s bringing it up it will become a problem. Here comes the men trying to tear down our arguments that she should just drop this dude. COMMUNICATE with him they say before ditching. Lmao they couldn’t get the concept that this was so red flag porn sicko. Like do they really think this guy is going to unfollow 4k accounts for this girl?

I tried sending her a message linking her to here, telling her its not normal behaviour. Even if you pretend its ok, eventually it will cause issues. Huge deal breaker. It’s even worse its a public account. Still you have these other dudes defending it 😂. I’m sure it hits a sore spot seeing so many others saying its a huge red flag and weird behaviour no matter if the guy was “nice”.

shibshibmunchnomnom · 2020-10-10T03:31:39+00:00

As someone who was like this, this hurts like hell to read

4ellights · 2020-10-11T06:19:50+00:00

I just want to comment, "If you have to make a reddit post about it, you should probably leave him". 🙄

LeyMio · 2020-10-12T06:15:40+00:00

This is so accurate and hilarious. If this post was on any of the relationship subreddits, I have no doubt it would receive massive downvotes and get deleted in no time just for calling out the truth.

Title	I can't read relationship subreddits anymore...
Author	mangogreentea_
Upvotes	673
Comments	82
Date	October 9, 2020 7:26 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/j85itr/i_cant_read_relationship_subreddits_anymore/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-cant-read-relationship-subreddits-anymore.309811 https://theredarchive.com/post/309811

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