Pickmes contributing to the idea that women should be low maintenance

jijitsu-princess · 2022-02-20T14:01:06+00:00

Trying to be a cool girl gets you nothing. No help with the baby, housework or finances. Oh and absolutely miserable.

Ask me how I know.

meninadalua · 2022-02-20T15:49:51+00:00

It’s always the girls who don’t get anything from their partners who go out of their way to let you know they don’t like anything. Like sweetie you weren’t going to get it even if you wanted.

warinmymind94 · 2022-02-20T05:13:56+00:00

I've been thrift shopping a lot lately and have been treating myself to a McDonald's coffee when out and about lately too and I've noticed that there are so many young, beautiful women on dates with fugly obnoxious scrotes at the mcdonalds and the thrift shop! These are not real dates. The women are almost always initiating the awkward trying to get to know each other convos and dressed up and they both seem so nervous.

And yeah If there's a guy doing anything thats the bare minimum for a woman, pickmes come out of the woodwork with the huge cope "I didn't need flowers or a restaurant for my birthday though we just chilled you don't need all that" trying to further gaslight us. Pickmes are the biggest weapon on msyogyny.

That's why pickme friends drag you down. Ask me how I know. I was literally being cheated on and abused and my pickme friends at the time told me I was "jealous" and "all men look and it's normal" even when I found her hair and underwear in his bed... they tried to tell me something goy mixed in at the laundromat and I was nuts...

queen_azulaa · 2022-02-20T03:15:45+00:00

I follow a very sobering mother's page (even if Im not a mother) where they just vent and vent and vent. Miserable unhappy lives. And majority of these posts were traced to the sex-posi lib-fem ideology of "you can have it all. Youre independent. Why bother marrying a grown man. Youre strong. You can mother him too!"

Women who got accidentally pregnant and are now stuck in a very terrible marriage. Women who are tricked and baby trapped and are now bangmaids of their abusive husbands. Women who are grateful their husband manages to survive on his own w/o hurting the baby bcs the bar is in hell. Women who are full time mothers but also full times workers but are very very shitty bcs how could they not have time for their kids!?

It wasnt like this years ago. So yeah shout out to the pickmes. Youve ruined it for all of us.

Edit bcs I guess I need to state the obvious 🙄: No I am not encouraging the trad wife please husband let me kiss your feet narrative. What Im stating is the current pickme landscape has destroyed the progress many women before us made by playing both trad wife and a libfem sex-posi roles, neither of which are truly beneficial to women.

daisy_0720 · 2022-02-20T07:30:06+00:00

All the women in my office were talking about how they didn't want anything for Valentine's Day last week. My observation that my last boyfriend booked a table at my favorite Argentine restaurant for dinner a month in advance and turned up on my doorstep with a dozen red roses (literal bare minimum!!) was met with awkward silence, lol.

mothertuna · 2022-02-20T13:40:11+00:00

I see this trend continuing. What annoys me about it is that people act like you can only be high or low maintenance. It ignores the nuances of how a human being truly is.

If you’re ok with McDonald’s dates and no flowers, good for you. I like McDonald’s and I like gifts to wtf. I’d wish I could say these are younger people only saying this but there’s plenty women who are older that do as well.

I thought we left the Not Like Other Girls shit like 10 years ago but I guess not. People thinking it’s ok to not want more when it absolutely is.

I_know_right_AS_IF · 2022-02-20T14:52:41+00:00

I love Christmas music, and I noticed this past Christmas that there's a good amount of songs about not wanting presents or anything under the tree, or diamonds and jewelry...I just want youuuu 🙄

Miss me with that and get me the damn presents

elainejay82 · 2022-02-20T02:13:56+00:00

Liberal feminism hath brainwashed the masses.

When I was first spit back out into dating at 28, I thought 50/50 was the way to go. 🤣

And I generally have been focused on feminism since my teens. That's how well this shit works. For me, it was more about proving that I could "hold my own" than anything and that I was tough enough to handle myself.

I think that's where 50/50, etc. can get a lot of us. We should always be able to handle ourselves anyway, but a man should be a treat and a plus to the lives we already have under control.

Jaelismyhomegirl · 2022-02-20T03:59:59+00:00

“Oh, your man got you a nice engagement ring and proposed on a nice date? Well, good thing i’m not a materialistic bitch like you are, haha! Guess i’m just better than all those other girls because i’m so quirky. And cool. And fun. I don’t need a fancy ring at a nice restaurant, I only need a ring pop at McDonald’s! My boyfriend knows that I would never expect him to spend money on me. In fact, I’m taking him out to dinner tonight. Well, i’m ordering grubhub for us, because he wanted to keep playing video games, haha! But that’s fine, coz I like video games! I know, right? I’m the only girl in the world who likes video games! So quirky! I mean, sure he doesn’t ever want to play any games that i like… or even let me play at all… But that’s fine, because he has other good qualities! Like he’s SO FUNNY! The other day, there was an interview with this big-time female game developer, and he yelled at the screen ‘Shut up whore, i’m gonna rape u.’ So funny, right? Haha…

You know, i don’t even want to get married. I don’t need a ring to know my man loves me. Marriage is an archaic patriarchal institution, anyway. And sexism just doesn’t exist any more! In fact, i’m the primary bread winner in this couple! I go to work, i pay rent, and he stays home! How’s that for progressive? And he cooks! The other day he heated up some ramen for dinner for both of us! And then, while i was cleaning up the kitchen (it’s only fair, since he made dinner), he asked if that was what i meant when i said i wanted him to contribute more—see? Communication is the key to a happy relationship, not tokens of affection!

And our relationship is super happy. Why else would i be in the comment section of your engagement announcement video, telling you about why i think your standards are too high? Welp, i’m going to spend time with my AMAZING BOYFRIEND, now that he’s done masturbating to underage cartoon characters—it’s perfectly normal, every man does it, HAHA!”

geoffersonstarship · 2022-02-20T05:49:00+00:00

that kinda shit is for high schoolers with no money

Colour_riot · 2022-02-20T10:02:57+00:00

Somehow (or deliberately?), retail associated the rising spending power with women the stupid sex posi movement.

You'll see these hipster insta brands (I think it was Realisation), or some fitness / illustrator blogger like blogilates (hate to say this because I really like her other content), push this stupid "take the first move / ask him out, blah blah blah" to look radical or hip or whatever.

Like, I'm really glad that in this era, I don't have to marry a man to have enough to eat, but how on earth does that translate into wanting to feed an ugly scrote and birth his spawn for free?

Inspection-Critical · 2022-02-20T17:06:46+00:00

Pickmes are everywhere but I think the reactions you get to proper courtship really depend on the particular audience. If a pickme bragged about being low maintenance around my friends and family, we'd all feel embarrassed for her.

Yes, the men too. Even LVM who don't have their lives together know we should be properly courted, they just won't tell you that because they need women to stay cheap otherwise they can't afford a girlfriend. LVM have told me this. When they hear you're low maintenance, they immediately lose respect for you but they'll still waste your time because they like easy.

My brother-in-law took offense when someone in our family (who reaaaaally wanted grandkids) suggested he didn't have to wait for marriage to have children. BIL said no, he was doing things the right way, thank you very much.

He'd just lost his job that week. He found another job within days, took a 2nd job on top of that, worked his tail off to afford a ring, then proposed properly.

Men know. People know. Even low value assholes know, they'll just lie and tell you otherwise so they can get you cheaply.

edelbiatch · 2022-02-20T10:20:38+00:00

I've seen a female influencer brag about getting married at McDonalds. I think even the underpaid staff there felt sorry for them and asked them why they decided to do that. They are really proud of setting the bar lower and lower.

notyourcheapthrill · 2022-02-20T13:00:35+00:00

So a load of crap all this is! And guess what same women then start envying you if you get a high caliber man spending money on you.

Truth be told these women give all kinds of losers hope so they start approaching every attractive woman thinking they deserve a chance. So freaking exhausting!

Happened to me so many times! Some losers without any degree, no house, no car thinking they have a chance to get me in bed lol! While I am graduating this year from a good university which will land me a good paying job. So many delusional men out there!

SupremeDearLeader · 2022-02-20T19:16:06+00:00

Dating a man would be charity work at this point.

HappyCoconutty · 2022-02-20T14:15:25+00:00

I went thru a really frugal period while I was trying to strive for a bigger savings account and retire early. My then boyfriend and I started talking about getting engaged and wedding planning. I guess I had some pickme tendencies still because I wanted to be less of a burden and wanted a low cost ring, a court house ceremony with a small 20-30 person dinner at a restaurant. It was different, it felt more private and I wouldn’t have to feel bad about living up to other ridiculous wedding standards.

He said no, he wanted to do it right, that the ring is forever and that even if I looked at a lesser ring fondly, he wanted it to feel legitimate to my parents and family and himself. That he felt the ring was a reflection of what he could provide for me. He told me to pin whatever rings I liked on a Pinterest board. He then took all those pics, went to a jewelry designer and custom designed one with a huge solitaire.

He wanted to include his childhood friends’ parents, our friends from college, my cousins from across the pond, etc to the wedding to celebrate our love and he took care of it. It made me realize that I was shooting too low out of fear but also that my husband valued his larger social network (not virtual, he is hardly on social media) and sense of duty to people who loved him. That he was well liked for a reason. By the end of our wedding and subsequent day after brunch, he had formed permanent relationships with my side of the guest list that he still maintains till this day. I’m so glad he insisted on doing things well and that he had the money saved up to do it.

VesperLynd- · 2022-02-20T04:06:44+00:00

It’s a cope. They suffer from a lot of internalized misogyny. By saying they’re „not like those other women“ they try to elevate themselves and their self esteem in front of their oppressors. It’s a try at being „one of the good ones“ so they get treated a bit better, get a slightly longer leash from their owners. It’s sad and makes me angry. We should call it out everytime until they get it but I do feel a bit bad for them

radfem_babe · 2022-02-20T05:49:06+00:00

I don't think the trend will ever end. However, I believe FDS and FDS like principles are developing a cult following, especially on Tik Tok. Gen Z is starting to wise up.

I know that LVM exist everywhere, but this pick me trend feels very American. I don't think this happens to the same extent in other countries.

Think of places like the Eastern Europe, the Mediterranean etc Women would never be expected to pay there. At least the majority wouldn't.

Also we damn well know these pick me's are liars and filled with envy when they see women being spoiled and pampered by men.

MeanWhatISay · 2022-02-20T21:03:58+00:00

THIS. So much this post. This is why Red pill has thrived for the last decade - because of the existence of pickmes. If certain women stopped trying to pander to the male ego in return for crumbles, most men would very quickly sober up to the fact that virtually all normal women need to see effort/investment to feel loved, and to feel safe enough to give love. But as long as pickmes exist, the manosphere continues in its self-delusion of thinking they can manipulate women into a loving relationship.

unbelyevable · 2022-02-20T17:54:26+00:00

Im starting to believe the only correct 50/50 is how chivalry is dying. 50 = lazy a$$ NV/LVM murder it; 50 = pickmeisha bullshyt buries it. 🤷🏼‍♀️💁🏼‍♀️

Edited to make an addition.

No-Village-3946 · 2022-02-20T04:07:26+00:00

True, pickmes jeopardize our cause by cementing the false notion that men are the prize. The sad thing is that despite all the free and unreciprocated lobbying they do on behalf of "treating men like kings" or "50/50," men view them as doormats and don't respect them. They just hype them up so they extract services from them. Deep down, men don't believe that a woman of quality would be willing to receive the bare minimum (if that!) from a man. It's this lose/lose situation (for women) where men will gravitate towards you if you're low maintenance because he gets all his needs met for little to no effort on his part BUT you won't ever be the woman he really wants. The woman men covet is "high maintenance," because that challenges and excites a man, so he deems her as being a "higher quality woman" by the simple fact that she's not impressed with him. Still, if he never wins her over, he will resent her for being an uppity bitch, because at some point he will feel entitled to her for all the "work" he's putting in. On the other hand, if he does manage to win her over, then she becomes just another woman to him. The chase is over, the mystery disappears, there are no more challenges to overcome and he will take her for granted.

bullshitextinguisher · 2022-02-20T13:15:16+00:00

Don’t wait to GET picked, BE picked by yourself, over and over again.

Cheybo111 · 2022-02-20T19:08:53+00:00

I’ve been married for 13 years, together for 15. We were 22/23 when we met. Even at that age, my DH knew he needed to ask me out, pay for dinner, make the plans, pick me up, etc. He asked me to marry him after six months of dating with a beautiful ring. He asked my family for their blessing beforehand. We had a gorgeous wedding and a honeymoon in Europe. Then we got pregnant and had our daughter. It was the normal thing to do, and considered the right way to do things, even such a short time ago and for people as young as we were. I don’t understand why it’s changed so much but I do think it’s total bullshit. And as a side note, we both worked full-time and made the same amount of money during that time. And no, we didn’t go 50/50.🙄🙄

howlsmovingcactus · 2022-02-20T02:40:28+00:00

They're rationalizing their lack and their low-effort men. Plain and simple.

Unfortunately, their bullshit gives LVM and NVM more of a podium to stand on when they accuse women of being divas and spoiled queens for wanting what was once just considered normal: Men who don't enjoy being emasculated by having women take them out; and men who see an engagement ring and proposing as a once-in-a-lifetime experience that deserves the financial investment.

little_nerdmaid · 2022-02-20T03:25:34+00:00

my absolute favorite is when they say “he could propose with a ring pop and i’d be happy!” okay, girl. keep telling yourself that.

i think in a world where women are constantly fed the message that we aren’t complete without a husband, there will always be women insisting they don’t require much so that some man who has no intention of giving/doing much will snatch them up and they don’t have to be single.

it’s unfortunate, and it does absolutely nothing to benefit them, and i hope their relationships work out for their sake, but i do wish women would stop with that shit. he’s asking you to be a home maker and put yourself at risk to carry his children, the least he could do is meet your high demands. you’re benefiting no one but him by being that low maintenance girl, it’s nothing to brag about.

aziza7 · 2022-02-20T18:20:23+00:00

This is definitely a thing. Sometimes someone will ask if I'm high maintenance. I tell them that I am the exact appropriate level of maintenance.

Patient-Pineapple-29 · 2022-02-20T20:05:50+00:00

The ringpop and McDonald's combo is what makes this an actual 🤡🤡🤡. Because I get that both you and your man's finances might be tight at the time but any man that values you enough will at least get you a nice looking metal ring with a cheap stone in the middle. If he can't afford dinner at an expensive restaurant he will just turn his living room into a restaurant for that day. It is ok for him to not hire violinists, he can at least blast some ambient music from his phone as background music. If he can't afford he can always try but these girls know deep down that their LVM could never so they feel less of a fool by claiming they are OK with some dumb plastic ring for kids and chicken nuggets. Please please please realise your worth, if you don't and marry these leeches they won't care for you or your future kids from him and some miseries are just preventable 🥺

feelingcoolblue · 2022-02-20T22:17:33+00:00

What is the point of dating when you're sooooo low maintence. Relationships are all about maintenance. They can delude themselves, but they can't delude me!

I find it funny how all of the "dream girls" of history are women who are VERY high maintence. Not a coincidence. People respect people who respect themselves and people who respect themselves carry on.

Title	Pickmes contributing to the idea that women should be low maintenance
Author	frostedgemstone
Upvotes	922
Comments	85
Date	February 20, 2022 2:08 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/swq48m/pickmes_contributing_to_the_idea_that_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/pickmes-contributing-to-the-idea-that-women-should.1103959 https://theredarchive.com/post/1103959

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