This was the second time he had talked to me this way while drunk and angry. THIS is when you leave ladies. Like my last post said, leave the first time.

localgirlcult · 2020-12-01T20:56:09+00:00

Are you really leaving him?

Listen to me, you need to run from alcoholics. His drinking will consume your entire soul. You will never have a guaranteed peaceful day.

Bubbly-Manufacturer · 2020-12-01T20:37:50+00:00

Yeah they just say “sorry” “I was mad.” I was stalked and harassed daily for 3 months. After he was finally done (after i got the police involved 3 times) he said “sorry I was mad.”

ASeaOfQuotes · 2020-12-01T20:40:02+00:00

I really hope you’re leaving this time. Even at my angriest I can’t imagine speaking that way to someone I love. You deserve better.

victoriaairotciv · 2020-12-01T22:24:46+00:00

Get the divorce papers ready? Yeah girl, get them ready, you need to run far far away from that crazy alcoholic and never look back!

Heavy drinking men scare me so much. They always resort to emotional or even physical violence. Never date a heavy drinker, ever. PERIOD.

Thejasminedragon1215 · 2020-12-01T22:44:38+00:00

Jesus fucking christ. If you havent already left him, just be aware things are gonna get more abusive the longer you stay. LEAVE HIM IMMEDIATELY. RESPECT YOURSELF, EVEN IF HE DOESNT. HE IS GARBAGE.

shoo_coworker · 2020-12-01T20:37:01+00:00

I used to have depression and anxiety, and I have never sent messages like those 🤔 good thing you left his disrespectful volatile ass!!

whokilledhydra · 2020-12-01T20:42:31+00:00

I'm so proud of you. It's not easy to leave, but this behavior will only escalate. Physical violence begins with emotional/verbal violence.

EclecticBarbarella · 2020-12-01T20:44:26+00:00

This is why I don’t date men that drink anymore. Even if they’re usually a happy drunk, they’re still a drunk. I’m so sorry he talked to you like that, no one deserves that

tallwomenneedlovetoo · 2020-12-01T21:45:35+00:00

Military men are already highly sus on account of the culture in the barracks and when they’re deployed. Couple that with the r*pe and abuse doled out to the enlisted women and it’s despicable. Throuple that with drinking and you’ve got a powder keg just waiting to explode. According to a VA study, approximately 22% of active duty service members perpetrated some form of intimate partner violence in just the single year they studied. That’s more than 1/5. And that’s just what’s reported. And honestly, same with police officers, except they self report at distinctly higher rates.

Also, are you positive that it’s just alcohol? Substance abuse is pretty rampant in the military as well.

WastingOrchid · 2020-12-02T00:05:12+00:00

Why do LVM always get angry when they’re drunk???? Literally 90% of the girls I know get drunk and try to befriend every other chick in the bathroom, 50% of the men I know get drunk and punchy. Tf is the deal??

No_Energy7768 · 2020-12-01T20:58:18+00:00

Gosh, why is he so rude ? What is wrong with him and no being drunk does not excuse being emotionally abusive.

takethemonkeynLeave · 2020-12-01T21:56:55+00:00

I’m so sorry someone spoke to you like that and glad you got away from that person. Men like this need professional help. I went through something similar with an alcoholic in 2016/2017 and it still affects me today. I was trapped in the classic abuse cycle where he would be as sweet as he was in the first few months and shower me with gifts/take me on vacations right after an episode of abuse. It was horrible and confusing and I stayed long enough to endure violent attacks and verbal threats to my life and my dog’s.

Even the other day, I met a guy for a 3rd date and he had a very thoughtful gift for me, based off something I’d mentioned I like in passing. When my abusive ex surprised me with gifts in the beginning before he showed his true colors, I was swept away thinking how romantic it was. This new guy having done that only sets off alarm bells now. I can’t shake the feeling of being uncomfortable and I don’t know what to think or how to proceed.

People who haven’t been through stuff like this are so very lucky. Scars you for life. Cutting them out completely as soon as it starts is the only response they deserve.

letsberealforamoment · 2020-12-01T23:40:57+00:00

Alcoholics arent able to be partners The bottle is their true love. Putting anything befkre the booze will always.be a struggle for them on their best days

Leave. Ive divorced twice over alcohism No regrets

KateJ1982 · 2020-12-02T00:59:05+00:00

With all due respect, you are still married to this man. You are not in a position to give out advice that you have not been willing to take yourself. No one should put up with this garbage for one minute. Your comments indicate that you're reflecting, wondering why he does this, trying to understand alcoholism, etc. It doesn't matter why he does this. It just matters that he did it. So leave, for your safety, your sanity, your dignity and your future.

thruawoo90210 · 2020-12-01T20:38:02+00:00

What a toxic person... I'm sorry you have to go through that. Power to you ✊

MagnfiqueMaleficent · 2020-12-01T21:49:25+00:00

[deleted]

ferociouslycurious · 2020-12-01T23:36:01+00:00

“Because I’m a childish, angry and low confidence male who never learned basic decency.”

vitryolic · 2020-12-01T21:09:22+00:00

I have this exact same experience of a military man when drunk. My understanding is when they’re all getting drunk together, this level of swearing and aggression is almost standardised and accepted as displays of masculinity.

When my ex Face-timed me from army parties, everyone had been physically fighting for fun. They didn’t know when to establish boundaries as it was all “BoYs WiLl Be BoYs” ‘fun and games’.

They get conditioned into thinking letting out their anger and resentment when drunk is fine because of their high stress jobs. I’ve had 3 LTR’s with military men and never will again. It’s the same untreated mental issues over and over again.

Diamond_fairy · 2020-12-01T21:54:46+00:00

If they drink anything more than one glass of wine or one beer at meal, they're done for me. I'm too scared from the lack of self control that alcohol produces.

Twolipz_78 · 2020-12-01T22:53:38+00:00

Jorge? Is that you?

victoriaairotciv · 2020-12-02T04:53:28+00:00

[deleted]

Ghost_namesake · 2020-12-02T05:55:55+00:00

Girl, freaking run for your life!! This could be my ex husband and he ended up threatening me with a gun. I would have never thought it would go that far. he usually just got angry when he was drunk and combative towards me verbally. If you need a pep talk, dm me. I just left him earlier this year. He will never change. Choose yourself! It's scary, but it will pay off for you in the end.

victoriaairotciv · 2020-12-01T23:13:56+00:00

Don’t blame the military lol. That’s his fault not ours. We don’t give out training on how to be verbally abusive to dependents or co-los. 🥴 He did that by choice and you shouldn’t let him get away with it. If he’s stressed out then he needs to go to therapy. Not sure what branch he is, but if he’s navy then Fleet and Family is always right there with open doors and FREE help. Are you military too? If you are, then that is already proof that the job stress can’t be a blame. You’re not doing it to him....

light_workerx3 · 2020-12-02T00:26:43+00:00

Ewwww!! Oh hell no . Please leave this Jerk.

sarstarss · 2020-12-02T03:32:37+00:00

Hi OP,

To this day, I am asked why I didn’t leave the first time or the second time. Just like you, I made excuses for the disrespect, the lying and the abuse. Every time I would beg him not to drink or get high and he did it anyway, I would make an excuse as to why he did it. He had a bad childhood, he was stressed. He had taken on too much. The truth however is that my ex just like your husband was an adult. And at some point you will have to stop making excuses for him and his behaviour. I’ll be honest and say it took him cheating to make me leave and that’s what shocks most people. I became so battered and okay with being treated like a punching bag that it took him cheating which was the least of our problems to leave.

So I’ll leave you with this. He won’t change because he doesn’t want to. He treats you like this because you let him and because despite wanting to leave you won’t. Love isn’t everything and if you won’t do it for yourself, do it for your children. When I was my lowest during my separation what got me through it was knowing I didn’t have kids.

Your kids don’t deserve to have an example of a relationship like this. Your kids deserve to see a strong mother, a mother who is alive and is able to see her children grow up. Your kids and you deserve to have a life that is worthy of respect, dignity and love that doesn’t ask you to lose your self respect. Please leave.

button-up · 2020-12-02T00:25:07+00:00

What a dirt bag. Sadly, you encourage this behaviour by staying. You truly deserve better. 💕🤗

Unfit_Needleworker · 2020-12-02T03:57:03+00:00

Why do you want to be with him? It sounds like you’re trying to figure him out instead of just realizing he’s just a dud.

2020-12-02T05:26:35+00:00

Oooo that was my marriage. It’s been 4 years since it ended and no one talks to me like that anymore. It did trigger anxiety and I thought you met my ex for a split second.

Life is so much better without being treated this way.

Jumpingonair · 2020-12-02T01:47:38+00:00

Why did you keep replying to him?

He has NO respect for you and is treating you horribly. No one should have to deal with being treated like this, stop giving him your time.

PrivyPal · 2020-12-02T13:24:16+00:00

"Because"??? The nerve!

christmasforoutlaws · 2020-12-01T23:17:08+00:00

Hopefully cirrhosis gets him. Fuck that piece of shit.

mikobaby · 2020-12-02T03:08:31+00:00

You should say “Fuck You Right Back Trash” and block him cuz that’s what he is. Trash.

AyemHerself · 2020-12-09T03:07:09+00:00

I recently left a recovering alcoholic who put me through similar abuse. I will tell you that even if he did magically decide to get sober and live the 12 steps success story, this kind of pain isn't going to go away. You're making the right call to walk.

chateauduchat · 2020-12-02T20:55:11+00:00

This made me triggered... girl he is bad. My narc ex did shit like this. Hot and cold. Unstable. Lovebombing and then abusing. You’re in a trauma bond and I really hope you can leave...

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