There's a reason that I only accept dinner dates at mid to high-tier restaurants early on the vetting process when dating a man, and its not because I'm a "gOLdiGgiNg hO". Well, maybe! If the other subreddits want to come at me for that, so be it.
The reason why I only accept dinner dates early on in the vetting process is for numerous reasons:
1) A man will always value what he works hard for and pays for. Psychology experiments prove time and time again that the more people pay for something, the more they'll value it.
He suggested a walk and coffee date for your first meeting, where his entire intention is trying to impress you? He doesn't value you sis. In fact, he thinks access to your body is only worth $3.00 or whatever a Venti from Starbucks costs these days. I'm sure you have more respect for yourself than that! Actually, a skid row prostitute gets paid more for access to her body than this suggestion of a walk and a $3.00 coffee. It's a sad reality where pickme's will happily leap at the idea of a walk/coffee date thinking that being low maintenance is "cool". No, sis, he just doesn't value you. At all.
2) A man who is proud to be seen with you will willingly take you to mid to high tier restaurants where the likelihood of him running into someone is higher.
If a man is keen on getting to know you past something casual, he will more likely suggest a mid to high tier restaurant to invite you to. Especially if he runs in higher social circles, and this is a really good sign. If he is proud to be seen with you in public, the likelihood of your situation turning into FWB or something casual behind closed doors is reduced. However, this isn't true in every situation. There's quite a few men who are trophy hunters who want to be seen with a beautiful woman on their arm at all times. The wait staff are usually in on it and are used to seeing him come in with a new woman every week. These men are also trying to keep a rotation of beautiful woman in their harem by wining and dining them and appearing "high value", so you can never fully trust a man these days.
3) A dinner date is a perfect opportunity to really "study" a man.
Watch how your date leads the conversation, is receptive to what you have to say, and contributes meaningfully without interrupting. Watch how he treats the waitstaff and the people around him. Does he carry himself with tact, or does he love to draw attention to himself? If your date loves to be loud and flashy at a restaurant by speaking a little too loudly about things that should be said in private, he's trying to get the attention of other people (potentially other women). Does your date treat the waitstaff with respect and dignity, or does he come off as an arrogant condesending asshole? Negative qualities can easily be hidden behind closed doors or in outdoor interactions where you're away from a majority of people, like on a walk/hike for example. Men who are cheap and LV suggest low effort dates because they don't want to expose their negative qualities in social situations, where you'll quickly be able to cut him off because you're a HVW and are looking for someone who contributes to your life in a meaningful and positive way.
4) Having you over and cooking you dinner is not an alternative to a meal at a restaurant early on in the vetting process.
I'm talking really early on in the vetting process. So many women have the false belief that when a man invites them over for dinner, they're being endearing and thoughtful. This is the FURTHEST thing from the truth, especially when a man hardly knows you! Cooking for someone creates a false sense of intimacy in many ways, and having you over at his place where you're alone can put you in an extremely compromising situation. When a man cooks for you instead of taking you out, it's not because he genuinely cares about you. Men who cook (and are usually terrible at it), will throw a bunch of things that already exist in his fridge that could weeks old together, and make it a meal. Pickmeishas are quick to believe that because the man cooked for her "that they must really like her". NAH, sis! He's trying to create a false sense of intimacy and make you believe that there's something there, when really he's trying to fuck you for as little money as possible without having to take you out in public for an expensive meal that he worked hard to pay for. Is cooking for each other completely off the table? Absolutely not. However, this is not something that should be accepted willingly early on in the vetting process. It creates a precedent that its OK for him to treat you as a low value/low maintenance woman.
I am hoping that all of you HV queens are happy to be high maintenance and have bare minimum standards to meet. The more women raise their standards when it comes to what's acceptable as a first date, the less men will try and low ball you with "walk/coffee/drink" dates. The offers of such dates only exist because they're effective with pickmeishas.
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