Not sure if I flared this correctly, but I’m seeing a pattern lately where pick mes who get posted on here are ripped to shreds for having low standards and low self esteem, allowing a man to run them through the ringer, treat them like shit, etc. Yet I keep seeing WAY TOO MANY posts describing how a LVM was entertained for far too long, or even asking for advice on how to deal with him.

First of all, I thought dating apps were against FDS? So why am I seeing SO many posts asking for advice on how to deal with this man you meet on OLD, even though it’s been established that men who use dating apps are bottom barrel and nobody wants them IRL so they resort to OLD where they are encouraged to be low effort with high standards they don’t even meet themselves? I’m honestly not understanding the appeal of using OLD from women who also claim to absolutely despise hookup culture. that’s truly all you’re going to get out of dating apps and that’s also been established time and time again, both by women using apps and scrotes themselves who freely admit they are looking for a low effort lay. I used to be open to casual sex and dating apps were still not worth my time and effort, so marriage-minded ladies using them and then complaining about their experience is just so baffling to me.

If that wasn’t enough, I’m seeing ladies who actually answer these stupid messages they receive with long paragraphs. What’s not clicking about block and delete??? There is no reason why I should be seeing screenshots of these messages with your response, at least crop out your reply and pretend like you follow FDS. I think one of the handbook posts should be stickied every week because I feel the core message is getting lost.

I just don’t understand how there’s so much vitriol for the pick mes and forever gfs who willingly deal with these pathetic men, but so many users on here don’t even have the fortitude to block and delete losers they have never even met IRL. You shouldn’t be posting for advice for how to deal with these losers cause you shouldn’t be dealing with them period! The whole point of FDS, as I understand it, is to develop tactics to block these LVM from becoming something you even need to deal with in the first place. What’s the point of learning how to identify red flags if you still let these scrotes wave them in your face and stake them down on your front lawn? You are honestly no better than the pickmes who put up with these men. It’s giving hypocrite if I’m being completely honest.

I am beyond grateful for the strategy posts that decode narcissist and abusive behavior, that educate us how to spot all of the not so obvious red flags. It brings me so much joy to read stories of women who left shitty relationships and leveled up in life after shedding that dead weight. I love hearing from the women who did find a HVM, who tell the rest of us what to expect as a baseline for every man we date. What I’m not here for is bashing women who are still under the fog of the patriarchy/liberal feminism, while so many of these shit talkers are only here because they want to learn how to find a “good man” and still need male validation just like the pickme’s they claim to be so different from.

I love dating and romance from a man as much as the next woman, but I don’t love the chokehold that male attention has some of us in. I don’t see whats the issue with putting a stop to dating entirely and letting the right man come into your life organically and effortlessly. I know a HVW, an absolutely gorgeous, intelligent, talented, and kind woman who waited 10 YEARS after her previous relationship before getting serious with her current bf. And it’s not like she was waiting lonely and sad for him—she was living her best life traveling with her girls, being a model turned body builder turned fitness influencer, getting a degree, etc. She also said “talking to a guy you met off a dating app for 6 months doesn’t count as a relationship.” It’s a waste of your own time and energy that could be spent leveling up. I’ve put a moratorium on men in my own life, and while I do get lonely and sad at times, I am much more at peace knowing any emotional turmoil I experience isn’t caused by dealing with a man who isn’t worth my time and energy.