A few days ago u/Jammerly1 made a post about her experiences with dating incels and beta nerds. The number of differences in what she's encountered versus what I have is very striking. Unfortunately I've not dated any incels so can't comment about what that subgroup of males are like, but both of my LTRs are beta men with nerdy personalities/hobbies as are most of my friends, so I am confident in my ability to talk about these types of relationships at least.

  1. Romance - They tend to have a romantic streak, unless the world beats it out of them. Rose petals on the bed, scented candles lit before you come over, an offer to go to your favorite restaurant after you made an offhand comment about having a rough day dealing with your family members or work...As a woman who usually doesn't see much point to romantic gestures, these little things still make you stop and appreciate what environment your beta guy is trying to create for you.

  2. Intelligence - Though there are probably outliers somewhere, I've yet to meet a nerd who wasn't above average in intelligence. Even if they didn't have the opportunity to go to a college or university, they have a strong desire to keep learning on their own, and it shows. You will absolutely never run out of things to talk about, whether it's discussing the current status of achieving the AI singularity/Omega point, the anthropological theories of Jared Diamond, whether or not the ancient Chinese made it to the Americas, or debating on Hobbesian vs Locke states of nature, you'll either build your education together (if you're also a self learner) or become more aware of the various topics in our world. Either way, not a bad thing!

  3. Videogames - Okay, so this one probably only counts if you're also into them. But with the claim that there are more "gamer girls" in recent years than ever before, one would think it's becoming difficult to find women who aren't playing. It's a great thing, to invite your guy over and have a fun night at home just relaxing, eating take out, and killing some Nazi zombies or trying futilely to convince other team members to move the frickin payload.

  4. Geeking out - One thing I will agree with Jammerly1 about is this: a lot of beta nerds aren't used to having their opinions validated or, in some cases, even listened to. But as their partner, it becomes so easy to help break them out of that shell because you actually care about what they think/feel, and probably have at least a little interest in their hobbies too. Finding something in a store they truly want, like a $200 motion sensitive lightsaber, and watching them geek out about it to you, sharing their excitement... it's one of the most adorkable things you'll ever see.

  5. Sex - Whether he's had 0 or 10 sexual encounters with women before you, one seemingly consistent aspect of the beta personality is that they want to please you. Does this mean you'll have to explain certain parts of your particular body to them? Duh, of course. But honestly, shouldn't you be asking him the same questions so you can please him the best too? My lovers aren't the same man and have different tastes/preferences for how they like being touched...why would I be any different? Having a partner who asks for clarification about what they're doing sounds much better than one who just assumes he's doing perfect as is.

  6. Equality - I've recently noticed that more nerds are becoming less prone to random acts of chivalry, possibly because of the spread of Red Pill ideology or simply because they're tired of being labeled as "misogynistic" for it. Jammerly1 notes that she can't count on the beta nerds she's dated to defend her in an argument. But is this an inherently bad thing? Before you downvote me into Oblivion 😉, just ask yourself what your reaction would be if a man was complaining about his girlfriend not defending him. Be honest... what would you say to him? If it's different than what you'd say to a woman, why is that? Perhaps you like chivalry because you are a traditionalist/RPW. That's cool, I don't have a problem with you. But if you consider yourself a Feminist or "progressive", wouldn't you say it is hypocritical to expect defense from a male if you don't offer the same? Personally, I like that my lovers let me stand up for myself and don't feel the need to step in to bolster my points, because they know I'm a capable human being in my own right.

These are just some of the things I've noticed about being in LTRs with Beta nerds. Do you agree? Disagree? Think I'm crazy? Are you a Beta nerd yourself and think this is an inaccurate representation of you? Discuss!