Are you <26M?

wtknight · 2022-09-22T19:52:51+00:00

When a guy is in college is when he is most often likely to be living around lots of other women and when he is going to be seeing many other guys being sexually successful with women. It’s pretty important for men to learn how to improve themselves and how to attract women at this stage of their lives.

themostgianthorse · 2022-09-22T19:37:38+00:00

37 man here.

Why is college a pseudo reality? I would argue this is the first time many will experience freedom and independence for the first time in which they will discover some realities. Example - guy finds out he’s not quite as cute or funny as mommy says he is.

I would agree that 20’s are potentially difficult time for a lot of guys in regards to dating. I do not agree that most problems will go away naturally. For some this will be true but there will be (what appears to be a growing number) of young men who need to take a measured approach to address their weaknesses.

HazyMemory7 · 2022-09-22T21:44:17+00:00

"You're 20. You don't have a ton going for you."

Buddy...tinder is a hook up app. If you aren't getting matches on tinder it's not because you don't have a lot going for you. It's because you aren't physically attractive. What do you think 19-21 year old college girls are looking for on dating apps?

This sub unironically exists because people give bizarre explanations like this, and time and time again underrate the importance of physical appearance.

flakybottom · 2022-09-22T19:51:36+00:00

Oh the problems will just magically fix themselves strategy, very bold. This is more like the incel speedrun strat.

Glass_Bucket · 2022-09-22T19:55:09+00:00

Yeah dude just don't bother trying to get a girlfriend or get laid in your early 20s, you'll magically become a chad once you hit 26 and you definitely won't be a socially awkward virgin who has no clue how to talk to women

Anykindofland · 2022-09-22T21:21:48+00:00

"You're 20. You don't have a ton going for you."

If you are ugly in your early 20s you will most likely be ugly in your late 20s. Don't fall for the illusion that everything will magically be alright as you grow older. The opposite is true: It will only be a constant downhill once you hit mid 20s. Use your youth to gain the experiences you want.

SuspiciousAd5402 · 2022-09-22T20:06:42+00:00

32M never really knew about pills until I was 30M so it had zero influence on me till then. But after learning about it and looking back in my life it all made sense. A lot of guys reflect the same issues I've had as a man which was mind opening and undid a lot of things I learned growing up. If you had shitty dating life in your 20s it's not going to drastically change in your 30s. Or maybe even 40s.

Harz362526 · 2022-09-22T19:35:38+00:00

Why?

Are 20 year old dating woes not justified? Why aren’t 18 year olds interested in him?

Same rules apply.

By the time I was mid twenties I had been with dozens of women, but “according to self reported studies” that’s more than some people’s lifetime averages.

So the “never kissed” 30 year olds would be just as clueless as a 20 year old.

DreysunTheOne · 2022-09-22T23:48:52+00:00

Cool another " just wait until you're 30 and successful then women will want you"

As if there aren't guys younger than wy having sex and growing up will make me a completely different person women lol ve to be around.

Cool story bro

John_Oakman · 2022-09-22T19:49:53+00:00

And what if I am older than that (I am, but irrelevant)? Then the goal post moves to amount of grass touched (life experiences amassed), and that being used to dismiss more people's grievances.

If somehow that hurdle has been passed, then it's onward to attack said person's moral character, and that's an almost infallible tactic... so long as all parties involved buys into the same general moral framework.

Fit-Faithlessness149 · 2022-09-22T23:00:56+00:00

It didn't used to be that way. Early twenties for a man was the prime time for dating and getting married. What has changed? The standards and expectations of women have increased exponentially. Women's ability to earn money has increased drastically but the same thing has not happened for men but for some reason women seem to expect men to have increased in lock step with them. Women are now using their twenties for their ho phase instead of looking for a serious relationship. This leaves a lot of eligible bachelors completely ignored which is something that hasn't happened in the previous century.

KissMyAsthma-99 · 2022-09-22T22:33:13+00:00

I'm 40, married, two kids. I think most of the complaints in this sub are valid and on track. I believe that what I felt in college was accurate then, and more accurate every year.

Does that change your mind?

mankurtistan · 2022-09-24T08:43:47+00:00

what a load of horseshit.

Hoopy223 · 2022-09-22T20:17:13+00:00

High School and College aren’t “pseudo realities” for the people living through it.

DRliveseyyy · 2022-09-22T20:04:36+00:00

Idk, it feels more like that the older people are the ones complaining the most on this sub

Eavenne · 2022-09-22T20:05:12+00:00

22F, not in a relationship but part of an exclusive dating situation, I drop by to having something to mindlessly scroll through and procrastinate on sleeping

kaycyy__pluto · 2022-09-22T21:19:45+00:00

If this is true( it is) why do women have an issue with men 30+ dating women in their 20s if they never had the opportunity their female counterparts did?

meddit-throwaway · 2022-09-22T23:01:04+00:00

Getting older isn't going to magically make everything easier. If you don't make an effort to approach women, learn social skills, improve your physique, dress well... Guess what, you'll be the same person in a few years, just a bit older. A 20M is in his prime and has everything he needs in order to attract women. And tinder certainly does not get any better as you get older. It's skewed in favour of women and always will be.

My advice to the 20 year old guy is don't waste your time on tinder, focus on raising your SMV in the ways listed above and you can be successful. Older guys tend to be more successful (on average) because they've had more time to raise their SMV, not just because they are older.

WilliamWyattD · 2022-09-23T02:42:45+00:00

The idea that men gain SMV as they age is complicated by the fact that the current culture is increasingly pushing against age gaps in relationships (for various reasons).

So if men are locked into their age equivalent in females, then it is hard for men as a whole to gain much aggregate SMV given fundamental gender asymmetries in desire. All that really happens is age can change which men are most desirable.

Gingerchoco · 2022-09-23T04:48:25+00:00

I completely agree, with the exception that dating in the "real world" for 23-26 year old guys sucks, and has sucked for at least the last 20-plus years, since I was that age. I think older men, young women and other demographics all have different reasons for not acknowledging this but it is so blatantly clear. If we just lowered expectations for guys in their 20s there would be a lot less frustration. I don't think women even begin seeing men as "in our prime" until say 28 at earliest, even though our athletic and physical prime is earlier.

KinKiraKin · 2022-09-23T14:01:48+00:00

A man's low 20s are a statistically and truly terrible time to date. Most of your problems will go away naturally as you grow up. Do not waste your youth indoctrinating yourself into an ideology that will likely just stunt your emotional growth for life.

What, so the implication here is that if you're in your early 20s then you should just accept celibacy while women and other attractive men your age are gaining experience? Just wait until you get older so you can enter a relationship with a woman who's had enough of "the games" and now realizes she wants to be with a guy who she'd turn her nose on had she met 2 years earlier?

Cult_of_Chad · 2022-09-22T19:41:58+00:00

I'm 33. That's old enough to be considered a full adult even by millennial standards.

darkvalleys · 2022-09-22T20:54:40+00:00

They don’t even have to be young to be antisocial or misogynist/misanthropic

ruboyuri · 2022-09-22T21:38:25+00:00

Asking young people to have patience and reason is like asking a goldfish to remember poetry

pop442 · 2022-09-22T21:55:28+00:00

I'm 28 so close.

Ironically, though, I have tons of world experience. I have a Master's, work a cushy job after juggling different jobs in the process to get where I'm at, and I just moved to a different state a month ago. I've slept with a lot of girls((ONS and such) but I've only had 4 truly long term relationships that didn't work out all that much.

I will both agree and disagree with you.

The 30's are a better time for men than the 20's for sure but it depends on the context. A goofball with weird looks and no type of fitness/muscle mass who's flat broke in his 30's will do just as poorly as he does in his 20's.

The main thing about getting older is that you get more experience but, ultimately, you have the opportunity to build yourself up as a man even outside relationships. Having my own actual home is liberating and it gives you a certain level of confidence that you wouldn't have living in a small apartment(like how I previously lived) or, worse yet, with your parents(which I did back in college when I wasn't on campus).

You also feel confident if you've managed to home in on your career path and make a higher salary than you did flipping burgers at McDonalds, stocking shelves at Walmart, or doing a commission only sales job(albeit this can work out if you have no life lol).

Sometimes, it's fun impressing younger women(and I younger I mean early 20's) with your own car, own place, and not being broke. They don't even know how average your are because the dude they're dealing with are no where near that level.

But it takes time and dedication to do well in your 30's. You can't just coast in your 20's and expect a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow once you hit the big 3-0. You have to set yourself up for your 30's to work.

I'm already settled without hitting the mark yet so I know my 30's is going to be great.

IceMysterious4265 · 2022-09-23T02:27:54+00:00

You're not going to gain that much experience Just You think You Are if you are above 26. The guys who struggle below 26 are still the guys struggling above

roseonyxa · 2022-09-23T03:43:07+00:00

So what men in their 20's are not allowed to want LTR and instead focus on racking up numbers?

domdomdom333 · 2022-09-23T14:24:06+00:00

This would only make sense if the status quo remained the same for the rest of eternity, which isn't going to happen.

It's fact that younger people are more exposed to life ever than before. The awkward teenage years have been eroded and one is a child and at 13 all the sudden they try to behave like a young adult.

As for why are 20 year olds worried that they have no real world experience? That's because the baseline has shifted. When I was 16 most guys had already had sex and many girls at 14 were already chatting about their first time experiences. What a late 20 year old would have done a few decades ago a minor has already done them in 2022.

If you dare just ask your grandmother, 99% chance that cunninlingus was out of the question in her days where as now anal is borderline expected.

daddysgotanew · 2022-09-25T00:30:12+00:00

26 is not young. For some reason modern western society infantalizes people well into adulthood. Two generations ago, 30 was solidly middle aged. People that are in their late 20’s should have plenty of life experience. My grandfather had a wife, a house, 2 kids, and had been shipped off twice to fight in Korea by that point. Only in 2022 do we consider 20-somethings “kids.”

AreOut · 2022-09-22T19:53:57+00:00

"A man's low 20s are a statistically and truly terrible time to date"

there are 20yo Chads that slay, the same like those one or two guys in high school class that almost girls looked to

before 18 I had only one gf and she was yuge (for HS standards) and I had such a low self-esteem that I wouldn't lose virginity even with her if she didn't say "my parents went to the countryside for the weekend"

what I want to say I would be the same low-esteem idiot even today if I didn't rebuild myself the way I should be from the beginning

NockerJoe · 2022-09-22T19:52:22+00:00

Yeah, and while it has gotten easier I'm not gonna lie about the whole dynamic being bullshit and if your solution for men is "wait an entire decade and things will get slightly less bad" that flat out is not a solution, nor is it a valid statement.

I'm also not gonna lie about how I feel about it. Since I changed demos to my mid-late 20's a few women have tried to circle back around but I have zero enthusiasm for someone who wouldn't give me the time of day while they were riding high and I wasn't. I'm also used to be way more willing to date older women back in the day but dealing with their baggage can get exhausting given how many of them will freely bitch about this or that ex like its my job to make up for the dudes they fucked when I wasn't getting the time of day.

dottywine · 2022-09-22T20:41:38+00:00

I agree with you. Most posts made by men ask very immature questions like they have a sheltered teenager mind. Then come to find out it’s someone who just got into college or something lol

MsGoogleEyes · 2022-09-22T21:52:46+00:00

litterally crying i didnt even go to college

BrummieAMN19 · 2022-09-22T20:16:38+00:00

I’m 20 turning 21 and I’ve never had a deep struggle with women apart from my ex which I caused and a small dry spell before game fixed my problems. I can pretty much walk up to a woman in cold approach and know with high certainty I can shag her that same night. Shagging university girls especially white middle class ones is a joke it’s not that hard honestly it’s just game 101. Tinder, hinge and bumble I don’t relate to men on here bitching and moaning about it it’s an incredibly efficient way of getting pussy if you know what you’re doing and it isn’t hard to stand out when every other man and his dog is fucking it up whether it’s photos or awful texting.

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Ztstra · 2022-09-22T19:54:20+00:00

24 but i like to talk shit.

Weshnon · 2022-09-22T20:14:48+00:00

*the real answer is that at 20 nearly nobody is able to present themselves as a cohesive, clear, healthy minded ,yet noticeable person online, especially if the "hOrmOnes" are what is primarily driving you to do so.I did meet my long term ex husband irl at that age though, but admittedly none of us were -sorry to say it this way- bland, introverted, socially inept nor boring.

2022-09-22T20:47:19+00:00

19M I'm here to feel better, my problems look better when I see people drowning in a glass of water

FlyV89 · 2022-09-22T22:16:19+00:00

33 years old here, with a body count of like 70 something that I got with women from 11 different countries.

TheLoneMushroom · 2022-09-23T00:40:09+00:00

Honestly my problem with all of this is that it's incredibly complex to the point you'd have to devote an immense amount of time and research to understand it. Meanwhile everyone on these subs cherry pick, make things black and white, make sweeping generalizations, misrepresent information, rely on anecdotal evidence, etc. to support their beliefs. A lot of them can be pretty convincing, or hold partial truths people take as whole. Yet some pieces of information are factually sound and can be learned from. It's like navigating through a landmine of disinformation.

Also while I've grown considerably within the last decade, I don't agree with not dating while you have problems. It really just depends on what your problems are. I used to think I shouldn't have a relationship simply because I live with depression, and that just ended up making me feel more lonely and depressed. I didn't know that it's normal to not be perfect and you're supposed to grow together. I missed some good opportunities with some amazing people I still regret to this day. It also becomes extremely hard to meet new people as an adult. Though tbh, I don't know if I'd be where I am today had I dated normally. Perhaps I could have grown faster, perhaps not.

You mention that college isn't real life, but I don't see how it isn't. Yes, it's a different atmosphere than going to the grocery store, or most occupations, but the reason it's different is because it's made up of primarily young people with similar experiences and ideas. They're still real people who you interact with, befriend, and date. There are also varying levels of intelligence and emotional maturity across the age groups who attend. I always advocate for dating when the opportunity presents itself, so long as you know your worth, have standards, and don't settle (unless you have ridiculous standards).

Remarkable_Sort_1706 · 2022-09-23T10:44:51+00:00

You’re question about being less than 26 isn’t really the gotcha you think it is. Considering the average age of virginity loss is 18, it shows plenty of people ARE gaining real experience when younger.

Me and other virgins who are past that age by a few years have a right to be concerned.

CameronJohns88 · 2022-09-23T13:25:14+00:00

In what ways are college experiences with women a pseudo reality?

My college and post college experiences have been largely the same. Tinder coffee dates or a bar, then hook ups or more relationshipy stuff like museums or exploring the city.

If anything college was significantly easier for relationships. More free time and more access to women

Son_of_Tzu · 2022-09-23T13:31:57+00:00

31M

Had a religious upbringing but remained atheist througout (complicated situation) and actually went against most conservative ideals about women, gender etc.

In my teenage / twenties i wanted to be a SAHD, was very in touch with my emotions and wanted a partner to take care of me.

The pill terminology hit me 4-5 years ago and it did a number on my worldview. I was introduced to casual sex, met married women and single moms which kinda cemented my distaste for commitment but put me on the rigth track for personal improvement (career and health wise).

I dont think the pills fucked me up so much as getting to know more about women.

2022-09-23T15:32:38+00:00

I soft disagree with you on something about this.

I do agree that 17-20 year olds shouldn’t be on this sub asking for advice and shitting on women, even if they’ve been shitted on by women. It sucks, it’s feels bottom of the barrel, sure. But, what they need to be doing is making friends with more successful guys, getting closer to their more successful cousins and brothers and earnestly asking them to coach them into some pussy.

But, 26 is a bit too late to be coming here for the first time and asking for advice. By that point you’ve pretty much already missed out on every instance of being able to have a woman in your life purely because she just enjoyed your presence around her, and not for any other socially or societally important reasons. I’m not saying it can’t happen at that point but there’s probably always going to be a plus factor in there.

kvakerok · 2022-09-25T00:04:53+00:00

Smack talks red pill. Proceeds to literally confirm recommendations of red pill. Takes a special person for such mental gymnastics.

Anti_Thing · 2022-10-11T01:11:57+00:00

I wound up here because I need help right now. Due to my religious beliefs, I can't have my sexual needs met outside of marriage. I'd also like a big family, which will be less realistic the older my wife is when we marry, & I'd prefer not to marry someone significantly younger than me.

Most attractive women who meet my standards seem to be taken by their mid-20s. I'm almost 25 & I haven't even kissed a girl. Meanwhile I'm surrounded by guys my age or younger who are in LTRs or even married. (My dad married at 22!) Many of these guys are arguably uglier & have less social status than me, & yet they seem to have no trouble with women.

NFthrowaway8302021 · 2023-01-10T07:32:45+00:00

I've interacted with 18 year old women, 20 something year old women, and 30 something year old women. The older women are not inherently more mature than the younger ones.

Title	Are you <26M?
Author	EugeneCezanne
Upvotes	25
Comments	245
Date	September 22, 2022 7:24 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/xlaoiv/are_you_26m/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-you.1132070 https://theredarchive.com/post/1132070

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