I feel like young men should never commit to a relationship if women will have sex with them regardless.

wtknight · 2022-03-27T03:46:41+00:00

Re-flaired as CMV as this post is making an affirmative claim.

EatMyAsssssssssssss · 2022-03-27T05:40:08+00:00

Lmfao are you living under a bridge, eating exclusively fast food leftovers? That is not how the average 26 year old looks

Yupperdoodledoo · 2022-03-27T04:08:40+00:00

Have you ever been in a relationship?

If guys actually preferred what you describe, they would do it. A few do. But most men actually fall in love, are jealous and don’t want the woman they love sleeping with others, and really enjoy the companionship of a relationship.

datnigga12 · 2022-03-27T05:07:21+00:00

I’m a young guy that was in a 5 year relationship that ended, I would never say it was worthless since I learned about myself and how to properly treat others and myself. Memories and experience are priceless bro I don’t think I’d trade it for a large number of casual flings or a experimental youth. I guess it just depends on what you value… It does hurt like a bitch though.

LittleDragonMaiden · 2022-03-27T03:27:47+00:00

26 is a bit young to already be out of shape, not sure about the balding part because I’m sure that is a genetic thing.

You really make committed relationships sound like a drag. A relationship should add to your life, not take away from it. You want someone that compliments your life and adds value. Forming long term committed relationships not just with a romantic partner but also with friends, brings a lot of value to someone, more than a casual relationship ever could. If you were to get cancer or overall get down on your luck, is your hookup going to be there for you? Or your gf of ten years? Is your hookup going to clean up your office for free? Or your girlfriend?

Even if you don’t have a need for a committed relationship, for most people, it is emotionally fulfilling in a way that a casual relationship isn’t.

But everyone is different at the end of the day, some people genuinely don’t have a physical, emotional, or financial need for a committed relationship.

NockerJoe · 2022-03-27T03:27:15+00:00

Bro if you're balding at 26 thats a far bigger option. I feel like zoomers don't understand how aging works and they think as soon as you leave your early 20's you immediatley hit middle age.

Shit even if you are balding at that age it shakes out to like $6 a month to grab some minoxidil and biotin and solve the problem more or less immediatley.

CatchPhraze · 2022-03-27T14:27:03+00:00

"I’ve realized that most women will have casual sex with average to above average looking men."

Less then 10% of woman have casual sex more then twice by 40.

mrcs84usn · 2022-03-27T03:32:27+00:00

If sex is the only thing you value out of a relationship, then yeah don’t commit.

Some of us actually like hanging out with our partners after we’ve put our clothes back on.

tired_hillbilly · 2022-03-27T04:59:30+00:00

for something that is not gonna work out.

That's not a reason to forsake all relationships. It's a reason to quit that relationship. You should be looking for a wife, not wasting your time on a shitty relationship or casual sex.

We're only on this Earth for about 80 years, if we're lucky. If you spend your 20's in 3-4 shit relationships, or a few dozen casual sex encounters before you find your wife, that's 10 years you'll miss out on with her. 10 years you can't get back.

WestsideMoonWalker · 2022-03-27T03:34:13+00:00

The thing I find odd about this. Casual relationships seem FAR more effort intensive than a healthy committed LTR. Constantly needing to repeat the effort to meet people and build relationships seems far more time consuming than just..... doing it once, having an established relationship, and building that alone. Plus casual stuff is mind-numbingly boring for a lot of people. Some people just straight up don't value casual sex that much. I'd estimate that this number is higher than what most on PPD would assume it is.

Also, based on all the data we see today, people are having less sex now than previous generations did, and the number of lifetime partners is hardly a shocking number on average.

Plus your understanding of aging is shit. Someone at 26 should look pretty damn close to how they did at 22, especially if their habits aren't shit. Yea, if they are in an LTR, they gave up potential casual sex, but that doesn't somehow make an LTR not worth it either, because a good LTR should ultimately add to your life. If it feels like a grind, you are doing it wrong.

banjocatto · 2022-03-27T06:04:06+00:00

Sex, honesty, and commitment are a huge part of it; but healthy people don't get into relationships for exclusive access to a person's body.

How empty and soulless.

By your logic, this is no different from saying "don't date men who spend money on women before they're married, because clearly he'll provide without the presence of commitment".

avantgrandelatte · 2022-03-27T03:23:24+00:00

Situationships are better than committed relationships, maybe

Casual sex gets boring and intimacy and love are matters of the heart which have benefits that cannot be described, only felt and experienced

If you arouse a woman enough that she'll be happy to share her heart without formal commitment, that would be ideal. But in many of those cases, you'd also fall for her too.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2022-03-27T03:42:28+00:00

What in the world does it matter? Commitments aren't contracts. Dating a girl with bomb head is what most men do in college. They still move on and marry after breakup if that even occurs.

Also who is out of shape and unattractive at 26? Sounds like a personal problem. Keep yourself up.

baresquad · 2022-03-27T04:06:00+00:00

Some things mean more than sex..

I say this being happily single 4 years now. If I’m into somebody, I’m gonna date them

undecided-name · 2022-03-27T05:14:18+00:00

Yeah no. I don't like casual fucking because it's the same shit different woman. I want something better than that and fwb is shitty because we're fucking and then she gets a boyfriend and then I'm fucking somebody else new and it's just not as fun.

So yeah, it's all relative.

2022-03-27T13:02:17+00:00

If you do this don’t bitch and cry later on about being single and unable to find someone

MrMushySauce · 2022-03-27T15:52:08+00:00

"Now your 26, balding"

Spoken like someone far from 26 lol. I'm 24 and nowhere near "balding." And neither will I be in a year and a half when I'm 26.

This post is way off-base. You're assuming there's no benefit to finding a relationship young. In reality, the best options on the market are available when you're youngest. Those options get taken quickly. Try dating at 30, and your options are skewing towards leftovers. "But I can still date 20 year olds when I'm 30!" Correct, you can date 20 year olds who date 30 year olds. You cannot date loyal 20 year olds who want to build a life through thick-and-thin with another 20 year old, because you're not that.

I've been in a long relationship, and my n-count is high too. I don't know what would ever inspire me to want to have not experienced my relationship to have 10-20 more on my n-count. I literally don't even remember half the people that compose my n-count. I remember like everything from my relationship, and it was the happiest I've ever felt in my life. These things are not equal, and if you had more experience in BOTH, you would know this.

mmm_try_again12345 · 2022-03-27T03:48:36+00:00

Most relationships especially for young people will simply not last. Lets say you are a young male who’s like 22 and in a relationship with a women the same age, you date for 4 years and then it ends up not working out

Part of the reason that is true is BECAUSE they date for four years and don’t get married. There really should never be a situation where you’re dating for four years - if you like someone enough to be around them that long, you need to be married.

You’re right that a lot of young women and men pretty much become husbands or wives without actually being married, which makes it much easier for a partner to break up or move on. That’s why you get so many people in their mid or late 20s who ‘just came out of a long relationship’.

Sleeping around is never the answer though. Find one girl you like, and marry her within two years, don’t spend 3+ yrs dating if you can help it. If you have good standards, the girl that you’re gonna want to marry someday doesn’t want to settle for a man who’s had a bunch of causal sex.

Aiasieth93 · 2022-03-27T03:28:05+00:00

Is it sex adrenaline rush all you care? If so, don't commit. But relationships have another 10000 perks that make them worthwhile and sex can be great too, just different.

If one day you break up and you became ugly so it is harder for you to find a relationship, then it is all your fault. As a side note, you didn't waste time. You eventually learnt a lot about yourself and others during this time as well as have plenty of wonderful memories to bring with you. That's life, experiences, they stay within you forever.

Honestly pills are too extreme. They are all correct but turn into extremes without considering the insane and vast spectrum in the middle that makes humans interesting.

If you are just looking for hookups without attachments your theory is correct, just up your game and go fuck around. It is easier than it is preached here. Yet, at some point once you had enough sex in your life you will eventually find out that there are other things worth to peruse, while sex becomes an additional life feature to have, but not the most important.

But let me share something.. if you are only after cheap sex you cannot much complain about cheap females, that's what you were after.

2022-03-27T04:15:39+00:00

Breakups suck. Most of us get into relationships hoping they’ll last. Sometimes they don’t and that sucks but it’s life. But you only need one and all that sacrifice is worth it. Honestly, going through the breakups is sometimes what’s going to make you appreciate when you have the right one. It wasn’t till I met my current SO that I realized that he was the only person I wanted to get to know for the rest of my life. As he gets older and gets into the stride of his career, when he becomes a dad, I want to be there for all of it. There are things you can only appreciate about a person when you see them evolve through life’s challenges and the ups and downs. I think what you’re describing doesn’t take that into consideration although I do understand the idea behind it.

WorldController · 2022-03-27T05:56:15+00:00

"Relationships" are just a precursor to marriage. They are an element of monogamy, which is an irrational, socially harmful institution that ought to be abolished.

HazyMemory7 · 2022-03-27T06:03:30+00:00

If you eventually want a family and find a really high quality girl, rare as they may be, there's no reason not to commit to a relationship.

Orange_Paisley · 2022-03-27T09:13:53+00:00

So for all the bs on this sub about how men love unconditionally and women don’t, you’re basically saying men shouldn’t fall in love, basically.

KamuiObito · 2022-03-27T16:01:04+00:00

That’s basically waT the men who are desired do anyways its a constant cycle of being humbled women just got hella wiggle room

Honest-Profile-5271 · 2022-03-27T16:30:45+00:00

Most 20 year old men are not having that much casual sex dude

Educational-Ad6210 · 2022-03-28T17:22:35+00:00

^ same guy who complains that women use dudes for free shit. I feel like young women should never commit to a relationship if they can go to dates for meals. After all, she will waste so many years of free riding if she stays with OP for four years.

TheEternalGhost · 2022-03-27T04:35:45+00:00

If women will do that then there is literally no point in relationships because you can have steady casual sex with someone, get the benefit of a relationship(companionship, cuddles and sex) without the sacrifice(exclusivity and time).

Exclusivity cuts both ways. Having an exclusive relationship improves the odds that she won't be having sex with anyone else and will stay around for longer.

It comes down to the individual person and how many options they have. My favourite time in relationships is the grey area in the first few months where sex is frequent but neither of us are bringing up the C word (commitment), because I feel that's when women are trying hardest to please. In my younger days when I wanted a life-partner though that was an insecure time because there was nothing stopping her moving on to the next guy.

People need to do what works for them.

2022-03-27T09:53:43+00:00

Many people here try to convince you about the perks of LTR. I won't. I'm in a happy LTR myself but I know very well that many people don't desire this lifestyle.

Dear OP, if you want only casual sex, then have it. Just be upfront with women about your intentions and then if they approve go and have your fun. I see waaaaay too many men who, I guess, want something casual too, but they enter these pseudo LTRs, bangin' their girlfriends while secretly looking for the one, or cheating on the side, because they don't like monogamy.

You don't want LTR level commitment but at least you're honest about it and I think it's something to appreciate. I assume you don't lead on girls with LTR promises to hook up (if you do, I seriously recommend getting more honest about it, many women want the same thing as you, find them)

I like my LTR and for me its way more enjoyable than hookups, but if you don't feel like being romantically attached and monogamous, then don't be.

Keep being honest and have a good life.

DrinkItInMan11 · 2022-03-27T03:42:58+00:00

Commitment is a joke to begin with. Being with one woman for the rest of my life just sounds depressing.

A smart and high value man never commits.

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andreea_carla_b · 2022-03-27T06:03:17+00:00

There's more to a relationship than exclusivity of time, companionship, and sex. Especially when considering a family and other big decisions.

Of course you can have them without the relationship part. Most just prefer to do these things with someone.

Also 26 is still young and you'd be surprised how much you can do for yourself within 1-2 years. I mean self improvement, both physically and mental health wise.

And remember that relationships are more about compatibility, than just people looking good and having sex. There are some more layers after that, and that's why it's not that eqsy to find someone 100% on the same page as you. But this shouldn't discourage you, because you should learn to appreciate yourself and improve yourself (for yourself, not others) in the process.

sarkington · 2022-03-27T06:26:31+00:00

Ok. So…no marriage then ?

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-03-27T10:15:58+00:00

After a few LTRs I can definitely claim that I'm a better sexual partner than my pre-LTR self. Which, if needed and I hypothetically divorced my wife, I would do a lot better in the dating game with my acquired experience.

This is not something you can get from banging girls 1-2 times.

2022-03-27T10:54:41+00:00

If youre out of shape by 26 I don't know what to tell you

jah-roole · 2022-03-27T11:41:53+00:00

I think there is a lot to learn from long term relationships about yourself and women in your case. There is also no better sex than intimate long term relationship sex. Having a different girl every night isn’t as great as it sounds just like it isn’t that great to have two girls at once unless all of you have done it before a few times. In your twenties you should be learning a lot. You should probably shift your frame of mind a bit

januaryphilosopher · 2022-03-27T11:45:55+00:00

If you really think you get all the benefits of the relationship, then what's the difference? You might as well just call her your girlfriend.

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2022-03-27T12:29:58+00:00

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2022-03-27T14:16:53+00:00

ex girl on the other hand can very easily get into another relationship with so much ease.

what so did you hit the "wall"?

of course if you're only after maximum sexual partners being single is ideal. people get into relationships cos that's not their priority.

NateHate1402 · 2022-03-27T15:34:49+00:00

I’m similar but different.

As I am now I’m just looking for casual relationships until I’m in my late twenties, early thirties. Now if I find someone that I click with to an undeniable level then I will give that relationship a chance and go all in.

So far that hasn’t happened but I won’t push those feelings away if it does.

PoliticalAnimal384 · 2022-03-27T15:35:03+00:00

I feel sad for you. There are so many benefits to a relationship beyond sex. My wife is the one person in the world I can trust with any secret, the person who knows me best, who will always celebrate with me or mourn with me, and I enjoy being around her all of the time.

If I had given that up because when we met I decided I wanted to keep fucking people I had no emotional connection to….what a tragedy.

Think about your life in the long run. You should have more goals than ejaculation in life and a life partner can be a great support.

iamprosciutto · 2022-03-27T18:04:14+00:00

So some types of sex require more trust than a casual partner or even a fwb can manage. If you like plain, vanilla PiV with no emotional investment and maybe a little oral or anal sex here and there, then yeah sure. If you like rope, impact play, breath play, or anything involving power exchange beyond the basic "yes sir," that should be an extremely close relationship between people who really understand each others limits. As cool as it would be to give your fwb permanent nerve damage because she was tied up and passed out while you were fucking her from behind, and you didn't notice the change in posture would be...

I'm 27 in an almost 5 year relationship. I wouldn't trade the depth that I have with my partner for 20 flings in the same time period. We have great sex almost every day with some kink at least once a week. Why would I want some flaky party girl every few months instead of that?

iamprosciutto · 2022-03-27T18:05:08+00:00

So some types of sex require more trust than a casual partner or even a fwb can manage. If you like plain, vanilla PiV with no emotional investment and maybe a little oral or anal sex here and there, then yeah sure. If you like rope, impact play, breath play, or anything involving power exchange beyond the basic "yes sir," that should be an extremely close relationship between people who really understand each others limits. As cool as it would be to give your fwb permanent nerve damage because she was tied up and passed out while you were fucking her from behind, and you didn't notice the change in posture would be...

I'm 27 in an almost 5 year relationship. I wouldn't trade the depth that I have with my partner for 20 flings in the same time period. We have great sex almost every day with some kink at least once a week. Why would I want some flaky party girl every few months instead of that?

PurpleKittensRock · 2022-03-27T18:56:04+00:00

I personally think people should not have sex outside of commitment at all.

But also, I kind of have the notion that both men and women should not get into LTRs until mid-twenties. And by that, I don’t mean compensating with casual sex, but rather sticking to just getting to know new people/creating platonic relationships/if possible travelling.

Their personalities/value system are just not that developed in their teens/early twenties, many people are reckless.

BUT I realise that’s a utopia given the state of everything. With so much sex in the media, it’s impossible for youngsters not to want to engage in it 🤷‍♀️

Coolio_Street_Racer · 2022-03-27T19:04:42+00:00

That is if you think the most valueable thing a women can offer you is sex.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2022-03-27T20:44:39+00:00

I mean, that's implying relationships are only vessels for sex. Which the aren't

sunologie · 2022-03-27T20:46:11+00:00

This is why women should withhold sex from men.

Capital_Scratch4562 · 2022-03-28T00:41:13+00:00

R u fucking kidding me? You’ve clearly never been in a relationship. You love your partner, so you literally don’t care about sleeping around, or want to at all. You date them because you’re in love. The effort is barely even effort when you love someone, it’s fun and it’s a wonderful thing to have in your life. I can’t believe someone actually thinks this like what the fuck?

EasternToe3824 · 2022-03-28T17:30:06+00:00

Sex is not the measure of „success“ for everyone. I as a man need time to build trust to even think about escalating things sexually. Fucking a total stranger, let alone „spinning plates“ is alien to me but others may do as they please. Live and let live.

I am happy to have had a 12year relationship with my high school sweetheart. It did not work out in the end but that is life. I learnt a lot about myself in that time, how I function and what I need in a relationship and what to avoid doing and for my view on relationships it was a valuable experience to be had.

If I had to give an advice to young men is that they should learn to be comfortable alone and operating on their own. Using that mindset makes it easier to end bad relationships.

craftaleislife · 2022-03-29T10:54:08+00:00

Or maybe, people can date who they want and when they want as long as they’re 2 consenting parties. If you don’t like long term relationships in your twenties- don’t have a long term relationship in your twenties. It’s subjective and everyone’s different. But don’t shit on others for their preferences that don’t affect you.

techr0nin · 2022-03-27T03:52:05+00:00

The only point for LTR is if you want a family. If you know for a fact you don’t, then yes it would be more optimal to leave your options open.

KickAss2021 · 2022-03-27T04:16:40+00:00

If you can find a relatively good community and a woman that has a positive relationship with both her biological father and mother that are happily married than it's worth it.

The cities tend be a drain on people, take a break from the area, and be with the peace and serenity of a rural town.

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