im gonna prove right with a very simple argument that the dating market is not fair

ashpr0ulx · 2022-11-15T00:50:09+00:00

what is there to prove? of course it’s not fair, nothing’s fair. to quote momma, life isn’t fair.

teethpeach · 2022-11-15T01:29:55+00:00

Life is fair because its unfair to everyone

5_7pickup · 2022-11-15T01:06:01+00:00

Being interested in sex doesn’t mean you have to be creepy/needy/desperate.

I’m very interested in sex with multiple different women but I’m not needy or desperate for any of them. If you have an abundant reality then you wouldn’t be desperate or needy. Imagine you have 3 active FWB, would you ever been needy or desperate?

Novadina · 2022-11-15T01:07:28+00:00

Unfair in what way?

we all know men r much more interested in sex than women

And women are much more interested in interpersonal relationships than men. And?

so men who are going for equally attractive women

How on earth could you compare the attractiveness of a man to a woman?? Anyway, if you compare attractiveness, you should compare interpersonal communication skills as well, since relationships are not just about sex and attractiveness.

TheCounsellingGamer · 2022-11-15T01:49:41+00:00

I'm not sure if I've seen people claiming that dating is fair, at least not on here. There are very few things in life that are completely fair, why would dating be any different?

I keep seeing your comments that say "why would any sane man get into a relationship", and your premise seems to be that men supposedly are only dating women who are significantly less attractive than them. My first counter point to this would be to simply observe the world around you. If you look you'll see a variety of different couples. Some where they have similar levels of conventional attractiveness, others where there is some discrepancy.

My second and even bigger counter point is that there are lots of reasons why someone gets into a relationship beyond pure physical attraction. Don't get me wrong that's an important part, especially in the early stages. Love is based on more than just sex and attraction. If my partner got horrifically burned then I would still stay with him, despite the fact that he would no longer look the same. My love for him is based on who he is, not the way he looks. The fact that I find him super attractive is an awesome bonus, but it's not the reason why I stay with him.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-11-15T01:14:51+00:00

Who said it was fair?! No one said that. Like what person or Redditor said “ok now dating is fair!”

domdomdom333 · 2022-11-15T00:52:01+00:00

Dating was never meant to be fair in the first place. Why do you think mother nature makes boys more likely to be born.

MistyMaisel · 2022-11-15T02:48:17+00:00

Everyone else is ready to give up that dating is fair. I'm not. I think fair is different than "exactly the same" or "the same outcomes".

It's fair in the sense anyone can pretty much ask anyone else out.

It's fair in the sense that while men may (I stress may) be more interested in sex, women are more interested in meaningful relationships and meaningful sex and both are forced to sift and work to get what they want.

It's fair in the sense that while men may be less likely to succeed, they're in entirely less danger top to bottom during the searching process so that basically sorts itself out.

I think it's essentially even fair in that you generally speaking when holistically evaluating people see that people end up with people who are relatively at the same relationship value level.

And if it isn't fair, it seems pretty clear it's unfair to women more than men given the aforementioned danger, lost resources, and such.

I'm not saying there will be equality of outcome. Only stupid people want that in the first place. But equality of opportunity and the stresses involved are essentially equitable.

LiftSushiDallas · 2022-11-15T03:26:16+00:00

I'm going to stop you at your title.

Who told you that the dating market SHOULD be fair? Why do you think you have to prove it is unfair as if that should NOT be the default?

sunniyam · 2022-11-15T06:02:14+00:00

What a silly thing to say. One of the best feelings in the world is being around someone who cares for you and is as eager to see you as vice versa. I don’t find it creepy if a guy makes a effort to spend time with me etc if i like him. On the contrary its flattering and it makes me look forward to seeing them more but if its someone i am not interested in and have tried to subtly let them know then yes it can be a bit creepy. I Mean I don’t know if its the theme of “ courtship”per say you have a issue with but many woman appreciate a man who puts in the effort to get to know them without it being simply about ending in sex.

CarHungry · 2022-11-15T06:28:05+00:00

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

KirthWGersen · 2022-11-15T07:09:25+00:00

While I agree that men are generally more interested in sex than women, when a woman wants a man, her sex drive tends to increase considerably. She will cross oceans and overcome all kinds of challenges to be with him.

In the early stages of a relationship, when the man is keener than the woman (because he wants sex more), he can short-circuit that dynamic by having multiple options/partners and not committing to just one. The man's sex drive is fulfilled and he is far less open to manipulation by just one partner. In fact, it becomes impossible to manipulate him by withholding sex.

When a man lives in abundance - he either has other options, or knows from experience he can easily acquire them - it is then up to the woman to prove to him that she is the best option to spend his time on.

The dating market may or not be fair. But you get to choose the strategy that makes it work for you.

Substantial_Video560 · 2022-11-15T10:26:10+00:00

Since I gave up dating nearly ten years ago and found peace and acceptance within myself life is much better.

If I ever feel the need I'll just see an escort. Works for me.

As for dating nowadays it's not worth the time or effort.

1Here4Bach · 2022-11-15T13:00:49+00:00

The dating market was never suppose to be fair. The faster your make peace with that the better off you’ll be.

ToastsDad · 2022-11-15T01:46:06+00:00

My guy, the dating market isn’t fair. I don’t believe anyone thinks it is. It is skewed one way, that’s just how it is.

You can either be upset by it, or play the cards you’re delt.

C-rad06 · 2022-11-15T04:39:47+00:00

Bitter pill to swallow. In a vacuum looks matching is unfair but women have risk associated to sex that men do not and there’s no shortage of men as you mention you want to stick their dick in a hole, so women get to be more selective. Pretty much what it boils down to. Not as significant a factor nowadays in the west as women in their twenties all use birth control but still very valid.

If you’re not able to sleep with women you find attractive that’s a you problem. Either improve yourself or change your expectations by realizing you don’t live in a vacuum where looks are the only component to sexual relations.

Two practical and non-physical solutions for you to fix your looks match issue (if you feel like there’s nothing that can be done to make yourself more attractive) and one if you don’t want to change at all: focus on your financial success and work on impulse control + social skills. Alternatively just start smashing pudgy girls and learn to like it. Problems solved.

ffandyy · 2022-11-15T05:30:36+00:00

Nobody thinks or expects dating to be fair.. why would it be? Nothing is fair in life and you shouldn’t expect otherwise.

Foxuuf · 2022-11-15T14:25:11+00:00

Where is It stated that women dont want interested men? Genuine question

How do i approach if i don't have to look interested?

Longjumping_Ad_5143 · 2022-11-15T16:16:24+00:00

Yeah bro, an average man will find it harder to get laid than an average woman, that's why a man with a high body count is praised (because he's gotta work hard for it) and why a woman with a high body count is called a hoe(because she can get sex just for existing). So the best thing you can do is become an above average man so you can an average woman any day of the week. Hit the gym get a higher paying job, have a social circle, a hobby, work on yourself, do the hard thing and people are gonna admire you for that.

peach_emoji__ · 2022-11-15T02:46:41+00:00

So what, it’s not fair? Yeah men have issues in the dating market. But at least you’re not a woman that expires at 35. I’m 34, recently single, and a woman. I an accepting the fact that I’m finished goods at this point, no hope for me as all men want the women in their 20s.

insensitiveTwot · 2022-11-15T05:37:37+00:00

I can’t take anyone who genuinely believes men are more interested in sex than women seriously

RocinanteCoffee · 2022-11-15T03:17:20+00:00

it seems very clear that women do not want a man who is more interested than them. the women here even admit that. they find it creepy or desperate or whatever.

It's not clear at all. No interest levels in a couple will ever be a perfect match, and even when you break it down one might be more interested in big picture items (trips together, purchases together, sharing a drawer in each others' apartment or a key to each others' home) and one might be the more interested party when it comes to things like initiating sex. Even if they are very close in interest level as to be almost indistinguishable it's never going to be a perfect balance all the time, regardless of the genders involved in the couple.

thats fine and all but we all know men r much more interested in sex than women.

Not true, now you can't take a data sample from the r/deadbedrooms subreddit but there are plenty of women in there who are high libido who struggle with managing a relationship with a low libido partner.

palatine09 · 2022-11-15T09:58:15+00:00

Once you work out what capitalisation is, the chicks will come around.

obviousredflag · 2022-11-15T10:16:28+00:00

That's why men have only lots of sex when they choose women who are less attractive/desirable than themselves. Because then, the women are equally interested.

If you want to fuck a lot, date down for casual sex, as a man. You don't really care about how hot she is anyway.

IntegrityDJones · 2022-11-15T15:09:37+00:00

“Equally attractive women” lol….. I doubt it.

I knew y’all were unhinged about what’s considered average when some nutjob on here said Nina Dobrev was average. It explains so much.

alphasupremacy5555 · 2022-11-15T16:17:22+00:00

No women want sex just as much as men. I know it sounds hard to believe but it's true it's just that there are way less women who sexually desire men than men who sexually desire women. Women only sexually desire the top 4.8% of all men. The rest either ain't going to get as much if any or will simp out and pay for it.

The_Thrymm_of_Profit · 2022-11-15T00:40:03+00:00

You made the mistake of assuming women are honest with us. They aren't. If a guy they are attracted to wants to fuck them, they're fine with that. The lesson you need to learn is don't listen to women when it comes to dating because they have nothing of value to offer men in that realm.

Sauron_78 · 2022-11-15T15:05:26+00:00

so the higher the sex drive u have as a guy the harder this game is.

Stop watching porn. Burn all your energy working, exercising and meditating. Masturbate only based on imagination and only when you can't hold anymore. Preferably leave ejaculation for wet dream only.

Start valuing yourself based on stoic principles, reject female validation.

Once you sex drive has completely crashed then start talking to women again.

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waffleznstuff30 · 2022-11-15T03:28:07+00:00

Dating is not fair.

Life is not fair.

Dating isn't you can do all the right things but it's not it. You can do all the wrong things and then find yourself with someone and it works. It's pure luck really being at the right place at the right time and finding someone who works with you. Chance isn't fair because it's all chance.

slumberpuppet · 2022-11-15T11:01:00+00:00

I and I think most girls do want a guy who is very interested in them. But the reason it may not seem this way is because of how things are.

If people truly dated who they were compaitable with, then both parties would enjoy the reciprocation. But most people aren't single because they date to date. Manipulation is a thing too.

2022-11-15T12:27:30+00:00

I don't think men are more interested in sex. I think most of my friends have had some kind of bad relationship, experienced rape or assault etc. And are therefore weary. I like an interested man but I also don't want a relationship to mean much more to one person than the other, it needs to be equal-ish

HimNeutron · 2022-11-15T12:51:08+00:00

This is why women want a guy that’s better than them. Stronger, taller, better finances, etc.

EvaViaMusic · 2022-11-15T15:01:58+00:00

You are wrong.

The problem is that RECIPROCITY is important. Is it creepy when someone you just met messages you 70 times?

No. Not if you messaged them back all 70 times.

But YES! REALLY CREEPY if you didn't message them back and they just kept texting.

Reciprocity is important. I wouldn't want to be with someone I was more excited about than they were about me. I wouldn't want to be with someone who was more excited about me than I was about them.

The other this is, a lot of the time, It's Not That Girls Don't Like Guys Who Are "Desperate" or "Too Available." It's That You Ignored Her Boundaries.

mcove97 · 2022-11-15T16:13:57+00:00

Nothing to prove. Life ain't fair. Never was, never will be.

No-Calligrapher-3630 · 2022-11-15T18:37:31+00:00

Women don't want someone more interested than them..... I think most women (and men for that fact) don't want someone who is desperate or wants them a 10000x more than you want them. There's a balance. That if what I would find creepy. Most couples usually go through ups and downs of who's into who the most. But usually it doesn't matter... When you are in a healthy relationship of course because you both want no one else.

Men are much more interested in sex than women... We its more of a distribution that greatly overlaps, with little difference but I agree to some extent. But tbh even in that I would guess men are more open to stranger sex but women want more intimate sex. But guys can have that too.

I agree the dating market is unfair but not for those reasons.

HighestTierMaslow · 2022-11-15T19:40:22+00:00

"it seems very clear that women do not want a man who is more interested than them."

If she likes the man she wont care (happened to me several times, or at least these men SHOWED they liked me more than I did them)

I think you are naming instances where the girl really isnt interested.

Title	im gonna prove right with a very simple argument that the dating market is not fair
Author	Ok-Cupcake-2854
Upvotes	17
Comments	242
Date	November 15, 2022 12:31 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/yvhooz/im_gonna_prove_right_with_a_very_simple_argument/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/im-gonna-prove-right-with-a-very-simple-argument.1139811 https://theredarchive.com/post/1139811

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