Opt for options or Settle for scarcity?

flapperfemmefatale · 2022-05-28T20:13:12+00:00

A. I'm not sure B actually loves me, or is just settling.

DorianneGrey · 2022-05-28T20:29:53+00:00

Everyone is replaceable. Everyone.

It might hurt a lot, it might be really hard to move on, but there’s no “one true love”, there are many possible loves of many different kinds. There are seasons of love, the intensity of “first love”, the hard work of marital love, the comfort and ease of mature love and a thousand shades in between.

Being “attracted” to a person is just one small piece of any of those. It ebbs and flows throughout life and life’s challenges and joys.

Also, FFS, pedestals are for statues, not real flawed messy lovable and loving people.

People want someone who “gets” them, who they can trust with their heart, their hurts and their dreams. A partner.

ashpr0ulx · 2022-05-28T20:08:49+00:00

A. pedestals are lonely places.

Blame_the_Muse · 2022-05-28T20:17:20+00:00

If I'm replaceable to Option A, why does he love me enough to marry me?

KekeSmall · 2022-05-28T20:31:08+00:00

A.. Men are replaceable too by the way. Literally everyone is.. A true respectable man wouldn’t hold that over your head anyway. So why should that matter?

januaryphilosopher · 2022-05-28T20:50:34+00:00

Man B. I don't care about his options and so long as he's cute looks don't matter very much. I want someone who I can love and who loves me, not someone who sees me as replaceable. (I'm assuming you're only talking about attractiveness in terms of looks here.)

januaryphilosopher · 2022-05-28T20:35:35+00:00

Lol B describes my love in a nutshell. I personally think he's gorgeous but my best friend described him as "kinda cute." I'm also his first GF. He's a rare soul; a lot of women don't see how beautiful he is.

Kaleidoscopiquant · 2022-05-28T22:21:37+00:00

A. I want a man who's chosen me, not one who's with me out of desperation

Financial_Leave4411 · 2022-05-28T20:53:18+00:00

B. I want a guy who really loves me like I love him and isn’t being tempted to cheat or think I’m not good enough because I only offer him 80% of what he wants and needs when he sees the 20% he is missing walk by.

GlowingAsItDazzles · 2022-05-28T21:50:34+00:00

i have never once dated any man and NOT thought i was "replacable". i do not want some desperate loser man with no options and i dont want to be on a pedestal

who thinks like this

xsurferdude123x · 2022-05-29T00:48:01+00:00

Tough pill to swallow….but

EVERYONE is replaceable.

goatismycopilot · 2022-05-28T20:39:51+00:00

Everybody is replaceable.

teamdeathmatch1787 · 2022-05-28T22:44:12+00:00

A. Learned my lesson with being put on a pedestal. I want the guy who’s choosing me because he wants to and not because he has to

Reisiluu · 2022-05-29T06:26:10+00:00

It would be flattering to be chosen by man A but the truth is he would only be choosing me for now. Those are the same men who are parroting "Everyone's replaceable" in this thread and who are divorced or dating their 10th girlfriend.

So I'd choose B. My man is not replaceable at all. If I lost him my life would never be the same. It feels nice to put each other on a pedestal and simp for each other.

sabiinvesting · 2022-05-28T20:48:35+00:00

I would never be with a man who didn't actively choose to be with me. The more quality options he has, the better. That is a much better indicator of his appreciation for me when he has chosen me for what I am. I don't want to be put on a higher pedestal. That's just weird in a relationship. And sure, if I am not right for him, he should leave.

sarkington · 2022-05-28T21:17:11+00:00

If A really loved me (as much as B) why would I be replaceable?

And I don’t like pedestals or lack of options

extrachromozomes · 2022-05-28T22:19:40+00:00

Ok_Plant513 · 2022-05-28T22:59:26+00:00

Option A. B sounds like he doesnt actually loves me, he would love the idea of me.

ruboyuri · 2022-05-28T23:27:39+00:00

A man who can/will replace me doesn’t love me, so B

Which is the lesser of two evils

Comprehensive_Bed314 · 2022-05-28T20:47:06+00:00

Neither.

Here’s what I’d have: A man that I’m highly attracted to who is highly attracted to me. A guy who is irreplaceable for me and thinks I’m irreplaceable. The ultimate best friend. The ultimate partner.

Otherwise, I’ll stay single and adopt a kid. Plus, I have the love of my family and friendship of friends. Life is swell.

I think I’m beautiful, smart, multitalented, and have a great personality. Ya, I’m a pretty proud person. I’m not arrogant though.

avoriure · 2022-05-28T23:45:28+00:00

A because if we love each other, i’m not gonna be thinking about being replaced. i could replace him too.

i would just enjoy the experience of loving someone who loves me too and who also is really attractive 😎

sublimemongrel · 2022-05-28T23:57:17+00:00

I mean A, I’m also an A why would I not want that

Orange_Paisley · 2022-05-29T02:01:16+00:00

I can’t answer that question without knowing details about these two men. I’ve dated both types btw.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-05-29T03:26:36+00:00

A. Everyone's replaceable.

Slight_Fig5187 · 2022-05-29T01:56:48+00:00

I was with an A for many years. Eventually the infatuation of love and sex of the first months/years wears off and what's left is the constant agony of suspecting he's cheating. Which he most probably was. And a person who thinks you're replaceable will start treating you with lack of respect sooner or later. I left him and was hugely relieved.

I would love to find a B, although I don't like the idea of the pedestal at all or the idea of me being the only thing he can get; rather that we are a reasonable match and that both of us are thankful to life that we found each other, because we have a realistic idea of what our chances are. I think working from a basis of attraction, respect and emotional intelligence there's a lot that can be built and which can lead to a really pleasant life together.

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MrMushySauce · 2022-05-28T20:40:02+00:00

The feminine side of me says I would pick Option A if I was a girl. Does that count?

RinoaRita · 2022-05-29T01:34:44+00:00

I would say a. I want my guy to have options and decide I’m the one. Yeah no one is that special and there’s tons of people but you can be special to that person. And if you think that highly of them they’re special to you. So it makes you appreciate each other.

Hell even I’m delusional and who I think is my guy A doesn’t actually have options I would rather be under that illusion he does. And no one benefits by telling me actually he’s a B type guy if I’m thinking he’s A.

wineandchillax · 2022-05-29T02:13:34+00:00

Would rather go with a A. This guy most likely is with me because he likes me, not because he had to.

DivineDaedra · 2022-05-29T02:22:44+00:00

A. I don’t want my partner putting me on a pedestal—I want to feel like we chose each other.

Willow-girl · 2022-05-29T03:38:38+00:00

That's way too calculating ... attraction doesn't work like that for me.

SouthernGrass3 · 2022-05-29T04:16:00+00:00

Potentially B, depending on what “kinda cute means” (If it means slightly more attractive than the average dude in my area [overweight and not well put together] , I’m probably not to find him attractive) and depending on if I’m the best or the only one I’m going to get- best is fine, but if I’m the only one he’s going to get, that’s a red flag

neetykeeno · 2022-05-29T04:33:36+00:00

Neither. Same shit different bull.

HumanNumber348 · 2022-05-29T07:35:08+00:00

I would choose A even if I was equally attracted to them. You can be almost 100% certain that A isn’t settling. Not so much with B. And who wants to be on a pedestal?

Catherine772023 · 2022-05-29T11:20:57+00:00

Best/only one he’s going to get implies he’s settling for me.

I think I don’t want marriage but for dating I would want someone in between.

Not stressed by him having too many options but I don’t want him to be with me because he’s settling because he can’t get anyone else. Nope.

no_usernameeeeeee · 2022-05-29T18:55:55+00:00

A man putting you on a pedestal isn’t always a good thing, most of the time because you are still a flawed human being and that pedestal comes with tons of expectations that cannot be fulfilled.

Respect from a man is way more valuable and that’s what will really define how he will treat you. So if guy #1 respects me, then i’d choose him. I have options myself, so the love and respect is what matters on both sides. Just because someone has options doesn’t mean they see you as replaceable either. You might have access to all types of food, doesn’t change that you favorite food is one specific dish, one that you’d go back to everyday. Probably shitty example but you get the point. You choose & love your partner because they are special to you despite the options.

Littlebirdddy · 2022-05-30T01:44:27+00:00

A. He’s replaceable too

Title	Opt for options or Settle for scarcity?
Author	PlayfulLawyer
Upvotes	5
Comments	125
Date	May 28, 2022 8:07 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/uzv3ae/opt_for_options_or_settle_for_scarcity/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/opt-for-options-or-settle-for-scarcity.1118227 https://theredarchive.com/post/1118227

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