The rationalize behind a a guy paying for a date is similar to a girl having sex with a guy

KirthWGersen · 2021-11-16T11:24:50+00:00

If women think a guy paying for a date is a sign he is genuinely interested, they are setting themselves up for disappointment. It is never a good idea to divine motivations from actions in the short term.

All it means is that the guy is willing to pay for a meal.

This could be because: he has plenty of cash and doesn't care; he has little cash but is bad at handling his finances; he just wants to have sex and is willing to pay for it; he thinks he is supposed to (and may be happy to or resentful); he is submissive and subservient by nature; he does nice things to manipulate others; he did it out of habit; he was too embarrassed to say what he really wanted; he could not stand the woman and wanted to get out of there as fast as possible without causing a scene; and a whole host of other reasons, good and bad.

Just like if a man thinks a women having sex with him thinks she must really like him. It is more likely that she is just horny, fancies having sex, and plans never to see him again.

januaryphilosopher · 2021-11-16T08:46:24+00:00

Having sex with someone is mutually beneficial, whereas paying for someone else isn't. Fundamentally they're different.

CatoftheBanals · 2021-11-16T06:24:31+00:00

I think investing time and attention in a woman is a better way of “paying” than footing a dinner bill.

You might sleep with a guy after a date that was a long walk and another that was a simple picnic. Depends on the emotional connection. Has nothing to do with money.

xFallacyx69 · 2021-11-16T12:48:03+00:00

Both people need to stop relying on other people for validation. Pay 50/50 on dates or you’re an escort in denial. Make every effort to make her cum as much as you do or you’re a John

-CuriousPanda- · 2021-11-16T15:35:17+00:00

Look, I’m a reasonable person, but I also hate dating “games” and am very glad to be married. If I were to date again, I would really really appreciate the girl splitting the check on the first date bc it shows she’s not just using me for free food - something that happens quite a lot to guys these days. If she’s interested in me and actually wants to continue dating then I’d be willing to start fulfilling the “provider role” or whatever, but if it becomes evident she’s not into me or there’s a significant sexual incompatibility I’d decide to end things. I think there’s some basic premises RP got correct if you can cut through the bitter misogyny to see it. Men generally prioritize sex, women generally prioritize status, looks, money, and good companionship. This means the relationship, at some level, will always be slightly transactional. But you don’t hate your barber or grocer bc your relationship with them is transactional. People need to understand our inherent sexual differences and learn to live with them cheerfully instead of becoming hateful just because we’re different and have slightly different wants.

OneDumbPony · 2021-11-16T05:50:18+00:00

I think paying an extra $20-$30 is a bit different than undressing, showing every part of your body, and having s3x with someone.

I also believe its safer that both parties pay for their own meals (so certain scumbags can't use it as a way to manipulate someone), or the person who asked their crush out should be the one paying.

Gabrielvrape · 2021-11-16T06:18:03+00:00

No, it's not. Women will sleep with men who do not pay for the date all the time it has to do with how attractive you are. Women want you to pay for the date because they just don't want to spend their own money, it's not that deep. So this logic that women get wet when men pay for their dinner is irrelevant and needs to be put to bed.

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2021-11-16T08:22:44+00:00

There is a whole lot of difference. Sex is a child-making act with very high risk for the woman. Not least in this day and age of video cams and leaked sex tapes.

Yes, I am literally saying that way more guy secretly tape girls than girls that tape guys. How do I know? 4chan, toilet taping perverts in S-Korea, crime stats and experience.

Hard_Thruster · 2021-11-16T07:32:22+00:00

Women had a lot more to lose from having sex, so courting that involve considerable investment by the male usually balances out the equation. It also signifies that he's there for the long haul.

I know we have contraceptives and ways to minimize these risks for women, but our behavior is largely based on our evolutionary programming and there us no way around it.

-Giga- · 2021-11-16T10:07:08+00:00

A lot of girls find it comforting when a guy pays for the date. It signals that he is genuinely invested in the girl and not just there for hookups.

While yes, that feels great

It's more like low effort, low value men are so ubiquitous these days as they fall apart that a lot of the ones you run into have not been tempered for patience, energy, nor can they afford to waste your time.

Men literally teach each other to budget batches of shots at easy pussy by instructing men to prey in their own zip code, neg, for nothing more than the price of coffee.

It's such a low and easy metric that you already know any modern male trying to run "50/50" scams or argue about being "egalitarian" while trying to get some pussy doesn't see you as worth the effort. They just wanna fuck.

No such thing as a man who really wants something opting to signal the behavior of non competitive low value men.

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-11-16T06:00:47+00:00

You don't have to lay to show that you are interested in someone as a person. You can be simply interested in her as a person.

jonascf · 2021-11-16T19:28:25+00:00

It signals that he is genuinely invested in the girl and not just there for hookups. It signals that he's not a fuckboy and a gentleman with good intentions

I signal that by being a good listener and making her understand that I'm genuinely interested in getting to know her, not by paying for her stuff.

Vicky-3 · 2021-11-16T19:47:38+00:00

The rub: women ARE ALSO validated by sex, that’s the secret they don’t tell to the average guy whom they use for attention and gifts.

ImNotJoshAllen · 2021-11-16T21:16:32+00:00

Hahah this is always an interesting topic to me, but less so paying for dates and more just taking them out on dates. It’s interesting that a man is expected to give of his time and attention (which are valuable to women) in order to court her/get to know her better, but it’s incredibly taboo for a man to expect anything physical (which is valuable to men) with a woman after he has spent his time/attention/money. Now I’m NOT saying anyone is entitled to anyone’s body at all, but why is it frowned upon when a man expresses his displeasure with no physical affection after a date? You came into this date valuing time and attention, I came in valuing physical intimacy. Only one of us gets to be upset if they don’t get what they’re looking for, and it ain’t me.

HedgeRunner · 2021-11-17T03:11:06+00:00

Both assumptions are... respectfully... delusional.

Playstayshan5 · 2021-11-16T06:53:45+00:00

Paying for the meal doesn’t mean you’re not a fuckboy. If you pay and expect to fuck you’re a fuckboy. Not paying doesn’t mean you’re not a gentleman but if you ask her out and don’t pay you’re not a gentleman. If she asks you out you don’t have to pay and you’re not a fuckboy for not paying. If you ask them out you be a gentleman (or women) and pay.

nemma88 · 2021-11-16T09:31:24+00:00

I think the premise is right but the severity between the two are very different. Like sex is a more personal and vulnerable activity than buying food.

PopularBug5 · 2021-11-16T10:00:39+00:00

lol no. Girls who insist on guys paying for the dates - in particular first dates, are either A - gold diggers B - pumped and dumped alpha widows upping her 'standards' or C - simply from a culture that encourages guys paying for the dates like in the Anglosphere.

If he is genuinely invested in the girl, he wouldn't bring her to restaurants and pay for dinners. He would invite her home and cook her dinner. That's the real way to melt her heart and moisten her pussy with food.

Gigamon2014 · 2021-11-16T11:10:55+00:00

Where the fuck are you guys meeting these women?

I actually like paying for dates. I can afford to and I like being able to show a bit of chivalry. Back when I was single I actually found a lot of women disliked the idea of a guy paying for their food. Unless you're utterly unattractive, a lot of women these days claim that a man paying for their date makes them feel like they're not on an equal footing.

The crazy thing about all these discussions is that I feel there has never been a better time to be a shlubby, broke guy these days. Especially when it comes to dating younger women. I probably fucked around the most when I didn't have a penny in my pocket. But it does mean you at least have to take care of yourself somewhat physically. A lot of these discussion kinda show just how behind some of you are when it comes to wider cultural discourse among young people (the consequence of spending so much time consuming reality through a messageboard). Taking care of your appearance and investing in some decent clothing will get you much further than paying for a date.

lybid8 · 2021-11-16T23:13:56+00:00

This is a message for all men - don’t complain she won’t have sex with you when you’ve done nothing to turn her on. Women need more than a nice looking face/body to desire sex in most cases ie displays of generosity and good character.

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Elevatedheart · 2021-11-16T11:55:22+00:00

I think guys pay for dates because they see it as proof they can provide. Since providing is something that is important to them. A gentleman that’s actually serious about a woman, will hold off on sex also.

sublimemongrel · 2021-11-16T12:09:19+00:00

It’s showing investment, sure. But there are obvious differences. Sex is a lot riskier and intimate, for example.

AquaChip · 2021-11-16T15:36:19+00:00

I think you’re correct. It shows investment.

AbbreviationsHot1200 · 2021-11-17T05:19:33+00:00

A man's wallet and woman's vagina are the same thing.

Lateralanouncer · 2021-11-17T08:26:15+00:00

Men are the gate keepers of commitment resources etc. A Man paying is him trying demonstrate his beta bucks abilities.

Educational-Ad6210 · 2021-11-16T16:13:32+00:00

A guy paying for my food on a date is him simply paying for my time. If I pay for myself, I might as well go out with a friend, without my friend staring at my breasts and having weird expectations.

I don’t understand which part of this is not clear.

Title	The rationalize behind a a guy paying for a date is similar to a girl having sex with a guy
Author	d0ornokey
Upvotes	2
Comments	200
Date	November 16, 2021 5:45 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/qv0r25/the_rationalize_behind_a_a_guy_paying_for_a_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-rationalize-behind-a-a-guy-paying-for-a-date.1083839 https://theredarchive.com/post/1083839

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