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What do you think is the best solution for dismantling the supposed "patriarchy"?

mrbonee69 · 2026-01-24T13:47:49+00:00

In light of my other post about the supposed "patriarchy", I would like to know what you think the best solution for dismantling the...

mrbonee69

January 24, 2026

2 upvotes

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Post Information

Title	What do you think is the best solution for dismantling the supposed "patriarchy"?
Author	mrbonee69
Upvotes	2
Comments	207
Date	January 24, 2026 1:47 PM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1qlney6/what_do_you_think_is_the_best_solution_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-do-you-think-is-the-best-solution-for.1571857 https://theredarchive.com/post/1571857

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[–]Lemon_geckoPill-fluid Woman 13 points14 points15 points 6 months ago (6 children) | Copy Link

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But also all the women on reddit who say "I can't ask the man out or he'll think I'm a whore".

I think the vast, vast majority of men would love to be asked out by a woman. Obviously they'd want it to be a woman they find attractive, but if its an attractive woman who asked them out instead of them asking her out they will be quite happy. It will show that she has a genuine desire for him which is often hard to find. This mentality is something that women generally impose on themselves, either due to not wanting to have to put the effort in to ask guys out, being nervous about it (something men certainly fear as well) or intra gender competition where they want other women to fail so they can succeed.

and they very often are shamed for having feelings or behaving in ways that aren't stereotypically masculine.

It's women doing the shaming though. Men are shamed for having feelings because women feel disgust over it and lose attraction. This may be the single biggest example of to not listen to what a woman says but to watch what she does. Women say they want emotional men. Then they lose all attraction to men who are emotional.

These are certainly both problems, but patriarchy isn't causing these. Women's behavior is largely responsible for it.

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[–]stuffesonNo Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago (11 children) | Copy Link

Breast milk is better than formula for you babies, look through the science.

I am not contradicting myself. And you would know this if you would have had a baby. At the early stages, the baby is essentially stuck to the mother almost 24/7. The baby need a lot of attention and affection from the mother. At that time its not like the father is doing "nothing", what the father does is bring in resources (money) in order so the family can survive. This is a really important part of parenting. So when you are saying there is one "primary" parent, you are neglecting all the other duties that tends to fall more on the man when the mom is with the infant. They are both equal parents, but they split the "parenting" duties into something that is more logical.

The reason why its more logical for women to be with the infant is that there are a lot of specific hormones that women get whilst pregnant, after delivery, and when breastfeeding that prepares them to take care of the baby and creates a bond closer with the baby. We men DONT have this. Trying to inverse this and pry the baby out of the mothers arms just because you have an ideological "fancy" that is completely detached from reality is a bit retarded. Let moms be moms.

[–]velvetalocasiaBlue Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]stuffesonNo Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago (9 children) | Copy Link

You are literally advocating for weakening father-baby-bond on a biological level…..but thats quite typical for men.

I could say you are doing the exact same thing for women youknow. ;) I agree that dads should of course be skin to skin with their babies, so you are strawmanning.

When it comes to hormones I am not wrong. As you implied about childbirth and breastfeeding. And you forgot during pregnancy. Dads dont have those hormones to the same degree.

Well it isnt true that skin to skin contact is the only way to get oxytocin for men with their babies.

I've had a wife who had used a breastpump for every of our kids. Try it yourself, and try to work fulltime at the same time and see how practical it is. Of course its better than nothing, but it is extremly far from practical or the optimal. Normal breastfeeding is in my humble opinion far more practical, if it works well. For some women it is difficult, then of course a breastpump, or lastly formula are reliable options.

[–]velvetalocasia1 point 6 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

You are wrong because you said there were a „lot of hormones“…. Thats wrong, it’s one thats relevant here, oxytocin. And also „we men don’t have this“…..thats also wrong, You have the exact same hormon. You get it through skin to skin and you also get it through your partners pregnancy: „ men experience significant increases in oxytocin—the "bonding hormone"—during their partner's pregnancy, helping them prepare for fatherhood by fostering nurturing behaviors and emotional closeness. This surge, often paired with a drop in testosterone, aligns the couple's hormonal levels to form a supportive "parenting team". https://www.henryford.com/Blog/2019/11/Dad-Bod-What-You-Should-Know

https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn19169-bumpology-men-go-through-pregnancy-too/

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0018506X25000662

I don’t know what to tell you….but no, nobody needs to be „the mother“ but both need to be parents.

[–]stuffeson1 point 6 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]velvetalocasia1 point 6 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]stuffeson1 point 6 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Oxytocin works differently in men and women, and interacts with different hormones in men and women. With men as I understand it, vasopressin has more similar effect as oxytocin has in women.

" Key Differences in Oxytocin Function:

Social Perception and Bonding: In women, oxytocin enhances the recognition of positive social cues, kinship, and facilitates bonding, particularly related to maternal care and relationships. In men, it is more closely linked to identifying competitive relationships, navigating social hierarchies, and in some cases, promoting protective or avoidance behavior toward strangers."

But now i see where the problem is. You are completely misunderstanding my argument. I've never claimed that the mother is the only one bonding with the kid. Thats obviously not true. But for example breastmilk is better than formula. That has nothing at all to do with bonding or oxytocin. So the reason why you wanna keep everything back to oxytocin is because thats the only way your argument holds true. And even that doesnt hold true because oxytocin works differently in men and women.

[–]velvetalocasia1 point 6 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]stuffeson1 point 6 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

And that is false, the Baby needs care givers who bond with baby…..the sex of the caregiver does not matter.

How the dad / mom bonds with the baby is differentwith different hormones through different mechanisms. What you would notice from looking at real life is this. When women give birth they have a HUGE rush of different hormones that makes them bond with babies, which they also get through breastfeeding(prolactin). Men do NOT get this rush. Therefore the standard pattern with dads is that they do not bond instantly with the infant, a dads bond with the child tends to grow gradually as the dad plays/interacts with the kid when the kid gets bigger.

I didnt ignore the pump or the formula. I am just saying that formula is worse than breastmilk, and breastpump is highly impractical if you are working. :)

But what to expect you seemingly also think doing women things makes you somehow less masculine.

I have never said such a thing. There are plenty of things that men and women do equally well with small children. But there are some things we do differently, some things men do better, some things women do better. And I would say we should lean into our strengths to the extent that we can and want to do it.

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Incorrect. Slaves were definitely not happy not having to think or make decisions. However, people now want to not think or make decisions, and to put it in control of billionaires. That's what they want. As someone who lost everything twice, then climbed out of it, I absolutely disagree. People beg for hierarchy and regularly sell out their own middle-class people for a high five from the rich, or from their manager at work, the same one who will also later be led out with a box. People even support wage theft by working elections for free when there are multiple paid positions, and try to convince their friends to do the same and to donate the little amount of money to their candidate because they think they'll get a high five.

They get the middle-class people they don't like reported at work and push their fellow middle-class people out of the way to beg for attention from billionaires like Taylor Swift, Elon Musk, Altman, and the rest.

During the time of slavery, there weren't billionaires that the middle class were trying to elevate in hopes of getting attention. There were no higher positions or project kudos that slaves would use an excuse for selling out their own people. There was certainly a class war, but one included horrors and human rights violations.

It is sad that basic needs are controversial when they apply to the oppressed. However, if people didn't want that, they wouldn't be selling out people from their own class, and would be dethroning the class of the rich

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Thanks for bringing that one up, the main source of Norway's GDP is gas and oil, not their technological innovation. They haven't really invented or done anything useful to compete against the major world players like the US or China or Russia, they're entirely dependent on larger entities like the US playing nice to stay safe. And if the world shifts to cleaner energy sources they're also fucked, because again they haven't really innovated anything. If Russia decides to invade them and given they've not really invested in their military or have major defense companies that can compete with higher powers, if the benevolent capitalist countries like the US decide to no longer let them leech off us, they're also fucked. Norway is the SAH trad wife of the world, it works till it doesn't and entirely depends on other people being like "aww you're cute, I'lll take care of you!!"

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If you want to see the results of a “dismantled patriarchy,” just look at the black American community. It’s essentially a matriarchy resulting from a systematic dismantling of natural patriarchy largely via Johnson’s Great Society and its massive expansion of the social welfare system, helped along by the radical socialist nature of the “Black Power” movement of the 1970s.

Over my life I had the distinct horror of watching that dismantling and the rise of the black American matriarchy wreak havoc on the neighborhoods in which my parents had grown up and in which my grandparents still lived and utterly destroy those parts of my own extended family that got caught up in it.

As of today, two generations later, my extended family is still starkly divided along the lines of those parts of it which maintained a patriarchal tradition, stayed out of the welfare system, and rose out of poverty to significant economic success and those parts of it which became matriarchal and remain mired in cycles of poverty and dysfunction in matriarchal communities.

I thank God that I was born into a part which stayed patriarchal.

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Women can choose to invest their money into woman run companies. They can choose to only buy from women owned businesses. Only give business loans to women using their own money, the same way men would only invest in men run businesses. Set up a woman run bank, and get women's deposits, and loan that money to women wanting business loans.

Then, we can compare that to the patriarchy.

As long as they never force men to be taxed to fund these businesses, or forced to invest, or forced to be laborers, to these women run banks and businesses.

And these women aren't allowed to use any of men's technology. No John Deere farm equipment, no computers until you design, fabricate, and operate the equipment and computers and Software that men made. Surely since men's and women are equal, then women should, on their own, reach the same level of prosperity that men have created.

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[–]theminxisbackPills are weird 😵‍💫 woman 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago (6 children) | Copy Link

I've thought about this most of my life. Raise children in homes where they have freedom of choice, are given full autonomy, their own bill of rights that is actually followed.

Teaching sex positive sex ed instead of abstinence only or a lack thereof sex ed. Or solely relying on teachers/parents/peers to teach your children about healthy, safe and consensual sex.

Don't invalidate a child's emotions when they are young. Perform more "lighthouse parenting" type techniques and actually show healthy and supportive skills. Instead of repeating the same toxic behavior patterns throughout history.

"Being the change". Remembering that kindness is free and costs you nothing. That it truly does *pay* to be an asshole. In some way, shape, or form. Dismantling the system in place means going deep. Very deep. To the core root of the problem.

Which starts at toddler age. According to my psychological behavioral observations over the span of my lifetime and conversations and research I've conducted over the years.

How do we dismantle patriarchy?

We start raising all children in a healthy and stable way. Versus continuing to pursue the same borderline psychopathic system we've all followed for thousands of years. It's dated. It's old. It's redundant. And quite frankly. Never should've existed in the first place. Whichever man's bright idea it was thousands of years ago (one of the Khan's if I remember correctly...) to Conquer lands, civilians and, well.. To put it simply, *THE PLANET*... Did not think things through. Clearly.

Patriarchy starts by dismantling the human beings we are inside. It begins before we are even truly able to grasp what the concept of "patriarchy" is. It takes our childhoods away from us. Manipulates our adolescent years. And then puts us on a burner for most of our adult lives. It's a vicious and repetitious cycle. That can only be "dismantled", by doing the opposite of what we have *been* doing when raising our *CHILDREN* as a whole. Stop dismantling the child inside. And then you will start to dismantle patriarchy as a result. It starts within first. It takes a lot of breaking down. And self work. Soul searching, so to speak.

[–]theminxisbackPills are weird 😵‍💫 woman 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Anyway...

Stop invalidating children. Stop telling kids they can't or shouldn't cry. Stop making passive threats at them when they don't outright or blindly "obey" you. It starts as children. For fucks sake. Why doesn't anyone actually think about the way we collectively raise our damn kids as a global community of fucking people???

Hold your children when they cry. Don't make them face their pain alone or, "cry it out". This is the way to teaching children to abandon themselves as adults. Which then induces a fear of abandonment. Which then creates a massive impact and ricochet event over time. We don't "raise" our kids anymore it seems. Have the hard conversations. Answer their questions 100 times over. Let them be curious about the world. Let them cry, scream, rage, laugh. Give them the freedom to express who they are. Express their emotions (energy-in-motion) in healthy and constructive ways (art, music, no-contact or minimal contact sports, dance, self defense classes, etc). More could be said...

If you have sons now?

Let them *feel*. Help them identify their emotions and understand what each emotion is like. How they may experience said emotion. Being able to identify the wide array of emotions on the wheel is crucial for personal identity and social development later on in life. Especially for males given the circumstances of history. Finding healthier ways to express is very important as well. Teach them how to respect and value themselves and their peers.

So much needs to be undone.

If you have daughters?

Teach them how to defend themselves. How to stand their ground. What manipulation tactics look like and how to observe public spaces and learn how to discern and navigate potential male threats to her safety. Teach her the difference between a good person and a wolf in sheep's clothing. Give her the ability to fully express herself and the ways she feels the most joy. Give her the space to "let it out". Most importantly... Teach her that "No" is a full sentence. She doesn't have to explain herself for any reason under the sun. And that the absence of a "No" is not a clear indication of a "Yes". She has choices, she can make them without fear or guilt.

Now, in many ways this applies to all parties... In others, they're more specific to current days and what needs to be facilitated for positive change to happen going forward.

I have also thought about this tidbit for adults...

If men could focus inward for a while. Focus on where and who you are/want to be. What you want in life. Focus on self-love, self-care, giving yourself the emotional support you lack in other relationships in life. If they could calm down and stop pursuing us for a while. Let us be. Stop chasing. It's honestly revolting to watch. The sausage fests everywhere outside in spaces that are supposed to be safer for women... it's so frustrating. I personally can't go anywhere without a man with me. Otherwise, dudes will *literally* do the craziest fucking shit to get my attention when I go out on my own to events. It's annoying. Leave me be. I want to enjoy myself. So do other women.

[–]theminxisbackPills are weird 😵‍💫 woman 2 points3 points4 points 6 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

If we wanted to talk to you, we would. Stop complaining about things you don't even really know anything about. Stop thinking a woman "owes you something" because you were "nice" to her. Newsflash. We are used to "nice". What we are *not used to* is genuine kindness out of the goodness of one's heart. A man with a heart of gold. A man who loves and endures and actually makes a real effort to show he cares and doesn't just want us for selfish gains of his own or others around him. Y'all make it seem like we are asking for the most difficult and worst things.

In reality, all we want is basic human decency and to be understood.

Which, doesn't that sound familiar to the lot of you?

Is it hard to grasp that in a round about way we all want to be cared about and seen? Valued for things other than materials or superficial means?

We've made this world this way. We can start the process of correcting where we have gone wrong. I highly suggest anyone look into DBT therapy. It has been known to be quite helpful in cases of those with ptsd, substance use history, bpd and even good as a basic practice, really. Teaches how to balance your mind and emotions. I personally believe this could help society a lot. If more people were able to balance themselves. We wouldn't have so much fuckin chaos everywhere.

To love is to prepare to be hurt. Many of us sabotage relationships without even realizing it until its too late. The key is to start to identify the patterns within yourselves and those around you. Start there. The rest of the pieces follow suit.

There is so much I could say on this topic.

Bottom line...

Do better as a people. For fucks sake. Stop being so selfish and superficial to yourselves and each other. Raise your children better. Find your own happiness first. Then find happiness with others. Be your own best friend, cheerleader and confidant. Then learn how to be that for others without wanting something in return. Take care of yourselves. Love yourselves. It starts within. We all have a part to play in this. And can all work to slowly but surely make things better for everyone. I believe that, anyway.

Women create life. We can't have more children without having women. We need to support our mothers, if we want to have a happy and healthy society, we must take care of the people who carry our future. Do people forget that or are they intentionally acting blind to the fact women literally do control the fate of the future of our civilization in their hands? The amount of control we have... We are choosing natural selection right now. Due to the systems in place. We need to do better. We can do better than this. Value yourselves. Value your partners. Love your women. Fuck.

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[–]leosandlattes1 point 6 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

For whatever reason you deleted your comment so I’m answering you here:

I am one of the women who do not mind the patriarchy, rule of the father, whatever you want to call it. Duh, I am flaired red pill woman. I don’t think there’s a best alternative, otherwise I would have said that in my comment.

The world is hierarchical; societies across time have organized themselves in hierarchical ways as they grow in size, population, and complexity, and I think this is a natural development. The utopia of equality does not exist, and perhaps did/does in small scale nomadic bands and tribes, but certainly not in complex, highly specialized civilizations.

For all intents and purposes, dismantling the patriarchy means complete societal upheaval and restructuring cultural norms, and I think this is a fruitless effort.

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