Why don’t the men who constantly complain about women dating based only on appearance just go after better women?

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2023-11-02T15:42:09+00:00

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obviousredflag · 2023-11-02T12:03:07+00:00

Because men also don't want to settle. Both sexes have a goal partner in mind that is out of reach realistically, and dating app dynamics, "beauty is subjective" and other societal influences suggest to them, that it's better to keep looking and hoping, than to realize that one is not going to be a relationship candidate for the people one desires.

Both men and women focus messages and likes on people who are outside their league. They overcome their fear of rejection only for the more desirable people and risk an approach. Why would one approach a woman one regards as settling material and risk getting rejected by someone "below oneself" for extra hurt of ego?

It's a myth that less attractive men or women are morally superior in any way.

So why bother going after them, when there are plenty of women out there who are more than happy to look past appearances for an emotionally stable man who would make a good partner?

Because men and women hope to find the more attractive, emotionally mature and well off partner, who somehow looks past appearances or subjectively thinks oneself is the most attractive guy/girl in the world.

Aafan_Barbarro · 2023-11-02T11:45:36+00:00

Never seen so much gaslighting in one post.

plenty of woman more than happy to look past appearances for an emotionally stable man who would make a good partner?

Relationship needs mutual attraction.

wtknight · 2023-11-02T12:18:19+00:00

Are there women out there who don’t consider looks as an important factor? I’m an older guy. I don’t think that many young women in their early 20s would hypothetically date me if I were single. Why? Because I look like an older guy.

And the ones who would ignore my looks largely would want to date just for money, and that’s probably even more superficial.

Yes, women do consider other things besides looks. But looks are what get a man’s foot in the door when it comes to attracting women. Most women don’t want to live in ugly houses in good neighborhoods, or to drive ugly cars that are reliable and run well. Aesthetics are important, and it’s very difficult for a man to be aesthetically unappealing and to still attract women.

Of course, there is much a man can to do to make himself more aesthetically appealing, and I believe that not enough men are working hard enough in this aspect, which is a big reason why they continue to fail.

Creation_Soul · 2023-11-02T12:04:41+00:00

there are a few things to consider:

imperfect information: you have no real way of determining what kind of person anyone is. Basically, you cannot look at a woman (or man for that matter) and say for sure if she is relationship material or not
attraction still counts. even if you find such a person, they must still like you and you like them back
not everybody is available. as time goes on, relationship type people tend to pair off and they are basically off-the-market so people who are still single tend to be (on average) less relationship material than the population as a whole.

meisterkraus · 2023-11-02T12:27:37+00:00

Here is the problem: As a man you first need to pass a minimum level of looks before you are allowed to show off your emotional maturity/intelligence.

So I will agree that there are a lot of women out there looking for men with high EQ. There are very few women that put EQ significantly over looks, money, or lifestyle. Now this is not a problem in of itself but can cause difficulties for men.

When we add in the sexual and financial objectification of men that many people want to pretend is not happening. We have a raising of that minimum standard I was talking about earlier. To get this new minimum standard you need to put in a lot of work. Getting a toned body requires a relatively strict diet and at least 3 to 5 hours a week in the gym with a plan that has progressive overload. Not every one is in a potion to accomplish this and it is getting harder. Male actors that are seen as hot and the standard for male looks are taking steroids to achieve those bodies. This becomes hard to achieve if you need to work the 60 to 80 hours a week to get to the financial situation that is often asked for by women.

Now if all you are doing is complaining and not putting effort into finding the women who are looking for high EQ over all else you should stop. People don't like People who complain but refuse to put in effort.

Live-Piano-9026 · 2023-11-02T11:41:43+00:00

however all of that is very flexible.

when there are plenty of women out there who are more than happy to look past appearances for an emotionally stable man who would make a good partner?

source

yeahrum · 2023-11-02T11:41:36+00:00

People tend to have blinders on when it comes to the behaviors and experiences of the numbers of the opposite sex who they don't find fuckable. Men and women do it on here all the time. They see what the attractive ones do, and generalize them all based on that, and end up with no empathy for the uglier ones because they barely even register their existence.

The women willing to look past their appearance are probably ugly women that are invisible to them.

purplish_possum · 2023-11-02T13:26:25+00:00

What most women actually care about when choosing a long term partner is their emotional maturity.

LOL! There's a huge difference between what women say they want and what they actually go after. Watch what they do -- not what they say. Bottom line is that women like fucking hot guys. That's the way its always been and as it always will be.

AWALT!

WilliamWyattD · 2023-11-02T11:45:41+00:00

Ignoring the Black Pill doomers, the best form of the argument is that taking the constraints off of the sexual marketplace has brought more unfettered competition back to the mating game. And the argument would continue that in such an environment, women are able to use their greater sexual leverage to demand more from men than the other way around. It isn't really women's greater focus on appearance that is the issue, it is that they have also kept their other requirements. And are prepared to just sit things out unless they get what they want, conceivably leading to a SMP where women only pair up in SMV rank, maybe even in raw physical appearance, and that is if they pair at all. This could leave all but the top men with the choice between a significantly lower SMV ranked woman, or no woman at all.

Neptune-Jnr · 2023-11-02T12:43:52+00:00

Men go after all kinds of women

bikerider6969 · 2023-11-02T13:33:56+00:00

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thisaccountaintrea1 · 2023-11-02T12:26:49+00:00

The guys complaining about women being shallow aren’t a monolith, but I think their answers to your question could be divided into three main categories:

A) Their standards are far too high. If you can genuinely only see yourself happy with a skinny, conventionally attractive, traditionally feminine chick with a low bodycount, you’re welcome to only date those women, but there aren’t exactly a ton of those girls to go around to begin with, and they don’t tend to stay single for very long.

B) They don’t actually make an effort to talk to women, and are complaining about the straw men (or straw-women in this case) they’ve created out of misapplied studies and Fresh and Fit videos.

C) They’re not particularly interested in relationships, they’re interested in casual sex. In this regard, they have something of a point: If you’re just trying to hook up, looks do matter a lot more than personality. I’m guilty myself of sleeping with a few girls who I knew were deeply unpleasant people outside of the bedroom, but they were hot and available.

SecondEldenLord · 2023-11-02T12:41:50+00:00

Women who don't care about looks and money are very very few. It is like winning the jackpot at a lottery: only very few can do it. Men are not picky about looks and you can clearly see that by looking around you and see how many mid women are with hotter men. You say pick better women like finding that 1 in a million is easy. If it was so easy then there wouldn't be so many single women, there wouldn't be any redpill, mgtow, incels, passport bros, etc. You are all making this seem like "it's men's fault and ONLY men's fault that they are single". Typical to take 0 accountability and throw the blame on one group but not look in the mirror.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2023-11-02T13:21:26+00:00

They don’t want “better women” they want Hot women for casual sex and showing off.

They want to be the winner, damn it! And if you don’t have an IG girl falling all over you when you walk by the guys you don’t like at school/work whatevs, then how are you going to PROVE you are better than them?!

It’s about winning damn it! And don’t you see- they are better than them and found out the “red-pill, alpha top G truth!”

Only it’s not working right now. Abs so they are pissed. Cause they want what they want when they want it! So they complain. Constantly. Online. Like a man!

Tywinlol · 2023-11-02T12:31:09+00:00

Because we have a right to criticize others? And validity of our criticism is not dependent on what we do after voicing our opinions. Harmful behavior of women deserves to be called out regardless of our own behavior, which I admit can also be superficial at times.

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thedarkracer · 2023-11-02T14:33:54+00:00

How are we supposed to know which one is genuine or not? Which one has sky reaching standards? Which one will be interested (you do use a lot of sign language, it's confusing). Approaching is the biggest problem, we don't know how, when and whom to approach. And we see women throwing themselves at ones with extremely good looks while being too hard to get to the normal guy. It's something which everyone here has seen.

EastSideSlasha · 2023-11-02T14:56:02+00:00

Because they want a model while looking like a hot pack of ass

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Workaholiconew · 2023-11-02T15:12:15+00:00

Because the "better women" are a minority of a minority of a minority. Took me 15 years and 50 sexual partners and hitting on literal dozens of thousands of women to find a few dozen women who can be considered mature, reasonable and loyal...

Not that I dated them. I just dated one of them. Most were already married, old enough to be my mother or grandmother, or uninterested.

An mature woman is the rarest in the world

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Title	Why don’t the men who constantly complain about women dating based only on appearance just go after better women?
Author	No-Resource2745
Upvotes	4
Comments	217
Date	November 2, 2023 11:34 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/17m1gij/why_dont_the_men_who_constantly_complain_about/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-dont-the-men-who-constantly-complain-about.1237107 https://theredarchive.com/post/1237107

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