"Women dont put enough effort into making it work because they think there's always something better." "It's women's fault for staying in a crappy relationship."

purplish_possum · 2023-11-26T15:35:47+00:00

Both are true.

If a woman come to feel she can do better she's going to bounce.

However, if she's disappointed but she feels this is the best she can do she'll stay and make everyone's life miserable.

bifewova234 · 2023-11-26T17:34:53+00:00

The statements are for different situations. So, both can't be simultaneously true of a relationship. The only way could be if the woman was having two different relationships at the same time. People should put due effort in to a relationship but should abandon it's not going to be acceptable despite such effort.

SupposedlySapiens · 2023-11-26T17:08:11+00:00

Tbh in my experience it’s because women are often terrible at both. They inexplicably try to make it work with men who are clearly awful and draped in red flags, yet they will also give up so easily on decent men as soon as a slightly better potential option comes around.

This is completely understandable, as women are biologically designed to consistently seek out the best possible situation for themselves, due to their more vulnerable position in life. But, at least nowadays, most women seem utterly incapable of determining what the best situation for themselves actually is. Women will literally throw away a perfectly good relationship because the hot new guy at work gave her some scraps of attention. Then she’ll get with him, be treated like shit for three years, finally get dumped when he finds someone hotter, and then sit around crying and asking where all the good men are.

abaxeron · 2023-11-26T16:29:43+00:00

"Women dont put enough effort into making it work because they think there's always something better." "It's women's fault for staying in a crappy relationship." I see two opposing arguments

There's nothing "opposing" in a woman abandoning a stable, mature, low-time-preference, sober, disciplined mechanical engineer in training because he was not exciting enough, and then complaining that she's being abused by her new bf full of anger issues.

Men don't have "good" and "bad" printed on their foreheads

"Good" men are usually good at math and bad at having booze in their fridge, a criminal record, and child support obligations to four different women. Y'know, the type women usually call autistic as an insult.

Not saying it's 100% fool-proof solution, but a great start.

babazuki · 2023-11-26T22:13:43+00:00

Women can stay in abusive relationships and chase after criminal losers if those guys convince her that their are better than her.

That's why "negging" has been espoused as an effective pick up strategy. Make the woman feel lower than you, and she'll want you more.

That's why RP talkers will stress the importance of maintaining frame in a relationship, even if the man does out earn the woman and out perform her every way on paper. She has to know she's with the best guy she can be with and she feels like it would be terrible for him to leave her.

It's very possible to cheat the system and just pretend to be good option and even lie and trick your way into relationships. It's just temporary and it damages women.

No-Rough-7390 · 2023-11-26T15:27:33+00:00

It has to do with opportunism. That “crappy relationship” tends to only be the conclusion once she is on the other side of it and needs to move on. Many women have cognitive dissonance. It’s not uncommon.

thisreallyisnotok · 2023-11-26T15:26:59+00:00

I don’t see how these are contradictory statements. You can stay in a relationship and stop trying to make it work. People can become complacent. I don’t think it’s a gender issue though.

peteypete78 · 2023-11-26T15:55:17+00:00

They aren't opposing.

When men say its womens fault for staying in a crappy relationship it is said in response to women talking about being in relationships with abusive men, so men say "pick better" better in this context is stop following the tingles.

When men talk about women not putting the effort in to maintaining a relationship they are talking about women who get bored and give up on a solid relationship just because the excitement is gone (life is mostly boring, work, eat, sleep, repeat)

Men don't have "good" and "bad" printed on their foreheads so what other way to find out which one he is without dating him?

But good men do show they are good on a daily basis with their actions, you don't need it printed on their foreheads you need to see how he is and his relationships with his friends and family to determine what he is like.

SlowEffective8146 · 2023-11-27T00:47:48+00:00

These are both true at the same time because women stay in "crappy relationships" aka relationships with men who:

Don't like them
Mentally abuse them
Possibly physically abuse them also

And women thing "something better" is the relationships with these guys who will treat them crappy. So yes both are true.

gopher_glitz · 2023-11-26T17:44:02+00:00

I've never known a woman who stayed with a man even though he was boring. Known a lot who stayed even though he was abusive.

Expensive_Bread204 · 2023-11-26T16:28:10+00:00

I put up with far more shit than I should have in my first relationship in an attempt to make it work, she gave up because apparently being told you can't wake up at 5pm and do nothing was unfair because "she's trying"

Men on average put up with much more, and women tend to on average give up much quicker. They have the grass is always greener mentality.

Crimson-Pilled · 2023-11-26T15:40:57+00:00

Women break rules for Alphas and make rules for betas. Women, by default, are selfish, fickle, and cruel, but if they think you're Alpha, they put on the veil of selflessness, loyalty, and kindness to maintain the relationship, which will hopefully fulfil their selfish desires.

This fails many times because women are more attracted to superficial Alpha traits than genuine power. The narcissism women love and relate to has to be abandoned for a man to find success by hard work, introspection, and cooperation. Thus rich beta men get divorced for not putting the dishes away while poor Alphas pump and dump and have her wanting more.

63daddy · 2023-11-26T15:34:18+00:00

I don’t think they are as opposing as they sound. Some women may jump ship for something better, especially if they will get a good divorce settlement and it can also be true that many other women don’t find anything better (possibly because they’re not looking) and stay in crappy relationships.

Additionally, I’ve read articles that claim women who are in crappy relationships and leave often end up in the same again because they are still attracted to the same kind of guy. It’s what they know.

So, this seemingly contradictory behavior can occur because:

Not all women are the same. Different women can respond differently to crappy relationships.
People who may desire to escape a crappy situation may end up in the same again, because it’s what they know.

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macone235 · 2023-11-26T23:25:18+00:00

I see two opposing arguments frequently on here and I'd like to ask red pill men specifically how both can be true at the same time. I see it said all the time that its common for most women to "discard men" because they think there's a better option out there for them and also common that women are too quick to give up on a relationship. How can both be true at the same time? I'd like to see it discussed among red pill men.

What do you mean "how can both be true at the same time"? They're not mutually exclusive. Women are too quick to give upon relationships because they'll easily discard men for better options.

What do you guys think? How can a woman simultaneously "try harder to make it work" and "choose better"? Men don't have "good" and "bad" printed on their foreheads so what other way to find out which one he is without dating him?

This is specifically a question for Red Pill Men.

Men do have "good" and "bad" printed on their forehead. It's called being rich/attractive and poor/ugly.

dominantoneforher · 2023-11-27T17:41:31+00:00

I approach all relationships from the paradigm that each person should be putting in effort to make the relationship work. I have told partners before that if they do not want to put in the effort to be in a relationship that there are ten other women that do. It either serves as constructive criticism or a timely farewell.

Title	"Women dont put enough effort into making it work because they think there's always something better." "It's women's fault for staying in a crappy relationship."
Author	alphamaker420
Upvotes	37
Comments	231
Date	November 26, 2023 3:23 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/184d0ht/women_dont_put_enough_effort_into_making_it_work/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-dont-put-enough-effort-into-making-it-work.1239388 https://theredarchive.com/post/1239388

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