Does crying in front of your girlfriend/partner destroy sexual attraction?

Alive-Doughnut2345 · 2022-01-12T06:30:31+00:00

If it does you were never meant to be together to begin with.

Edit so many upvotes ACK thank you guys

Successful-Funny-518 · 2022-01-12T07:08:10+00:00

The times I e seen my partner break down and cry, it’s made me feel so much closer to him. To know he has feelings too and he can reach that level of vulnerability with me… it allows me to feel more connected and vulnerable to him. Those moments create bonds and help develop attraction on a deeper level.

mik_e_2nd · 2022-01-12T08:43:38+00:00

I think it depends on the empathy of your partner and their ability to understand what you’re going through.

Someone who’s just in it for the physical attraction, external validation or materialism will likely be turned off and view you as weak. Where as someone who genuinely cares about you and has the ability to empathise with you will view it as you being vulnerable and they will greatly appreciate that. It will make them feel as though you two are closer due to the fact you’re showing a side that not many see.

Unfortunately, men are told by woman to open up in society but no one wants to actually listen or deal with them. A man cries in front of a woman and a certain level of respect has been lost and especially In relationships.

Men are usually told to get on with it and are made to feel like their problem is an inconvenience to the relationship rather than something to work through or be supported on.

photosynthevince · 2022-01-12T15:50:18+00:00

Idk, it may be trauma related BUT when my wife cries I get SO aroused. I go from as flaccid as a worm in jar of melatonin to being as hard as sign language with no fingers. I think it’s the intimacy of the whole thing and the overwhelming trust of her feelings? Or maybe I’m just a psycho

StereoFood · 2022-01-12T06:14:45+00:00

I honestly don't think a few tears matter. If a guy crys or has some teary eyes about something that has happened bad or unfortunate in their life then I know they have feelings. I think it takes a stronger guy to cry in front of someone than just holding it all in. I also appreciate that they feel safe and comfortable around me because society generally frowns on men crying. Just my thoughts. Thanks!

iiexistenzeii · 2022-01-12T10:18:20+00:00

If you're doing it because you're emotional, Nothin to worry about... If you're doing this for attention, idk man that's a you problem

Likewise, if you cried once or twice, nothing to worry... But if you're doing this regularly, it gets kinda Tiring to console you

Fluganaveggnum · 2022-01-12T10:47:33+00:00

So, weird take. Every time my ex and I were working though a problem, crying together and taking care of each other, we would always end up weirdly aroused and it always ended in sex.

My take on it is that if you use the situation to get closer and care and respect one another then that can be very attractive. On the other hand if there is no understanding, no care and respect it can be very unattractive

-Mavs · 2022-01-12T17:04:56+00:00

You’re asking on Reddit so you’ll likely get VERY liberal answers like, “OMG, I’d cry with him”.

Just a consideration.

homeslice567 · 2022-01-12T09:01:41+00:00

No, on the contrary it feeds into the mental part of sexual attraction. Not saying I get turned on by my partner crying, but crying is very vulnerable and showing that to me really deepens connection which then increases sexual attraction.

JenantD80 · 2022-01-12T11:57:22+00:00

Look, you will certainly find women that have the idea that men need to be strong to be men. Obviously that still exists.

But for me, when a partner trusts me with their pain, it makes me feel closer to them. It certainly doesn't make me lose attraction.

Speaking_Buddha · 2022-01-12T20:07:27+00:00

Yup... Don't cry until you are married with two kids and it's your mums funeral. Early on in a realtionship nothing dries up pussy like male tears.

DisneyUp · 2022-01-12T11:26:39+00:00

No it heightens the attraction! The only way it would put a dent in attraction is if it was excessively so, without cause. Then I’d think it was more a hormone issue than authentic. Or if it was like Bruce Willis crying in friends. We love a tap but only if it can turn off.

Generally if a man cries in front of me it conveys a deeper level of trust and signals he is in touch with himself beyond how others think he should act. Raw vulnerability is super attractive as long as it’s not excessive. If we become a free therapist on tap, that’s not attractive.

I had a man cry on a first date once. We’d had a few drinks and he confided in me about a childhood trauma. I’ve never had a man hold me tighter. We ended up seeing each other for a few months. He nor me ever mentioned it again.

Felixisnext · 2022-01-12T07:30:27+00:00

Vulnerability is strength. Girls/woman are attracted to as how you can hold yourself as a man. They feel your energy, and woman are the healers when your energy is drained. They feel the energy of your heart as a man. Now if your crying because you’re lost in your head, are needy, narcissistic, or you’re just a kid who cries all the time and doesn’t know how to handle himself first before having to go to a girl/woman like they are a mom then yes she will definitely not find you attractive. That’s beta shit, wipe your own tears and keep your head up king. You only need a queen to help you when you have a legit reason for why your crown is almost falling off….

notstevensegal · 2022-01-12T13:12:06+00:00

Depends on if their attraction to you is based on how traditionally masculine you are. It would be pretty shallow of them, but it is probably pretty common among certain demographics of women.

I vaguely recall reading a post on reddit where a girl admits she lost all attraction to her guy after he cried.

hmoooody · 2022-01-12T15:16:11+00:00

From my own personal experiences, I found it’s better to go and cry to a therapist, your buddies or anyone except your women. It never ended good and I could see their respect and attraction slowly fading over time.

Fluffy_Risk9955 · 2022-01-12T08:38:42+00:00

It depends on why. If you cry, because you’ve been treated badly by people at work she going to lose sexual attraction. If you collapse and cry because you just lost your brother, it’s a whole different matter.

SithLordJediMaster · 2022-01-12T16:04:06+00:00

"Crying: Acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon" - Ron Swanson (Parks and Recreation)

jadencoolpurple · 2022-01-12T16:17:34+00:00

I may get downvoted but the only time you should cry in front of a woman is if someone closed to you died or something

Socalledlegs86 · 2022-01-12T11:18:11+00:00

Not at all I love a man who is not afraid to express his emotions and if anything it would make me more attracted to him.

EnvironmentalRule525 · 2022-01-12T13:52:55+00:00

Despite what anyone tries to tell you here, yes it does.

angel-cowboy · 2022-01-12T15:00:15+00:00

Timing is important

frosty95 · 2022-01-12T16:40:20+00:00

If seeing you cry messes up their attraction to you than there was nothing there in the first place. People cry. It's healthy and normal. You know what's not healthy and normal? Worrying that someone won't be turned on ever again if they see you cry.

Mmm91for · 2022-01-12T15:33:59+00:00

Any sign of weakness makes you look less attractive to women. Crying being the ultimate sign of weakness.

hardthumbs · 2022-01-12T10:57:11+00:00

Depends on why but generally you shouldn’t cry and be weak in front of women

daposuapma · 2022-01-12T17:12:05+00:00

Tears are ok, but not crying. Generally maintain your frame. Most women don't like crying (nice) guys.

Limitlesspappy · 2022-01-12T23:35:35+00:00

Before a woman can truly love you, she’s got to respect you. Once she loses respect for you— you’re done. Never cry in front of your girlfriend unless it’s a family death or something extreme.

byteseed · 2022-01-12T23:51:01+00:00

Do not listen to the advices of women, which are saying it is ok to cry, OP. Being vulnerable and expressing yourself is good, but not crying. Yes, crying will destroy attraction. Being overemotional is not masculine quality. It may bond you with your best girl friend, but it will not give you porn style sex. It is the role of the woman to be more emotional in relationship. Men should provide rigidity.

MattPruga · 2022-01-12T11:24:13+00:00

unfortunately most time it does

whoischigozie · 2022-01-12T11:55:45+00:00

Of course not! We really need to move away from this archaic perspective of masculinity. This idea that men aren’t supposed to cry, rest, be vulnerable and be emotionally expressive. It’s literally killing and causing depression in men.

MoStuntin · 2022-01-12T08:18:37+00:00

Most likely

Sensitive-Permit-877 · 2022-01-12T16:21:54+00:00

Unfortunately for the men yes. Women dry up around crying men. They will say otherwise

fzgen · 2022-01-12T22:14:18+00:00

Depends on the relationship. If you are adults, it definitely kill the attraction. Women may think they like it but they will start to treat you like you are their girlfriend, means that sex will be fewer and less passionate.

vaginakween68 · 2022-01-12T15:54:43+00:00

It makes me love them more

squirrely__blonde · 2022-01-12T17:08:58+00:00

Quite the opposite. Being vulnerable in front of your SO only shows how much you trust them and, if you are in the right relationship, it will make the feelings grow stronger.

SgtSplacker · 2022-01-12T17:14:23+00:00

I cried at the Van Geogh exhibit. Whatever...

Shadow__Account · 2022-01-12T17:24:21+00:00

I think it totally depends on what you are crying over. If I watch a touching movie or story I’ll cry and if she doesn’t like me being me she can leave. But I can imagine some dude crying about being a victim or crying that he can’t take something anymore and I can def see that dropping respect and attraction

MetaphysicPhilosophy · 2022-01-12T17:40:57+00:00

Dude, you should be able to cry in front of your gf. If she is like “I only like guys that repress their emotions” then she ain’t the one. It says something about her, not you. However, if you are an emotional basketcase then that’s a different story. Your partner shouldn’t have to be your therapist, but they should have empathy.

kelticslob · 2022-01-12T20:10:19+00:00

I’ve done it once, when I found out my parents were getting divorced.

I didn’t ever have sex with that girl again, and she later told me she had no idea how to comfort a grown man crying. I don’t blame her, though. A girl you are seeing isn’t your therapist or your mommy. I would avoid ever doing it.

olivialovegood · 2022-01-12T21:46:00+00:00

No, I’ve had boyfriends cry to me in the past and it was nice to know they felt like they could be vulnerable/their full selves with me. Made me see them as full human beings and not just a strong stoic man. I always thought it endearing and never had any judgmental feelings

Woujo · 2022-01-13T03:05:33+00:00

Not necessarily. But you can ruin attraction if she starts to see you as fundamentally weak, unstable, and unable to handle the pressures of life. Women want their man to be an emotional rock, and if you appear as unable to be an emptional rock, she will look elsewhere.

UrFavPlayerIsBack · 2022-01-13T04:16:41+00:00

Crying/showing weakness and being vulnerable are 2 different things from very different universe

Conclusions on you..

Ps: love this kinda sub. It goes against masculinity, motivates simps to simp way more and.. leave more chicks for us.. keep it up ✊

clutch_usa_-6 · 2022-01-13T05:15:34+00:00

I hope not... I'd cry when I nut if it's good enough. Emotions aren't gender based, and most people can't control theirs... technically, judging someone for something they can't control, is the same basis for Racism, Sexism, and most other Discrimination. Just more antiquated bullshit keeping us stupid.

wakawah · 2022-01-12T08:45:47+00:00

It makes them super attracted to you. In fact, they like it best when you cry together. Like an orchestra of tears and feminine energy.

Pikappucinno · 2022-01-12T12:04:33+00:00

I would say it depends on the current level of attraction

Ok_Medicine_7662 · 2022-01-12T14:30:44+00:00

Not if its very well justified and only happens once in a great while.

Do it too often and yeah you're going to look like a little bitch and she'll realize that shes not actually THAT into emotionally charged men.

Adadum · 2022-01-12T17:35:12+00:00

Depends why you're crying. If your (grand)parent recently passed away, you cry, and she loses all respect and attraction for you, then she's straight up a bitch and a psycho.

If you're crying over a situation that you do have control over such as a stressful job, then yea she'll lose respect and attraction for you. In that regard, cry in private or to family, not to your girl.

If you want the best way, cry to a therapist. Their job is to help you sort shit out in life and sometimes life throws so much shit at you that it can get tangled up. Hope this helps brother.

hamedam · 2022-01-12T14:05:00+00:00

You shouldn't expose any weaknesses, you're a man ffs always put yourself together specially around women.

mabden · 2022-01-12T15:56:14+00:00

Yes. Shedding a tear? No.

erarjorin · 2022-01-12T16:25:43+00:00

yeap, always sort by controversial on these kind of topics for the real answers.

vhm3 · 2022-01-12T16:28:37+00:00

Nah, it turns me on.

cj_steele · 2022-01-12T16:36:20+00:00

If someone you know dies then no. But if you cry over a movie for example or you stub your toe then yes.

KingOlaffWidul · 2022-01-12T16:39:24+00:00

It shouldn't. It's human to cry, because it's human to feel emotions. To which you have as much right as she does.

marks1995 · 2022-01-12T16:53:31+00:00

Yes and no. I think it really depends on the woman and where you are in the relationship.

I think many on here are misinterpreting the question though. Sexual attraction is not something you decide to have. It's not a "rational" judgement you make.

Crying is never sexually attractive. It invokes feelings of pity/empathy/weakness/etc. depending on the scenario and the people.

A woman can absolutely appreciate your vulnerability and the fact that you feel open enough to cry in front of her. And that can increase her feeling of closeness to you. But no woman has ever thought it was "hot" when you are doing it.

So in an established relationship, and in very limited scenarios, it shouldn't destroy her overall sexual attraction to you, nobody wants some dude that's crying over stupid shit all the time.

jacoballen22 · 2022-01-12T17:18:48+00:00

Honestly it’s a good test to see compatibility.

OGdrogo · 2022-01-12T17:46:45+00:00

I think crying is alright as long as you’re not presenting yourself as miserable or desperate. Being vulnerable with your partner is a good thing but if she realises that you’re desperate, she’ll feel a little unprotected and her masculine side will show up.

Kokadison · 2022-01-12T17:52:51+00:00

So, I’m super emotional and cry over the smallest things (yay anxiety lol). My boyfriend has only ever cried in front of me ONCE.

We’ve been together for 4 years now. Still attracted to each other.

If you can’t express emotion in front of your partner then that’s not a good relationship to be in.

Powerful_Train_5100 · 2022-01-12T17:53:28+00:00

Cry all you want my darling, here is my chest to rest your head on- is what I will say in a moment like this. Like how freaking cute. As long as he doesn’t wwhen wwhen every single day

st4991 · 2022-01-12T19:27:27+00:00

If you’re crying for a stupid reason, then yes. If someone died or something like that, I’m sure it’s fine.

Kapoof2 · 2022-01-12T20:15:08+00:00

It shouldn't theoretically, but if we are talking historically....

OKKira · 2022-01-12T20:17:49+00:00

No, absolutely not. I've seen partners cry because their parents died, when a pet died, when his brother and cousin were murdered in a drive by shooting. I never felt less attracted to them. The only time when my vagina shriveled up and died was when a preppy, silver spoon in hand ex bf cried when his dad took away his Xbox.

Superb-Bank9899 · 2022-01-12T20:18:55+00:00

It's not so much if you cry or not, but how much. If a guy sheds a tear during Rudy the movie is one thing, but if he crys at the end of every House Wife's of so and so there is a problem.

naughtychick9999 · 2022-01-12T20:22:10+00:00

Nope. Had an ex cry in front of me early on and it brought us much closer and made me want him even more.

i_love_crazy_hobos · 2022-01-12T20:42:55+00:00

Yeah i think it depends on the situation. I believe as a man it’s ok to cry in front of your partner, but if you’re overly emotional and have depression or something and are crying a lot, that’s an indicator of a different problem.

So occasional crying is fine, but if you got lots of crying happening it might be a sign of something else in life you need to address.

starfire_xed · 2022-01-12T20:43:59+00:00

Yes.

reallyred11 · 2022-01-12T21:42:27+00:00

W comment section.

turtlegray23 · 2022-01-12T21:42:50+00:00

It would ruin my attraction only if he was crying about another woman.

strikerx07 · 2022-01-12T22:06:13+00:00

In general, it'd better be a rare occurrence, Brief, and for a very good reason. Anything beyond that risks eroding attraction.

Ducharbaine · 2022-01-12T22:33:10+00:00

Early on? Yes. After you have been in a committed relationship where she has had the opportunity to trust in your frame? You should be fine.

Fundamental999333 · 2022-01-12T22:38:25+00:00

Confidence is not about being that strong hard emotionless man. It's about being human, full of flaws and the ability to show the world and be perfectly okay with it.

The man I describe here will win out every time over the hardened dimensionless stereotypical male. Only insecure or emotionally damaged will be offended by a man who can will cry.

However, if you are a sobbing weak baby over small trivial matters - that's different.

thaughty · 2022-01-12T22:55:58+00:00

Yeah 100% depends on factors like why you're crying and how mature you're acting. If you're throwing a tantrum you're obviously going to lose respect. If you make her feel scared or guilty or otherwise cry manipulatively then yeah she shouldn't put up with that.

If you're just crying but still being a decent mature person, and you support her in expressing her emotions, I don't think many people will judge you.

Kobe_curry24 · 2022-01-12T23:33:31+00:00

If you just starting out yes but if she’s high frequency women or Dick game is 1000 nothing will matter

byteseed · 2022-01-12T23:40:51+00:00

It depends on circumstances, if she is the reason of your tears, definitely yes. It destroys frame completely. If you cry because you relative deceased, and she is just a witness, it is normal.

GWOLF1993 · 2022-01-12T23:49:46+00:00

Im not a women but crying is a sign of weakness. Anyman who sees it will rag on you even if they 100% understand by bro cries i will say i understand but unless its something big im gonna rag on hum and call him a bitch. So looking weak to often is never positive crying over a dead dog ok crying because its you saw the a romantic scene pretty gay.

Minute-Lie-2287 · 2022-01-13T00:37:13+00:00

90 percent

SnooDingos7816 · 2022-01-13T00:53:36+00:00

I’d say depends why. If you’re crying because you’re being a baby then that itself will have a domino effect on everything else. However if you’re crying because a relative died, pet, or someone you looked up to and she frowns upon that then I don’t think that’s someone you should be with. Or at least I wouldn’t

oneapotheosis · 2022-01-13T01:49:49+00:00

I feel closer to my partner when we or one of us cries. I think that heightens my attraction over time.

gigachadhd · 2022-01-13T01:55:27+00:00

Yes only exception is if your dog just died

VermeersPitcher · 2022-01-13T02:35:30+00:00

What the heck did they do to you, boy? If course it's ok for my guy to cry. I don't always understand what's up, like when my husband started weeping uncontrollably when Keanu Reeves walked into the stage to advertise Cyberpunk 2077, but I totally accept it. Humans have feelings.

willgo-waggins · 2022-01-13T03:06:19+00:00

It should not.

If it’s a problem then she doesn’t truly appreciate if care about you as a human being and doesn’t deserve you.

I very rarely cry. And when I do it is usually for a very deeply emotional reason and in private with someone I totally and completely trust. Sonic that somehow makes her think less of me as a man or a person then that’s all I need to know.

TopBlacksmith160 · 2022-01-13T03:06:37+00:00

It honestly depends on the girl But seriously its a red flag and unhealthy if she isn’t comfortable with you having emotions Dont fall for that bs Ive had a girlfriend and we cried for each other quite a bit

TopBlacksmith160 · 2022-01-13T03:08:04+00:00

The girls who are turned off are definitely reading these comments rn..SHOW YOURSELF AND EXPLAIN 😂

Useful_Lawfulness517 · 2022-01-13T03:13:01+00:00

The thing that everybody needs to understand is that we are all human. Even men. The notion that men should never ever cry needs to die. Now it’s different when he is constantly crying and getting emotional over petty stuff or when he doesn’t get his way or whatever. That’s unattractive and kills the masculine frame. But if it’s in the event of a tragedy such as a close family member passing away or another event related to that, let it out.

kazuechan · 2022-01-13T03:21:41+00:00

It depends why. I’ve had men break down when talking to me about good memories with their deceased loved ones. Never lost respect. It honestly made me feel more attracted to them because they’re not scared of my reaction to their emotions.

However, I’ve had a narcissist ex cry into my chest because he happily dug his grave and now it was time to lay in it. I laughed in his face seeing him crumble under the weight of his own consequences.

DeepDingo3462 · 2022-01-13T03:39:00+00:00

If she has high sexual attraction towards him and he carries the masculine role, cries occasionally for legitimate reasons. Generally no and could actually increase attraction. If he is constantly emotionally and she has low sexual attraction then yes. Crying is killing what little attraction is left.

mypurplepony · 2022-01-13T03:44:29+00:00

As a 29(F), I say not at all. It’s a healthy and natural reaction. What’s not attractive is when your partner does not reciprocate or seems to appear avoidant to emotions. I am very open with myself in relationships so communication is everything. I want to know and see how my partner is truly feeling. I feel that it strengthens the bond, to be able to let that guard down.

Rndzle · 2022-01-16T17:36:50+00:00

When I was in high school I made love to my girl and i started crying 😏 . Now I just fuck them like their cheap and man handle them and spit in their mouth They seem to like that better 🙄

latinasonly · 2022-01-13T02:36:38+00:00

depends on the context.

jasongray27 · 2022-01-13T07:34:22+00:00

Never do this around your ladies. Women don't want to see you like a women.

Title	Does crying in front of your girlfriend/partner destroy sexual attraction?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	143
Comments	151
Date	January 12, 2022 6:11 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/s1z5ff/does_crying_in_front_of_your_girlfriendpartner/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/does-crying-in-front-of-your-girlfriendpartner.1269207 https://theredarchive.com/post/1269207

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