Stop deluding yourselves that cold approach isn't necessary

zexwyomom · 2021-12-10T08:43:24+00:00

As a guy Hate to say it but if you look like a creep don’t approach. Fix your style, or teeth, shoes, fashion etc. never approach with dirty clothes, hair, bad breath etc. be at your best condition.

BurnItDownSR · 2021-12-10T06:20:56+00:00

This guy gets it. ☝️

You people need to recognize the largely over-exaggerated endorsement of all that tangential development for what it actually is - the excuses of cowards taken to the next level.

Those kinds of people claim to believe in things like getting out of your comfort zone too but neglect to mention that lactic acid burns in the gym or sleepless nights spent working feel much more comfortable to them than standing in front of a woman and flirting with her. They're using the fact that they're seemingly working hard at other things as an excuse to avoid putting in the work that's actually necessary to succeed at dating.

phantom11287 · 2021-12-10T06:18:00+00:00

This sub is hilarious

recyclablebanthas · 2021-12-10T15:37:05+00:00

Note: this topic often features a lot of white noise.

Some people mistakenly conflate all cold approaches with the segment of guys who miss social cues (or disregard them), come on too strong, and harass strangers.
And some guys with a good foundation of social skills, are just close enough to solving their game issues that some cold approaching can bring it together for them.
And some guys out there are at such a low level that asking them to start off at cold approaching is like asking someone who's never driven before to learn on an F1 racer.

So the whole "cold approaching is great" vs "cold approaching is bad" debate, is oversimplifying the discourse in an unhelpful way.

Suggesting that everyone do cold approaching is NOT a one size fits all kind of solution.

Some people can start off with it. Like OP.

Others need to build up their foundation a bit with some basic social skills that the rest of us might take for granted, before they can get something out of cold approaching.

YoungMoneyTwerk · 2021-12-10T07:46:56+00:00

I 10000% agree. I read books, watched videos and hoarded courses for 3 years. 3 weeks ago I started actually approaching. I approached 3 (!) Girls, and got 1 rejection, 1 number and ghost and 1 number leading to 2 dates.

Guys stop fucking around and go out talk to people and girls. They want you to.

byteseed · 2021-12-10T10:34:03+00:00

Yes, yes, yes. Cold approach is the only way to achieve social freedom. No money, status, knowledge will compensate for it. The sole ability to talk to anyone, skill of creating attraction, can be trained only by going out and approaching. Once you understand how powerful cold approach is, everything else becomes obsolete. Cold approach is the freedom to choose.

You want a smart girlfriend? Approach.

You want some night stand? Approach.

You want open relationship with bunch of cute girls? Approach!

Cold approach is guaranteed to get you laid just by numbers game. I do not mention other benefits, like becoming socially savvy and treating insecurities.

Cold approach, guys, it is frightening, but it is the only effective way to live the life you want.

berttbeans996 · 2021-12-10T04:44:35+00:00

Do you mind me asking how old you are? And does cold approach actually work for you?

5_7pickup · 2021-12-10T06:21:28+00:00

This some truth right here.

I started cold approach 4 months ago. Before that, I was too much of a pussy but still had success with girls. I thought lifting and self improvement and social circle game was the key to getting more girls… LOL boy was I wrong.

I finally quit being a little BITCH and went solo cold approach. Its only been 4 months and I can say Im definitely a different person.

For those curious about my journey dating back 120 days, it’s all in my field reports.

shaggy2gay · 2021-12-10T05:13:06+00:00

It’s not that serious you’re just talking to another human being

PuroPincheGains · 2021-12-10T16:41:24+00:00

Not everyone has the same goals as you. If your goals are to have a successful dating life and date prettier women, it's 100% not necessary. If your goals are to get laid as much as possible, then it is necessary. It's not controversial lol, necessary by definition requires some end objective.

MRHOBO_ · 2021-12-10T05:37:07+00:00

You are right! Its mostly the weak males that are against it. Cuz they cant stomach a rejection. Problem with pickup is, there are a lot of loosers that dont understand when they start bothering the girl, they lack social awareness.

sepia_dreamer · 2021-12-10T06:04:30+00:00

Some of us aren't all that interested in being PUA's for any number of reasons, ranging from fear to just straight up disinterest (I know, shocking, considering the name of the subreddit), but I think it's important to realize that you'll never get anywhere with a girl (bed, marriage, casual asexual and aromantic friendship, etc.) if you don't talk to one first.

Waiting for them to come to you out of the ether is a good way to be left disappointed, but learning to approach girls throughout the experiences of life and initiate dialog — whether it's some short path to fucking or another goal — will significantly increase your odds.

Ibrodoski2 · 2021-12-10T04:48:30+00:00

How do you cold approach

sorrowhill9 · 2021-12-10T06:23:32+00:00

I would love to cold approach but i dont have the courage. how do you do it.

MO_drps_knwldg · 2021-12-10T17:22:31+00:00

I agree with you 100% that putting yourself out there, talking with strangers, and flirting with women out in public is crucial. You can’t hide in books or videos. True success comes from life experience.

I wholeheartedly disagree that PUA methods lead to long-term success. Todd V is way too analytical, over-classifies, and puts too much emphasis on routines (what to say), rather than having a solid masculine core and promoting a natural, fun vibe.

The video of him getting rejected by a group of women at the bench in NYC is legendary on the Internet at this point for its cringiness. It is one of the worst human interactions I’ve ever seen. And this supposedly coming from someone who had years of being an elite PUA/dating coach.

I’ve been rejected before, a lot. But seeing him become completely unglued after a group of confident women (very politely) turn him down is almost heartbreaking. “Just tell me I’m ugly!” That’s what happens when your identity is built upon validation from women, along with a “say this, and this will happen” mindset. Guys fucking crumble when things don’t go their way.

Popular_Rush · 2021-12-10T20:15:54+00:00

Had my first cold approach at a night club and scored the hottest chick ever, way hotter than the great majority of my tinder matches. I will focus on this rather than online dating apps which got boring

Canadian-Seductioner · 2021-12-10T18:06:33+00:00

Just to provide another perspective: cold approach isn't necessary for me because I get more than enough girls in my rotation from dating apps alone.

I agree with you though that people who say cold approaching isn't necessary because you should "just be yourself" are dumb lol you're not going to get laid if you don't talk to girls in some capacity.

2021-12-10T08:24:08+00:00

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Fungled · 2022-01-11T22:52:45+00:00

If I had used cold approach fairly actively over the past ten years, I’d certainly be married with kids now, which is what I dearly want

It’s not that I didn’t/don’t do it, it’s that I didn’t do it enough, in fact often totally resisted it, or misguided it (looking for hot sex, when really I wanted a great long term partner). Also, not being strategic and knowing when and where I could’ve (regularly) used it to eventually guarantee the healthy long term results I wanted

I think also it gets lost in BS about pickup and quick lays. I could’ve easily been using it to open with nice relationship-worthy women, getting numbers, getting dates, and eventually finding someone to settle down with

Instead I wasted years chasing the wrong ones I met organically, cold approaching sexy girls for one sex (was already too old for that), getting disillusioned, picking up bad habits and getting older

Needless to say, goal for 2022 is to cold approach: that being, going up to modestly attractive women I see around, saying hi, getting their number, going out on nice civilised dates, and hopefully finally finding a life partner and mother to my children

So there you go. Big regret. I guess I could’ve met her organically (I had plenty of friends, active social life etc), but since I doubted myself I wasn’t proactive enough

Don’t be me!

_hardmode · 2022-03-01T00:11:58+00:00

I’ll give your shit a try,

I’ll give it 20 lol

DaMarcio · 2021-12-10T07:11:31+00:00

Reading models without taking action would be ironic, given that the book gives homework specifically on cold approaching lmao

random_af_guy · 2021-12-10T06:31:42+00:00

Agreed.

Marketing and sales is all about numbers. When I consult new tech entrepreneurs, I remind them - in all the world, there is always someone stupid enough to buy your shit.

Not saying your product is shit. Not saying that you will only be able to sell to stupid people. Just saying that the worst case scenario is not that bad.

It's up to you to believe in your product. Its up to you to improve your product. But always know - you can sell it if you put in the work. Work the numbers.

Rastaman143 · 2021-12-10T06:48:26+00:00

Love the last paragraph if this “duh advice” it doesn’t pertain to you. Always some jackass going to comment oh I already know that etc.

sunkized · 2021-12-10T12:02:57+00:00

How many approaches until it doesn't feel awful and I don't want to just down bleach

crazy_monkey1738 · 2021-12-10T16:01:58+00:00

The cubic miles of titty that you're sacrificing is staggering

This is it. This is the sentence that completely changed my approach... shit even my whole dating life (not that I have ever gone on a date or anything... but that changes now).

JohnZoffman · 2021-12-10T16:02:04+00:00

What do you talk about when you approach ?

Do you try to use techniques or is it just normal conversation ?

MuMuGorgeus · 2021-12-10T16:45:40+00:00

I'm scared shitless of approaching women on the streets, grocery stores etc. I just don't know what to do, and I'm pretty confident and sure of myself. I don't like the idea of bothering people, intervening in thier daily life, being an inconvenience, because I know most of them don't want me.

"Self improvement equals sex" is one of the top 10 BS of the century! Living a better life is priceless and we should all be working on it, to be virtuous. But that won't get you women, or men or whatever.

Being "enlightened", successful, treating people well, exercising, yada yada, that's essential! But it won't do shit for your dating life, unless you are in a relationship.

I've been working on myself for years, can you guess how many times a gorgeous lady came to me saying how much she appreciates my being and would like to fuck me? None!

So yeah, the dude is right, as much as I suck at dating and this PUA bullshit, they get girls and I don't.

yoitsappy · 2021-12-10T17:51:42+00:00

Not just cold approach but meeting face to face is more effective

chilihummus · 2021-12-14T08:12:53+00:00

It isn’t necessary but I’m sure it would offer you some more opportunities

500Ovechkin · 2021-12-11T05:51:10+00:00

(20m here,) As odd as this sounds, most guys my age and younger don’t like approaching ppl and won’t. It’s awkward to do so yourself or (1 on 1) and I think it hurts our egos or perceptions. I myself do “cold” approach people due to my filming hobby of making YouTube videos so I’m used to it and don’t care, but many of my friends and others simply won’t.

I’ve learned the best results from cold approaching is being confident. As in having something to say/ compliment the girl and quickly building a connection/ leading things to where you want it to go. Whether you get her number or not doesn’t matter, but ive learned that shooting your shot and leaving her curious is the best thing you can do, that’s if you’re going to cold approach. Again, most guys and friends I know would rather meet women at parties or simply let them come to you but either method works. Just play your cards right and you’ll be surprised how much your confidence will grow

Comradecraig · 2021-12-11T00:04:27+00:00

Every time I speak to a women in public they scowl or give me a fearful look. This only works if you're extremely handsome.

spicy_simba · 2021-12-10T07:27:29+00:00

Hey there buddy,

The devil is in the details, when people start doing things without knowing the reason behind. Without using common sense.

This is a characteristic of cults and religions, some pua communities do develop cult like behaviors and get radicalized, and that is not cool

The issue with text advice or short form audio video, is that it starts to simplify and condense information for the sake of format.

In real life, you would spend days and weeks with your friend to teach him about dating life, it's not something one can learn after reading 2 articles and watching one video.

And yes there are many issues with pua, as in every self help industry, and a lot of people endup suffering more and wasting loads of money in it.

Now here we can only write a few words, and again thats the issue, posts on internet also tend to simplify and antagonize everything, we may look like we disagree but in real life we will sit down and listen to each other, and find common ground.

Debates on internet are very different from real life, it's easier to go overboard on text and no one has time to write a whole essay, also often edgy and provocative is rewarded with more attention. Real life discussion allows one to be interrupted and to have an actual discussion.

vigilanting · 2021-12-10T07:43:52+00:00

How does one approach a girl when she is always with her her other girl friends, and you don't know any of them

shaggy2gay · 2021-12-10T09:24:43+00:00

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2021-12-10T10:08:15+00:00

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2021-12-10T05:10:48+00:00

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fag432 · 2021-12-10T10:05:01+00:00

Context and culture matters. Trying to approach a German girl in a mid sized town somewhere in a grocery store would not yield any results.

PaleontologistNo2785 · 2021-12-10T10:25:12+00:00

Im avoiding pickup because im low value af. I fully recodnize how insanely valuable it is as a tool for men. But i dont think its for me. Not now thats for sure.

fulgurdeus · 2021-12-10T10:45:47+00:00

I just cant approach girls at all cause I dont think people will value me at all physically. personality wise sure i m a great cute guy, but physically i am a walking insecurity so i cant approach anyone at all

shaggy2gay · 2021-12-10T18:20:21+00:00

any advice on overcoming approach anxiety?

RedEyeBlackEye1 · 2021-12-10T21:28:28+00:00

ITS NOT THAT COLD APPROACH IS GOOD OR BAD...it's that it is not always needed.

If you're good looking, have a decent physique, and carry yourself in a masculine manner, all you need to do is smile at a chick(or even speak sometimes)...she(if she's not insecure AF) will make it easy for you, throw choosing signals, giggle, be receptive, be aroused, and be down to exchange info(even chill as long as you're not awkward AF and your game is not utter garbage).

WARNING! I will say this...the more sex appeal I obtain (currently on a Savage LOOKSMAX/swolemax/SWAGGERMAX/CHARISMAMAX level up campaign), the more polarizing effect it has on females. There is literally almost no "in between", they either want nothing to do with me(i assume out of insecurity, ego, or plain disinterest) or instantly get googly eyes, super receptive, willing to spend HER money on me, comfortable with my touch, kissing, etc. This applies to most female coworkers, female acquaintances, and random stranger chicks I meet during the day too.

WillyM35 · 2021-12-10T22:06:38+00:00

So what exactly IS a cold approach?

CenaSmackDown · 2021-12-11T00:19:00+00:00

I'd cold approach a woman at a bar or night club, but if it's like the mall or the park usually I avoid it.

HerrLogic · 2021-12-11T11:31:34+00:00

Approach and look good: Success

Approach and look bad: Jail

AelfredRex · 2021-12-11T19:47:26+00:00

It's still just begging for her attention. No "game" to it, just hitting on X number of women till one is desperate enough to say Yes. Like throwing darts at a board while blindfolded and praying for a bullseye. And it's all about you, not her. All about stroking your ego, getting that validation out of "shooting your shot" (which sounds totally masturbatory). It's not about making her feel comfortable with that subtle interplay with the eyes and reading signals and getting closer to the next step... it's a shock tactic, hit-on-and-run, get that number and off to the next.

Any wonder it FAILS most of the time?

adamidriss · 2022-01-08T00:41:43+00:00

Anyone in London looking for a wing to go out cold approaching let me know.

shaggy2gay · 2022-02-27T20:29:04+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Stop deluding yourselves that cold approach isn't necessary
Author	shaggy2gay
Upvotes	318
Comments	188
Date	December 10, 2021 4:41 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/rd0g3g/stop_deluding_yourselves_that_cold_approach_isnt/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/stop-deluding-yourselves-that-cold-approach-isnt.1271015 https://theredarchive.com/post/1271015

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