Worst Date. Of. All. Time. (Advice?)

discharge · 2014-02-05T02:35:17+00:00

Dude, my blood was boiling for you reading this. But rule #1) is HAVE boundaries #2) make those boundaries known and be ready to bounce if you feel they're not respected.

The good news is you've learned enough for a lifetime.

OrangeCantRhyme · 2014-02-05T03:14:12+00:00

I agree with everything said here, but I think no one has really raised a huge point here -

The two guys who came over didn't just accidentally steal your girl - that was their intent all along. It wasn't a "oh you let them become alpha and then slowly your girl changed" type of situation, it is more like a "these two guys targeted your girl and you were too oblivious to realized you helped them". If a guy you don't know comes over to you while your on a date, he's trying to steal your girl - blow him out immediately.

All that being said, live and learn man. By the sounds of it, you didn't really lose a loyal, high-value women...

HappyJerk · 2014-02-05T00:55:44+00:00

I friend of mine (girl) who I train with set me up with a date.

Just for future reference, this never (rarely) works. Just because some third party thinks you would be good for somebody doesn't mean you will have any attraction. You should only go on dates with people you have built some attraction with.

By this time we're both a little intoxicated.

No no no!! You never get drunk on a first date. The man always has to be more emotionally stable than the girl. I've made this mistake many a time. Even if you are slightly drunk it looks really bad to the girl.

They mention that they're going to another bar and ask us (multiple times) if we'd go to them to the next bar. After a little bit of deliberation between me and her we decide that we will. Why not.

Bad move again. You need to be the leader of every step of the date. You have now handed over the leadership to some random guys. I'm not done reading your post but its possible she banged one of them. Continuing on...

One of the guys mentions that he is headed to the washroom to do coke. Alright, thats cool with me.

In the normal life, it may be cool with you, but you should have peaced then. It's totally reasonable to leave cuz the dudes are doing coke, it puts you back in the leadership position, and most importantly, it makes you look like you have values and stand up for shit. Girls love that. Even if the girl likes coke you could have been like "look, we don't know these guys, its kind of weird to do coke around strangers, this is creepy, let's go."

After this, it's around 2AM and she keeps mentioning how I should go home. I mention that she should also to which she replies "I never go home".

Haha I predicted it! You lost leadership and now SHE Is the leader and she is ordering you around. Every time a girl starts giving you orders and start controlling the date, it's over. You should have gone home. She rejected you. Also, she is more emotionally stable (i.e., less drunk) than you, another point against you.

The guys mention how we should head to their house for more fun! fucking great.

I disagree with this for the same reasons as before.

It has been a week since then and I have not received a text or anything.

Why would she text you?

When I turn to say something to her, she wasn't even there. She had returned to the other room already.

Yeah she fucked those other guys. Such is life. Here is what you did wrong, to recap:

1) you got drunk 2) you didn't stand up against silliness and stupid ideas 3) you gave the other guys control of your date.

Let's say those guys had been going somewhere REALLY cool, like Jay-Z's birthday party. You STILL should have said no. You never give up leadership in a date. EVER. EVER. Let's say the girl really wanted to go with the guys. You say no, and then make the girl choose between you and the guys (or Jay-Z). It's polarization. She either stays with you (you win) or she goes and you've dodged a bullet because she didn't like you in the first place.

All that said, I really feel for you, as I had a similar situation recently: http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1wt57i/the_date_from_hell_or_the_dangers_of_oneitis/

ThrowawayPUA · 2014-02-05T01:42:59+00:00

You fucked up. You were on a date and you let two guys horn in on your woman. All you had to do was say, "excuse me, we're on a date, I'd appreciate a little privacy" and they would have left you alone, and if they didn't, you didn't have to stick around, you could have bounced somewhere with the women without the other guys.

But it all turned out OK in the end. You dodged a bullet. The woman was a coke whore. She wasn't outside for 20 minutes doing coke, that only takes 20 seconds. She gave you plenty of evidence that she was not the woman you need or deserve. Erase her number, disconnect every online link, and don't ever try to contact her. If she tries to contact you (and if she hasn't, she won't) then your attitude should be that she has to earn your trust, and that will be very difficult. If your friends ask (and they probably already heard this all from her side) then just keep it to yourself, but keep the same attitude.

Smiles_27 · 2014-02-05T00:42:47+00:00

Stop caring.

The error occurred when you cared that some chick you were on a date with is doing blow and sleeping with random dudes.

Don't be pissed. Don't feel betrayed. Don't hate on yourself.

Be glad. Glad that you saw that chick at her worst, and avoided one fucking hell of a crazy woman.

Has the landmine you narrowly avoided not sunk in yet?

whatthepali · 2014-02-05T06:46:55+00:00

Unggg ! my jimmies ! my jimmes are so rustled right now !@#

there were so many "no... no dud.. no! NOOOO" moments while reading your story i'm flabergasted right now

GUESS WHAT, even if you remove the alcohol, coke, and her being a whore you would STILL be just as much fucked.

why ? BECAUSE OF THIS

These two middle aged 30 something guys sit down at the table beside us. They strike a conversation with us

NO, no conversation, no, were having a date, were here, to date.

We make friends pretty quickly

FRIENDS? did you just go out on a date to make friends?

They mention that they're going to another bar and ask us (multiple times) if we'd go to them to the next bar

this is when someone is supposed to get stabbed ( and i'm also into muay thai, no one is supposed to fuck with you if your training )

After a little bit of deliberation between me and her we decide that we will. Why not

Why not? Why not !? BECAUSE YOUR NOT HER GAY FRIEND THATS WHY NOT , DID YOU HOLD HER PURSE WHILE DELIBERATING ??

dude everything after this, is simply totaled. even if you met a pure angel, you were gonna fuck it up anyway

so now what do you do? slap yourself for me, slap hard and then learn from it. and also tell her friend that she is a coke whore that sleeps with random old guys at bars and you ran away in fear of herpes

good day sir !

NotSayingJustSaying · 2014-02-05T02:44:32+00:00

You were a complete stranger's wingman.

AhsAUoy · 2014-02-05T00:56:07+00:00

sounds like a lack of escalation.. that or she just follows her nose everywhere.

birdwontquit · 2014-02-05T03:34:31+00:00

Never join a group of other men on a date unless you can firmly handle them and be the leader of the group/hold your frame. You should have decided - with no deliberation, and no input from her - whether or not the two of you are going.

When she mentions you "should go home" you should tell her to shut the fuck up.

You became an orbiter. You were in a situation you couldn't handle. It's ok, it happens.

Ultimate takeaway: you lead, never follow.

Shoutout Toronto! Used to live there, coming home soon.

GSpotAssassin · 2014-02-05T14:18:24+00:00

"Middle-aged" guy here (dude, did the bar get lower or something? "middle-aged" used to be mid 40's at least!)

Basically, what HappyJerk said. Also this:

She's absolutely beautiful

Was she taller than you?

Without hesitation she quickly buys our first round of Beers

This may look awesome, but in my experience it's usually a subtle neg when the woman initiates like this. It's saying that on first impression she doesn't want to owe you anything.

By this time we're both a little intoxicated.

I would never get more than this intoxicated on a first date. You gotta be on your game.

After this, it's around 2AM and she keeps mentioning how I should go home.

Yeah, you already lost the game long before this unfortunately. Once your first date is telling you YOU should go home (notice the subtle implication of "...without me"), it's over.

to which she replies "I never go home"

This screams "DTF" to me. I mean, literally screams. This now-drunk and coked-up woman wants the biggest, loudest, most obnoxious cock available, right now... at that guy's house. You don't seem to be the owner of such a device. But it seems like she is humoring all of you (mostly the other 2 dudes) to see if you guys can figure it out amongst yourselves.

and starts touching her ass and legs.. She does absolutely NOTHING to stop his advances

He initiated. Gotta hand it to the guy. And why should she stop him? She doesn't owe you shit, it's a first date. You didn't even buy her the first round (see?) You didn't indicate you were interested by trying to get your paws on her somehow, earlier. Did you even throw an arm around her shoulder or waist? Did you gently place a hand on her knee while you were delivering the punchline of a story? When you walked next to her, did you gently guide her using the small of her back?

and i'm pretty sure she looked over to see if I noticed

Honestly? She probably looked over to half see if you'd join in lol. The romantic aspect of the date has long past and at that point it was about sex. And women are more open-minded about sex (especially when under the influence) than either you, or they, realize.

I am not a huge "seduction" fan but the "touch progression" (aka "kino") mentioned fairly often, is legit. DO NOT underestimate this. Touch and posture matter.

Also, her touch towards YOU matters. Did she touch you at all? If you were both sitting next to each other, was she facing you mostly directly (maybe a little off-center) while talking to you but putting her hand on your knee sometimes (like after you make her laugh)? That stuff means you're pretty much in there. Any pleasant physicality initiated by her, or initiated by you that she accepts, is good.

And stop being so damn romantic. Seduce her, don't put her on a pedestal. ;) Don't be sore and don't let this get to you. Jesus Christ, you're a muay-thai badass motherfucker, right? (Honestly, that is pretty badass. My level of "badass" is using my exercise bike a few times a week.) At all times, you must believe that you're the coolest motherfucker in the room, they just don't know it yet. Do you carry yourself like you're packin' one? Take charge next time. Be assertive.

How's your job going? Is your boss owning you, or do you own your work? Do you have any signs of success yet? That stuff helps too. Women smell that confidence (or lack thereof, sigh) seemingly miles away. So keep on top of the other aspects of your life, too. We're guys, our egos eat that shit up, and women notice and appreciate. Preferably with their mouths on your junk.

Now go forth and kick ass.

Other than that, this just sounds like the typical rejection guys have to go through.

garblegarble12 · 2014-02-05T02:23:31+00:00

You fucked up. Should have never let the other 2 dudes slide in and game her.

Fucked up even worse by getting trashed on top of that and losing control. They played you. You played yourself.

They most likely double teamed her after you left.

Spore2012 · 2014-02-05T10:29:21+00:00

I can tell you where you went wrong in each situation. I hope it helps.

First, these guys sitting down and you making friends with them. It seems pretty obvious from your story that they were sitting down in order to overtake you and steal the girl (they probably were PUAs or at least knew a little game) with their DHVs, location switching, wingman, and confidence.

You basically lost it right here. but I'll continue.

Second, After you assumed the beta position and tagged along and the guy goes to the bathroom to do coke, you should retake the situation and tell her you get a bad vibe from the guys or situation and pull her away somewhere to one on one with you again (dance or something). I'm sure maybe even before you switched bars one of the guys asked you guys if you were a couple or something and your answer should have been "Are you guys a couple?" (joke) instead of actually answering his question.

Third, you are settling for this crap and getting plastered instead. You shouldn't be getting too drunk unless you are clearly both planning to be leaving together soon.

Fourth, she takes off with the dude for a long time while you sit around like standard AFC. The desperation is sickening to her at this point. Her obvious attempts to hint you away are turning that disgust into contempt. just fyi, I'm a dude and I'm even cringing.

Fifth, you STILL tag along to their house to an obviously destroyed situation like some kind of white knight/brother in case she might need you (she doesn't). She is still positioning herself as far away from you as she can.

Sixth, the guys are even done trying to be smooth and lost all respect (if you had any) for you and just start making moves in front of you.

Seventh, you get mad and look crazy to her. She pretends to care about you leaving when she is actually thinking "FUCK, FINALLY". Guaranteed within 1-2 minutes she was making out or having sex.

Chalk this up to a learning experience, fix your alpha repelling game, and forget this cokewhore.

edit- Just for clarity it's ok to be alpha and DHV yourself to gather some people to sit with you and talk, but only if you are controlling the group/conversation. Don't just take a backseat to some people you don't know. If the situation is unavoidable or gets out of your control, you need to remove yourself immediately so that she either comes looking for you or to get some other people (preferably girls) to bring back and start to ignore her . At the most you will get her attention back if you want it, or you will get another girl interested in you, ideally you can become a wingman for the dudes and pawn the puppets off to them and look alpha as fuck to everyone.

PS- You should have escalated kino and started making sexual advances and kissing her if the date was going as well as you claimed before the dudes showed up. You have a lot to learn young padowan, but I have faith in you. I see potential in you.

joculator · 2014-02-05T12:19:20+00:00

You will never win against another guy dangling drugs in front of a girl who does them. She's a coke whore - best you can do is act cool with the situation and back out of it. She most likely will call you to see if you're mad and if you play your cards right you will bang her, but don't get attached; she has major flaws.

Next time don't act cool with people invading your time with a girl. Get her the hell out of there if things are going too good with invaders, or let her know it's not cool with you. A little jealousy in this situation would be appropriate and very likely spur her attraction to you. But remember what I said about girls who do drugs - you're up against a VERY strong temptation on their part to break the date.

I have had girls who apparently use drugs want to hang out with me because I don't do drugs and they want to take a break for all of that. You can scoop up some ass that way sometimes, but it's a very weak bond.

IAmDrStrangeLove · 2014-02-05T04:24:21+00:00

Dude, what are you upset about? Chick was coaxed by a bunch of sleazebags with coke. Sounds like an easy one to cross off the list.

2014-02-05T03:30:16+00:00

Yeah, you should have seen that coming when she bought your beers, should have REALLY seen it coming when it became a "group" with other dudes, and it became your fault when you didn't take her advice to leave. I'm sorry, I've been in that situation before (although not quite as bad) and if you're honest with yourself, you should have seen it coming. Would you ever invite more women onto your date with you, unless you didn't want to hang out with one you were with? Nope. Would you leave a date for 20 minutes to fuck around with some other chick and expect her to still be there when you got back? No. Would you expect this chick to then come along, although you said to leave, to another girl's place after all the aforementioned? No.

That being said, women can be horrible. This chick was clearly a whore or just an otherwise shitty person. Don't beat yourself up about it, but don't think that you played all your cards right either. You should have been like "gotta go" as soon as the other dudes came on board.

troyv21 · 2014-02-05T01:20:29+00:00

whenever other dudes come into play you have to become alpha as fuck. you should have been pulling her attention with lots of kino and jokes about how you two are the only young/normal ones around. instead of going to their place you should have isolated her and said you had a better idea and taken her off to another bar or home. you should have isolated her much earlier than when they offered to take the party back to their spot. lesson learned, move on to the next one. and next time get a little better at your threat assessment.

brychacho · 2014-02-05T02:01:21+00:00

Move on.

itsmevichet · 2014-02-05T04:45:20+00:00

See those things that other guy did? Flirting, escalation, offering value, escalating, being funny, escalating.

When did you escalate?

You didn't. You tagged along. You let two strangers dictate what you were doing on your date. By the time the girl was his, it wouldn't have mattered what you did or said.

Shitty thing is, if you made a move before the coke incident (not a morality choice, more because that was the point of no return at which she started ignoring you as a source of fun) I think they'd have backed off.

Escalation, bro. Be the guy who is physically comfortable with women. Be the guy who is actively testing the boundaries of her attraction.

centurijon · 2014-02-05T05:21:50+00:00

Fucked up from the time you met the two guys. It's cool to be friendly and all, but if you're on a date then you keep it as a date, not a group hangout time.

pizzaface18 · 2014-02-05T06:06:03+00:00

Dont forget to tell the girl you train that her friend is a coke slut.

NarcolepticLion · 2014-02-05T05:38:59+00:00

You fuckin idiot, ya dun fucked up in some crucial spots where you couldve turned this trainwreck around and still K or F closed. First, it's been said before but I'll say it again. Don't fuckin get drunk on the first date, you twat. Second, shouldve been pretty obvious those guys had intentions of running game on your girl from the moment they struck up conversation, people aren't that friendly by accident when there's a pretty girl involved. Third, when they asked you guys to come with, you shouldve told her its your first date with her and just want to get to know her as just the two of you, that way if she still wants to run off with them she looks more like a cunt and you leave with your pride still intact because fuck her anyways. (Fuck her still for ditching you but hoes gonna hoe) Fourth you were on really uneven ground and didn't stand much of a chance the second you agreed to join those guys at the bar because they got you drunk and isolated her and probably tag teamed her after you left. There's more but I'm fuckin tired, learn from this and don't get too down about it mate.

Babayaga20000 · 2014-02-05T05:29:34+00:00

this is why i dont drink and also you should have left that whore a lot earlier, anyone who does hard drugs is someone to stay away from in my book

2014-02-05T06:58:53+00:00

Can anybody see the error in my ways...?

Yes, this:

These two middle aged 30 something guys sit down at the table beside us... We make friends pretty quickly and pretty soon we "make a group"... After a little bit of deliberation between me and her we decide that we will. Why not.

...some advice? It would be appreciated.

As soon as you mentioned the guys I knew where this was going. It is great that you make friends with people, but you are on a date. Two friendly dudes inviting you to their territory? No! Those are potential competition. Also, I feel you may have felt pressured to keep drinking so she'd think you were 'cool' (whatever that may mean), but drinking too much is what messed up your judgment and ability to keep up with her.

If something like this starts to happen again, be cool with the other people, but decline their invitation, politely (like a good Canadian). Say whatever you have to say, but remember that you're on a date with a someone. You were having fun and all, but it wasn't a sure thing yet.

nosleepatall · 2014-02-05T07:31:03+00:00

In addition to the other valuable comments in here, those two "middle aged" guys had just 10+ years more experience than you. They knew what they wanted (her), while you failed to make this any more than a "lets grab some beers and have a nice talk" date. I doubt your acquaintance would have ranged them as "old" or "creepy" based on their age.

She leaves for solid 20 minutes with the guy and mentions how you really should go home afterwards? Ouch. Let me put it this way: That's good because you probably wouldn't want to kiss her anyway after she's rewarded him for the coke. That's time enough for a solid blow job.

Only upside for you: You can still get hot 24yo blondes when you're in your mid-30s.

1upac · 2014-02-05T01:26:14+00:00

Happens to the best of us man. I was in a similar situation a few months back, and let me tell you, too many drinks (and especially drugs) makes things feel much worse afterwards. I invited a girl over for drinks one night and soon after an old high school buddy of mine called saying was in town and invited us out. So we joined him and course he has a baggy of weed with him. Long story short the girl gets drunk/high -- the guy, in lieu of our intoxicated stupor starts feeling on my date and she does nothing. I'm too high to intervene and eventually just take her home.

IMO, best thing to do in this case: next her, let the night be a learning experience, and don't et it worry you. I dragged on for days thinking about my experience and passed an opportune moment with another date.

She wasn't worth your time and your next date will be.

Luckyluke23 · 2014-02-05T08:25:35+00:00

when she starts doing coke with the guy, I"m not. ( that's just a personal bound. weed is ok. MAYBE even hlaf a pill anything more is a no for me.)

if this happened to me, I would be happy. these guys saved you from dealing with a coke whore. depends what time it is, though if it's early I just cut my loss and go mack at other girls at the bar, no point waiting time on her.

aperture81 · 2014-02-05T08:28:15+00:00

I used to dabble in drugs and dates so maybe I can offer some insight.. You seemed to be doing everything right until you both got a little wasted and let those two dudes into the fray. Then bring coke into it and there becomes a clear line and 2 groups of people. Those who are into doing coke and those who aren't. Unfortunately for you, she did and that kinda leaves you out of the picture. It really doesn't reflect well on her though that she A) decided to turn a night out / date into one of those kinds of nights and B) involved these other guys and went off with them because they had coke. As a lot of people said, you probably should've bailed as soon as she disappeared for 20 minutes with one of those guys but hey, you live and learn. Be the man... Set your own examples and don't take shit. Alpha bro, alpha

blastfromthe · 2014-02-05T09:42:23+00:00

why do we need to know your height and that you train muay thai? Anyway I wouldn't be worried about it. This girl definitely doesn't sound like gf material. You should only be upset if you were looking for a one night stand.

thats my 2 cents

FuriousMouse · 2014-02-05T12:48:45+00:00

They mention that they're going to another bar and ask us (multiple times) if we'd go to them to the next bar. After a little bit of deliberation between me and her we decide that we will. Why not.

In short: The guys did a "takeaway" and you just clinged on with them.

ItsNotAScam · 2014-02-05T13:22:36+00:00

You got AMOGed so hard. Next time be more alpha. Way way more kino, don't drink, and be willing to aggressively challenge and eliminate any male that generates competition.

Women (especially the one you were with) are animals. Win the game.

hahaha_Im_mad · 2014-02-05T13:25:05+00:00

Wow man. I must say you learn from your mistakes. You should have avoided those strangers in the first place. Come on, you are trying to know the girl better, how easy can it become with two complete strangers fighting for her attention? Well, at least in beforehand you saw her flaws and know she is not worth a serious relationship. Move on to the next.

marth141 · 2014-02-05T13:59:34+00:00

Honestly, I'd be pretty mad about having stuck around like that. Girl like that isn't worth anyone's time. Especially not yours. You've learned what's wrong though. Pro tip. Once you notice a girl you're hitting it off with starts to ignore the fact you're on a date is the moment you tell her "Good bye." and once you do and leave before you're across the city, you'll feel pretty proud of your choice.

It's just a complete show of disrespect to you. I'm sorry for any guy who tries to seriously consider that girl.

Edit: To shorten this to your question, you did nothing wrong other than stick around too long. I'm going to be blunt, that's just disrespecting yourself right there. Stay on your game and don't follow a chick around like that. Acknowledged that what she did was much worse than what you did to yourself.

untouchabletran · 2014-02-05T14:07:08+00:00

You Canadians are just too nice. Man up and tell those bastards to pass off

masterrod · 2014-02-05T15:30:00+00:00

Your error is letting guys move in on your set. You just met this girl, and haven't slept with her so you don't have a strong connection to her. If you're with two new guys, and you want this girl, you have to claim her in front of them. It sounds also that you were intimidated by them. In general, control your drinking so you can be aware.

Secondly, if you're not into drugs then there's really nothing that you can or should do.

I wouldn't get mad, girls that are willing to do coke from strangers are bad news man.

2014-02-05T15:59:53+00:00

Here is something I noticed. Not once did you stand up for yourself. You didn't have objectives. A date is not something you improv if you "just got out of a 5 year relationship". I think you were too comfortable with that lifestyle. Loyalty develops over time but girls that are loyal from the get go are keepers. Even though everyone says you dodged a bullet I really think this is a great example of you adjusting to the single life. Just keep your head up and fucking stick up for yourself next time. If two dudes came over and tried to talk to us while we were on a date I would definitely make that very clear to them. Eventhough it is scumbaggery of them to do so, you are learning because you will never allow such shit to happen again because anyone with any amount of self-respect would never do that to someone else. Immediately make them look like the bad guy, especially in that environment, that is manipulation used correctly.

HappyNacho · 2014-02-05T16:08:44+00:00

watch some music

how do you do that?

TheRealDJ · 2014-02-05T04:31:15+00:00

Rule of thumb: don't take a date to a bar.

A) Drinking can inhibit your game

B) Its a place where other guys specifically go to pick up women. As you saw here, you were vulnerable and they outplayed you. If you do go, go with a group or go to a place where single guys don't go.

bhonbeg · 2014-02-05T05:53:47+00:00

Noob bro, those men, shoulda told em to go sideways the fuck out the same way they came in.

scenny · 2014-02-05T03:52:30+00:00

Unrelated to your post mostly, but where do you train out of? I do MT in TO as well.

Edit - like these dudes are saying, while you did slip up, learn from it for next time. But this time you certainly dodged a bullet.

takatori · 2014-02-05T09:30:05+00:00

You let other dudes join you when you were trying to get with a girl? WTF?

That was the moment she lost interest in you, Betamax.

recyclablebantha · 2014-02-05T10:35:12+00:00

I try to sober up a little to stay on my game.

And if only you had done so.....

Me and the girl are still talking and having fun. One of the guys mentions that he is headed to the washroom to do coke. Alright, thats cool with me. The girl also seems to not care.

I might still have been salvageable here..... maybe.

Fast forward half an hour. We're getting pretty smashed. I'm oblivious to what is going on, but I notice that the girl whispers something about coke into the guys ear.

But certainly during this fast-forwarded half-hour, when you proceeded to get more smashed instead of sobering up more...... Those guys were either hitting on her without you noticing, or she was not into you.

Side note: There are a LOT of subtle things those guys could have been doing to kino your date, right under your nose. Especially if you were too drunk to notice. It's possible to kino escalate with touching legs (or other limbs) below eye level and/or under the table, to the point of getting an agreement to go home with each other..... all without anyone else noticing until the moment you get up to leave together. So you really have to be aware of where everyone is.

Then she mentions that she is headed to the bar for another drink. She leaves. and I'm left there for 20 minutes and she comes back (from outside) with the guy.

And yeah, but this time, as ThrowawayPUA pointed out, she'd already agreed to the close (f-close, whatever) at this point, and basically went to do coke and make out or possibly more, for 20 minutes.

smacone · 2014-02-05T10:17:49+00:00

First my friend, texting a girl that you don't know for a fucking week ? At this stage, texting should be used to show some DHV, spark some attraction and arrange the date. Also you really shouldn't have joined the 2 other guys, especially this being your first date with this chick. Basically you got AMOG'd, you joined their group, accepted one of the other guys as the alpha and just followed along. Good job on manning up and leaving. Don't worry about the girl, you shouldn't care, don't give a fuck, also don't message/call her.

seddition · 2014-02-05T16:08:59+00:00

This girl sounds like a total piece of shit. Disrespectful coke whores aren't girls you should be investing any time in regardless of how hot they are. You really don't want to end up with HSV or worse at 23.

rocketskates84 · 2014-02-05T03:52:18+00:00

You got lucky. Unless you want to attract hot coke fiends. in which case, carry/do more coke.

jdepps113 · 2014-02-05T05:02:52+00:00

Dude, that was hilarious. I literally can't stop laughing.

Move on, bro. Forget her, she's not for you.

mr_ent · 2014-02-05T06:23:10+00:00

Did you do something wrong? Yes, you went on a date with a bitch.

Could you have foreseen that? Probably not.

GordonMaple · 2014-02-05T12:56:00+00:00

I don't know why everyone keeps shitting on you. Yeah, there seem to be things you could have done better. But whoever this girl was seems like a fucking psycho. The girl has responsibility to make it a good date too, it's the two of you doing this thing. I'd say if she gets bombed, does blow with strangers, then goes back and gets stranger train run on her, she wasn't the greatest date nor would she be the greatest girlfriend material.

sk11ng · 2014-02-05T04:32:43+00:00

Yikes

geckoone · 2014-02-05T05:34:49+00:00

AF BB

8245a · 2014-02-05T08:17:43+00:00

Not much you could have done.

You ain't the alpha dog of fun, bro.

One: She really wasn't that into you as you think

Two: Her agenda is to live life; does coke with strangers and "never go(es) home." It's really hard to compete with older men who can party and show her a good time rather than enjoy the ride along with her. Providing vs. Paralleling

moyno85 · 2014-02-05T08:39:59+00:00

Oh mannnnnnn. This hurt to read.

You did nothing wrong dude. I've been in almost this exact same situation before.

Other homies here will give u sweet advice. I just wanted to jump in and say I don't think you did anything wrong man. This chick sounds like a tool.

percyclevland · 2014-02-05T10:38:36+00:00

Man reading this is hurting MY EGO.

Dude first red falg was too random guys. I'm so sorry.

dangoree · 2014-02-05T12:33:40+00:00

It sounds like you started the night being outcome-dependent. She wants to separate and do coke with strangers? Leave before she comes back, go home and rub one out. There's always tomorrow, and a big night before with no results leads to a day of shitty game (for me.)

SpaceFunkyMonkey · 2014-02-05T13:16:03+00:00

You don't need toxic people in your life. Fuck her, she's lame for ditching you for her YOLO phase that night. You are man enough to stand your ground and values. You will meet someone better, trust me, it'll come unexpectedly. :)

2014-02-05T13:16:21+00:00

I arrived late to this thread, but to add a little bit.... a DATE is an experience between YOU and YOUR DATE. Not the two of you and her girlfriends, not the two of you and some other people you meet. The date is for YOU. She is there to please you. THAT needs to be your attitude. You went off script the moment you accepted these guys into your date. You should have had some balls to say "hey, I'm on a date with YOU tonight, not them, let's focus on each other." If she disagreed, you should have bailed at that moment.

Personally, I think going to a bar ON a date is a lousy idea of a date. You want her somewhere that she has to focus on you, not her surroundings. You wind up spending too much money ($40 limit per date), YOU wind up getting drunk as well and you lose control of the situation. Next time, if you insist on going to a bar - tell the bartender quietly when she's not around to pour you tonic water with lime, or club soda, etc.. or ginger ale - she doesn't need to know you're not drinking alcohol. You want to get HER inhibitions lowered, not yours. You want her to get to the point where she's likely to do something she'll regret, and you want that thing to be YOU.

Main points - DO NOT get yourself drunk. Keep control of the situation. Do not allow others to tag along on your date.

She saw you as a limp dick pussy, limp dick pussies do not get laid.

musicvita25 · 2014-02-05T14:18:09+00:00

Rules for you mate;

Never get drunk on a date. Let THEM get drunk. Ideally drive. Youre in control then.
Never ever go out on a blind date or a date set up by a friend. Especially a girl. I've done it few times never ever worked out. Only person who knows what they want is you.
What you doing allowing those bastards to invade your space and date, say "nice meeting you" to those guys grab her hand and take her to another bar. If she throws a hissy fit, fuck it.
Always be in control. You might not bang her tonight, or on the next date, but make sure thats all you aim to do/

thehigheststatusmale · 2014-02-05T00:53:08+00:00

You're lame dude. Hot chicks follow the brightest shiny object.

Ebil_shenanigans · 2014-02-05T02:08:27+00:00

a) she's a whore. it's a good thing you avoided her.

b) strangers offering you coke. wtf. why didn't you dip then.

c) guy asking girl to come back to his place. pretty obvious.

d) you're 5'6" mate? I'm sorry.

Title	Worst Date. Of. All. Time. (Advice?)
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	197
Comments	157
Date	February 5, 2014 12:29 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1x19jl/worst_date_of_all_time_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/worst-date-of-all-time-advice.1365510 https://theredarchive.com/post/1365510

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