I think there is unfair criticism towards unsuccessful daters.

grummthepillgrumm · 2023-01-18T16:34:36+00:00

“Your personality probably sucks”

Looks at fulfilling life full of close friendships and extensive professional network…. Hmmm seems like most people like me in every other context except sexual pursuit and courtship. But im a disgusting loser because I can’t get laid…..

feanoric · 2023-01-18T02:31:56+00:00

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wtknight · 2023-01-18T02:09:54+00:00

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wtknight · 2023-01-18T02:12:44+00:00

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nonameboredman · 2023-01-18T02:17:39+00:00

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Ambassadior · 2023-01-18T04:54:46+00:00

If you look at the world through the lens of the internet/masses opinion, nothing is universally right. Live your own damn life.

LMM-GT02 · 2023-01-18T19:46:25+00:00

No shit

wtknight · 2023-01-18T02:22:58+00:00

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Nihi1986 · 2023-01-18T22:59:35+00:00

Yes, a lot, specially on the internet. What sucks it that often they are going to be told that their personalities are the problem or that they have too high standards when that's not necessarily true.

Safinated · 2023-01-18T03:09:14+00:00

“There is criticism towards people who complain about unsuccessful dating, which may or may not be unfair”

Fixed that for ya

richard_golbes · 2023-01-18T03:34:09+00:00

It all seems so fake to me when I'm hanging out with a girl and a hot guy passes by and she moans out loud and says to me that she'd "let that man do anything to her".

Like.... cmon.

If I say "oh I'd do anything to her!" I'd be disgusting.

Bro, you can't even get the equivalence correct here. Obviously the second one comes off way more aggressive.

dogsmoking · 2023-01-18T02:11:48+00:00

On the flip side unsuccessful daters often blame others for why they are unsuccessful and feed into their own cycle of negative affirmation, because the more you complain about not getting a date the less likely you are to secure a date.

Also, biologically speaking, male sexlessness is normal and even a good thing, in regards to the gene pool. In the animal kingdom, most of the males of a species never pass on their genes or have a mate. Which ensures that the best genes become more dominant in the future. In human history only the best men survived long enough to breed. If every guy got the opportunity to breed it would only result in more mediocre genes.

Relative_Bee8356 · 2023-01-18T03:17:37+00:00

You can have a casual sex while treating your partners like people. Those things aren't remotely mutually exclusive and anyone who claims otherwise needs therapy.

NakedStreets · 2023-01-18T01:56:29+00:00

If a man is attracted to a woman, he needs to be able to write a deep reflective essay on why he wants to date her or have sex with her.

Are you in a facility or something? Who is making you write these things?

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antariusz · 2023-01-18T12:33:23+00:00

You're putting too much thought into things. You need to embrace the Chad (or the Tyrone, honestly it doesn't matter).

You are overthinking things AND basing too many of your actions on what women SAY they want. That's creating cognitive dissonance in your brain.

Stop hanging around women that don't want to fuck you. Be the man that she moans for. It's really not that impossible, you're on the verge of grasping it. But if requires you to "change" your view.

angypanda123 · 2023-01-18T04:48:06+00:00

You are mixing dating and hookups so I'm confused as to what your point is. Most people are selective when it comes to dating, for obvious reasons. If you aren't reflecting deeply about who you want to date and receive criticism for it, the criticism is justified. It means you and her aren't compatible at an intellectual level. She wants to consciously know the reasons for why you appreciate her. If you don't know, then how can she be certain that you really like her, or would be loyal to her.

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2023-01-18T07:56:42+00:00

a man is attracted to a woman, he needs to be able to write a deep reflective essay on why he wants to date her or have sex with her

No he doesn't lol

I've hooked up with women just by saying they're hot before

If a woman is telling you you need to write her slam poetry to get into her pants she's just not that into you in the first place dude.

As for the second bit: yes, true, if you are the pursuer (man) and say something like that it'll come off creepy. But that's because men are the people who are aggressive, on average. The double standard isn't great, esp when the man is NOT aggressive and is genuinely trying to get a gf, but it exists for a reason

Logical-Confection-7 · 2023-01-18T04:01:19+00:00

The thing is not that people hate on them for wanting to date and have fun. They hate on them cause they think their issue gives them right to shit on women and think society should do everything for them to get laid. They don’t care to discuss lookism or sadness or loneliness. They think people should make space for them to throw tantrums and hit people with their rage.

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-01-18T04:15:20+00:00

It’s not being unsuccessful at dating or wanting sex that’s the problem. Men get criticized when they start blaming everyone else for their lack of success, calling for redistribution of women as resources, or saying crazy shit like they will “betray their country” if they don’t get laid.

CandidIndication · 2023-01-18T05:01:32+00:00

What???

men want sex? Well hey, that’s objectification. Maybe treat women like people.

Western society hasn’t shamed men for casual sex, and in a lot of circles or media encourages casual sex for men.

if a woman says she’s just looking for hookups she doesn’t get accused of any dehumanizing behaviours.

What??? Again, society largely deems women looking for casual sex as undesirable and a whore. With many men in this sub stating they’d never commit to a girl with more then 3 sexual partners.

There’s this concept out there that if a man has many casual sex partners then hey- he must be a stud since it’s so hard for men to get laid right? So he must be doing something right.

Vs a woman who has casual sex, she’s undesirable because women have easy access to casual sex so she should be shunned and ashamed.

I do not think the unfair criticism falls on men who desire casual sex- I think the unfair criticism comes from men who desire casual sex, towards women who also desire casual sex.

McDonaldsCrewBoi · 2023-01-18T14:49:39+00:00

I must say this is a bit of a generalisation. There will be plenty of women out there that don’t have these requirements for men. Personally I’ve never seen a man being shamed stating they want women just for sex, it’s pretty common and usually unchallenged. What I have seen, is women say they only want sex and to be branded whores by the very people who are sleeping with them. Now, I know my perspective isn’t everything, but that is the exact point I’m trying to convey. People are all different and have different standards.

TLDR; we all experience have these problems universally. Treat people as people, be honest and if it doesn’t work, that’s life.

toasterchild · 2023-01-18T15:24:35+00:00

Why do so many people care what internet strangers care about their motives? Sure women are more likely to feel objectified if you ONLY care about their looks and nothing else, but if that's all you care about then so what? If you can find happiness for yourself using women then who cares? Now if you want to go on the internet and complain and try to elicit sympathy for you inability to use women you are probably in for some pain.

ManWazo · 2023-01-18T02:43:29+00:00

the same things as everyone else

So if everyone else gets dating, why don't you? It just means you're in the bottom 1%. Just get good.

MrSelfDestruct32 · 2023-01-18T10:08:33+00:00

This isn’t true at all. At least not in my experience. Both men and women get horny and need to get some. I’ve not once been called out for saying I wanted to hook up with a girl or commenting on a woman’s appearance. Of course if you are creepy and weird about it then yeah you’ll get called out but if you tell a girl she looks good in a specific outfit or her hair looks good or something similar no one is going to care and this might get you somewhere with the girl you’re commenting on. Women are human and we all like to be made to feel good about ourselves.

obviousredflag · 2023-01-18T09:47:28+00:00

Nobody fucking cares if you are an unsuccessful dater. Wanting sex is not objectification. Objectification is done by everyone every day. It's really misused as only meaning one doesn't consider women humans.

You are letting a loud twitter minority determine what is okay to say, want and do. Why?

If a man is attracted to a woman, he needs to be able to write a deep reflective essay on why he wants to date her or have sex with her.

Says who? Expects who? Do you REALLY think that is what is happening in the dating scene?

If I say "oh I'd do anything to her!" I'd be disgusting.

Have you tried with that woman who does the same when men pass? Because it's likely just in your head. And if not, that is something you need to address with that special woman, not with reddit.

Idk, but I believe men who struggle with dating and sex are unfairly criticized for wanting the same things all these successful men and women take for granted.

I don't get your point with the "unsuccessful" demographic being treated differently. Why would a man who can get casual sex relatively easily not be labeled as objectifying women if he just wants sex? Where do you get the feeling that the same actions are treated differently by third party observers?

1stevercody · 2023-01-18T19:19:57+00:00

I'll bite, I agree slightly. There is certainly undue criticism. But I've seen so many really bad takes and really sexist views that are well deserving of the criticism. Despite the common beliefs that dude Bros and Chad's or whatever get any woman and all the women, these dudes get turned down also. Maybe not as often, maybe only by supermodels and the daughters of Rich Russian oligarchs, but I think just about everyone struggles finding or keeping a relationship at some point. I've been there, and I've also Dennis beautiful women and have been with the best one now for 10 years. The difference is in your reaction, do you accept it and move on? Or do you call them a fat cow and live your life resenting women and hating Chad Bros.

RocinanteCoffee · 2023-01-19T05:01:43+00:00

They want sex? Well hey, that's objectification! Maybe treat women like people.

You can want sex and still treat people like people. I want sex all the time and think about it every hour of every day, but I don't think of people like objects or dating like a grocery store.

If a man is attracted to a woman, he needs to be able to write a deep reflective essay on why he wants to date her or have sex with her.

God no that would be a huge turn off for many.

If I say "oh I'd do anything to her!" I'd be disgusting. Well firstly you used a different example than the words your friend/hang out buddy did but I'd consider both inappropriate. Maybe get a new friend.

Title	I think there is unfair criticism towards unsuccessful daters.
Author	Alwaysaloneforever97
Upvotes	99
Comments	150
Date	January 18, 2023 1:51 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/10euk84/i_think_there_is_unfair_criticism_towards/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/i-think-there-is-unfair-criticism-towards.1148736 https://theredarchive.com/post/1148736

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