A woman being super sexual within relationships (ex-boyfriends) is a huge green flag

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2025-07-24T19:18:11+00:00

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Certain_Process_7657 · 2025-07-24T19:19:52+00:00

I don't really care who or what situation she was in before me. As long as she's a freak with me, that's all that matters.

But there would be an issue if she said she was very kinky with past partners but won't do the same stuff with me. So my point is the "who" doesn't matter, but the "what" does

DecisionPlastic9740 · 2025-07-24T21:50:33+00:00

She could be one way with an ex and be completely different with you.

kvakerok_v2 · 2025-07-25T04:12:45+00:00

If she tells me that she was very kinky with her ex boyfriends

It doesn't matter if she was kinky with her exBF, what matters is if she's kinky with you. And the discrepancy between the two can signify a vast array of flags, from red to green.

KamuiObito · 2025-07-25T01:32:44+00:00

Just because she had 100 exes doesnt mean Shes was sexually active.

In fact she probably dates and monkey branches as soon as she sees something thats better.

2025-07-24T20:47:20+00:00

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JadeGrapes · 2025-07-24T21:30:05+00:00

Yup. Grown ass men, that want an enthusiastic partner are NOT excited to learn she chose celibacy in her last marriage.

It's like if you want to mostly cook & eat home cooked meals - but the other person lives on Mc Donalds and jokes about how bad they are at cooking so they eat take out twice a day...

Not cute.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2025-07-24T19:19:02+00:00

People are so weird about the past. Didn’t everyone watch lion king and watch this scene as a kid??

ThatBitchA · 2025-07-24T19:12:47+00:00

Ugh. This sub and their obsession with "being special" when it comes to sex. 🙄

It's so childish and weird.

If someone is having sex with you, they think you are special enough to have sex with.

Internal_Storm_9588 · 2025-07-24T19:31:37+00:00

I get the issue with stranger sex as it might indicate risk seeking behaviour that's not welcome (regarding STIs and in general) - but fwb? Where's the problem? Because it wasn't a romantic relationship?

I mean, it's just like that: women who are high libido and/or like kinky sex will have sex, lots of it. Because they want it.

One should assume that these women would be a good fit for guys who also like and desire sex a lot.

But no, while some of these guys are happy to accept these "sluts" (not my words) for casual encounters, they want a more "pure" (less sexual) woman for a committed relationship.

Make it make sense! With this approach, your choosing your own misfortune.

This is one of the rare cases, where no gender-flipped example comes to my mind. I know of no woman e.g. who's mad that her partner also spent a lot of money on his exes.

throwaway73737828 · 2025-07-24T19:31:19+00:00

Nah that shit aint good. The underlying meaning of that is, if you are not good in bed, I will go to my ex. Thats a threat sentence more than a she tries to impress you sentence. And also remember if she says that shit to you in your face and she is not super sexual with you, might as well just pack the bags and leave at that point. Btw, if you have sex with her and she still brags about her ex, she enjoys sex more with him than you. So she saying I was super sexual with my ex is a challenge to you rather than a enjoyable experience ☠️ you are competing with him in her mind

Internal_Storm_9588 · 2025-07-24T20:33:12+00:00

Take away as a woman:

Option A) Lie about your sexual past if you sense insecurity from your partner. Admit the most vanilla sex acts only or you'll be pushed to repeat something you didn't like "because you did it with your ex!" Collect bonus points for doing something slightly off the ordinary "Omg, I've never done this before!"

Option B) Use "sex confessions" to filter out all those guys with fragile egos. Maybe even make up some escapades to drive home the message.

Affectionate_Fig1683 · 2025-07-24T19:17:45+00:00

I don't want a woman who was dominated or was passive/submissive in any way/ enjoyed another man physically, that is just me .

Cultural-Ad-8486 · 2025-07-24T20:17:10+00:00

Because it's not just that she's sexy with her ex, it's how sexy she is compared to your relationship.

If she's the same or more sexy with me than she is with him, then yeah, that's a HUGE green flag.

But if not... Then there's no point in me being happy that my girlfriend was super sexy with her ex but not with me. That's cuckold behavior and mentality, and that's what men who care about their partner's past are trying to avoid.

MarioWilson122 · 2025-07-24T21:38:51+00:00

I guess if it isnt too many boyfriends then its not the worse thing possible but if shes saying that and she has a roster of them then it would be a red flag for sure.

Some women would likely hide that as that isnt to appealing to say. I also dont think many men would like hearing that their girl was freaky with other men that doesnt sound all that good either.

SteveSan82 · 2025-07-24T21:57:29+00:00

That’s because you have no experience. Anyone with a high notch count can tell you women like that are guaranteed to cheat. Fucking a stranger from a bar? She’s recreation only. Not a future wife

Women who crave sex the same way a man does is going to cheat. Women who did things for other guys but not for you will cheat and is likely just using you for cash or not her first choice.

leosandlattes · 2025-07-24T19:15:42+00:00

I just do not understand this obsession men have with the past. Are you all interrogating your partners over what sorts of activities they've done with exes? It's totally and completely bizarre to me, I cannot comprehend it. When I am in a relationship, I compare his treatment of me to my own standards, and whether or not I am happy, not what he has done with other women. I won't even know 99% of the stuff he did with other exes. He could have gifted his ex a $20,000 diamond necklace and would never know, but I'm not hung up over it either.

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Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2025-07-25T07:50:26+00:00

I don't completly agree. I will add that the woman should have healed from her previous relationship and has spend some years without him

SexCrispies · 2025-07-25T09:37:30+00:00

I do not care what she did or does with people other than me. I only care what she does with me. If that is what i like, i am satisfied, if i am not getting what i like, i am dissatisfied and will probably end the relationship. There is no point in having unsatisfying sex in a committed relationship. I'd optimize for satisfying sex, in a tradeoff situation.

Your_Mommy_Loves_Me · 2025-07-25T10:46:55+00:00

If a woman has ex-boyfriends, like in plural, she's already not fit for a marriage.

Itsthethrowaway2 · 2025-07-24T20:07:38+00:00

Personally I feel like being asked about your sexual relationship with your ex is a red flag 😂

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2025-07-24T22:50:54+00:00

You like that sort of thing because you have cuckold tendencies and I am not being facetious when I say this. There's a large population of men that enjoy seeing, conversating about and reliving sexual encounters that their partner has had with other men.

onlyaseeker · 2025-07-24T22:22:07+00:00

My only issue would be if her past experiences has her "stuck" at an unhealthy "setting" or expectation.

Some women have sex or partner with abusive or inattentive guys, and then carry that expectation into future relationships, expecting more of it, when what they really need to do is work on themselves and heal, so they can be a healthy partner, and maintain healthy relationships.

Which is also why guys care about the past experience of women. They have had experience with women like this, or know people who have. It isn't pleasant to deal with. And sometimes You don't find out about it before it's too late. Or at least, less savvy men don't. But generally, it can be something difficult to discover anyway, since it's typically only something that comes up once you have intimacy with someone, and most people try to hide these things.

Another consideration is whether the kinks are a result of some sort of childhood trauma, or some other maladaptive trait. It might seem fun sexually, but it usually manifests in other ways that are much less fun.

So no, I'm not sure if I would see that as a huge green flag. The green flag would be if they have those traits, without the negative issues I mentioned.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-07-24T20:18:33+00:00

Women are things to use sexually. The more use, the less valuable and desirable.

You are also supposed to get maximal use of sex things, ideally

Title	A woman being super sexual within relationships (ex-boyfriends) is a huge green flag
Author	SurroundWide447
Upvotes	0
Comments	279
Date	July 24, 2025 7:08 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1m8dbdh/a_woman_being_super_sexual_within_relationships/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/a-woman-being-super-sexual-within-relationships-ex.1557983 https://theredarchive.com/post/1557983

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