Do you personally see it as a red flag if someone who wasn't interested in you before later seems interested after they find out you own a home (or other asset)?

LittyKitsune · 2021-12-19T03:08:44+00:00

Here's my personal rule of thumb: if it would be a red flag for friendship it should be an even bigger red flag for a relationship.

Would you want to be friends with a dude who ignored you up to finding out about what you own?

TheLoneMushroom · 2021-12-19T03:38:31+00:00

It's a huge turn off if a girl wants me cause of any assets I have. Though I'd find it a bit weird if you're being treated better by women at work simply for owning a house.

meme_lords_unite · 2021-12-19T10:36:08+00:00

Yes. This is why you never flaunt wealth unless you are looking for superficial hookups. If you are looking for something serious, you never disclose you have anything of value.

da_trealest · 2021-12-19T03:45:46+00:00

Anyone coming off as a grifter is a red flag!

LotBuilder · 2021-12-19T04:59:48+00:00

Have you ever known a girl that lost 50lbs and got hotter. Better clothes, better hair cut, etc. Its the same. You can be a wimp about it or realize how life works. If you want people to love you just for existing… turn into a dog or child. We are men, love comes with conditions and expectations

SmurfESmurferson · 2021-12-19T03:24:46+00:00

Honestly, I know a number of men who acquired assets - up to and including a home - in the hope that women will treat them differently

This is standard male behavior

Whether or not it works? I don’t know, I don’t see how women respond. But men have been doing it for eons, so I’m assuming it works well

See also: men buying sports cars

dbz19 · 2021-12-19T12:14:39+00:00

Yes of course what the fuck. Its basically like saying "I find you unattractive but I find your money attractive"

Demasii · 2021-12-19T03:10:32+00:00

Owning a car makes dating easier.

A house works in a similar manner. You can host dinners, bbqs and other types of social interactions more easily.

Dating in an ideal world would purely be about the person and nothing else. Unfortunately, living in mom's basement, living in an apartment with 2 roommates, working 3 part time jobs to make ends meet, etc make dating logistically hard.

Edit: Forgot to answer the question. Yes it's a red flag.

mandoa_sky · 2021-12-19T08:56:44+00:00

getting it on with roommates around does create a level of extra problems.

neetykeeno · 2021-12-19T13:28:23+00:00

Possibly...but it would be foolish to be too closed minded. More of a caution sign, that you should stop and think in situations regarding them rather than a warning you shouldn't proceed at all. A lot of women are pragmatic about material resources in a manner that doesn't involve faking affection because there are resources but rather involves hiding it if the resources aren't there. Those are two different moral paths and it isn't wrong to stay cool and detached and not persue an an attraction based alliance because it is materially disastrous... that's self control to avoid bringing disaster to two people and a sad but sensible regard for reality, not a manipulative mindset.

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-12-19T05:04:12+00:00

Depends. On it's own? Yes, a red flag.

If they thought you were originally living with your parents or couchsurfing? I know I wouldn't date a guy who was doing either of those, so to find out he's not would change things.

Zcuzz · 2021-12-19T07:39:08+00:00

I take pleasure in rejecting them

Jakes1967 · 2021-12-19T10:06:11+00:00

Do you personally see it as a red flag if someone who wasn't interested in you before later seems interested after they find out you own a home (or other asset)?

Absolutely and this isn't limited to romantic relationships either.

social_mule · 2021-12-19T18:52:08+00:00

Yes.

Quick story...

Years ago a group of friends used to meet up at a local dive bar to throw darts. There were men and women. About half a dozen of us. Anywho, there never seemed to be any attraction betwixt any of us.

As time went on the least attractive female member of our group asked me what I did for work. I told her I was an engineer.

BAM!

She started wearing make up, standing closer to me and when I didn't take the bait she dropped all the subtlety and straight up told me she wanted me to take her to dinner.

Come to find out she had 3 kids from 3 different men and a few portraits on mugshots dot com. Suffice it to say dating her was out of the question even if I wasn't mgtow.

And wouldn't you know it...our larger, blue pilled group tried to frame it as me missing out on a good thing, being lucky to have her and suggested she could help me become a better man. And then I had to cuss them out but that's another story.

staabalo · 2021-12-19T20:15:04+00:00

Yes. In fact it's a black flag. I'm not looking for some kind of "trade" here where I offer security and you offer your.. being a woman or whatever. I want to click with someone regardless of what our situation is.

Insidious-Sid · 2021-12-19T22:35:09+00:00

There are studies that show women will rank men higher in looks when they are told they are from a subset of high-earning men. Women have innate gold-digger instincts as part of their primordial survival instinct, and in the modern world it shows up as hypergamy.

For experimental fun, I mention to a woman in casual conversation that I hold a management position at work in STEM and own a side business.

It never fails. Their eyes always widen and there is more eye contact.

The point is, there is never going to be a relationship, and no "levelling up" of her lifestyle, and no "transactional beta bux relationship" of any kind.

But it's fun to watch how quickly the conversation changes.

Perseus_the_Bold · 2021-12-19T06:07:23+00:00

This happens to me all the time. Plenty of women who had zero interest in me before suddenly become very intrigued by my existence when they find out I have resources.

It isn't an automatic red flag per se because women are attracted to men of means primarily because it signals your maturity. They don't see a guy who is loaded as much as they see a guy who has the intelligence, energy, and survival skills to make it in the world. Women are attracted to fitness and men who have resources are usually very socially fit. After all, women are attracted to stability because they eventually wanna have babies. They want security, safety, reliability and trust more than the actual wealth. They know that if a man has substance he can conjure up resources in the future even if he has none at the moment.

Educational-Cut4177 · 2021-12-19T03:16:48+00:00

Kind of. It shouldn’t be the main reason why they like you but it’s a nice plus. I wouldn’t date a girl for her home, but it’d be really cool if she actually owned a home.

CimZim · 2021-12-19T02:49:47+00:00

Do you personally see it as a red flag if someone who wasn't interested in you before later seems interested after they find out you own a home (or other asset)?

If I owned any assets other than my car and furniture...yes, lol. Although I do have a nice retirement fund and savings coming along so, I guess that counts. Regardless of what it is, it's a red flag for materialistic tendencies. Since I'm frugal and a minimalist it'd show we probably don't have financial ideas in common.

Cupcakelover1985 · 2021-12-19T03:23:13+00:00

Depends on whether or not they have those same assets. If they have the same or similar assets I wouldn’t see it as a red flag. If they didn’t I would.

Zerofication · 2021-12-19T05:53:56+00:00

Dating a man only for his resources is equivalent to dating a woman only for her body. Both are morally wrong even if the other party allows it.

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2021-12-19T12:08:17+00:00

Yes and no.

It is about more than assets. If you are in your 20's and worked hard to get your place then that is an indicator to potential mates that you are a functioning man that is able to set himself goals and work towards them. It is similar to how many women will take a man's wedding band as a sign of him coming pre-approved, that some other woman vetted him and deemed him worth of creating a partnership with him.

It is a green flag on your part that you are not a mooch, that you've got a good work-ethic, understand upkeep etc. etc.

Of course it makes you more attractable to most people, but whether they actively go after you for the asset that is a different story.

I would not take this change in behavior as a red flag unless some girl started hitting on you because of it. She will then probably not be able to hide it if she is materialistic. But that is easily checked out in conversation if you ask about her life-goals and priorities (like whether she'd rather cry in a Rolls Royce than be happy on a bike).

NeutrinoParticle · 2021-12-19T09:14:42+00:00

No, that's not a red flag that's a strobing red warning beacon with hurricane sirens going off.
I wouldn't want a potential partner to know that I make 6 figures until I'm seriously dating.
I want a potential partner to like me for who I am and be attracted to how I look, not my wallet.

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2021-12-19T11:20:44+00:00

Yes. Huge 🚩🚩🚩. They only showed interest after they found out you had a home. They are only into you for your resources and not your looks or personality. This is how you end up being a Beta Bucks. This is the exact reason why I never tell women exactly what I do or how much money I make.

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-Ivar-TheBoneless · 2021-12-19T08:40:02+00:00

Well it's a red flag when it comes to dating, but a good indicator that your moving forward in life.

Men just need to remember that if a girl really likes you, you don't need no money to get her. If they're only giving you attention now that you got money it's because they plan to use you as a beta bucks. Its transactional at that point, she isn't with you because she wants to be with you but because she expects to get paid for it.

Caring_Cactus · 2021-12-19T12:23:05+00:00

People who lead with their egos are controlled by those same impulses and lack of self-control, if they do have self-control it is masked and out to do harm living a transactional life.

These people don't sound genuine, maybe not entirely a red flag if they're just friends, but anything more sounds fishy.

Laytheblameonluck · 2021-12-19T15:02:27+00:00

Yes, that's a big well-known red flag, see the car door test:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8p1iG-6d-w

Yupperdoodledoo · 2021-12-19T16:14:54+00:00

It’s just as likely it made you look more responsible, mature, and manage your money well. Unless these women are poor themselves come from backgrounds where owning a home is a sign of being rich.

pubgmisc · 2021-12-19T16:30:42+00:00

Women love opportunistically, men love idealistically. Not a surprise, up to you on how to maneuver it. Is she chaste and can make a lemonade? great

jojo0507 · 2021-12-19T20:47:12+00:00

This goes both ways. I'm a 39 year old female and I've noticed that guys are more interested when they find out I own my own home. Lots of people date not to be homeless. Both men and women.

StacksFifthAve · 2021-12-20T03:25:17+00:00

The goal is to discern if she’s interested in you or what you have and I’d say the way to do that harkens back to the Muhammad Ali quote about not wanting to be around people who treat the waiters and janitors like shit because of the self-awareness to understand that it would you she would treat that way if you were not Ali.

figuringMylife · 2021-12-20T09:05:48+00:00

only you can decide your red flags as long as they’re not directly harming u or anyone

only dumb or rich girls go after men purely for looks. majority of women find stability hot but that also means you’re probably average/good looking yourself. which is good imo. most girls aren’t into ugly homeowners. or also, maybe ur just awakened to most of these girls being polite in the first place but now that ppl know u have a house ur more conscious of what info is out there and what you believe people view you as sooo idk what to tell ya.

kyjolski · 2021-12-20T23:25:56+00:00

No, but I never go out of my way to bring up my income/material status.

wtknight · 2021-12-19T03:04:21+00:00

No, not too much, because I think that beta traits are important in what want out of men in relationships, and I wouldn't date anyone who would just have casual sex with pure alpha men. I think that if she's enthusiastic and aroused during sex and is obviously attracted to me then I don't mind if she's attracted to any assets that I have, too, because that's part of what women should want from men in my opinion - someone who they know will help give their potential offspring a good life.

AloneOnTheStrange · 2021-12-19T03:52:48+00:00

Maybe, it depends. When I was younger I might have been turned off, and thought she should love me for who I am. But now, it's just the nature of the beast. Having someone attracted to you because you have money is no different than having any other "shallow" trait, like muscles or good grooming.

But, there are limits. It depends on how she treated you or saw you before hand. If she was friendly and respectful towards me before wealth, then it would be fine. But if she ignored me, have me cold shoulders ect. Then major red flag, probably wouldn't even one night stand.

razormachine · 2021-12-19T11:39:05+00:00

For me, woman showing increased interest is not a red flag.

Women going 180 over it are Soviet Union in term of red flags.

HansomeSeaCoral · 2021-12-19T14:17:01+00:00

No woman will like you for only you unless you're good looking/tall. It's not a red flag it's just normal behavior.

midwestufohunter · 2021-12-19T17:19:07+00:00

Yeah? But it’s also reasonable to be more interested in dating someone w their life together. Plenty of women are breadwinners in their relationship. Date those women if it’s an issue for you.

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