Men and women flipping roles in terms of pursuing sex

PhysicallyLethal · 2022-02-14T02:42:03+00:00

It’s definitely been a thing that’s been stated in this sub by women, talking about how some women have extremely overbearing parents during HS, and going to college is a new level of freedom to explore a side of them that’s been suppressed for a hot minute.

I would say this is relatable, as well as reasonable (to those that can understand the concept). I was friends with a girl last semester (we both 20) who was Asian, and had such overbearing parents during HS, I think she coulda been a nun eventually. I legit didn’t see her past friendship on any level, and I made this clear, though it goes without saying when u just met somebody, but I digress.

I excommunicated because she wasn’t looking for just a friend and I wasn’t tryna have sex, but I wouldn’t be surprised or disappointed if/when she eventually gets what she wants out of life, more power to her. What hookup culture entails isn’t what I want out of life, and those experiences didn’t take me in the direction I wanted to go.

College is a place where somebody figures out who they are, and there’s no 1 way to do that. I think as far as a relationship with someone important to u goes, sex is the least of ur worries, because anyone can have experiences, but if u weren’t there for that experience then all you’ll see is what they learned from it, whether hookups made them more mature or flippant about sex, stuff like that, I guess.

TheElusivePeacock · 2022-02-14T02:42:36+00:00

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IHaveSalesQuestions · 2022-02-14T02:14:40+00:00

All I’ll say is this. Keep doing what you’re doing. It’s smart. Don’t let any chick or dude convince you otherwise.

It’s relatable for me. There’s risk in every hookup and there’s time lost in every casual relationship.

yes
No, it’s always been like that. Some girls are easy and some are not.
It depends on how engaged she was. It would also depend on what lessons were learned and insights gained while she was living that life.

decoy88 · 2022-02-14T10:18:36+00:00

A large chunk of colleges have more women than men (some even 2:1 ratio)

This is most likely what you are experiencing.

ride-or-die1 · 2022-02-14T02:45:21+00:00

It’s called tinder a lot of chicks that want to get down

Consistent_Wear_1224 · 2022-02-14T16:30:14+00:00

I go to Uni in Germany and this is not my experience since most people of both genders are socially awkward.

I think it might be due to American culture and expectations that girls need to be fun girls at college and wildin' out. A lot of such superficial and stereotypic stuff in this sub is coming from American culture

And I also think women are more socially savvy and know how to present theselves as desirable. So they project this fun, sexual persona

NICHIJOU2411 · 2022-02-14T04:35:02+00:00

I feel ya. I’m 19M about to head into my 3rd year.
Yes I think so. It’s gonna feel weird seeing the changes
No because I really don’t need that stress when there’s other stuff to do.

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-02-14T12:51:41+00:00

Your experience is not relatable because I did the same thing in my 20s. People don't marry the one who took their virginity. This is some Disney fantasy shit.
I don't think roles are flipping. I think women are becoming hyper-picky and that pickiness is even higher while they're young. Some women can get a LTR out of casual sex, some will end up 30+ and single, and find it increasingly hard to date. I've seen it a million times.
I think you should engage in the 'college experience'. I wish I had done it more before I married, back when I was a fucking stud. Look at it the same way women are, you're "shopping around".

JacobMugatu666 · 2022-02-14T09:38:38+00:00

Why would a young girl who has the opportunity to taste a bunch of different dicks get handcuffed to one?

glowupresearch · 2022-02-14T06:41:19+00:00

Women just don’t have the blinders on they had in past generations anymore. By college women have already spent almost two decades learning that men mostly perceive them as things to use for sex, or status, or as a therapist/house cleaner/baby maker. They’ve internalized the narrative that men just want to use them for sex, and have decided well if that’s the game I guess I’ll play it.

I just read that casual sex is really bad for human brains (both genders, because 99999% of the stuff this sub thinks is gender divided is really just decent people vs shitty people). It makes it really hard to form real connections later in life. But I don’t see any coming back from this on either side, because while there are some decent, loving humans out there they are few and far between. Finding someone like that is kind of like betting on the lottery, and it sadly makes a lot of sense to beat that ability to form connection out of yourself when it will likely just get abused.

spinsterchachkies · 2022-02-14T07:29:57+00:00

Yes. Women and men are flipping roles. Have been for a while now. It’s sad to watch.

dlanor_tterra · 2022-02-14T06:13:53+00:00

It's definitely relatable to me. I feel like if I'm not trying to smash, the girls will nothing to do with me

I'm not sure if it's changed cuz it's all I know. There are a lot of things I thought growing up that aren't true, and this could just be another one. Things might not be different than before, but social media is now putting everything out in the open.

If you're uncomfortable with it then you shouldn't date those girls, but it might be harder to find a girl. I just don't ask. Ignorance is bliss

DXBrigade · 2022-02-14T12:20:56+00:00

It's the college mentality. Don't force yourself, they are plenty of women who aren't into casual sex, even in college.

spacemanofthezone · 2022-02-14T17:30:05+00:00

Consider this: when women used to be financially dependent on men, men used to be financial/security instruments. This is not biological, but social. We are hunter gatherers, paternal investment is overrated in terms of biological urges. Men being providers is mostly bullshit. I mean, it's a social role, but not one women are that much sexually interested in. Romantic and sexual interest is inspired mostly by HOT guys, especially with young women who have little life experience, real value system they've developed and own, and really, any personality except for the one that's been forced on them as a social mask.

A young high-libido woman is naturally after the best genes she can lay her hands on. Not that much different than men. Now that women are financially independent and really not in any need of protection from men, they follow their true desires, they don't need to censor them.

However, with humans, social conditioning is more than a second nature: it becomes almost as strong as the first nature. People are very good at wearing masks and lying, and they can also lie to themselves. So I think a lot of women truly BELIEVE they are attracted mainly to personality in men, but how come it's always the hottest men with the best personalities?

Also consider sperm competition, the need to have a diverse offspring in terms of genes to ensure immunity against various diseases and adaptability to different conditions, etc. A woman is what society calls a slut by nature, it has it. It has to be controlled and moderated, because when we don't control our impulses bad things tend to happen. Not only with men, but with drugs, drink, etc. A lot of times we can pull it off and stay safe, though. A little party never killed nobody.

Just notice how much hotter male leads in movies have become since women became more financially independent. It used to be men other men respected and liked (Sean Connory, Jimmy Stewart, etc. ugly mfs). Now it's James Franco, Brad Pitt, etc. That's what women want. Sex and romance with hot guys, and when in dire need, sex with passable discrete guys with basic hygiene. Just accept us and love us as we are, most of us are trying to be decent people and a lot are succeeding, but we ain't that pure, angelic and non-superficial as you'd like us to be. We like pleasure.

TL;DR Looks like you are a hot guy, congrats. Women love to fuck hot guys.

skunkbear444 · 2022-02-14T04:13:52+00:00

Women without the fear of being labeled for being promiscuous, understand they are allowed to have Chad hunts and bucket list items because "that was college". This sort of mentality was always on its way, it is just after 2017 and the MeToo era began all men now can get financial consequences for being caught voicing any opinion disapproving of this behavior.

You are just seeing women doing what they actually want to be doing.

Fit-Photograph1646 · 2022-02-14T02:36:11+00:00

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Over_Noise3530 · 2022-02-14T03:27:05+00:00

I've met a few guys with ed and one with a bent dick so I'm trying to screen for those asap.

2022-02-14T02:16:11+00:00

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Academic_Snow_7680 · 2022-02-14T13:01:27+00:00

I'd say this is pretty representative for your age and your situation. Early on in college few people are trying to settle down, it changes in only 2-3 years.

toasterchild · 2022-02-14T15:53:52+00:00

I'm not sure men really are less relationship driven, it's just more socially acceptable for them to be open about it when they aren't. I have always thought most men tend to be clingy and possessive.

ringringbasedpolice · 2022-02-14T16:37:41+00:00

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Pola_Lita · 2022-02-14T03:17:37+00:00

Some women are more interested in sex than in relationships. It's the same as it is for men.

I think our culture is constantly changing as regards male/female expectations, including relationships. I can't see any reason it wouldn't continue unless women were to lose some of the independence that has caused the change.

I hope that never happens.

I think it depends on a man's personal expectations of women as to whether he'd be comfortable dating women greater sexual experience/more liberal POV around sex. Or whether it would be good for her, either. Women have been doing that forever but men haven't really been held to account the way women have.

GVM3SnakeBeater · 2022-02-14T10:31:54+00:00

Why should they want relationship?

They can LITERALY have any dick they want with low to minimum effort and any dick they don't want with no effort. Denying this is denying reality. Slutshaming culture has been stamped out in the West and it's a woman's game now. Girls problems are different. Average girl would have majority of male population on one knee with a ring if they gave the signal but they keep waiting for top 5%ers that flip the game on them. An endless loop of trying to "fuck upward" and failing.

flapperfemmefatale · 2022-02-14T03:58:17+00:00

When I was that age, I had casual sex. What usually, if not always, happened is that at some point I realized the guy didn't meet my standards for a relationship. That's basically all it was.

I never pursued sex, however. If it happened, it happened, but I never went out with sex as an intent.

cautionTomorrow555 · 2022-02-14T03:33:13+00:00

I think part of this is just university because I noticed the same thing where there some of the women were not interested in relationships or even casual sex. On the other hand I knew tons of guys mostly various types of engineers who didn't want casual sex and wanted a relationship but never could get one. I never understood the women you are literally at the peak of your looks and can demand the most and are never again going to be surrounded by as many same aged peers as you are now why are you saying no not now?

WilliamWyattD · 2022-02-14T04:18:24+00:00

Cultural and environmental influences can be strong, and some biological instincts are stronger than others, and can also manifest in different ways.

I do think men are more wired for casual sex than women biologically. But it does not surprise me that in certain contexts women can think they want sex without relationships more than men. However, I do think that this does not mean men and women truly flip--even if the biological differences are overcome to some extent, they don't disappear. They are still there and get their revenge when ignored. I do not think this hook up culture really makes most women happy, and excessive sex without some sort of relationship tends to do significant damage to women that they may not be aware of.

Of course, even though men are better wired for it, I also think too much sex without a relationship structure for properly channeling emotions also damages men, as well.

relish5k · 2022-02-14T03:49:18+00:00

Women get off when they feel like intense objects of male desire (attractive men, naturally). Women are also used to being / socialized to be the one setting sexual boundaries in a relationship.

You sounds like a nice guy with a good head on his shoulders and I don't think you're doing anything wrong over se, but when women feel like you aren't overcome by sexual desire when you're with them, they figure that you're just not really all that attracted to them, which is in itself a ladyboner killer

C_Sec_Matt · 2022-02-14T05:04:29+00:00

Little different for me cause i was in my later 20s when i went to college (military out of high school!)

1) Yes and no. A lot of the younger women were more willing to 'study at my place' than I had imagined. But not as many as a lot would think. Believe it was because I had a home in Hawaii, and was not a dorm :P. Some were even more forward about having sex before studying.

2) Probably. There has already been a heavy shift in virginity, as in way more men are staying virgins until later than women. Good or bad isn't on me to decide. There is however a reason why the 'college slut' trope exists, because its pretty true. People experiment a lot, and women have an abundance of men willing to do pretty much anything they want for the promise of some pussy. They will make their mistakes, have a 'come to jesus' moment at some point and settle out of it...mostly.

3) Personally IDC if she went through that phase. Cause I did as a man. I can separate sex from 'making love' and assume most others can. What I DO care about in this case is what can be brought back up that may humiliate her, or me as her husband/BF in a professional setting. I.e. find her on the 'hub'.

If you do not like hookup culture, do not participate. I recommend still kind of 'dating around' and interacting with women, though. You want to keep your dating game on point. If the urge hits you, it will be much easier to seal the deal this way.

Enjoy your college life in ways you want to...just make sure you pass your classes and start to forge a future for yourself that will make you more attractive to the type of woman you want.

42nanaimobars · 2022-02-14T12:28:02+00:00

“1. Is this a relatable experience?”

No. I’m a university student. I’m the same age as you. My program is math and physics. Connect the dots…

“2. Do you think that this signifies a change in dating culture and that this will continue when my generation reaches our late 20s and beyond?”

No. You’re looking at a small sample size.

“3. If you are like me and uncomfortable with hookup culture, would you be okay with dating a woman that had engaged in the “college experience” kind of stuff?”

I’m a woman. I’m uncomfortable with hookup culture. I would prefer not to date a guy who engaged in that kind of stuff (it kind of reveals not so great aspects of a person’s personality and values).

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Suck-Less · 2022-02-14T13:26:03+00:00

We have always had the dating environment that women want. Y’all act like this is something new and it’s not. If there is a difference today, it’s that women have stopped pretending they want to be mothers, wives or non promiscuous.

dewajtis_ · 2022-02-14T13:37:35+00:00

Women who want relationships don't go to college parties or waste their time in bars, since they have more interesting things to do.

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-02-14T14:06:26+00:00

Generally though, those women are ugly.

RealNiceLady · 2022-02-14T14:39:03+00:00

1) I can't get a man because of this issue 2)yes

Hopeful_Optimist_ · 2022-02-14T15:25:28+00:00

Why are you complaining lol

This is great news 🥳

TheEndTrend · 2022-02-14T15:49:38+00:00

Yes. When I was in college I was a musician and hung out with the "theater kids" (plenty of attractive women and mostly gay dudes). It was easy, but this was the notoriously liberal, party crowd.
Perhaps, but who knows. Worth mentioning, my aforementioned college experience was about 15 years ago.
I'm dating for marriage now, so no. That's not the kind of woman I want as mother of my future kids. Back in my 20s I would've probably been ok with it (just for fun).

Synzael · 2022-02-14T15:59:05+00:00

Alot of girls would rather screen for sexual compatibility first. Just become a sex god then after one time u can ghost them and they won't forget you ;)

gimpgirl555 · 2022-02-14T16:15:32+00:00

It's just a game bro, we've all done it: "oh no, you don't need to be my bf, we can just fuck". Guys always far for it.

OldSimpsonsisbetter · 2022-02-14T16:44:32+00:00

From my experience, if a woman is interested, she won't make you wait for sex. She will hint at the subject kind of early. This is not slutty women either. They were generally quiet more reserved types of women. Women don't make guys they like wait ages for sex or give silly mixed signals. They are quite clear with who they like in my experience.

Any guy who thinks different is just trying to rationalize his lack of interest from women or trying to rationalize that a woman's mixed/no signals means she is playing "hard to get" lol.

edit: and to answer your question, yes I think a lot of women do actually want short term sex or brief dating but nothing more. particularly the more masculine-acting women I've noticed.

just_a_place · 2022-02-14T17:03:05+00:00

Young girls ain't interested in relationships just as they ain't interested in adulting yet. They are having the time of their life on the cock carousel so they aren't thinking about no relationships.

But my advice to fellow guys is that if you want a serious relationship and I mean for real with none of the drama and zero BS expand your horizons and seek to date women who are over 30. Once women grow past all this nonsense they become more serious and they also show you better appreciation as a man instead of taking you for granted.

This is definitely a flipping of the roles because now its more common for older women to date and get relationships from younger men who are more willing to have them.

DocRock3m · 2022-02-14T18:28:19+00:00

It's always been that way. Dudes just never noticed

CandleLess · 2022-02-14T18:31:56+00:00

Yes, very relatable. I thought I'd be the one breaking it off with girls, but generally it's been the other way around
Probably not, because girls are much more receptive to relationships once they've gotten being wild "out of their system" once they are a junior or senior, and even more out of college
Can't speak to this since I generally enjoyed hookup culture

Helpful_Adeptness813 · 2022-02-14T18:52:47+00:00

Lmao

Helpful_Adeptness813 · 2022-02-14T18:58:18+00:00

Bruh i hope i ain't having a daughter if i manage to get a kid, fr the stories I've heard from college girls or girls in general when it comes to sex is straight up disgusting and disrespectful, but somehow girls seems to like guys like that, like damn imagine your daughter, you sweet little daughter, your world who you have been taken care of her whole life and seen her grow up from a baby, to a toddler, to a young child, early teenage and then later teen, taking 4 in her mouth and get used like a whore, damn, the thought alone makes me wanna puke

ringringbasedpolice · 2022-02-14T20:09:40+00:00

Yes. Men's SMV is what they can now base their RMV potential on. Used to be the other way around. Women fuck on the first or second date or not at all. After fucking if you do a good job they'll text you for more and maybe even try to get to know you. This is doubly true since the start of the pandemic. Anyone who says otherwise is delusional or inexperienced.

scwizard · 2022-02-14T21:37:45+00:00

I've heard some weird stuff but I can't put numbers on it. I'm 32 but when I was in highschool there was this really hot redhead chick that would get guys who had girlfriends blackout drunk and force herself on them.

She was a SA victim herself I think I've heard. Also she was "dating" a guy in his 30s who would (accurately tbh) accuse her of cheating on him and hit her, and she was also "dating" this lesbian girl who she did some modeling with.

Teenagers are scary whatever generation they're from and it's kinda hard to predict trends off of any sorta anecdote.

scwizard · 2022-02-14T21:55:25+00:00

Is it just me or does r/teenagers have regular "Girls can sexually Harass boys too." threads? They have one on the front page right now.

IcarusKiki · 2022-02-15T02:43:55+00:00

I think its because men see a spouse as a support in their life while women see a spouse as a potential drain. Like it or not traditionally before the Boomer era the wife would take care of the house and tend to the mans needs while the man worked as he did before. Boomers made it so that both sexes work, but the 50/50 thing did not work out perfectly as the wife was still doing most of the work at home and supporting the husband. Millennials and Gen Z saw this dynamic play out with their parents and now young women are disenchanted with the 50/50 concept since they saw their moms still being homemakers even when working.

Why should young women want a bf/spouse when its just going to be more work on them?

RedPill115 · 2022-02-15T07:01:52+00:00

Despite this, any girl I have been involved with has generally been quick to try to fuck me, where sometimes this has happened in intimate situations and I end up declining because I feel uncomfortable, or otherwise meeting girls/going on dates and then they become disinterested when you don’t "put out".
1. Is this a relatable experience?

Yes, very.

musicm4n · 2022-02-16T21:55:57+00:00

All the men need to pay attention to all the women justifying being a hoe. These are the women you dont want anyways. Leave em alone let them hit their early 30s and start freaking the fuck out because they came to the realization that they dont actually have the time they thought they did.

TheEternalGhost · 2022-02-14T02:43:30+00:00

Is this a relatable experience?

The quick to sex part is relatable. I'm great in the kitchen so my SOP is to cook for them on the second or third date and it always ends up in the bedroom after that. I've found that if you do a good job in the kitchen and the bedroom they always want to see you again. I'm quite a lot older than you though so it's a different demographic of women.

Do you think that this signifies a change in dating culture and that this will continue when my generation reaches our late 20s and beyond?

I don't think we can completely escape our biology. As promiscuous as young women are right now, I think as they get older most will still want to find a husband so they can settle down and have children. Many (more) will leave it too late and need IVF or fail to reproduce entirely, but I think the biological drive is still going to be there to try.

If you are like me and uncomfortable with hookup culture, would you be okay with dating a woman that had engaged in the “college experience” kind of stuff?

Not really, but I don't like being lied to so I just don't ask. If you want to avoid those women there are ways to improve your odds, such as finding a religious woman, or a woman from a conservative culture, etc.

Pr0_Pr0crastinat0r · 2022-02-14T02:53:31+00:00

Do you think actions define people? I think what you want today might be different than what you want tomorrow. I dont think you should be judged for your needs from today or tomorrow. I think that when we get annoyed or too critical about someone else actions, its because it touches on some part of us. Is it possible you Could be a tiny bit jealous of these girls because it could have bee easier to fit in as a guy that wants to have sex without a relationship?

I think its awesome that you realized your preference and are respecting your limits / needs.

Title	Men and women flipping roles in terms of pursuing sex
Author	qtiphead97
Upvotes	72
Comments	280
Date	February 14, 2022 2:10 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/srz6n2/men_and_women_flipping_roles_in_terms_of_pursuing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-and-women-flipping-roles-in-terms-of-pursuing.1100777 https://theredarchive.com/post/1100777

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