I am just so... disappointed

FancyCocktailOlive · 2022-02-19T21:23:37+00:00

I’m so sorry but you won’t regret this. I’ve been with a PA and I’m still scarred from it. No live woman can compete with a man’s addiction, whether it’s porn, alcohol, cocaine….

Creepy-Night936 · 2022-02-20T00:11:53+00:00

My boyfriend for 7 years was like this and I broke up with him. He wanted me for sex and would compare me to women he saw on porn. It's devastating because I genuinely loved him but his porn addiction was the end of us. Currently now, all men I've met are porn addicted and proud of it.

queen_azulaa · 2022-02-19T21:26:38+00:00

The best or nothing at all. Gone are the days when we have to play therapist ride-or-die bangmaids. Im very sorry for what happened. Im just glad youre out of that relationship. Imagine if you werent strong in your boundaries and stuck with him regardless? In a year youll be reduced to a real life sex object just so you can have some form of distorted intimacy. The best or nothing at all.

Determinedblonde · 2022-02-19T21:37:51+00:00

Well done 👏🏻 it’s so easy to carry on and let this destroy you. Nope, he destroyed himself, no going down with this ship!

myheartisfulloflove · 2022-02-19T21:02:05+00:00

Good for you, that must've been very difficult. And I'm so sorry that this hurts. I absolutely understand and also lived the singlehood during the pandemic, but unlike him? I didn't succumb into the world of pornography in order to get my fix. Anyone can do it. He's just making up excuses. He's an addict and he needs help, but you are not a rehabilitation center for him, so you've done the right thing in letting him go.

bleda_princezna · 2022-02-19T21:24:59+00:00

[permanently deleted]

londochig · 2022-02-19T20:36:21+00:00

You're human. It's normal to feel sad and emotional. Glad you left him. Most pickmes would stay and do all the emotional work of taking him through therapy, etc. I'm glad you followed FDS principles, did what's best for you and left. I'm so so so proud of you OP. You did the right thing. Your future self with thank you ❤️

warinmymind94 · 2022-02-20T06:46:28+00:00

You're a queen and you did the right thing, even though it does hurt. It's valid to hurt, he ruined himself and let you down.

Sex is a part of committed healthy relationships and that's not possible for men with PIED. they will never be able to give you the sex you deserve. So, next. Give yourself time to heal you dodged so much more future disappointment and issues with him.

Noemie_Mathilde · 2022-02-20T01:12:17+00:00

Good move. Men need to learn that PIED is not acceptable in relationships. Walk away. You deserve better.

purasangria · 2022-02-19T21:36:57+00:00

Brava! We don't have to settle.

2022-02-19T21:46:16+00:00

My whole marriage ended because of it. Many men are super addicted to it and some don’t even recognize it or think it’s a problem. You did the right thing. He should not have dated you since he has this issue. Unfortunately, there are many people who learn what they want at other peoples’ expenses.

ready2leav · 2022-02-20T04:49:01+00:00

HOLY INSPIRATIONAL👑

MadamePotpourri · 2022-02-19T22:15:28+00:00

Queen!!!!!!

I'm so proud of you that you dumped him. Imagine if you had stayed, you'd be dealing with a sad limp dick every time you wanted to have sex. No woman deserves that!

Leave him and his floppy pp alone. Dude literally jerked his dick until it broke. FDS queens deserve way better than that 👑

Gologic34 · 2022-02-19T22:56:29+00:00

Did you find him OLD? I find OLD was a job lot of PIED, PIDE, micropeens, and other lovely surprises you always find out a little too late . . .

flower_vulva · 2022-02-19T21:54:07+00:00

I just wonder if he also would have cried and been devastated if his porn consumption didn't lead to ED. "Porn addiction" didn't lead to the demise of your relationship. HE caused the demise of your relationship with his conscious choice to beat his dick to artificial, most likely violent, scenes of other people having sex devoid of intimacy. Have you SEEN mainstream porn lately? It's horrifying. If he was so lONelY, he would have sought out online communities to make friends.

You have absolutely nothing to feel insecure or bad about. Why would you want to compete with women that are reduced to objects to be used and abused? You should be angry instead that he was capable of watching something so disgusting, violating, and frankly stupid, often enough so that his dick stopped working. What a loser, he weeded himself out of the gene pool.

CascadiyaBA · 2022-02-19T22:22:52+00:00

I'm so sorry this happened to you. P0rn destroys A LOT, it's sad. Worst is that society still behaves as if p0rn is sooo great and "enhances" our sex life when in reality, it ruins it. 🙄 And if you don't enable your husbands p0rn addiction, you're a terrible woman.

Good for you for being able to stand up for yourself!

t3ddi · 2022-02-20T01:58:47+00:00

I would bet money, that in the future he just hides it completely.

LadyWizzard · 2022-02-19T20:54:39+00:00

It's a shame he decided to ruin himself for love and relationships but that was his decision and is now his issue to deal with. Live and learn 💁

PerspicaciousCat · 2022-02-19T20:34:10+00:00

I’m so sorry..how awful and disappointing. But you should be so proud of yourself that you stuck to your guns and put yourself first. Sad how many men are like this.

MsWriteNow07 · 2022-02-19T23:28:05+00:00

Wow. I’m so sorry, but I’m very proud of you for walking away instantly. That took a lot of courage

tonha_da_pamonha · 2022-02-20T12:31:39+00:00

Good move. Sorry this happened, I know that must have been hard. Even when the guy knows he has a problem, its still always going to e a problem. It'll always be there tempting him, and he already had severe brain damage from it so its a long road to recovery, if that's even possible. You did the right thing.

TheMostOfMe · 2022-02-19T21:35:25+00:00

I am so impressed with you. This is some Queen shit right here. As I was reading I was so excited for you, and for you to be able to do that when he sitting there crying about it, I’m just so impressed with you. The universe WILL reward you for your good choices and your strength.

smart-tart23 · 2022-02-19T22:14:15+00:00

This is a great example of Queen sh*t! Man, kudos to you for valuing yourself and pushing past those feelings 💕

Noemie_Mathilde · 2022-02-20T01:19:11+00:00

This is also a good example of why is is a good idea to sleep with a man (on your own personal timeline, and sufficient vetting). No-one wants to discover things like this on their wedding night. You dodged a bullet!

ShegoGreen · 2022-02-21T10:00:59+00:00

"I don't really understand why he was dating or what he was getting out of it..."

Contrary to popular belief, men deeply desire women's attention and affection (non-sexual) and having a girlfriend gives them a certain kind of security in themselves and status. Men often fail to connect emotionally with themselves or other men, so it's a relief for them when they can be vulnerable with their partners.

This pure affection is what porn will never be able to replicate because this is the natural way women and men were meant to love each other: trust, kindness, self-sacrifice, etc. These qualities are fundamental to long-lasting relationships. Porn is the opposite. It highlights every unnatural, fleeting, degrading, aspect of this fallen world. Men want the affection within the natural course of love, but certain men choose to keep porn around in exchange for truth. And it's a destructive price to pay in the long run. They exchange self-sacrifice for self-destruction.

"It just sucks to see it. I know it's not a reflection on me, but it made me feel so insecure and bad about myself."

I have felt similar to you. Society has glorified and normalized porn for so long, that it makes you feel like you are problem. You're not just a prude anymore, you're a scored insecure woman who's driven by inner hatred if you oppose porn. You're the bad guy if you don't, "let" guys watch porn. You're against women's, "empowerment" if you hate porn.

Men are even proud of being addicted to porn. The pinnacle of male humor, is always related to mundane sexual banter that is entirely unfunny while simultaneously degrading women.

But, if you keep reminding yourself of the facts, the truth, you will see that there is no weight whatsoever to the pro-porn stance. To keep myself sane in this perverted world, I like to read studies found in university databases on how porn affects boy's/men's mental health and aggression towards women, how porn is highly linked to human trafficking, and the continual exploitation of minors and abused porn-stars within the industry. I read also read studies on the mental health of porn-stars, and the abuse then endure. I've come to the conclusion that being loved tenderly and respectfully is the essence of authentic love, and every woman deserves to be loved that way. Nothing will ever convince me that porn is good for society, because the facts don't lie. The abuse doesn't lie. Only the men watching it lie to themselves.

evezinto · 2022-02-19T21:56:35+00:00

I think u should be proud of yourself and not spending energy on being disappointed with someone else's filth.

His choice to use other women and watch trafficked and hurt women for his pleasure is a choice that reveals how disgusting he is in many ways especially morally.

You deserve a mentally, physically, spiritually and morally healthy male.

2022-02-20T00:01:47+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ExpensiveGrace · 2022-02-20T00:24:18+00:00

Kudos to you for doing the right thing. He may seem wonderful, but if he is that much into porn there has to be a nasty side you aren't seeing yet. HVMs don't get off to that shit, much less get addicted to it. Good riddance.

howlsmovingcactus · 2022-02-19T21:59:42+00:00

I admire your strength. They key here isn't that you're denying or repressing your feelings, because sometimes, that may feel like the only "answer" to being deeply hurt.

You instead kept expectations from taking over... not really your own, but more so the ones HE created with an orchestrated romantic vibe and by projecting a normal, well-rounded version of himself that actually doesn't exist. He was hoping that you would be attached to this possibility of an amazing relationship with an amazing man. And then he tried to prey on your empathy and concern by waiting to dump his addiction on you in such a heated moment.

You are ROCK SOLID. Major kudos for walking away.

TigreImpossibile · 2022-02-20T00:06:05+00:00

Sorry this happened to you. I had a similar relationship with a similar timeline and I thought it was probably good that he wasn't "sleazy" and trying to get in my pants straight away...

Even though I don't believe in casual sex, I am a very sexual person and I did tell him on our very first date that great sex and sexual connection is important to me... So almost 3 months later when he tells me he has diabetes induced ED and can't fucking get it up, I was PISSED.

Like what you said, WHY ARE YOU EVEN DATING? Wasting people's time and emotions. And you know, he felt hard done by when I ended things. Whatever. I didn't sign up for someone breathing and sweating on me and snoring in my bed for no reason. We would have made great friends if he had been honest, FFS.

thewetdog_ · 2022-02-19T23:36:26+00:00

So proud of you. This is what we love to see!

Hedgeschwein · 2022-02-19T21:45:35+00:00

Been at this same place with a man I had amazing chemistry with. It is truly tragic that you had to make this choice, but, like me, you are far better off without him. It was just a matter of time before he was devaluing you. Cut. Delete. Next!

millennialpink2000 · 2022-02-19T20:28:43+00:00

Wow, sorry to hear how disappointed you were. How weak to allow himself to fall into a porn addiction. But, good on you for doing the right thing for yourself. He's on his own journey and needs to deal with himself, it's not your responsibility. If he wants to be with you, he'll fix himself.

leekykeeks · 2022-02-20T03:09:58+00:00

Porn steals intimacy away from couples. You have every right to be angry at him. You did the right thing.

HaiBambi · 2022-02-19T23:23:33+00:00

The best or nothing - that is such a good mantra. Thanks for sharing that and your story! I'm in a similar situation. I just broke it off with someone I really clicked with and loved and who was just amazing in general and I keep thinking "well maybe I can get over the one thing..." but you're right. The best or nothing at all. Thanks again for sharing! Stay strong in your decision ❤️👑

rysedg · 2022-02-20T01:07:07+00:00

This might be my favorite post I’ve ever read here. I’m so proud of you. I’m also so sorry for the pain. Those first few magic months… and then… it must have been so crushing. You did the right thing. You are so very strong!! And so smart, and unfortunately so RIGHT. Personally I am uncomfortable with just plain gratuitous female nudity in a movie (like, why? Just so men can provide other men an image to think about that night, without him having to say he watched porn?) so I can totally totally understand feeling like you’re going to have to compete with an image when it’s actual hardcore porn! In the long run I never ever could have stayed with a man like this either. You can, and will, do better. But I am sorry for your loss, all the same❤️

souredskittles · 2022-02-20T08:11:54+00:00

I wouldn’t expect anything less from a strategy coach .This is a great example for our newbies. PIED is a complete showstopper.

Also a quick warning, these guys know their limp dicks are undesirable so they might excuse themselves to “pump up” in the bathroom before returning to the bedroom. They turn on porn and start jacking it to return completely hard to the bedroom. Watch out for these fluffers.

ViragoWarrior · 2022-02-19T21:45:26+00:00

It's totally cool, mama. More fish out there in the sea! Hope you're doing okay. ❤

Witchery772 · 2022-02-19T21:45:20+00:00

Respect ❤️

Worldofweenies · 2022-02-19T21:48:26+00:00

You made the right choice! So inspirational to hear of other women sticking to their boundaries. Thank you for sharing.

ZookeepergameGlad611 · 2022-02-19T23:41:44+00:00

You should be so proud of yourself. Leaving something that made you feel good 99% of the time is so difficult. But you deserve to have that kind of emotional connection WITH physical intimacy.

I'm with you though on the part where it just really sucks. 🫂

scooter_se · 2022-02-25T19:41:13+00:00

I think men with PIED think the ultimate treatment is for a woman to fix them. It’s a lot easier to believe that instead of confronting the root issue: porn. Why bother self reflecting when you can just get a girlfriend to fix it for you?

AdGlum5014 · 2022-02-19T23:06:14+00:00

More power to you girl ! You did the right thing

Title	I am just so... disappointed
Author	GIfuckingJane
Upvotes	1612
Comments	70
Date	February 19, 2022 8:13 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/switi2/i_am_just_so_disappointed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-am-just-so-disappointed.1102420 https://theredarchive.com/post/1102420

Comments