Men and women, have you ever been the "Chad/Stacy" who she/he was cheating with? What are your feelings on it now?

masterlaster1199 · 2022-06-14T05:24:31+00:00

I had a married coworker way back when flirt heavily with me and then ask me if I wanted to start seeing him. His wife had just had a baby like 3 months prior and “was never in the mood anymore.” Luckily when I said no he was angry and never spoke to me again.

I’m average btw. Not “that girl” by any stretch.

MasterTeacher123 · 2022-06-14T11:41:01+00:00

I remember Cam Newton on his podcast said throughout his life he’s always been the guy that countless girls cheat on their boyfriends/husbands with so that had caused him at times to be jaded about commitment.

vuvvuvvu · 2022-06-14T03:27:17+00:00

I've always thought about being that guy, I got the looks for it, and some candidates.

If you consider yourself an attractive guy with options I’m sure you get girls that ARE single so I’m curious what the appeal of cheating with a woman would be? Is it just one of those “its wrong but feels good” kinda thing?

FineDevelopment00 · 2022-06-14T04:50:00+00:00

have you ever been the "Stacy" who he was cheating with?

No, but I could have if I'd been into them and didn't have morals, neither of which was ever the case for me. I still feel the same way about the degenerates who do that - utterly disgusted. Don't do it, man.

plasticpollution12 · 2022-06-14T13:33:23+00:00

my friend did this and ended uo getting his face smashed with a hammer.

Al-Ma_mun · 2022-06-14T04:00:20+00:00

"Amoral" redpill shit is stupid as fuck. Being a good person in all factors of life is the mandatory standard to die as a person with respect for yourself and others around you. Stop falling into the hole a lot of these lost apathetic hedonists want to drag you down into. This is way bigger than getting your dick wet. Maybe it's because I come from an "honor culture" but things like questioning whether or not its ok to participate in infidelity is almost like asking if it's ok to steal or hurt others physically for your own pleasure(not saying you are doing this but its a similar perception)

Gigamon2014 · 2022-06-14T09:32:59+00:00

It's crazy. I've been with hardly any cheaters (that I know of) except for one I can remember. She was stunning but she also claimed to have been a former escort. I met her in the gym and wasn't remotely aware she had a boyfriend. He sounded like a kook though so I'm not sure I can cry tears for him.

Funnily enough I've smashed probably over a hundred mens wives with their husbands consent. For all the talk about cheating, there are a surprising amount of men who are seemingly turned on by it.

Barneysparky · 2022-06-14T03:12:14+00:00

In my life, which has had a lot of experience I've only been that person once. And when I found out I was literally sick to my stomach for weeks thinking about the chaos I'd become entangled with, the red flags I had ignored, etc.

It was a huge growing-up moment.

I did not think, "look how hot I am compared to her", I thought I was dirt for contributing to the pain this is causing this woman, and my youth is another slap in the face. It was a horrid time.

mmm_try_again12345 · 2022-06-14T03:23:52+00:00

Don’t pursue it. If she takes the initiative and makes it clear she’s going to cheat on him with you, tell the boyfriend and then don’t sleep with her.

Sure she might cheat with someone else, but if it’s you, you’re enabling that type of behavior. You can’t control everything women do, but you can control what type of behavior you associate yourself with. If redpill was truly pro-masculinity, they’d understand that acting honorably is one of the most important parts of being a man.

Cjaylyle · 2022-06-14T08:43:03+00:00

A weird mix of ego boost and guilt, leading to some regret and some sense of achievement, but kinda numb and weird.

2022-06-14T15:39:04+00:00

So, for me it matters. When I was young I wouldn’t do it, because the people I’d do it with had a better choice.

However, since my divorce I’ve been the other (quite) a few times. The reality is marriage with kids can and often does make cheating the best option for the kids.

You can scoff at that with you’re black and white thinking all you want, but the fact remains that a stable, kind, friendly 2 parent home is usually better than even a stable coparenting relationship. I personally wish I could’ve managed cheating on my ex to maintain that relationship. We work well together as coparents, remain friends, and money is fine, but our kids, never the less, we’re hurt by our split. Their life is harder and less stable because of it. Going back and forth, having 2 bedrooms, 2 homes, 2 slightly different sets of rules….not to mention the initial pain of the split. Will they be okay? Of course, they are good kids and my ex and I both love the shit out of them. But the problem is, we weren’t in love with each other, I needed that, she was fine being best friends.

I hear my story play out from every woman who I’ve been the side guy for. The same “I’ve brought this up for years”, the same “he changes for a month and then right back to ignoring me”, the same “he can’t even get hard for me”….the same thing I went through, and they are making the choice to stay for the kids and cheat when they know they won’t get caught.

Flat out, if you’re married, and your partner tells you they need “x, y, z” to feel loved, and you don’t do it, over enough years, they will either divorce you, or cheat if they can….one of the two. That once every 6 month serious talk and then it goes back to being kind to each other is real, they just aren’t angry at you, so it won’t be a daily fight….just occasional when they get so frustrated with it, that it bursts out. And if they stop doing this, that discussion doesn’t happen, it’s probably because they are getting x, y, z from someone like me.

Im_The_Daiquiri_Man · 2022-06-14T08:43:22+00:00

I would ask that people take note of how every single girl ITT is playing the “I didn’t know” card where men are just owning up to the reality by saying: “yeah. I did it.”

Sure, Jan. You’re the innocent angel as always.

Now ask yourself, IRL, have you seen women willingly fuck guys they knew had gf’s? I sure as shit have. Just as much as I’ve seen men do it.

Yet on PPD, it’s all “I would never!”

Think about that the next time you ask PPD women to admit anything that could remotely have a negative connotation on their virtue.

roguish_rogue · 2022-06-14T10:51:01+00:00

I was the messed up loser she was cheating with, does that count? I feel okay about it, was a huge confidence boost at a time when I needed it, she was in love with me for some reason.

Maxarc · 2022-06-14T14:57:57+00:00

I have been grinding on the edge three times. I don't think you need to be that archetypical "chad", or whatever, for this to happen either. I don't think I am. But I believe you're more likely to roll into it if you provide something that people are typically missing in a relationship. As a guy this probably means being emotionally intelligent. Guys that grew up with many women around know what I'm talking about.

When you got people that talk to you because you are good at listening and making them feel things, eventually there comes a point in which someone starts talking to you to fill a relationship void. Some of them will catch feelings down the line. You can only notice emotional cheating when it already happend, so pressing the brakes is always a bit too late. But I always press them.

Like O.P stated: the relationship is doomed anyway if they make moves on you, so why not go for it? My answer is simple: life is hard enough as is and I don't want to be the cause for any more damage in exchange for an ego boost. Homewrecking has done serious damage to my family when I was a kid. There's just no fucking way I'll consciously get involved with it and I learned from going too far in that edge grinding back when I was a dumb fuck. I seriously think it's bad if you feel like that's a fun activity to dip your toes in for the fuck of it. Don't post-hoc justify harmful actions -- it's going to bite you in the ass when you're older, as you'll slowly collect friends and relationships that will do the same to you. Lack of trust breeds more lack of trust. Just try and be a good person, okay? Mess around with girls that are available and be upfront about your intentions. Don't be that loser that burns shit down because others do it too. You're better and smarter than that.

PaleoPimp · 2022-06-14T18:27:25+00:00

I deff had my bad boy phase. I have zero feelings or issues sleeping with a chick that has a boyfriend.

I'm a former good boy turned so eventually really learning the dating game made me realize that for the most part is everything is fair play.

If anything it's pretty exciting when you meet a chick and then you hook up the same night. Then you find out she has a boyfriend that she most likely made him jump hoops for sex.

2022-06-14T12:08:03+00:00

Nah, people in relationship don’t interest me.

BrummieAMN19 · 2022-06-14T13:02:48+00:00

Yes I have quite a fair bit at times, both on online dating masquerading as an "open relationship" and in nightclubs. A lot of girls cheat during fresher's week when first starting uni. I just see it as a "it is what it is" situation and its not my relationship so therefore not my problem. So I have zero regrets and remorse for the bfs in question. In most of the situations, they told me and were resistant but I was persistent and ran game on them. I would say if you're going after taken women please learn how to fight and defend yourself cause you will get the angry bf or two coming after you.

ImStillHavingFun · 2022-06-14T13:58:45+00:00

I have. Sometimes I knew before. Sometimes I found out later. Never had much guilt about it. Don’t have guilt about it now. The way I look at it now is that it’s simply not worth the drama. I’ve had jealous husbands /bfs come at me. I don’t like to use violence, but it’s a skill I’ve worked at since childhood. Sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose. But why am I fighting this guy over faults in his relationship? Not my problem.

Gravel_Roads · 2022-06-14T14:29:51+00:00

I almost was. I picked him up for our date, and the first he did was lay his hands on my dashboard and announce "I have a confession to make..." Went on say he had a girlfriend, and still seemed to hope I would continue with the date - I told him I'd be his friend (I'd just moved to the city and was trying to branch out socially), but I didn't date people who cheated.

At the restaurant, he got a call FROM his girlfriend and I told him he may as well take it and tell her where he was. He took the phone call outside, and while he was away, his food arrived. I ate his entire dinner and left the restaurant before he came back.

It's funnier because I'm a dude, so he was also gay-cheating on her lol. They broke up not long after and I ended up dating one of his friends.

wejaow · 2022-06-14T14:45:52+00:00

Yes. First of all I’m not chad lol… these girls boyfriends just be super bums.

mcove97 · 2022-06-14T16:56:07+00:00

Guess I was the Stacy a few weeks ago. Went out to the club with a friend. On the night buss on the way back home from the club we met a guy we knew from uni. He invited me to an after party, but turned out to be only me and a friend of his. We drank some beers and he offered some weed. High and drunk I ended up having sex with the guy after his friend left. I sent a text message to my friend I was hooking up with this guy while she was hooking up with her fuckbuddy. Turns out, her fuckbuddy is a friend or his, so he told her the guy I hooked up with had a girlfriend. My friend told me the day after... So yeah. I didn't intend to be "that" person. I just didn't know he had a girlfriend. Did hear some rumor that he wasn't that serious with his girlfriend but yeah Idk what to make of it. I'm not the one who fucked up and cheated, so I don't feel bad. Kinda douche move if he cheated on his GF with me though. Had I known I wouldn't have slept with him.

Bonus point: I choked and puked my guts out all over his dick when he asked me to do oral. Karma lmfao.

chuggMachine · 2022-06-14T17:03:53+00:00

Multiple times. I did it for the fun because it's so taboo. Funnily enough, 99% of those times the girl was in a relationship with someone abusive. Not saying what I did was justified but I've felt like zero guilt whatsoever.

I've also come to know that there are some women that are 100% monogamous and would not look at you twice if she's in love, and I've been lucky to have ALWAYS found these women when I'm looking to date, as is my current situation.

Lastly, monogamy is a forced concept in society. Most people are poly at some level, and you're brainwashed into believing that monogamy is the only way and you're going to hell if you stray, and I actually support it because it IS the best system. Families are wayy more stable when people are monogamous. Marriage was not supposed to be about celebrating love, it's about creating a healthy environment for the offspring.

However, that does not change the reality. The way out of this is probably just communication, and just coming in terms with what you really feel inside, not just what society dictates you.

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2022-06-15T19:09:29+00:00

I have slept with two girls (out of 24) that had BFs.

I didn't know at the time for either. One of them actually attacked me but he was kind of a skinny white boy type so it was kinda sad rather than scary. I let him slap me around a little bit before knocking him down though because I felt like I deserved it for fucking his girl. Felt like absolute shit (emotionally) for weeks. I'd never have the balls to intentionally do that, I'd feel too guilty

Novadina · 2022-06-14T04:37:09+00:00

I have been, but not willingly, I was only told after the fact. It was only with casual sex partners, and I didn’t sleep with them again. One guy told me his girlfriend was staying abstinent until marriage, and that sex with me “cleared up” some things for him. No idea if that meant he decided to break up with her or if it meant he realized that having sex wasn’t important after all or something, lol. I just felt sorry for him and his girlfriend after that, I don’t really understand why anyone would want to marry someone without having having sex first, and this guy was pretty bad in bed and a cheater. I don’t feel anything about it now, it’s been like 20 years.

melody_of_ · 2022-06-14T06:54:57+00:00

Yes unknowingly, it hurt at the time , now I dont care and would do it again if I was single. If a woman is willing to cheat with you they are willing to cheat and will do it regardless.

I dont see the intention to and the act as being functionally different as far as the unlucky guy us concerned, either way he is with an unfaithful wife.

TermAggravating8043 · 2022-06-14T07:10:01+00:00

I’d love to be a fly on the wall when you ‘present’ yourself to this “Stacy” you believe will always cheat because it’s in her nature.

SouthernGrass3 · 2022-06-14T15:48:44+00:00

Women don’t cheat with Chads. Women tend to cheat with men that are ”emotionally supportive”. They won’t cheat out of lust, it’s not even about sex.

Men cheat out of lust but tend to have relatively higher standards for commitment i.e. the best he can get looks wise, so studies show that men cheat on average with less attractive women that simply are willing.

It’s more likely that Chad and Stacy will cheat with Melvin and Becky or whatever it’s called.

Selkie-Princess · 2022-06-14T17:41:50+00:00

Never been the other woman but I get flirted with constantly by married men and when they cross a definitive line I always contact the wife and tell her what’s up because that’s what I’d want. About half the time the wife is grateful or at least polite. The other half of the wives have been FURIOUS WITH ME IMMEDIATELY. I mean like RAGING that I had obviously tried to steal their man and it was MY fault for tempting him…I mean some of these women have gone BONKERS off the rails and kind of scared me and thats in a scenario where I did not ever let their disgusting cheater husbands lay a hand on me….so I can’t imagine how murdered I would get if I was a habitual other woman

PlayfulLawyer · 2022-06-14T06:02:31+00:00

The only time I've ever knowingly been the other man, I was in my mid-twenties and it was a co-worker, now I didn't know she was married when we started, however I didn't quuuite put a stop to it when I did find out lol, but after we did stop fooling around , I eventually met her husband a couple times oh, nice guy but definitely the personification of what we call beta bucks, so I'm guessing I was the AF lol

2022-06-14T06:04:27+00:00

Yep. Been that guy. Married women, engaged women, women who literally asked her boyfriend to drop them at my location with the guy having no clue of what was going on.

My feelings are that healthy, happy relationships are fragile. Keep one of the partners unhappy and they are going to cheat eventually.

I don't feel bad about the guys.

DerekMorganBAU · 2022-06-14T06:18:04+00:00

There’s NO BETTER GUY TO BE than THAT guy. I’ve experienced it and loved it every time. NSA sex, fun times, no hassle or emotional baggage, none of that. You just get the best of what she has to offer.

Good times

ViolentTakeByForce · 2022-06-14T05:10:28+00:00

Take my advice, like most things there are more risks for men. There are plenty of single women out there if you have the options you say you do, avoid it as best as possible.

wtknight · 2022-06-14T12:06:43+00:00

A woman who I knew had a boyfriend tried to cheat with me once, but I wouldn’t let her. I remember thinking that I wouldn’t want to be in her boyfriend’s place.

Men who let themselves be the guy who women cheat with have no honor, although if he has no idea that she’s cheating then that can’t really be avoided.

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calfshrug · 2022-06-14T04:49:32+00:00

I’ve been a rebound for at least one chick, possibly more. One of them - the first - I tried to go further with (FWB and deep personal convos), but got heartbroken. I don’t see anything reason to postulate that I’ve ever been the “mister” to a woman, but I reckon it’s possible, as one lady went by more than one name

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-06-14T13:22:55+00:00

I was with one girl who claimed her boyfriend and her broke up, but then claimed they were “back to talking” but not back together “yet” and so it would still be ok. And I was like “nope, this doesn’t feel right.” And later found out they were always together, she just cheated when she was mad.
As for being the “Chad?” In that situation Hahahaha! Ah, no.

KingWhoCared86 · 2022-06-14T16:07:37+00:00

Sadly I was. I felt awful because I actually had feelings for her and when I found out I was a side guy I got very upset. So bad that I have not been with another woman in almost 8 years. I developed some major trust issues.

SmilesRHere · 2022-06-15T02:03:17+00:00

Don’t really get the question you’re asking. Do I regret having affairs with married or partnered women? am I afraid of my wife doing the same etc? If so, no regrets and perfectly ok with my wife having a fling, a fuck buddy or a friend with benefits as long as she’s ok for me to have the same.

2022-06-16T21:03:10+00:00

Im not really familar w all these terms but just wanna add that it’s very rare that the girl a dude cheats w is more attractive than the gf

Title	Men and women, have you ever been the "Chad/Stacy" who she/he was cheating with? What are your feelings on it now?
Author	PaleoPimp
Upvotes	19
Comments	128
Date	June 14, 2022 2:30 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/vbt1lm/men_and_women_have_you_ever_been_the_chadstacy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-and-women-have-you-ever-been-the-chadstacy-who.1116071 https://theredarchive.com/post/1116071

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