Is sex actually an issue?

Caring_Cactus · 2022-08-27T07:47:45+00:00

As another person mentioned, we can only focus on higher thoughts if our emotional well-being is in check. Things like sex pertain to our ego and changing emotional states, if people do not feel valued or have meaningful experiences they're going to stay in that deficient state and won't have much room for other creative outlets.

Most people do not feel emotionally supported, whether that be from others or their own self in restricted self-expressions, and that can cause stress on the body to go take action to feel alive again. For some a quick easy escape is sex (or masturbation, sexuality in general), it's primal and hardwired to be the default for procreation.

Emotions are what drive our behavior, and those who don't know any better will more often be led and controlled by them to influence how they feel for confidence, than if they were supported better to lead more with feelings they choose with self-confidence to influence those emotional states they actually want for a secure self.

DisasterPeace7 · 2022-08-27T07:03:30+00:00

I mean yes, especially in a relationship if sex and intimacy is not important then you pretty much just have a roommate at that point and while it's not the most important thing in the world and I don't believe people should spend overly significant amount of time trying to pursue it, we were wired to get aroused for a reason

you-arent-reading-it · 2022-08-27T11:33:07+00:00

At some point, all of this dominance/submission alfa/beta strait/gay stuff is going to get tiresome

Pwhahahahaha you really don't comprehend men's nature.

femm-fatale · 2022-08-27T07:46:46+00:00

Mens sex obsession is so annoying lol. Girls can live without it if they really wanted to

TermAggravating8043 · 2022-08-27T08:08:24+00:00

Everyone can live without sex, you won’t die without it.
However as mammals, we are social creatures and relationships are important to us and help us feel safe and happy. We used to live in clans, villages and families were couples naturally pair off, have their own children and continue the human race. Sex is going obviously apart of that, however with the benefit of contraception, couples now have the option of using sex for fun now too

Ohyarlysmiles · 2022-08-27T14:10:41+00:00

The worldviews (alphabets blahblah) aren't the same as the very real human needs of sex and intimacy, which you seem to conflate.

purplish_possum · 2022-08-27T07:33:22+00:00

We have to deal with our base needs before we can strive for enlightenment.

TryLambda · 2022-08-27T10:58:08+00:00

without sex there is no reproduction and family bonding....yes sex is an issue if humans want to exist in the future

cunningcaring · 2022-08-27T12:41:28+00:00

Food, water, sleep sex... It's all so boring after a while, isn't it?

Holiday-Reach-8948 · 2022-08-27T13:04:23+00:00

I mean, it’s an opinion so the answer will vary. I say yes. Yes, it is important to me to have sex and intimacy.

Who says it’s going to get tiresome, though? I think exploring our bodies and sexuality and desires is something that’s limitless. It will only get tiresome if you let it (speaking from experience - specifically, 23 years and counting with one partner).

I consider making love (with someone you have a deep connection with that’s more than apparent when intimate) can absolutely be enlightening in terms of our existence. Especially when you consider, I think besides dolphins, we are the only other species who have sex for pleasure. That’s sex though… I don’t know of any other species who make love. Sure, making love is pleasurable too, but there’s a different element to it; a soulful connection if you will that is indeed enlightening.

As for our “pathetic existence”, that’s another opinion; one in which I do not share.

PMmeareasontolive · 2022-08-27T15:35:17+00:00

Asking the big questions. I think a lot depends on your upbringing. Mine was supportive but not loving, in fact it was hypercritical. Love was very conditional you might say. This had an additional effect of making me distrustful of authority figures, consequently the idea that I would feel rewarded by having a "career" like them was rebelled against. So where do you find fulfillment if you have a background like that, which isn't terribly unusual?

People will say through friendships, but friendships lack that deep connection with "who you really are" (especially if you are used to hiding parts of that from criticism)... And I can't speak to women, but as a guy, growing up your male peers are often more competitive than supportive. Or afraid of appearing too gay.

I say I was semi-feral (in terms of my emotional awareness and ability to relate to people) and didn't become fully human until I was loved by a girlfriend and had had a couple of relationships.

That's just how she goes. But maybe a lot is based on expectations. There wasn't the cultural narrative of how important your friends are when I was growing up, friendships were taken for granted and all the emphasis was placed on rrrrromance being the ultimate goal.

Maybe there is a rise in asexuality now because people are asking questions like OP more often.

By the way, here is a link about expectation. Expectation is the layer that covers evolutionary psychology, and I think too much focus is paid to the latter and not enough to the former here, and on Reddit generally. Expectation is like the placebo effect x100.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IewbT1ZdhEA&t=10s

PermissionUpstairs12 · 2022-08-27T23:59:37+00:00

Are you asking for personal opinion? For me, sex is rarely worth the risk for a woman (in the US, now that all sex carries the risk of forced birth).

I don't mean totally, but if I had to put it on a list of things I care about/think about...it'd be maybe #30.

I'd be a lot more upset if someone told me I could never ride a rollercoaster again than never have sex again.

My response to the latter would be "meh".

Intimacy is different, but women can get that from a variety of people/sources without sex. Men tend to clump the two together.

But generally, no. Lack of sex in a relationship is usually a symptom of a problem, rather than the cause. I stopped wanting sex with my ex because his behavior made him unattractive to me. No "urge" is going to override disdain.

Same with men now that I ended that relationship. I find men hitting on me to be irritating/rude and it makes them undesirable, both sexually & emotionally.

But that's just me and one opinion of many. Lots of sex or no sex is NBD either way.

Specialist-Action-33 · 2022-08-27T08:24:25+00:00

Because sex is a part of life. If you stop having sex, you're gonna feel like there is some kind of void in your life.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-08-27T15:54:01+00:00

As far as physical needs go, outside of the obvious purpose of reproduction and survival of the species as a whole, sex is not necessary on an individual level. Masturbation takes care of that, often better than partnered sex, especially for women, who do not tend of orgasm from intercourse.

It’s become quite clear to me from reading posts here and elsewhere, that for men, sex is all about ego and validation. I think validation plays a role for women as well, to a lesser degree, and also fills a need for closeness and intimacy. All of this is quite natural to an extent, but it also I believe disconnection from our communities has led to most people not getting their social needs met, and an obsession with sex as social validation might be a symptom of that.

As for all the dom/sub and fixation on bdsm and “weird sex” in general, pretty sure that’s a symptom of too early and excessive internet porn. Some people have also been into it, but it wasn’t mainstream.

anjovis150 · 2022-08-27T09:28:49+00:00

Is it important to follow one of the basic instincts we have? Probably yeah.

Peacesquad · 2022-08-27T13:50:41+00:00

I want to fuck almost every girl I see

Anti_Thing · 2022-08-27T15:46:49+00:00

For normal people with healthy desires (especially those who view actual sex as superior to masturbation), it's absolutely important. Sex & intimacy are practically needs for most people; although it's technically possible to live without them, just as it's possible to live without hearing or eyesight, the quality of life of someone who lacks these things is much less than someone who has them (unless they're part of the minority who truly doesn't desire them).

SocietalEngineering · 2022-08-27T15:36:00+00:00

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs - sex is at the bottom. It’s a basic necessity. You aren’t going to be able to self actualize until you at least get past that first barrier.

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WolfoftheMountain93 · 2022-08-27T10:10:40+00:00

I mean, is it important to have sex and intimacy?

To the supermajority of people, yes. Sex and intimacy lead to healthier mental state and happier lives.

At some point, all of this dominance/submission alfa/beta strait/gay stuff is going to get tiresome and, at that point, dont we all realize how pathetic our existence is?

Yes.

What then? Do we still strive to feel enlightened, even after we come to understand the premise of our own base nature?!

You may want to alter your definition of "enlightenment". You don't need to be an ascetic monk in order to reach spiritual fulfillment, wisdom and virtue.

topyTheorist · 2022-08-27T10:13:16+00:00

It's an important part of a relationship. You don't have to form a relationship with another person, but in my opinion, life are better with a good companion.

Big23Island · 2022-08-27T11:28:32+00:00

Sex and intimacy is important to me. I feel my existence is important and I’m learning to enjoy and love life with all its challenges

Katatonicsnake · 2022-08-27T12:03:59+00:00

Sex? Not that important, albeit nice. Intimacy? Very important. But people are different, some people might feel that they can’t survive without sex.

ruboyuri · 2022-08-27T14:34:02+00:00

Sex is not the problem

It’s validation and love that’s the problem

FIVE_6_MAFIA · 2022-08-27T14:39:17+00:00

Sex is not the only important thing in a relationship. I had some of the best sex of my life with women who were shitty partners, and I still wasn't happy in the relationship

throwaway164_3 · 2022-08-27T14:52:20+00:00

dont we all realize how pathetic our existence is? What then?

This is the question. To be or not to be, whether it’s nobler in the mind to suffer

Life has no intrinsic meaning. We’re all chance accidents of the laws of physics and have a brief window of consciousness before oblivion

Personally, I think people should do whatever gives them satisfaction as long as it doesn’t actively harm others. Part of that is sex, because having sex feels amazing!

SantarpiosPizza · 2022-08-27T15:23:05+00:00

Of course.

If it wasn't an issue, why would cheating be an issue?

sarkington · 2022-08-27T16:01:18+00:00

No.

Love, fulfillment, validation, status and power are issues

BitsAndBobs304 · 2022-08-27T16:04:08+00:00

Uh... what?

deadBeefCafe2014 · 2022-08-27T18:42:30+00:00

We are biological creatures at the core, so it will be an issue for some time to come. The progress of civilization is awfully short compared to the evolutionary timeline.

trail22 · 2022-08-27T19:12:00+00:00

Do you want men to invest and care about society? About women.

men who dont believe they will ever experience love and sex are barley getting by. Men who have kids and wives, they can invest in other people. In society. They have a reason to live, more then themself. its easier to love another then to live for yourelf.

operapeach · 2022-08-27T21:55:03+00:00

Being gay doesn’t phase out just because you and whoever else thinks it’s “tiresome” lmao this is a weird post

jackedsoon · 2022-08-27T23:02:17+00:00

if theres no sex theres no relationship. most important thing for me by far.

revente · 2022-08-27T23:30:05+00:00

Why even eat food? You'll die eventually right?

givesmeconniptionfit · 2022-08-28T00:46:12+00:00

I think what matters most to an individual is going to be whatever allows them inner peace in recognition of the dynamics at play. We all walk along a royal road to reach an inn gathering which religious experience demands, we all find and access our spirituality differently. Some live just fine being an Ace, some need and crave intimacy over anything else, others can't operate without prioritizing their base animal desires. You can only truly know once you open a line of honest discourse with yourself on what lights your fire

Title	Is sex actually an issue?
Author	mil2357io
Upvotes	29
Comments	212
Date	August 27, 2022 6:47 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/wyvw8c/is_sex_actually_an_issue/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-sex-actually-an-issue.1129134 https://theredarchive.com/post/1129134

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