What is the issue with women having social media?

wtknight · 2023-02-06T21:44:58+00:00

Removed. Only one post allowed per user every 12 hours.

GhostofCamus · 2023-02-06T17:53:05+00:00

I personally don't care as long as they don't insist on talking to me on a platform I never check.

Ok_Bear976 · 2023-02-06T18:40:00+00:00

it's unattractive if she's posting male attention bait

Hoopy223 · 2023-02-06T19:35:43+00:00

Because lots of em go way overboard and have no boundaries. My ex was always posting selfies and chatting with guys. Too much of a dopamine rush I guess.

seeyouonthelanai · 2023-02-06T18:00:40+00:00

[permanently deleted]

LotBuilder · 2023-02-06T19:42:07+00:00

For me it’s about content. A page full of selfies and thirst traps is a no. A page with family and friends and hobbies and low key travel (Not Dubai, Tulum, etc). Could make me more attracted to her. My current love interest is a sweet person and her page is all animals and family.

CringeButCorrect · 2023-02-06T17:57:57+00:00

They are aggressively filtering out women with social media addiction. Personally I don't care as long as they aren't posting to attract male attention.

jay10033 · 2023-02-06T18:28:44+00:00

It's the narcissism that is a turn off and social media has gamified and normalized it.

You already see women snapping selfies of themselves in public constantly, they seem to be functionally incapable of taking a picture of say... a statue or national monument without 3/4 of the composition including their face grinning like they just won the Publisher's Clearinghouse sweepstakes.

I've seen some of these "influencer's " content on Youtube or Instagram and it's every mind numbingly boring, mundane, navel-gazing aspect of their daily lives being recorded for posterity.

"I woke up later than normal this morning and made a cup of coffee" ... and that requires a video or a blog post.

I also understand that the nature of social media requires constant engagement so I don't blame them for that, I just largely think social media is a largely a narcissistic waste of time.

TheDustLord · 2023-02-06T17:58:58+00:00

Social Media grants women access to automatic agreement from tons of people for every possible scenario.

MachiNarci · 2023-02-06T18:25:37+00:00

I anticipate a lot of 'all women are whores' type comments.

I’d assume he was valid and self obsessed.

This is it. Lots of men prefer women who are low-maintenance, and recently this standard has come under scrutiny by feminists who claim that men don't want to put effort into relationships. The real reason why is that every man has been jaded by a relationship where the woman was seemingly never satisfied. He had to take her out on constant dates, produce endless charisma, and keep "proving himself" far into the relationship. As much as men love doing things for their partners, we don't want to be leeched off emotionally like this.

If a girl constantly posts validation-farming content on social media, it implies that she's the high-maintenance kind of person who siphons all the energy from your soul like a vampire. A small social media presence is a massive green flag, as it means a woman is not the hedonistic kind to whom a man must constantly prove themselves through endless validation.

themostgianthorse · 2023-02-06T18:32:07+00:00

The content is what matters to me.

The medium is the message.

Posting for attention/validation is the medium.

The message is that my attention/validation is not enough.

Nothing wrong with this. I just wouldn’t be caring about her.

Ordinary_Tax9322 · 2023-02-06T18:22:48+00:00

I personally distinguish two ways.

Family/Friends social media- You can tell an social media that targets close friends and family, i think this is fine.
Marketing herself- This one is a red flag, you have females in relationship yet they post lots of photos that market themselves sexually. You also tend to not find any pictures with their boyfriend. They tend to not have a big account less then 10k.

tired_hillbilly · 2023-02-06T17:54:50+00:00

5k is normal?? That sounds like a ton.

Cunnilingusobsessed · 2023-02-06T18:54:50+00:00

It’s the post content for me. Huge difference between a women posting foodie, vacation, and ‘girls night’ pics to her 5000 randos and a married woman posting straight up thirst traps with dudes filling up the comments with ‘🔥🔥’ emojis

96tillinfinity_ · 2023-02-06T19:06:31+00:00

Depends what her instagram looks like. I personally would avoid someone who has thousands of followers and their insta is flooded with bikini pics and alot of provocative photos that clearly aim to draw male attention

Teflon08191 · 2023-02-06T21:15:12+00:00

Think about what you're doing on social media. You're curating the most picturesque moments of your life and advertising it to everyone.

It's an exercise in vanity, and that's unattractive.

That's not even getting into all of the other pathological issues it promotes, particularly in women.

DoinIt989 · 2023-02-06T18:05:33+00:00

Instagram is more of dating/hookup app than Tinder is at this point. Also, a lot of "PPD" type men don't do pictures and assume a woman with IG is vapid.

JimPepperSteak · 2023-02-06T18:22:50+00:00

It's a strong indicator of extreme narcissism

despisedlove2 · 2023-02-06T18:35:26+00:00

Social media weaponizes the two most anti-relationship parts of the female personality:

unearned validation from strangers she never needs to treat nicely. The "Like" button is catnip to women.
networking with the usual clique of misandrist females that infest social media.

So, the moment you see a woman who spends more than a couple of minutes a day on social media, you should exit as fast as you can. It is a major red flag.

By itself, heavy social media use also tells you that the woman is largely uninterested in building a home. If she is working, and social media use isn't a job requirement, you can be certain that she isn't professional.

I grew up before the use of even the internet was widespread. Even with all the usual conveniences, my mother and my friends' mothers never had the time to indulge in more than about 20-30 minutes' phone conversation with each other per day. This was true regardless of whether the lady worked outside the home, or was a stay at home mom. They focused on what was important to the family - a functioning and welcoming home, and a mother who had the time for her kids.

Social media creates silly self-absorbed women who are of zero use in a relationship if you are thinking long term.

Soloandthewookiee · 2023-02-06T18:54:26+00:00

I'm coming to find out that many of the people who complain they can't get women to date them also like to create arbitrary rules to exclude any possible woman.

modidlee · 2023-02-06T18:46:25+00:00

Just having social media isn't a problem. It's how they use it that can be a problem.

Coolio_Street_Racer · 2023-02-06T19:10:03+00:00

If your instagram is full of thirst traps and not even a single post about your bf. I'm going to assume your single.

_ModusPwnens_ · 2023-02-06T19:33:13+00:00

Im old and out of the loop. Is 5k followers normal? That seems insane but I've never used Instagram

rolanddes1 · 2023-02-06T19:41:34+00:00

5K? If she has more than 400 I would assume she is liking the attention of people who are not her friends. That is a red flag to me.

Trouvette · 2023-02-06T19:56:22+00:00

Frequency of use and content are factors. I don’t think anyone would object if someone were posting nature photography every day or posted the occasional selfie. But I do know plenty of guys who have ended up as de facto photographers for their girlfriends’ Instagrams, and I know it leaves a sour taste behind.

BrightProduct5135 · 2023-02-06T20:05:16+00:00

Simps building/overinflatinf their egos to the point of insanity. Making 5/10s think they are9/10s and then these girls demand a 9/10 man.

M_Ptwopointoh · 2023-02-06T20:48:11+00:00

Instagram = "I need LOTS of attention from boys" = unfaithful

That's, like, 90% of it, right? Add to that the fact that most men are desperately trying to avoid having to go back to high school ever again, while social media's principal goal is turn all of society into high school, and it's not that hard to fathom the distaste.

Peacesquad · 2023-02-06T21:40:41+00:00

It’s ok to have social media but like come one posting thirst traps when you have a man is a recipe for disrespect and disaster. I don’t know why women choose to complicate the game when most of the chips are stacked in their favor

Glass_Bucket · 2023-02-06T18:11:04+00:00

Seems like modern men should just date Amish women, no body count and no social media

DryOutcome3407 · 2023-02-06T18:32:40+00:00

Every women with social media convert on the same archetype, it's a pretty sure way you're dating the same person but with slightly different flavors.

Bigger social presence = exposition = more possible suitors, it increase the chances of monkey branching.

There's only risks for the men involved.

Noble_trader · 2023-02-06T18:41:25+00:00

OP is pretending hypergamy isn’t real.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2023-02-06T20:04:04+00:00

Insecure dudes can’t stand the idea of a girl having a million male followers like the instagram models they follow do so they try and make it sound bad that a woman has a bunch of dudes just like them liking her photos.

obviousredflag · 2023-02-06T18:43:05+00:00

I’ve seen quite a few guys say that if a woman has Instagram, point blank, it’s a no go

Where? Here? Men here are not meeting any women they could reject based on anything. This is a game of who would reject more women THEORETICALLY, as a signal for his own moral and mate value.

"If a 10/10 virgin would approach me and ask for sex and marriage, i would reject her if she is an hour older than 30, because i will not touch rotten food".

AreOut · 2023-02-06T18:41:31+00:00

if she has hidden profile with the same number of followers and those she follows then it's OK

if she has more followers than those she follows she is an attention whore that looks for validation

if she follows more people than she has followers then she is a creeep that's too interested in other people's lives and likely a type to send her friends to follow you everywhere and scratch your car when you say that you can't stand the harassment anymore

noafrochamplusamurai · 2023-02-06T19:57:59+00:00

The secret: most women need outside validation from other men than their SO. This is mostly due to the way women are socialized. In our current system the demand for women to be attractive is high, beauty is societal currency. With this paradigm in play, the lack of outside validation is a sign of deficit in social currency.

I anticipate there's going to be a lot push back on this comment. Before you type your response, think about a couple things. How would you feel if no one ever complimented on your beauty?( your SO doesn't count, because that's their duty, and it's expected so it loses some of its appeal) and why do coupled women flirt more than single women? I'm also gonna drop this nugget, which is common knowledge men with any kinda game. It's easier to pull a coupled woman, than it is a single woman.

The thing to remember as a man, is that women don't belong to you. They have agency, and freedom of choice. Your SO has the right to pick someone else. You can't stress over that, having restrictive expectations only hastens the end of a relationship. If someone wants to cheat, there's nothing you can do to stop them. This holds true across all demographics. Happily married people cheat( men and women) unattractive people, rich, poor, liberal, conservative ( anecdotally I've bagged more married conservative women than any other demographic) religious, agnostic, rural, and urban. If they're gonna do it, there's nothing that will stop them. It's just who they are.

P.s. to be clear, this goes for men and women. You're more likely to be adulterous, than be the victim.

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Ok-Professional3832 · 2023-02-06T18:32:50+00:00

I don’t care if you have it, but I’d rather not know it exists. I don’t want to see what you post. I admittedly read too far into the text posts that an ex used to post and like.

“Some relationships lead to marriage, some lead to new favorite restaurants” Her: ❤️ Me: 🤔

I don’t have time for that shit, so I don’t understand the concept of even liking someone else’s posts or following pages that post those.

I decided it was easier to focus on our actual interactions than trying to live inside her head.

She explained it the same each time I asked. Idk I just like stuff.

Blocked each other on social media, problem solved.

CradleCity · 2023-02-06T19:21:37+00:00

I don't like the concept of flags for these matters, but, if I may use them once for an easy comparison:

Red flag: Excessive use of social media, seemingly no other interests than consulting everyone's socials, propensity to do the 'laundry' in public (talking or implying negative shit that happens behind doors, malicious gossip, etc.), constantly being on the phone, to name a few.

Yellow flag: Use of social media to conflate the personal and the professional parts of life, or posting only about a couple of subject matters (think beach-oriented travelling, gym routines, or food posting constantly).

Green flag: Use it only for work-related purposes, networking.

Greenest flag: No social media, no need for external validation from acquaintances or strangers.

auteurfantastique · 2023-02-06T19:46:21+00:00

The only social media thing which would make me go 🤨 is if she had a venmo/ko-fi/etc. link in her profile. Or if she had a Tinder/Bumble/etc. account she used while we were dating, I would have an issue with that (edit: although I guess she could keep said account as long as she wasn't hiding anything). Otherwise it'd be cool. Heck dating someone with a large instagram following would be cool, like dating a celebrity.

draiki13 · 2023-02-06T20:24:11+00:00

It very much depends what social media is used for. If the woman has to post a story every day, that’s a huge red flag to me. It signals that the motivation behind her actions, needs or wants isn’t self fulfilling. Then you’re just competing with yourself for the next big thing to show. For example I have a friend who posts having breakfasts in the forest… why can’t you just enjoy the nature?

No-Rough-7390 · 2023-02-06T20:42:07+00:00

If at any point you ask her to hand over her phone and she’s completely cool with it, then you’re good.

Royal-Tip4585 · 2023-02-06T20:47:04+00:00

Normal number of followers is like 100-200. If she has 2k followers and it’s mostly dudes. We all know what they’re doing with those photos. And we all know the constant DMs girls get.

Insta is more of a dating app then tinder is many times. The number of relationships and cheating that’s started on there? There’s a reason why no one wants their man to see their DMs.

If she pushes for public social media I’ll assume the relationship is not exclusive.

I’m fine with turning my private and getting rid of all the women if she does the same.

salehbassmusic · 2023-02-06T21:10:04+00:00

The content someone posts on social media reflects their character and attributes. For example, a woman could be posting the artwork that she makes or photographs of landscapes, other hobbies and passions, businesses, etc... but if she is just posting pictures of herself in revealing attire then that’s a sign of extreme vanity and often narcissism. This goes for men too. Since they don’t actually have anything meaningful to share on social media besides thirst traps and clickbait then I’m going to assume that these individuals are very shallow people with no legitimate interests. Those aren’t the type of people I want in my life.

Dependapotamus209 · 2023-02-06T21:35:18+00:00

There’s no issue at all…but it doesn’t mean you should date them or encourage your daughter to do it.

Scarce12 · 2023-02-06T21:44:22+00:00

They use the platforms to have emotional affairs with other people. That's what it's for.

fupadestroyer45 · 2023-02-06T22:03:08+00:00

There's no issues, just don't male attention seek and we're good.

domdomdom333 · 2023-02-06T22:32:45+00:00

Two types of guys.

weirdos who just want their gf to not have any social media presence. 99% of the time this is for alterior motives, like her not knowing what's happening on the outside world, being exposed to other ideas and so on. Gives a dog on a chain vibes.
Guys who think twice, because too many women overshare intimate moment on social media for all sorts of strangers to see. Ultrasounds, face of baby the first 10 minuts of them being born, bought a new house, bought a new car, had an argument and so on. There's a fine line between what stays private in a relationship vs your public persona and respective milestones. I don't want my ups and downs of live livestreamed, posted on the forever internet just for like 2 likes. A different story is she's posting something where she implies she's pregnant, has a child and so on. Same mindset is shared with many other guys.

annabelleswig · 2023-02-06T19:06:40+00:00

How often/the amount of pics you post is a sign of self confidence. Girls often go back to those pics and just admire themselves, if they don't have self confidence they won't post and won't have anything to admire later. Watching good pics of yourself is satisfying for many people especially women

atomic_thr0waway · 2023-02-06T20:22:29+00:00

When I see almost nothing but selfies with filters I'm like, holy BPD. Run.

If I see almost none of her but pictures of cat(s), I'm like, holy depression and anxiety, and probably deep insecurities about appearance. No thanks.

If I see Tons of those overlays about the latest crisis, I'm like, holy SJW/virtue signaling. That's not a person that's an ideologically possessed NPC. Run.

Like, do you actually DO anything besides try to gather attention?

I'd like to go back to the days of posting pictures of food, but food you made, not the restaurant. Do you do crafts? Anything? Do you play an instrument? Shit, do you draw? Something please, something besides kids, cats, causes and vanity? Please!!! Hell, come on, post your latest fav song. Anything even mildly interesting. No, that's not you pretending to post your ass at the guy pretending you "catching creeps"... Ugh. And no, being a Scentsy Consultant doesn't make you the president and CEO of a company. Neither does being a mother. Ugh.

Then it hit me. This is why my father said women are so fucking boring.

Title	What is the issue with women having social media?
Author	Ridan_
Upvotes	18
Comments	219
Date	February 6, 2023 5:49 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/10vczeb/what_is_the_issue_with_women_having_social_media/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-is-the-issue-with-women-having-social-media.1151724 https://theredarchive.com/post/1151724

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