Looks are NOT close to the most important thing for women

puddingbike · 2023-05-04T04:59:34+00:00

Looks are NOT close to the most important thing for women

This is what the kids call a "cope." Whether it's the most important thing or not, there ain't no way getting around that looks are very Goddamn important to most women. That's just the way it is and the way it will always be.

And, it has to be that way. We're programmed to interpret potential partners in term of reproductive fitness and success. That's just the way it is.

You go out sometime with a straight-up tall and handsome motherfucker who's not autistic. Go to the mall or a gym or a grocery store or anywhere really in public. And, just pay attention. Just go and observe for an afternoon. You'll see for yourself. Truth is...it's really Goddamn ridiculous just how far looks will take you with women. Truth is...it's really just not right. But, it is what it is...

Women, are all about how a man MAKES HER FEEL, a man has to TAP INTO HER EMOTIONS, MAKE HER EMOTIONALLY INVESTED IN THEM. A man needs to have a woman thinking about him to stay interested and wanting a relationship

Here's the fucked-up part. The man's appearance has a big bearing on everything you mention above. That's how it works. It may not be fair... hell, it's not fair. But, it is what it is...

TheSongsInYourHead · 2023-05-04T04:58:45+00:00

So I'll admit to not having the world's best social skills, but I've had at least a little success with women.

In my experience, if a woman doesn't like how I look, she's not going to be engaged enough in conversation for anything else to come across.

Every woman who's ever been interested in me has shown interest from the very first sentence I've spoken to them. They took one look and the decision was made.

The times where they didn't show interest immediately it becomes really hard to get them to interact at all.

Now someone who is an excellent conversationalist may be able to squeeze a little more engagement out of a woman who isn't initially attracted. Hard for me to say. But in my experience, at least, it's looks that are going to determine if you even get a chance to have a conversation.

At highschool/college age I think you have a little more of a point. You're forced to interact with each other over and over, eventually you may start to bond over more than just looks. But as adults you don't get that much time, the decision has to be made immediately which means the decision is based on looks.

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-05-04T04:19:24+00:00

It really depends on the individual woman imo. Looks are more important on average than many people like to mention or talk about. Whenever someone says women don't care about looks whatsoever I roll my eyes.

No I don't want you if you're a 4. Sorry.

MoldovaImComing · 2023-05-04T07:47:46+00:00

I have it on good authority that short men make women “feel” less feminine and less protected.

There’s just one aspect of looks that dramatically influences the way a woman feels about a man.

I have never met a single attractive woman in a relationship with a short guy if the guy is not extremely wealthy, movie star handsome, or some sort of celebrity.

Surely, in all my travels I should have encountered this relationship many times if the bar is as low as you say.

If it’s so easy to find a desirable partner, no matter what you look like, go on Tinder and put your height as 5’0” and report back on all the women able to overlook this one aspect.

You’re living in a fantasy world.

Zestyclose_Truth9999 · 2023-05-04T09:37:58+00:00

Looks are NOT close to the most important thing for women

Sorry, but no.

I can't speak for every woman out there, but all the personality in the world won't make an objectively unattractive man dateable to me. I need to be sexually attracted to someone to be in a relationship with them.

so many women (many good looking) are with men who physically resemble James Corden or Zach Galifianakis more so than Jeremy Meeks or "gigachad".

Untrue.

Either both parties were very attractive to begin with (and the man let himself go), OR she's with him for his money, OR you're inflating how "good looking" these women are. I don't believe that attractive women choose to pair up with unattractive/low-average men en masse, or else PPD would be full of success stories.

Therefore, since all men with self respect can shower, have clean nails, good haircut, clean clothes, clean living space, etc. All men should theoretically meet these above mentioned minimum physical attractiveness.

That's the bare minimum.

Take it from a woman: we're not automatically sexually attracted to men that do the bare minimum. There are plenty of horror stories involving trashy (but attractive) men that disprove this.

daddysgotanew · 2023-05-04T11:08:31+00:00

Do you people really believe this shit? Women care about looks and have much higher standards for it than men do. 66 percent of men are currently single and jerking off. On Tinder, 80 percent of the likes go to the top 5-10 percent of men.

You think that’s because women don’t care about looks? Miss me with that shit.

Extreme-Boot-8792 · 2023-05-04T06:30:28+00:00

bro, looks is important because looks is the 1, without 1, no matter how many 0 you have, it doesnt count

just my 2 cents

operatowers · 2023-05-04T05:05:35+00:00

so many women (many good looking) are with men who physically resemble James Corden or Zach Galifianakis

I don't see that. Good looking women are almost always with good looking men. And the few times they're not - we don't know if (A) that is even a romantic relationship or (B) the man is rich or supporting her.

Of course there's also (C) the man and woman are pushing a stroller or with small kids. In which case it's likely the man was initially attractive to get her but got fat later and then they're still together because they're married w/ kids.

TheRedPillRipper · 2023-05-04T08:12:23+00:00

If I look around

You’d see; looks are the first thing that matters. Looks may not ultimately be the most important; but they matter most first. Otherwise Tinder wouldn’t need pics.

Godspeed and good luck!

MrHustleTopG · 2023-05-04T08:43:31+00:00

Man come on you know this is cap

SecondEldenLord · 2023-05-04T07:37:10+00:00

I would say that a man's charisma, personality and humor are very important, but not the most important. Looks are the most important because women don't give a fat chance to any man who is physically unattractive. Looks get you through the door, and then personality helps you keep the relationship. This whole "looks don't matter" are just a coping mechanism and a strategy to make women look like they are not shallow. They will always say "personality over looks" and then you look at their boyfriend or exes and see that it's not the case. I am not sure where you see these "beautiful women" with ugly guys, but then again, you don't know the story behind it. They could be brother and sister, cousins or just friends. Or, in the extremely rare case, bf and gf, but even those cases happen for a reason, not for love.

I like it how you make it look like all these men who are single have just shitty personalities. So 1 of 3 men between ages 18 and 30 have shitty personalities? Because these 1 of 3 men are either virgins or didn't have sex for more than a year. How about we stop blaming men just this once cause thei confidence is already rock bottom and the suicide rate for men is already sky high. Just stop the man blaming for a second and look at the other side.

Critical_Lettuce2899 · 2023-05-04T09:31:29+00:00

LOL stop coping, having a great personality will get you orbiter status and she will make you her emotional tampon . Chads on the other hand don't need personality, they only need to exist. Looks matter bro, don't get lied to.

Notanothrshitthrow · 2023-05-04T09:33:00+00:00

I think it's true that looks are not the most important thing to a lot of women, but to say it's not close to the top or even irrelevant is utter naiveté to me.

Physical attraction is a large factor in sexual attraction, which in turn is a large factor in considering a relationship. Sure, I see some average looking men with beautiful women, but in the majority of cases that beautiful woman is with a handsome man. Most couples are broadly matched in terms of looks, that clearly indicates it's a factor.

Looks aren't the be all and end all like blackpillers make it out to be, but to act like all avenues are open to you because you have a grooming regime and a nice sense of style is just ludicrous to me.

I would say however that types are more important to women than they are to men. You'll see men with very beautiful women despite being not so beautiful themselves, and when I see that it's almost always because they conform to that woman's type, such as being a metalhead, a rugby lad, a fashionable nerd etc. Even then, a type definitely falls under the looks category.

nicoleberry16 · 2023-05-04T14:01:52+00:00

Um sorry no. I don't know why people keep peddling this idea that we only just care about grooming and hygiene, and how a guy makes us feeeeeel.

Looks are pretty important to me when Im looking for a partner, probably the first thing I consider. Maybe because...it's the first thing you see.

Just because a guy is groomed, has a fresh haircut and clean nails doesn't mean I'm gonna look at him and think "oh wow he is so attractive" if he's like 5'6 and has unsightly facial features. That's not how attraction works. In fact, most of the guys I tend to be attracted to don't have a distinctly groomed appearance ( an example: I particularly like the long messy hair, bedhead aesthetic in guys ) .

And as for how they make us feel, I tend to naturally "feeeeel" a lot better around a guy who I'm attracted to physically. Like if I'm into a guy, I WILL make it fucking obvious that I'm into him, for example laughing at his jokes and being close to him.

Ohyarlysmiles · 2023-05-04T17:23:07+00:00

As the title says, looks / physical appearance are not close to the most important thing that women want, especially in a long term relationship.

Completely false.

The initial short-term phase of dating is completely dominated by looks. There's random variance around the interaction --- but it's just that, random.

Women, are all about how a man MAKES HER FEEL

And looks are the key to her feeling anything.

If I look around, at the park, shopping mall, restaurants, Sport Games, Beach, etc. so many women (many good looking) are with men who physically resemble James Corden or Zach Galifianakis more so than Jeremy Meeks or "gigachad".

You don't know the terms of their relationship or how they got together. Likely those men played the long game.

"minimum physical attractiveness" principle, where women will require a man to meet these minimum standards of physical attractiveness

If there's a "minimum attractiveness" threshold, then looks are extremely important to women.

Furthermore, so many men, who meet these minimum physical attractiveness standards, are perpetually single, which is highly indicative almost certain to be due to PERSONALITY.

That's an assumption that they meet the physical standards.

And they likely are perpetually single because the long game requires an enormous time investment. If 90% of your prospects won't pan out --- that's you "being friends" with a lot of people, all for nothing in the end. A lot of men likely decide it isn't worth the effort.

Eastern-Action1384 · 2023-05-05T07:35:22+00:00

Stop being a hypocrite, looks attract men and women. Human beings are attracted to beautiful things. But the older we get the more we become open to other traits like kindness, hard work etc.

It's just hard for some men to accept this. because the idea that some guys are there enjoying young beautiful girls only because if their genetics is unfair. While others who works hard and do their best end up with either an ex of the other men or a girl that he is not really attracted to her physically. That's life we can do nothing about it.

JulesK00044 · 2023-05-04T06:54:42+00:00

You are quite wrong here. Looks and attraction is very important to women.

StanTheMan919 · 2023-05-04T04:15:29+00:00

As a guy I kinda wish women cared more about looks because it would be way easier to get them for me

No-Chance-8405 · 2023-05-04T08:42:55+00:00

Looks matter and decide about whether you will be viewed as a potential sexual partner or friend-zoned. Personality matters as well and decides about whether you will be considered for a LTR.

good looks + great personality = husband material

good looks + acceptable personality = material for a fleeting pleasure or a boyfriend, depends

good looks + bad personality = not interested

acceptable looks + great personality = you can be a friend, you can be a boyfriend, depends on chemistry

bad looks + great personality = definitely just a friend

bad looks + bad personality = goodbye

Looks matter. The idea that they don't is a result of people trying to avoid being judged as superficial. Some work hard on ignoring others' looks and focus on their personality because they believe that's the right thing to do and that they would be a bad person if they did otherwise. They will secretly fantasise about a good looking guy though or even cheat at some point.

That's a common mistake that men make. As soon as they get their girl they believe they can stop taking care of themselves, get fat, lazy, neglect their hygiene, stop dressing nice... and still expect total devotion from the woman and her getting wet when she looks at them. Delusional.

2023-05-04T17:30:39+00:00

Never understood why men think women won't give anyone the time of day unless they're over 6ft and attractive. I've seen so many pretty girls with way below average guys and the relationship is good, no the guy isn't filthy rich or anything. They make eachother happy and it seems to work.

questioningfeminist · 2023-05-04T19:30:16+00:00

/u/mrsdrgree This has been abandoned and should be deleted.

NAGASHWASWEAK · 2023-05-04T23:19:03+00:00

no. Looks are the most important factor when it comes to attracting women. the better you are looking the better your personality is percived to be. for example, an attractive guy whos quiet is seen as "cute and shy" while an unattractive one is seen as "weird". depending on how much you know a woman looks will matter less but will still be the most important factor. if its a cold approach then looks will be 90-95 percent of the equation, if know her a bit more then 75 percent, and if you know her very well its 50 percent. so, the more you know a woman the less looks matter but looks still end up being the most important factor

jaypb182 · 2023-05-04T23:54:13+00:00

Women are all about how a man MAKES HER FEEL

Well, the thing is, when you see how a woman behaves in the presence of a top 0,1% man in terms of looks, this would be correct. In other words, how she "feels" about you depends overwhelmingly on your looks. A good-looking, tall, shy guy will be seen as mysterious whereas an ugly short one will be seen as a creep.

What's even more hilarious is that you ended up contradicting yourself. A lot of men who take care of themselves, are clean, stylish, etc. are single because they don't meet the looks and height requirement, and I speak from experience. A Chad who's dirty, unkempt, and dresses like shit will still be considered attractive.

Conscious_Ad_6572 · 2023-05-04T04:14:29+00:00

This is why emotionally abusive people girls

AutoModerator · 2023-05-04T04:10:15+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

icebluefrost · 2023-05-04T10:39:31+00:00

a guy who she wants to “change”

Make or female, if you feel the need to change them, they’re not the right match for you.

ChadChasingB · 2023-05-04T11:13:04+00:00

Not being the most important doesn't make physical attraction any less of a requirement. Most women have multiple requirements for their partner, but physical attraction is definitely one of them if they're not asexual.

DoinIt989 · 2023-05-04T14:44:39+00:00

The better looking a guy is, the better he will make a woman feel, regardless of behavior. The main issue here is that men don't have as much of an idea of what "an attractive man" looks like because they don't consume media for women. Men assume that any man who's not model-tier looks, 12% bf, six pack abs, must be "ugly", when in reality plenty of women get excited for a mid-dude just like men get excited for mid-women

Hoopy223 · 2023-05-04T15:28:14+00:00

Looks are the number one thing that matter to women when you are younger (everybody really).

Most people are at a position where they are good enough to play the game imho. However if you are on the lower end of things (like me) its one hell of a pit to climb out of. You’ll need braces/jaw surgery/testosterone therapy/skin treatments for that really bad acne a lot of different things.

Getting older the priorities change. After college its money, ambition etc. I suppose when you are very old (70?) it becomes more about having company around than anything else.

EdwardTheeMasterful · 2023-05-04T18:44:44+00:00

Ugh detest gaslit posts such as these that perpetuate how well behaved a man is. Looks are first thing to make her FEEL positive and comfortable.

Updawg145 · 2023-05-04T18:58:09+00:00

Agreed to a degree, but, you're underestimating the impact of the Halo Effect. The problem with a lot of these lines of thinking is that people often forget to analyze things beyond a few surface level points.

Example, let's take your opening premise: that women care more about a man making her feel good and happy and emotionally invested in, etc. Well, it's certainly true that women can get this from an unattractive man. However, an attractive man will be more likely to make the woman feel this way.

Let's put it this way: if we were able to conduct a study where 500 attractive men and 500 unattractive men all approached women and said and did the EXACT same things, I am willing to bet pretty much everything I have that the attractive men would succeed more overall.

I've experienced this myself. Not that I'm some extremely attractive man but, I workout and keep myself in good shape, dress nice, etc. I've 100% been in situations where a woman was comfortable with me, laughed at my jokes etc, because she was attracted to me. If I said something that was kinda funny, she'd think it was really funny. It's natural human psychology and it happens the other way around also.

calfshrug · 2023-05-04T19:28:59+00:00

Women desire the top 10% to 1% of men though, just like we desire chicks who are at least decent looking in the face with a good body.

But yeah, connection in reality, in our actual relationships, is determined by chance, propinquity, and foremost - the bond that forms on our initial impression upon meeting, positive experiences, and how other people respond to that person both before and during knowing them

RedditAlt999 · 2023-05-05T20:31:15+00:00

However, this is all included in the "minimum physical attractiveness" principle,

Just the fact that you stated there is a minimum proves the fact that it is the most important thing.

SillyMushroomTip · 2023-05-08T20:31:44+00:00

Looks are king because its what opens the door

Secondly your mixing up personality with how a man plays the dating game. Women dont want nice guys, they want a bad boy that makes her "fEeL!"

Thats why the trope "he treats me like shit but I love him" = "Its a rush of emotions that make me feel"

Title	Looks are NOT close to the most important thing for women
Author	prairieboy1996
Upvotes	0
Comments	148
Date	May 4, 2023 4:10 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1379ipf/looks_are_not_close_to_the_most_important_thing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/looks-are-not-close-to-the-most-important-thing.1217720 https://theredarchive.com/post/1217720

Comments