Have you hooked up with someone for non-sexual reasons?

Cethlinnstooth · 2023-08-27T23:00:13+00:00

My best friend when I was fifteen in 1985 asked a guy in our class to finger her in the back seats of the lecture theatre while we were watching the Polanski version of Macbeth. They didn't even particularly like each other neither did either of them seem to be particularly excited before or satisfied after. They both hated school though. I didn't ask them why they did it but I suspect it was a spontaneous mutual expression of contempt for themselves, for school, for the English teacher, for Shakespeare, for their overly controlling parents and for that stupid pretentious film.

It was very punk rock of them.

Merrill1066 · 2023-08-27T23:08:21+00:00

I did for State secrets

Shark--Week · 2023-08-27T22:26:18+00:00

Yes. My freshman year college friend group had a very...progressive culture around hooking up, which I no longer agree with. I've hooked up with guys just "for the experience"/for the thrill of it/because it was encouraged and I did it to "fit in". I expected the actual sex to be bad. One time it was a good experience. Another time it was worse than expected. That was enough for me to learn it's not worth the risk. After a friend got assaulted during a hookup I never did it again. That same girl continued to hook up and got assaulted another time and finally raped (by a man we all knew/not a stranger). She stopped hooking up with guys after that.

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-08-27T22:13:25+00:00

I don't think any woman on here will ever admit to this stuff.

TimeConstraints · 2023-08-28T00:45:23+00:00

Not a woman, but I've been the recipient of a sympathy fuck. Always appreciated.

MistyMaisel · 2023-08-28T01:40:48+00:00

I've kissed a dude out of curiosity.

I've made out with maybe...two dudes out of self misery and a desire to feel anything except for my own existence. Which had the exact opposite effect, it just made me feel more existency and lonely and miserable.

Can't say I've ever gone as far as sex. If making out doesn't work, why would sex, I'm a scientist basically.

I will say with the exception of the kissing a dude from curiosity, I was attracted to the dudes I made out with. It just wasn't really the primary reason if that makes sense.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2023-08-27T22:45:30+00:00

ive hooked up with guys because i didnt feel like driving home and because they were there

Safinated · 2023-08-28T00:48:58+00:00

Well, boredom does make horniness worse

Wolvengirla88 · 2023-08-28T00:57:10+00:00

Uh yeah completely. Boredom, thrill seeking, loneliness.

Barneysparky · 2023-08-28T01:04:31+00:00

Yep. (remember I'm 56 and my early years are very different, I was an exploited child).

To get a real friend. To be popular. Because I wanted people to like me. Because I wanted to fit in with my brothers friends and gain his approval. Because I was mad. Because I wanted revenge. Because I was lonely. Because I was out of it.

Ok-Map-7596 · 2023-08-27T22:43:13+00:00

Women gain very little to basically nothing from casual hook ups. The fact that alchol is almost always involved with these one night stands just proves that point. You tend do dumb shit when you're intoxicated. Especially if you're some young adult

wtknight · 2023-08-27T23:03:49+00:00

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wtknight · 2023-08-27T23:23:12+00:00

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DarmakJalad · 2023-08-27T23:33:13+00:00

Mostly just somewhat coercive situations (male friend repeatedly trying to hook up her at his house during a movie) or drunk at a party (pre-Uber days) and guy who was going to drive her decides he wants something in exchange.

I do however know very high libedo girls who would pick partners more or less based on proximity sometimes lol

thelajestic · 2023-08-27T23:43:07+00:00

Once I was chatting to a friend at a party. We were both a bit drunk and chatting in a room alone. He was feeling a bit down because he fancied one of our other friends but she didn't like him back, and I was avoiding someone I worked with as we always flirted when drunk and I didn't want to make an unwise decision and cause potential work awkwardness. So we basically figured yeah let's have sex, both to kill some time and help prevent us hitting on people we shouldn't 😅

Laurely4u · 2023-08-28T04:09:58+00:00

$200

JNRoberts42 · 2023-08-28T08:59:21+00:00

Nope, if there is no mutual attraction, there is no desire. There are plenty of attractive options if I were ever to seek casual sex, so I wouldn’t settle for some pesky orbiter just because he’s handy.

I’m really curious as to how the women in this thread who had sex with a man out of boredom ever got rid of him? Weren’t you concerned about hurting his feelings? Didn’t he expect future hookups?

Now ask if any women got into long term relationships with men they were not attracted to and if the sex ever improved, because that’s the question disaffected men truly want to know the answer to.

DreaminInChocolate · 2023-08-27T22:15:26+00:00

I've only ever had one hook up. He was extremely hot. I was still a virgin at the time. I wanted to have sex with him. There's no other reason.

armpitpics · 2023-08-27T22:42:37+00:00

Yes. I once hooked up with someone because I was curious about what it would be like having sex with him. It was meh. I wanted it to be over as soon as I started.

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-08-28T12:13:14+00:00

I’ve never hooked up with someone I was truly not attracted to in order to get something. I’m not a hookups person to begin with. However, I have had sex before I was really ready in order to feel touch/intimacy and out of obligation in a dead relationship. These were people I either would probably have eventually wanted to sleep with or did at one time, it just wasn’t what I wanted at the moment and doing so was a mistake imo.

kalashhhhhhhh · 2023-08-27T22:49:01+00:00

Kinda.

I had one hook up and it happened because I was in a bad place mentally- my ego was shattered not too long before this happened and I was a literal wreck during this time period.

I needed and wanted to fuck somebody who wasn't my despicable ex (who was also my first and only partner at that point), badly.

This was the reason why I accepted the makeout session with Person X, whom I've known for a very, very long time, and didn't really think sexually about before this event took place (I used to have a brief crush on him when I was 14 but that was long behind us at this point).

However, I did get genuinely horny while we were making out, so the final progression to the bedroom didn't happen because of some ulterior motive.

Literal minutes after sex my "raw attraction" to him disappeared again.

MotherPermit9585 · 2023-08-27T23:16:26+00:00

No, never. I do have “casual sex” in the sense that I’m not looking for a long-term relationship as I’m already married and ENM. I always look for someone that I’m sexually attracted to and that I connect with on a personal level though. I also pick people that have similar values as me and usually get to know them first. I’m neither bored nor lonely so I need to anticipate that the sex is going to to be an awesome experience for it to be a worth while pursuit. Otherwise it would just be a headache

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-08-27T23:41:45+00:00

I was single and had been celibate 4 years. One day around 40, a 30-year old asked me out. I wasn’t that attracted but it was flattering to my middle aged ego and it had been so long since I went on dates, let alone had sex. So I gave it a whirl.

Didn’t work out. I felt more like his mother than his girlfriend. I had a career and a nearly adult child; he was still in college and lived with his mother. He didn’t get my culture references. He did not appreciate my music. He had never heard of the Beastie Boys. It came to a head when he asked if I was afraid of going to Hell as an atheist. Goodbye, boy toy.

He kept calling and texting. I blocked him on social media. He still hasn’t given up. He just makes a new profile and keeps trying. I can share screen shots if you don’t believe me, last contact was in July.

Anyway the point is I was old and flattered by the attentions of a younger man, as well as starved for physical affection.

Prestigious-Delay759 · 2023-08-28T02:59:11+00:00

I've done things with people who I had functionally no lust towards but was romantically enthralled with. The mind is ultimately the most powerful sexual organ any of us have.

So I've had to say this in this forum a million times but here we are again. Lust does not equal love, they often overlap but they can also be separate things and the things that go into love like trust respect and so on and so forth are much rarer than lust.

I have never met a person IRL who did not understand this and I feel like the overwhelming majority of at least people living in the US or Western Europe understand this just as a part of the cultural zeitgeist. Then I get on here and it seems like everyone regardless of what side of an issue they're on thinks of this as a completely alien and irrational concept that they've never heard of and is totally as out of the blue as people talking about lizard men in the hollow Earth.

begayallday · 2023-08-27T23:24:04+00:00

I’ve done it out of jealousy, basically. When I was very young. If I knew someone liked my best friend, I would try to hook up with him first. Not proud of it. It was entirely out of spite. I also got one of her boyfriends to sleep with me. So… yeah. I was a terrible friend back then. It’s been over 20 years and we are still friends. Her husband is really unattractive.

I’ve also done it for a free meal and/or weed when I was out of work. I suppose I didn’t really have to, but it seemed more fair to me I guess. No, I didn’t really enjoy it.

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Blue1ao · 2023-08-28T00:50:09+00:00

1 to impress my dad hooked up with someone showing I could "wasted effort and too much drama it was my 1st 1night stand"

2 I'm from a big family raised a lot of my siblings as one of the oldest and I didn't have a pet so had no one to sleep next to. I had moved across country it was a year in while I wasn't ready for a relationship I just wanted someone next to me since I had just came back from visiting my family and sharing a sleeping space with 4 siblings and was feeling really dark back home in my 1bed apartment. So picked up the drunk from the bar who is always extra touchy with me but about two decades my age and used protection -_- wasn't great but slept like a rock with someone's body heat next to me and didn't feel like doing that again to have someone to sleep next to.

ImAGhostOooooooo · 2023-08-28T00:56:18+00:00

100% 🤣

to show off what you could get to your friends

There was a gorgeous marine I knew who everyone said was out of my league. I made a bet that within two weeks I could get him to take me on a date. It worked! 🤣 We slept together after the third date. He was very 'meh' in bed tho....Me and him became really good friends and talk periodically to catch up.

get revenge

I slept with my best friend the night I broke up with a controlling boyfriend just because I knew it would piss him off 🤭. We are still best friends to this day! I'm even friends with his wife and she's very aware of what happened and thinks it's hilarious lol. There is no attraction between us.

put some other girl in her place by fucking her boyfriend

A past FWB in high school started dating a girl I HATED. She started rubbing in my face that he chose her over me, and I was like "it was never a secret we were fuck buddies, but guess who he's gonna go to once he's bored with you? ME". While they were together I slept with him and he decided to break things off with her 🤣. We texted her what we were doing while we were in bed together and she lost her shit 🤣.

because you got bored

Me and a couple of my friends hooked up cus we were bored. But the one that's my favorite was when I was in the Navy and we were having a pool party at the barracks. After a few drinks my friend decided to show me his dance moves at The local country bar and how he gets girls to go home with him. They end up working on me and we were both like "wanna go have sex? SURE!?" 🤣 So we did it twice and it caused absolute chaos in our friend group cus no one ever expected us to hook up 🤣

Uglypostwall · 2023-08-28T01:21:23+00:00

I had a crush on a guy who helped me find a job. My stupid mind thought maybe he did want to be in a relationship with me. One day, we hooked up. I felt validated, then he just stopped talking to me. LOL

Epiphanic_Eros · 2023-08-28T15:06:31+00:00

I've hooked up with a few women simply because they offered themselves to me, and I felt like it would be unkind or foolish to refuse. Always a mistake

2023-08-28T16:04:36+00:00

No I’m not trying to add to the problem

groovygirl858 · 2023-08-29T00:30:29+00:00

Revenge. Had sex with a friend just so I could tell my boyfriend about it the next day. I was 18 and just wanting to hurt him as much as possible. Which was pretty shitty of me because I wasn't seeking revenge for him cheating on me. I found out he was crying his eyes out to his best friend because, "I love groovygirl858 and don't want to lose her but we are too young to settle down and other girl likes me." He was literally crying tears about it and it pissed me off beyond belief. You crying because it's hard to stay with me? Or because you want someone else? Lemme make it easier for you. That was my mindset. The fact I was unhappy in the relationship contributed to my reaction. I was upset like, "don't do me any favors; I'll be glad to end this." I didn't WANT to settle down with him. The friend I had sex with had been wanting to date me for a year and a half, but he knew what was up that night. I didn't use him without his knowledge, but he was happy to be used in such a manner.

Additional_Speech164 · 2023-08-29T15:10:37+00:00

Pure curiosity maybe. There was this guy everyone said such and such about so yeah it was alright, not something I’m going back for of that makes sense.

Title	Have you hooked up with someone for non-sexual reasons?
Author	WilliamWyattD
Upvotes	11
Comments	151
Date	August 27, 2023 10:08 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1633pwv/have_you_hooked_up_with_someone_for_nonsexual/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/have-you-hooked-up-with-someone-for-non-sexual.1230672 https://theredarchive.com/post/1230672

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