If mens nature is used to justify looking at sexy women then there's nothing wrong with women being weary

wtknight · 2023-11-08T02:24:53+00:00

Flaired CMV as this post is making an affirmative claim

SpeedyFalcon874 · 2023-11-07T23:29:53+00:00

I think people are visual, men and women included. Now just because a knee-jerk, lizard brained reaction is to focus on something visually appealing, that doesn't mean you can't control your thoughts, emotions and actions to not give into every little intrusive impulse you have. Men can help themselves, as a man myself, I feel comfortable saying this.

Just because a hot woman may be around and she may be wearing very little doesn't mean I have to go "Oooooo, look at the pretty woman." No, I have the self-discipline not to give into every little thought, I have and will ignore her while moving on with my life. Women are free to see every man as a potential assaulter if they choose, I don't really care. However, they can also choose what they want to wear. Men can handle it, the ones that don't, choose not to.

FutureBannedAccount2 · 2023-11-08T00:43:10+00:00

There's a huge area between looking at someone and sexually assaulting them.

ArmariumEspada · 2023-11-08T02:30:40+00:00

People who say “men are visual,” and imply that women aren’t are either morons or liars trying to propagate an agenda. Women are just as visual as men. How people still don’t accept that is beyond me. Men need to be much more offended by this BS dichotomy of “men are shallow horny beasts who are visually stimulated but women aren’t” and push back against it as much as possible.

Dionysis_x · 2023-11-08T02:05:35+00:00

Men can control themselves.

dbz__f · 2023-11-08T00:06:53+00:00

Do you mean wary, rather than weary?

Pyroblasts · 2023-11-08T05:33:00+00:00

You’re conflating two things. Not all men are rapists. All men poop.

“How can you say not all men?”

Mr_Makak · 2023-11-08T13:55:45+00:00

Weary of... what? Looks?

Leaving-trunk1 · 2023-11-08T15:30:58+00:00

No there is something wrong with assuming everyone from any group is a criminal just because they belong to that group.

Humans are creatures that are programmed to want sex. And men get horny thoughts when they see sexy ladies. Women (I’m told) also get horny thoughts whenever they see something that stimulates them (I dunno rippling forearms?).

I don’t steal the gum when a shopkeeper has his back turned but I think about how easy it would be. But stealing makes me feel bad. I think I speak for most men that we prefer a lady to enthusiastically participate in flirting and sex. MOST guys are not criminals.

PrecisionHat · 2023-11-08T18:30:18+00:00

I don't care if women cover up or not (and I don't think most men do). If they say cover up, it's usually in response to a woman getting angry about the male gaze. So ,yes, if you can't handle being looked at (not leered at, looked at), then it's your problem and you should cover up or stop complaining.

I think most of us want women to wear whatever they like, but to be realistic about how men will react.

Toxic_LigmaMale · 2023-11-08T00:56:58+00:00

Yes. Let’s equate natural actions like “looking”, (which isn’t even an action, or a conscious one at that) to thought out and executed crimes. That’ll be a real productive conversation 🙄

BoopEverySnoot · 2023-11-08T02:03:33+00:00

I don’t like your comparison, but wanted to say men CAN control themselves. Plenty of men control themselves. Many just make the choice not to, and ruin it for everyone.

TroidMemer · 2023-11-08T16:59:47+00:00

Men and women are both visual and it’s okay for both of them to feel upset about their partners eyeing other people. Case closed.

Lina-Inverse · 2023-11-08T18:34:09+00:00

Not sure how looking at women and naturally thinking she is sexy is the same as being a potential assaulter.

But if a woman wants to go around the place in full tinfoil hat thinking every guy is a sexual assaulter in waiting because he looked at her then she is free to live her life in eternal paranoid mode. Seems like a pretty stressful life to me though.

InterestingStation70 · 2023-11-08T20:39:51+00:00

The differing views on male and female sexuality also leads to any and every female sexual assaulter/rapist is viewed as innocent by society even after having their guilt proven while men who've haven't committed sexual assault or rape are viewed as guilty even after their innocence is proven.

Gold_Supermarket1956 · 2023-11-08T23:37:22+00:00

Looking at something we find appealing does not equate to rape or sexual assault you can admire or look at shit with out having sexual urges

Serge_Suppressor · 2023-11-09T07:29:02+00:00

If a man says "men can't help themselves in sexual situations," what he's really saying is, "I don't feel I should have to take any responsibility for my own actions." Lots of us men control ourselves without any problem.

63daddy · 2023-11-07T23:35:56+00:00

If a woman takes the time and effort to look sexy and draw attention to herself, she’ll likely get more men (and women) to look at her. I see nothing wrong with this but it’s hypocritical to act in a way to elicit more attention, then complain about the attention that results.

People who dress sexier and/or show a lot of skin will draw more attention. I think you are making a false equivalency to frame that as men not being able to control themselves. The issue isn’t about men controlling themselves, the issue is that showing more skin will understandably receive more attention. If a woman doesn’t want attention, then she shouldn’t dress or behave in a way that elicits attention.

nateo200 · 2023-11-08T00:31:43+00:00

I think it’s a privilege to be able to walk around as a women half naked and expect people not to look. Whenever I went over to 3rd world countries the women with my group didn’t have an issue covering up when the men were legitimately scary.

Spyro7x3 · 2023-11-08T00:14:34+00:00

Yeah biblically women covered to curb mens lust and temptation also probably to keep sex from constantly being on their minds which likely reduces efficiency.

I mean we have science of the neurological now and we know that neuro training and pathways are a real thing. A hypersexualized society with images of sexuality and women dressing skimpy must rationally and logically have an effect on our brains.

I think women are gonna have to accept that their right to dress skimpy is probably working against them in some capacity (although plenty women have rape fantasies if the guy is their type)

sine120 · 2023-11-07T23:37:22+00:00

I don't think that looking in itself is harmful, it's anything past that point that might be an issue. If a women is uncomfortable being looking at while dressing to solicit attention, that's her issue. If a man misreads a woman's clothes as invitation for making an aggressive approach, that's his issue.

I've been to hippie fairs where people can dress as much or as little if they want to. It's expected that you will be ogled if you dress down, and some women get a kick out of that, but that's still not free reign to do anything more than look.

jay10033 · 2023-11-08T01:29:05+00:00

People say women should cover up because they live in a society and there are baseline standards that most people uphold. Inappropriate dress is inappropriate dress. If a guy walked around in assless chaps, most people will call it inappropriate.

No one seriously says women should cover up because of the risk of sexual assault/rape or they got raped because of what they wore. Those days are largely gone. 80% of rapes/SA are known to the victim. Women are the ones who complain about unwanted attention while wearing clothing that they are aware attracts unwanted attention. There is a long road between unwanted attention and rape.

"So either men can't help themselves in sexual situations or they can."

What does this mean? In sexual situations? What does this have to do with what people are wearing? Why would you be in a sexual situation with someone you view as a potential assaulter?

AceOfSpadesGymBro2 · 2023-11-08T00:31:16+00:00

I can't quite understand what you are ranting about. Can you make your argument more succinct?

SlowEffective8146 · 2023-11-08T00:42:59+00:00

What is even the point of this post? So you can say "a lot of men are predators"? There's not even anything you're putting forth to debate. Cringe as fuck

abaxeron · 2023-11-08T00:33:14+00:00

Women don't see us guys arriving at workplace in clanky knight armor with MASSIVE codpieces washed in pungent beer to assert our dominance. It's not too much to ask them not to soak themselves in allergenic synthetic ethers, not to click on tiled floor when they walk, not to be covered in dangly shinies, not to have a mime face painted on, and not to be dressed like epilepsy-inducing WW1-era battleship camouflage. It's not about me being or not being a horny dog; I'm trying to work here.

Deadwalking2k · 2023-11-08T01:58:08+00:00

Women should always be wary, but also careful not to be to paranoid/weaponize accusations. It’s a hard balance to find these days to be fair. As a man, I can tell you it sucks being wired this way. It makes you feel guilty.

WilliamWyattD · 2023-11-08T01:02:38+00:00

The argument for or against sexual modesty in dress and appearance is not really about sexual assault. The extent to which sexual assault rates are influenced by how women are dressed is far from clear. But that isn't really the point IMO.

Yes, men can look away, though perhaps the initial glance is pretty hard to control, particularly if a woman is wearing very revealing clothes. But it is hard to do sometimes, and taxing in a certain way. An overly sexualized environment is just going to have a certain impact on men, and it isn't really a positive one. It will also impact how men see women. If a woman is wearing form fitting clothing and makeup, it can be harder to see her as a non-sexual object, or focus on the words she is saying rather than the sexual display. The more attractive she is, the more difficult.

I think society in general would benefit from adopting more modesty in dress, from both genders. I'm not advocating hijab's, and there needs to be more accommodation for comfort or heat factors than past sexual modesty regimes have shown. And perhaps there could be special occasions or locations for dressing more provocatively and makeup. But I see no reason why men or women should be dressed in excessively form fitting or revealing clothes at work of in the public square. Similarly, I see only downside from makeup use there as well.

Dertross · 2023-11-08T06:43:15+00:00

I don't think anyone is bringing up an avenue of thought that dressing sexually is visually *offensive*.

By dressing a certain way, women and men know that it's possible to directly cause an unconscious automatic response. It can be interpreted as a psychic affront. It's a form of aggression. It's the sexual visual equivalent of yelling fire in a crowded theatre.

People are so obsessed with the idea of bodily autonomy and drew the line at physical interactions. In recent years the line is being moved to vocal interactions as well. It's strange to me how people are tip toeing around the visual interactions ( of course, usually only where it benefits women. If a man walks around in translucent leggings that accentuated his genitals outside a pride parade he'd probably be accosted real quick). I have to see it because you want to show it? That doesn't seem so reasonable in the era of "You're not allowed to say it because I don't want to hear it" and "you have to say it because I want to hear it".

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SoulBadguy0408 · 2023-11-08T00:00:02+00:00

Honestly, it's kinda rough on both sides how we got here. I can't fault women for valid fear even if they aren't totally correct either since the men who are predators are a minority and same with those who generalize men on either side whether it literally be men themselves or women.

YouShouldGetLaid · 2023-11-08T00:29:49+00:00

Women don’t want to cover up

his_purple_majesty · 2023-11-08T03:07:31+00:00

"weary" means tired

the word you want is "wary" or "leery"

rieleo · 2023-11-08T07:56:46+00:00

*wary

obviousredflag · 2023-11-08T09:20:21+00:00

NUANCE.

Most men can help themselves most of the times. But if very very few men cannot help themselves some of the times, we have a problem. Nobody says all men are visual. When we say "men are visual" it is implied that being visual is a trait that is normally distributed in men, so most men are medium visual, and few are extremely visual while others are barely visual. This requires a basic understanding of biology and trait distributions in populations. And it's too much to repeat in every single statement one makes.

Cherish_Lifee · 2023-11-10T20:37:01+00:00

the thing is men are already shamed for looking at a womans butt even if she is basically walking around half naked if the girl doenst find the guy attractive. hell some women are offended if you look in their general direction if you are considered to be an unattractive guy. nobody is telling girls dont be worried its perfectly fine to be alone in a guys home you barely know, thats something you should avoid and you should never do at all cost, but being in public with tons of people around, sorry no need to be worried you wont get raped relax, take your schizoprenia medication.

Title	If mens nature is used to justify looking at sexy women then there's nothing wrong with women being weary
Author	Logical_Round_5935
Upvotes	37
Comments	142
Date	November 7, 2023 11:18 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/17q7lm6/if_mens_nature_is_used_to_justify_looking_at_sexy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-mens-nature-is-used-to-justify-looking-at-sexy.1237698 https://theredarchive.com/post/1237698

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