I think the discourse around equality in society has gotten - admirably - deep in the weeds at this point. We're (moooostly) beyond talking about basic shit like "the majority shouldn't oppress the minority" and "making assumptions about people because of their demographic is prejudice". Or in the least, most of us have heard these arguments, even if different people have different opinions on where to draw the line.

With that said, I think "Men" as a demographic have fallen behind - partially because, in prior centuries, "men" occupied most positions of power, so by COMPARISON, minorities and women had to work and fight to catch up. (And, to be clear, they will probably have to continue to fight, to keep the advancements they've made.)

But what should men be fighting for?

(I think) that probably the most compelling battles would be:

  • Length of jail terms/Gender-affected Treatment - People should be jailed based on their crime, not their demographic. Also car insurance rates being higher for men ect.
  • Expectation to be more comfortable with violence and danger - Going to war, killing spiders, expected to be able to fight other men on the street ect.
  • Expectation to have low standards - Expectation that men have to be more comfortable being dirty, sleeping on the floor, doing gritty, painful, or 'nasty' work.
  • Expectation to be stoic and rational - Men should be allowed to have non-violent emotional expression the same as women, not shamed for being scared or sad or anxious ect.

ON TOXIC MASCULINITY: I for the sake of discussion, I'll say clearly that my definition of "Toxic Masculinity" is the belief that there is a form of SOCIALLY-DEFINED 'masculinity' that requires men to engage in harmful behaviors, LIKE the items listed above. Since this is such a ticklish term for so many, I would put forward one more item:

  • BENEVOLENT MASCULINITY needs to be better defined as an alternative - so that there are examples of masculine behavior that men can be proud of, instead of ONLY having behaviors that are "bad" that men have to avoid or else they're also bad.

Just as there were many women in the past who opposed women's liberation, there will be many MEN who oppose these sorts of changes. Some out of ignorance, some out of their own prejudice, some because THEY have benefited from these institutions being upheld, some out of shame or embarrassment because they have internalized these things as a point of pride and don't know what they'd do if they lost it.

I think the LEAST compelling argument that men should probably distance ourselves from are:

  • Requiring women change their behavior to make men's lives easier - Requiring other demographics to cater to you just because they're not YOUR demographic is seeking a system of oppression... where you're on top.
  • Eliminating No-Fault Divorce: Women are not the only people who want to get divorced. There are also men in toxic, unhealthy relationships that aren't overtly abusive, and if those men want to divorce, they should ALSO be free to do so.

I'm sure I missed a bunch of stuff, but let's go over it.