Is it true that a good amount of women want alpha males to have some beta qualities?

MongoBobalossus · 2024-01-11T14:26:02+00:00

Being “romantic” or treating your woman like you love her isn’t “beta.”

ComfortableOk5003 · 2024-01-11T14:36:11+00:00

You’re purposefully not actually describing anything you do…

CringeButCorrect · 2024-01-11T14:23:53+00:00

Every wants the ideal. Some of this, some of that.

Makuta_Servaela · 2024-01-11T14:43:45+00:00

Given that any category you can think of- feminine versus masculine, alpha vs beta, etc- everyone fits in both to ranging extents, yes women tend to want both.

You guys consider showing basic empathy and humanity to be "beta" qualities, and yeah, most women want that from a long-term partner.

No_Constant7907 · 2024-01-11T14:34:13+00:00

First off, the "alpha beta" thing doesn't exist in human social structures.

That's a myth and is entirely fabricated.

Human social structure is built around hierarchy, yes. It's not as simple as "alpha, beta"

Men who have power and control within a given social structure have always acquired it mainly with social skill and competence.

Women do not want "alpha men" or "beta men"

Women want: a man with the potential to be a good long term mate. The qualities that come with this are as follows: Intelligence Physical dominance Competence Attractiveness Reliability Loyalty Benevolence

So in terms the mythical redpill will understand: Women want big strong men who are kind and caring, but capable of being not kind and caring when necessary.

"So why do these egotistical alpha males get so much pussy?"

Because they lie to women or deceive women into believing they have long term mate potential. Manipulation works. That doesn't mean women want to be manipulated.

WilliamWyattD · 2024-01-11T14:27:35+00:00

This is when--as often happens--alpha and beta do more harm than good. But yes, women often want a mix of things. Sometimes that mix is actually MORE purely sexually attractive while also making for a better relationship. Sometimes, women want an impossible combo.: qualities that will increase comfort and connection but that won't decrease desire. How impossible the combination is depends on the woman, ofc.

KayRay1994 · 2024-01-11T15:08:44+00:00

For long term relationships, more often than not (although i’d rather not use the term “beta qualities” and “alpha males”, i feel like a better descriptor is “a man with alpha qualities as well as some non alpha qualities”) - think of it this way; he is assertive, confident, protective and has a good hold on things while being empathetic, caring, tender and loving. These traits not only describe a great partner, but also a good father.

imo this is something all men should strive for - hit the gym, be successful, develop your confidence and assertiveness but also maintain a healthy headspace, keep an open heart and be supportive. I once saw a quote that said “healthy masculinity is about making those around you feel safe and protected”, and i think you need both ‘alpha’ and ‘non alpha’ traits to achieve this.

SupposedlySapiens · 2024-01-11T15:12:38+00:00

It’s almost as if “alpha” and “beta” are completely bullshit terms with no real basis in reality

AdEffective7894s · 2024-01-11T15:21:41+00:00

I am gonna end the discussion right here with this statement.

" Women want to be wanted by men who could have anyone else, the don't want to be wanted by men who can't have anyone else."

CBreann913 · 2024-01-11T18:10:08+00:00

Tbh that whole alpha, beta, omega male stuff is not real.

Every woman is different, and I dont think they say to themselves, "I want an alpha", they just desire men who will love them, appreciate and respect them.

Katlanika · 2024-01-11T14:29:49+00:00

My husband would be classed as a beta male, the man I dated before him would have been an alpha. I found the alpha personality to be overwhelming and exhausting. He was a nice enough guy, just a little too full on for me.

My husband is gentle, kind, compassionate, capable, quietly intelligent. He's like my safe place in human form. We've been together for almost 30 years and I adore him. I'd say he's now beta with a few alpha qualities, mostly just more confidence and therefore more dominant.

I think men with a nice balance of traits are better than pure alpha or pure beta.

Independent-Mail-227 · 2024-01-11T15:08:39+00:00

They think they want and so they say they want, they really don't want because the moment you do this they see you as weak and someone bellow them.

Safinated · 2024-01-11T15:29:46+00:00

Do we want winners to not be assholes?

Yes

SilentFroggy · 2024-01-11T16:45:26+00:00

To summarize: They want a guy that other women want but only commit to themselves. And if you’re physically attractive enough, I don’t think you’d need to do all these “redpill alpha” tactics to keep a woman.

gntlbastard · 2024-01-11T16:57:48+00:00

Women want a guy who is an alpha male that only she can control and tame. Basically boiled ice.

DisplacedBitzer · 2024-01-12T03:49:04+00:00

You’re thinking about this wrong. What do women’s romance books always have? A strong, powerful man. And the main appeal? This strong, powerful man woos/pursues/submits parts of himself for an ordinary girl. The billionaire playboy gets on his knees and asks Becky from accounting on a date/for forgiveness.

So yea, other guys are more dominant. And to an extent that’s attractive for women because dominance is seen as a masculine trait. But they want you to be dominant/mean to others, and sweet to them. Within reason of course. The whole point is you treat her better/different than anyone else.

WANT_SOME_HAM · 2024-01-11T16:01:05+00:00

The terms "alpha male" and "beta male" are horrifically cringey and stupid, used exclusively by dorky men on the internet and/or scam artists trying to con money out of these people. I have never once, in my entire life, heard a woman actually use the term "beta male."

That's because the entire idea of learning how women think by asking men is broken by nature. If you want to learn how women think, ask women. Thinking that women are too stupid and irrational to understand themselves, and require a man to speak on their behalf, is one of the fastest ways to get them to hate you--and why wouldn't it? Who on earth enjoys being patronized by random idiots they've never met?

So right now, you're noticing the basic problem without realizing it: When you talk to actual girls in real life, you're seeing how full of shit these guys are. Their theory does not hold up in reality.

Electronic_West_1831 · 2024-01-11T14:57:47+00:00

Women both want to eat their cake and have their cake

jay10033 · 2024-01-11T15:04:13+00:00

Beta for them, alpha for everyone else. They get satisfaction by being the ones who "tamed" the alpha.

Affectionate_Ad8432 · 2024-01-11T14:26:48+00:00

But if more women are attracted to alpha males and not beta, why would they wish those alpha guys had some beta qualities therefore, out of curiosity?

I don't think most women actually know what they want in a partner until they actually experience it.

RAZBUNARE761 · 2024-01-11T14:36:14+00:00

In my experience what they want differs a lot from what they say and from their emotions at the time when they said it. Thats why you got the stereotypical guy taking what she says rationally and then being confused when she gets pissed about him being like that another time.

stats135 · 2024-01-11T14:38:37+00:00

The standard 20/80 still applies. So if you consider ~20% "a good amount of women", then yea, its true, a good amount want more beta qualities.

Cautious_Respect2184 · 2024-01-11T14:29:53+00:00

It might be that women subconsciously emasculate their man so he won’t leave.

wtknight · 2024-01-11T14:38:14+00:00

If they want relationships with those men then they do, yeah. If they just want to have sexual fun with those men then they probably don’t care.

I do think that most women are hoping for things to go farther than just casual sex with the men whom they have casual sex with, though, even if they deny this. Women who have said things like that they became disgusted when discovering that their sexual partner was a Trump supporter would seemingly indicate this. Women who are genuinely just using men for sex aren’t going to care about things about a man’s personality beyond if they will be safe during a casual sex encounter, just as alt-right men aren’t going to care if they are having casual sex with a leftist woman.

boom-wham-slam · 2024-01-11T15:20:01+00:00

Doing something for a girl is not inherently alpha or beta. Is having a harem beta? Is being a bad ass military guy whose wife cuks you when you're deployed alpha? I mean there's more to it than you buy her flowers you're a beta.

That being said, women want to land an alpha and then change him to slightly beta. This isn't because they want a beta but it's an on going shit test. They wanted an alpha they got one. The second he simps on them they will cheat or dump him.

There's quite alot at play here in what you're talking about.

TheMedsPeds · 2024-01-11T16:19:25+00:00

Women don’t want “alpha males”

Each woman has their own taste. It varies from person to person. Like for me, I likes giy that’s a little shy and nervous. A guy that is a smooth talker with a shit ton of confidence gives me fuckboy narcissist vibes.

Other women would be dryer then a desert around a guy that stutters, struggles with eye contact and is shy. But that is my thing 100%. Seeing a guy be nervous around me is great; makes me feel good, like I’m worth being nervous for.

Purple-Poppins · 2024-01-11T14:56:22+00:00

"Beta" qualities are a poor way of categorizing traits that women favor for long term relationships. Of course women want those qualities in a committed partner. "Alpha" qualities are a poor way of categorizing traits women favor for short-term mating.

Women are generally looking for a combination of short term attraction and long term partnership in one person. (Dare I say, like men do too) Theres nothing mutually exclusive about "Alpha" and "Beta" qualities. (Except when "Beta" is being used to mean "loser").

As women get older and start to prioritize family formation, short-term preferences are deprioritized. It's not that a woman switches strategies to a whole different set of guys, just that as she starts considering a good father and husband, those traits become more salient. The more a woman has invested in a LTR, the more she will want "beta" long term qualities in a partner.

The more experience a woman has in relationships (i.e. as she gets older), the more she will recognize the importance of those long-term "beta" qualities to having a successful LTR. The thing is, the "Alpha" short term qualities are easier to notice when you first meet. Knowing that a guy is generous, compassionate, supportive, or good with kids takes time and getting to know him.

Most relationships start with initial short term attraction, but that doesn't mean that the long term attraction is in any way lesser. RP men in this sub would disagree with me on that, but having a lack of "Beta" qualities (i.e. a low RMV) can really prevent a guy (especially average SMV guys) from being able to maintain a relationship. It all comes down to what your goals are though.

Studies also show that if you are friends first for at least 6 months, the short term physical preferences basically disappear for the woman. Going from friends to lovers happens because a woman has gotten to know that the man has a glut of long term partner qualities that she finds attractive, but that aren't obvious when they first met. Women arent necessarily "settling" for "beta" qualities in men they arent attracted to. We are actually attracted to them.

If your goal is to have a LTR with a woman, demonizing "beta" traits is going to make that harder.

bluehorserunning · 2024-01-11T19:24:30+00:00

Because the whole ‘alpha’ and ‘beta’ and etc. hypothesis is not representative of reality.

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harmonica2 · 2024-01-11T17:13:34+00:00

Thanks for the input everyone! So I guess my girlfriend's friends wanted Alpha guys with the more romantic just for qualities but couldn't find them so they just settled for the Alpha qualities that they could already get?

TheImmortalBantha · 2024-01-11T17:29:26+00:00

Honestly, who gives a fuck? Personally I think the alpha/beta thing is bullshit purely from a scientific perspective, but that isn't an ideological view. If the science came along to back it up then I would support it.

What I would never do is tailor my behaviour to what society says is "alpha" or "beta". Whether I display romantic gestures towards women (or hypothetically towards men were I a homosexual), and how I do so is governed purely by my own ethics, desires, and life goals. Whether said parameters are consistent with society's are supremely irrelevant to me.

CBreann913 · 2024-01-11T18:48:38+00:00

Why is there so many dudes in this comment section who think they know what "all" women want, as if they know, a womans' mind?

Just look at the difference in the answers given by women compared to that of men. Ladies know what ladies like, period.

Zabadoodude · 2024-01-11T19:26:49+00:00

It's not beta to do romantic things for your girl. It's an issue if it's one sided, and she doesn't treat you in the ways that are important to you.

safestuff987 · 2024-01-11T19:53:06+00:00

There's nothing inherently beta about making romantic gestures in itself. "Betaness" is when you have no backbone.

For example, sending flowers to a woman who treats you like garbage is a beta move. Sending flowers to a woman who treats you like a king is not.

obviousredflag · 2024-01-12T12:55:15+00:00

Everything is true for "a good amount of women".

Alpha and beta are not opposites on a spectrum regarding what women find attractive or what they want in a relationship. "alpha" is the bad boy dimension of attraction, "beta" is the good guy dimension regarding what women want in a certain type of relationship. Look at this chart by hoe_math and watch the accompanying video "zones"

<image>

The girlfriends want their boyfriends to get higher on their individual "good guy" scores. This does not affect how "alpha" they are (bad boy score). And no, you should not use alpha and beta for things like being romantic.

Agile-Explanation263 · 2024-01-13T00:25:41+00:00

The true internet definition for alpha and beta is just handsome vs ugly. A handsome guy caring for his woman is seen as super kind and sweet an ugly guy who managed to land anything is seen as "You better know your place she wouldn't be with you without this." In various different phrases but thats the interpretation.

Title	Is it true that a good amount of women want alpha males to have some beta qualities?
Author	harmonica2
Upvotes	0
Comments	167
Date	January 11, 2024 2:13 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1942nnb/is_it_true_that_a_good_amount_of_women_want_alpha/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-it-true-that-a-good-amount-of-women-want-alpha.1242732 https://theredarchive.com/post/1242732

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