Struggling with girls in college

Cybion_ · 2021-11-24T05:44:47+00:00

They can't hook up with those guys if the guys are in the hospital. I'd recommend taking Kung Fu lessons and just whoop all their ass.

PiratesFan1429 · 2021-11-24T01:05:45+00:00

Befriend the jocks my dude

YoDaddy1069 · 2021-11-24T05:22:03+00:00

First off, I’d like to just tell you how lucky you are to be in the situation you’re in. I’d kill to have the chance that you have.

If I were to guess, it sounds like you don’t have much experience with girls. There’s a good possibility that you come off as desperate and needy and you don’t even realize it, HOWEVER, even the dumbest of chics can smell that shit from a mile away.

I’d recommend using this as an opportunity to learn how to be comfortable talking with women. Use this as a giant opportunity to work on this skill so that 5 years from now when you don’t have this wonderful opportunity, you’ll be more experienced and ready. Instead of trying to go out there and expect some kind of results, don’t be yourself, but THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF. Have a good smile, have good body language, make good eye contact, be positive and social. Go out there with the intention of being friendly with women, making them comfortable around you, and then express interest and ask for their #. Good luck OP

Scorchyy · 2021-11-24T00:56:31+00:00

Do you see yourself as a sexual being?

Do you see yourself as someone women would want to be naked with? If no, why not? What can you do to improve yourself in that direction?

yungupgrade · 2021-11-24T09:22:05+00:00

If you’re not attractive physically, that makes it much harder to attract women. My advice, forget women and just fall in love with the process of going to the gym.

AelfredRex · 2021-11-24T02:42:10+00:00

Look elsewhere. They can't be the only women on campus.

Galvatron261 · 2021-11-24T00:53:53+00:00

Get some tats and hit the weights it sounds like. Or pursue a different type of girl.

Labranth · 2021-11-24T08:11:35+00:00

My dude, you’re basically me when I was in college. Just understand this concept: women gravitate towards men who are confident, work on their purpose (business, personal project, opening your own coffee shop, drawing your manga etc. etc.), and who are looking fresh and fit. And what I realised after years of seeking validation of women and stressing whether they like me or not, I understood one simple concept which lead to dating 9/10 girl: girls are only humans

Yep. Repeat after me: girls are only humans

What does that mean? It means that all that enamouring "aura" of theirs, all this charm and woman charisma, all these little situations and interactions between them and so-called "2 or 3 stereotypical guys" is nothing but a way to socialise and survive. Beneath all this facade is a fragile, often insecure human being.

And if you work on yourself instead of trying to appeal to them, you will be amazed how much women will be drawn to you. Hell, sometimes you will wish they leave you alone.

So gain confidence my young pal, grow stronger mentally and physically, and you will become these "2 or 3 guys" in no time. You will become better than them.

Hot-Construction-811 · 2021-11-24T07:21:49+00:00

You need personify the big dick mentality. Don't apologise and don't put them on the pedestal. It works. If you are a nice guy then stop being a nice guy.

stanthemilkman88 · 2021-11-24T07:36:02+00:00

Are you in shape? D Be honest.

Artist-in-Residence- · 2021-11-24T01:08:12+00:00

Well in my experience, if you're being ignored by women it might be because you give off a "mama's boy" vibe. Mama's boys are typically quite rude, have little conversational skills, blurt out whatever they think without a filter, expect women to cater to all their needs and contrastingly are quite bossy, such as telling someone not to "do this or that" when you've only just met them or else very quiet and expect the woman to lead the conversation while they add no value to the dialogue. Then they wonder why no woman likes them lol.

they play sports, do skate, play guitar, they’re fit

These are generally universally attractive qualities in men, because it shows they take initiative and know how to take care of themselves, and smart enough to understand how to learn a musical instrument. If all you do is sit on reddit and whinge 24/7 about why women don't fancy you, that's probably the problem in itself. Instead of time spent whingeing and complaining, you could learn a musical instrument or a new language, perhaps focus on a sport.

HourAdventurous7285 · 2021-11-24T17:15:49+00:00

Bro your problem is that you’re not good looking enough, if you was physically attractive as in your jaw and eye, hair you would be drowning in pussy, you need to take care of those things, get a haircut that suits you well and compliment your jaw and eye area and see if things improve

FlyGuy_2Hundy · 2021-11-24T01:55:41+00:00

Assuming you have your internal ish taken care of (your not needy, your content and believe your valuable and that people will like you) it may be that your in the wrong environment for you.

Usually, if your the more intellectual or introverted type (don't know if you are) you probably don't do well attracting women in clubs. Because clubs are loud and packed with people so it's hard to talk. Attraction happens more visually through body language, physical looks, and cues about your social position. These factors are important in other environments to but in a club or some other big social event, it's the ONLY thing that matters.

You mentioned you liked to understand people/think, etc. I'm just guessing you're the intellectual type. Then think strategically. You need to put yourself in an environment where your strengths will help you stand out and there is a self selection bias toward people more interested in your type: coffee shop, library, may certain student groups, niche meet up groups. "Fight battles" where the odds are in your favour and you'll see a lot more wins

However, if you find you still can't attract women in any environment, the problem is you. That means you'll have to put in some serious work to get over the some of your sticking points.

If you develop your social skills enough where you can regularly attract women in your preferred environment, you can probably have adequate success going into a bit of a foreign environment because you should gain some social flexibility if you're committed to being better with people overall

zeus8o8 · 2021-11-24T12:10:39+00:00

Genuinely stroke those guys egos about how they get all the chicks tell them your problem and if it goes right they’ll help you out. People want to instinctually help out those who see them in good light. Just don’t be a kiss ass just be genuine maybe even throw in a negative remark reinforced by more positive. Just joke around and don’t be somebody you’re not

BathroomFabulous · 2021-11-24T04:26:40+00:00

Respectfully, most these answers are bullshit. 100% you should always focus on improving yourself, but there’s more to it. You can be a great conversationalist with a lot of value to contribute to a discussion but if you can’t frame yourself the right way then you’ll never even reach the discussion. I would suggest you do some research into pick up. It’s an art, you can learn a lot more than how to bag girls through studying pickup. Essentially, it’s social theory and teaches you how to navigate female interactions by presenting yourself in the right light. We have all great traits but it’s all about portraying them in the most efficient & impactful manner. I’m by no means an expert, but a good place to start would be reading/listening to The Game by Neil Strauss or looking up Tod Valentine. Reddit has some threads but a lot are private. If you’re serious about it and want to learn more I can try to get you into a thread I’m in. Hope it helps.

LightningTheThird · 2021-11-24T05:03:40+00:00

If everyone is ignoring you, then maybe you're the problem

Lvl81Memes · 2021-11-24T05:29:48+00:00

Best thing I learned to do was use that frustration to fuel a bit of weightlifting. If you have at yourself for not being muscular enough just go a couple times a week. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither will you. just a bit more muscle and a bit of toning can really help a brother out. Plus if you hang around those guys just a bit you can feed cheerleader syndrome just a bit to help as well

truthbomb999 · 2021-11-24T13:12:32+00:00

Just go lift. Build muscle and get lean. That's the #1 thing women in college want especially

rasputin424 · 2021-11-24T06:30:37+00:00

If you want to fuck them get you a hot girlfriend outside and just continue to be their “friend” I guarantee their perspective of you will change, flirt occasionally, but the hot GF is necessary, they will most if not all want you sexually the moment they know you have another woman, that’s how women work….

Scorchyy · 2021-11-24T03:47:26+00:00

You need some practice my friend. We tend to overcomplicate things unnecessarily. Like a boomer with the wifi router. If you go to four grocery stores in your area tomorrow and tell one woman in each “hey this is random and im feeling a bit nervous but I thought you were cute, what’s your name?” I promise you’ll see results. And if you read this, you’re probably going to reply with a couple excuses about why you can’t do it or why it doesn’t work for you, but the only reason why you or me or anyone else can’t do that is because of fear and lack of persistence. It’s kind of liberating actually. Yes , terrifying too, but after the initial pain of the first 15-20 awkward interactions (maybe 50 if you’re a hardcase), women will start to treat you like the tattoo skater guys you mentioned. I guarantee it.

almost_strange · 2021-11-24T06:42:58+00:00

If you cannot run very fast, perhaps you should not play soccer; tennis may work better for you.

If those guys are successful in some contexts (e.g. party), play your chances in other contexts (e.g. library, dance courses...). Key is to try different contexts and different things.

Girls are sensitive to appearance, like men are)) Just in different way.

chemicalmamba · 2021-11-24T09:05:29+00:00

Only saying this bc I haven't seen someone else say it, but if you are close with one of them or a few, ask them if they have friends who are single and want to be set up.

Idk how long you've been in this program or stuff like that, but probably would be easier to utilize this enormous network of potential female friends you have to meet someone new rather than change the minds of these women (especially if you've already spent a decent amount of time with them). This is useless if you aren't close with any of them, but it's worth considering.

All the other stuff people are saying also is good because then these girls might be more willing to see you as a better person to set their friends up with.

Anonymous12481 · 2021-11-24T05:15:49+00:00

The important thing is that they are physically fit. Take a course on psychology, a basic course will do. Then analyze their behavior. The result is generally: women are rather shallow, and they like to lie to themselves. "I want a nice guy, oh, that guy looks dangerous, I'm going to get his number." As a minor example, having seen this first hand.

*Edited for typos.

intensely_human · 2021-11-24T07:28:02+00:00

Seek sex in other social circles. Once you get some, the girls in your current circles will re-evaluate you. You don’t have to tell them; they’ll know.

Also, get fit. Muscles really help.

musicman8675309 · 2021-11-24T06:10:36+00:00

I have seen the befriend the jocks comments and agree. If you get it even better with them, play into their bullshit, then girls will eventually see that you stand out among these egotistical airheads.

crypto_sui · 2021-11-24T07:21:29+00:00

What college program do you go to?

McPoyal · 2021-11-24T09:25:14+00:00

Get in really good shape...learn some guitar...you can skate too!

Join clubs.

Go to social events. Develop and share a hobby.

2021-11-24T11:15:55+00:00

those 2,3 guys are confident...work on your confidence. ask those girls out be persistent and persuasive. Be assertive and ask them leading questions (ask for socials\number) then ask where they live tell ask them meet up and stuff...

2021-11-24T14:00:11+00:00

Work on your confidence. Stand out. don't copy the stereotype. LEAD. become your own man. and create a friend group that vibes with your world view. I think a lot of people tell you to try to fit in with the jocks or whatever. But if you want to get laid then the jocks have to talk about you...they need to mention your name somehow when you are not around...at the end of the day the jocks are probably not as smart as other dudes...so that is your forte...intelligence.

Seek your purpose and work on your body and mind...people will eventually recognize that and will gravitate towards you

polardabear · 2021-11-24T14:16:42+00:00

Seek excellence. Care about yourself and your passions. Girls will follow.

Live-Ad-6309 · 2021-11-24T15:58:12+00:00

There is a reason girls like jocks. And while their bodies are definitely part of that (hit the gym, i don't care if "that's not me", just do it), my belief is they tend to be more unapologetic, assertive, just more masculine in general. Being friendly doesn't get you far with women. You need to polarize to spark extreme feelings, like hate and love.

Most guys like you who I know, if my assumptions are correct. Think they're "being them selves" whilst they're actually being incredibly passive and bendable, trying too hard to be seen as friendly and sociable. Rather than as who they actually are deep down.

2021-11-25T06:39:38+00:00

There’s this mistake that a lot of men commit that’s knowing the difference between approaching the relation with a girl as a friend or as a possible fuck, the interaction is completely different, which one are you using?

klootviooI · 2021-11-24T10:24:07+00:00

Stop jerking off, build up those pheromones

No_Air_5047 · 2021-11-24T10:39:17+00:00

ITT OP is a beta who self depreciate himself and too hard headed to listen to good advice

reversedbydark · 2021-11-24T10:53:12+00:00

''they play sports, do skate, play guitar, they’re fit, they got tattoos''

Do you see a pattern? It's not about literally getting tattoos...it's about being cool, wouldn't you want to be with a cool girl? Do you consider yourself cool?

If not you need to mix it up. How?

- go work out

- pick up an instrument

- get some great perfume (I use Acqua di Giò and had great feedback)

- get a nice watch (I have a Classic Slim Brathwait that gets compliments a lot)

- get some really cool shades

- get a high quality leather jacket

- NEVER EVER WEAR SNEAKERS AGAIN on social events, try oxfords, brogues or chelsea boots instead (leather only)

- NEVER EVER WEAR A SIMPLE T-SHIRT on social events, try a shirt with a classic tailoring, great material and a cool pattern (I have a couple with stripes used to great effect)

- Check out AND STUDY The Social Man & Coach Correy Wayne on youtube, they helped me tremendously on understanding women.

Give yourself time for the results to kick in & let me know if you have anymore questions.

Cruzzyboy29 · 2021-11-24T15:39:22+00:00

Honestly, i think it all boils down to masculinity. Chicks love that. Search up masculine traits. Girls want assertive men. Not scared and awkward boys.

charmin_U_2day · 2021-11-24T19:01:55+00:00

Give it a couple more years. For some reason at this age of 29, everywhere I go I see girls giving me signals and flirting with me. They love men with age. Wait to you grow some white hairs and grow some muscle. Bitches love that

GarlicTraditional227 · 2021-11-24T06:52:46+00:00

Wear a 💍

immn00b · 2021-11-24T10:45:48+00:00

Fuck women bruh.... Focus on career... Stop going for such low tier girls.... The more you want something... The harder and complex it becomes in the case of gals.... So giving a fuck to gals... And just socialize when they do .. have some fucking self respect.. if they go for those 2-3.. let them.... Looks won't pay the bills in future... And girls who go for them will fuck up there future... Don't Stop their own doom. Just once try looking them the way you look any guy... Remove the sexuality factor and then judge them... You will instantly find many women are pretty pathetic than a average man.

ryshoner · 2021-11-24T12:44:12+00:00

I suffered from the same issue - mist popular dudes in college will achieve poorly after college because they have no reason to give it all. However you can built self esteem and achieve sth because this will eventually lead you to success. Hang on a few years and work on yourself, success and female attention will come once your peer women grow older.

ebmnm · 2021-11-24T13:22:25+00:00

I was in a very similar situation as a education major. Alot of my classes there were only 2-3 guys and it is alot of pressure to try and hit on a girl. If I could go back I would just become friends with as many of them as I could and then you could network through them and eventually one of them may give you signs of interest.

BillyClubxxx · 2021-11-24T20:13:50+00:00

Lift weights, start taking jiujitsu, CrossFit is the best thing I can recommend.

Like you pointed out women tend to gravitate towards those guys and being fit is a part of that, whether it feels fair or not it’s just a fact.

You can’t make yourself taller or change your ethnicity but you can work out and get more muscular.

You can learn to fight/do martial arts that all men will respect, as will women, and when other men are intimidated by you they are forced to respect you more.

Not because you were being a bully or anything, just the fact you’re strong and train they have to consider how a physical confrontation would go and that tells people how much to respect you.

This will change a lot more than just your body. It will change your mind and make you more confident.

Which is really the biggest part of all. Your own confidence is the number one determiner of how successful with women you are.

A fat dorky guy who is confident and funny will be more successful than a decent looking in shape, insecure quiet guy.

But if you are the cocky funny, in shape bad ass too you get to take your pick.

It’s just how the animal side of us works.

Best of luck!

youKnowImRightBitch · 2021-11-24T23:06:38+00:00

"white guys" way to put race. Then I bet 100% you go for white girls. Stop harassing them and settle for one that is like you. They can see it.

chris23399 · 2021-11-24T09:56:14+00:00

what does this man study?

HammertonMili · 2021-11-24T10:06:45+00:00

"You don't know her man, she's from another school" , putting the joke statement aside, Maybe your girl isn't in that college or program you're in. It also maybe a hindrance that you're in the same program as they are and thus know what type of person they're gonna expect in.

oakpen · 2021-11-24T10:14:47+00:00

To much focus on getting the girls focus on making yourself vaulable.Go. to gym

Learn new things.
Understand concepts of what makes someone funny, attractive, clothing, style.
It can take years but its an investment for yourself not for girls.

The girls are a bi product

earsurgery9 · 2021-11-24T10:37:57+00:00

hit the gym and get some tats then try again

SuaveFuck · 2021-11-24T10:45:39+00:00

very little. unless you manage to be even more "masculine" like the alpha jocks. either equal with them or outdo them. and make yourself a complete neanderthal to impress useless immature college sluts who only exist through their youth and appearance.

seriously, trust me. it feels shitty now, but not being popular in college means nothing. just like, "being popular" in general is a stupid competition game not worth playing.
try to be yourself, be OK with that, and keep talking to the girls. and at some point, YES, let them know that you have a dick too that would like to see some action.

S0GGYS4L4DS · 2021-11-24T10:50:37+00:00

Get around to other places where people have similar interest as yourself. I particularly enjoy music venues hosting artist I like as I find like minded girls there. Although it’s near impossible to hold a conversation with music blaring…

Fluffy_Risk9955 · 2021-11-24T10:57:36+00:00

Go YouTube and watch the content about dating of entrepreneurs in cars. The guy is unsugar coated in his approach, but he tells you exactly what you’re doing wrong and why.

There is a high chance you might reject what he has to say and that dependent on how invested you are in the narratives that girls put out there. “Oh you’re so sweet. I don’t understand you don’t have a girlfriend.” Lines like this keep you in that mindset, cause she’s saying you’re doing a great job at making yourself attractive, while they go off and fuck the leader of the football team. Entrepreneurs in cars will show you these discrepancies and how to start thinking about this stuff in order to get what you want from the girls.

damiancontrol · 2021-11-24T11:15:14+00:00

Bro what do YOU bring to the table? Those dudes sounds awesome to me that's why they get the booty

WheelIntelligent1354 · 2021-11-24T11:24:45+00:00

Honestly get ripped, if you don't have patience r/moreplatesmoredates and r/steroids might help.

Add some elevator shoes. You are playing on easy mode, it's been proven that more women=more casual sex in universities.

gangoni · 2021-11-24T11:50:43+00:00

Clearly the 2-3 dudes are doing something right, follow what they do or befriend them

Get fit and start doing activities

Significant_Ad_3292 · 2021-11-24T12:19:38+00:00

Location??

DajuanKev · 2021-11-24T13:35:51+00:00

The "All the guys except 2-3 are invisible to them." sounds unrealistic man. There are obviously girls at the college for you, especially since it probably gets new transfer students every other day.

Keezymac34 · 2021-11-24T13:41:26+00:00

Bro girls are passive they will rarly ever come to you even if they like you. Approach then and get use to it.

Dwaynedibley24601 · 2021-11-24T14:03:40+00:00

Here's your issue... too many girls... girls in a herd are very difficult to deal with... you need to find spaces with fewer girls or learn how to split the herd.

2021-11-24T14:30:58+00:00

You can meet girls outside of parties. Like literally just walk up to cute girls anywhere you see them on campus (library, food hall, the streets, etc). Don't do this too often as to avoid building a reputation, but 10 or so respectful approaches a week is fine.

yadav07 · 2021-11-24T14:45:17+00:00

so I am the only one wondering about his program?

kjpowers · 2021-11-24T14:57:00+00:00

give their attention to the same 2-3 guys

Are they especially good looking?

ragetanic · 2021-11-24T15:42:01+00:00

I think you are missing the picture and are trying way to hard while having a negative outlook. Be chill, be fun to be around, and realize no one owes you anything.

ThatGuyInTheKilt · 2021-11-24T16:31:05+00:00

I think the answer is pretty clear here. If all the girls are going after the same few guys you have a few options.

Number one: befriend the popular guys. Instead of going after the same 2 or 3 guys it might become the same 3 or 4 and include you. 1A, if you befriend you could also request some wingman assistance.

Number two: Remove them from the equation. Set up a social event that excludes them. Without those few available, suddenly the women are looking at the other men with a fresh eye.

Number three: Use larger social events to get to know some of the women really well, then ask someone to a movie/concert/etc.

eyesopen1111 · 2021-11-24T16:32:07+00:00

Non-premium guys can still get laid because (1) women do not have a perfect system of pussy allocation even when there is a single preferred male type and (2) women usually make sexual decisions emotionally, especially in college.

That’s the good news. You are not being frozen out of the pussy market.

This is why learning Game and changing her emotions is much more relevant to your success than improving your one-rep max on some weightlifting exercise.

MTV's old show Jersey Shore featured muscle bound Italian-Americans and the women who loved them, steroids and all. These guys were strongly favored by women at the time, but women grow and change, too, so all of this is just phase.

Crixusgannicus · 2021-11-24T16:35:39+00:00

1) Play guitar.

2) Get fit.

Either will be sufficient.

Protip

3)Go anyplace else, pull chicks from there, the best you can, and bring back to your school.

Chicks HATE competition from outsiders. And as a bonus, they will rate the competition

as higher than the competition actually is which is good for you.

2021-11-24T16:46:09+00:00

Don’t focus to much on it. It may be hard to at first. But once you start letting people come to you it’s easier to communicate. And have the mentality of “if the girl is right for you” not if your right for her, when more women show interest. No one else’s opinions matter as much as yours. But don’t ever become a douche.

2021-11-24T17:07:17+00:00

Be the best version of you so you find the girls who want YOU. If you try to morph yourself in to some kind of type you’ll attract girls who want something you are not. You don’t want that.

ThatGuyInTheKilt · 2021-11-24T17:21:52+00:00

I'm also wondering about the dynamic. You described the three guys as white, which implies that you're not. Are the girls all or mostly white as well? Most people seem to be naturally or socially conditioned for a heavy in group romantic preference. If the girls are also mostly white it would help explain why you're not getting anywhere.

Freerz · 2021-11-24T21:43:49+00:00

Read 3% man by Corey Wayne. It’s a game changer

Delicatestatesmen · 2021-11-24T22:39:32+00:00

hang out with one of those guys would work.

Zealousideal_Joke441 · 2021-11-25T08:25:07+00:00

Only like 10 guys? Kill them. Less competition.

SandtheB · 2022-09-04T05:39:54+00:00

All the answers you need here!!

https://youtu.be/D6MxPx6DBaM

Title	Struggling with girls in college
Author	Scorchyy
Upvotes	440
Comments	251
Date	November 24, 2021 12:52 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/r0s3w9/struggling_with_girls_in_college/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/struggling-with-girls-in-college.1271825 https://theredarchive.com/post/1271825

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