Do girls ever make a move for guys, or do guys have to do ALL the work while woman sit back and do nothing?

thetahill · 2019-02-06T14:46:37+00:00

You have to look at is this way. Even above average women can get away with doing very little work.

Imagine if you woke up to 10 DMs in your Instagram inbox just from posting a selfie, got hit on 5 times a day, and also got 200 likes after being on Tinder for a day (I know women that this describes who aren't even that pretty).

Are you really going to take the social risk of putting yourself out there? No, you're going to probably just give hints and see which guy will take you up on them, because if one guy doesn't, there will be another guy who will.

The only women who I have ever known who have "made moves" have been ones who either were REALLY attracted to me, were drunk, or who didn't have guys lined up so they had no choice.

finemustard · 2019-02-06T16:56:27+00:00

Nah, they make moves sometimes. I'm pretty garbage with women and generally suck at approaching and escalating and even I've had women basically drag my oblivious ass into seeing what's up.

Jhinn11 · 2019-02-06T18:08:16+00:00

Hmm well recently I went to a club and a female approached me and we hit it off pretty good and after exchanged numbers. She would always start the conversation with me and after about 2 weeks we finally smashed with me putting in 0 effort. Those types of girls are rare but still do exist

creamyturtle · 2019-02-06T18:25:38+00:00

I've done this at bars in college. meet a girl, get her laughing, have a great conversation, and then try to walk away. most girls will insist you get their number at this point, if they really felt a connection

DajuanKev · 2019-02-06T16:38:46+00:00

Girls in fact make moves, bud. Its just so rare that at the same time, the rarity is an illusion.

Girls are supposedly always "friendly" so its unnoticeable when they do when she could in fact be displaying a "liking" to the guy.

great_account · 2019-02-06T17:28:30+00:00

Girls do make moves. They only do it for guys they're into and if they've been in a position of having to do it(not particularly attractive, from the East coast, really crazy about someone). You should not expect anyone to do anything for you.

john_dune · 2019-02-06T17:33:36+00:00

My wife asked me out on a date.

KrAzyDrummer · 2019-02-06T21:16:08+00:00

I'm literally watching this happen at work. One of my coworkers has been confiding in me and another coworker about her dating life (honestly surprised she has one, she's...kinda large). There was this whole drama about an ex-friend's ex-boyfriend and how she liked him and wanted to "do stuff". (Ok timeout from the story for a second, the goddamn vagueness of dating nowadays is so annoying).

Anyways, they hung out a couple of times. She got too drunk and he would take care of her (great precedent she's setting, btw). Anyways it got to the point where they had a "serious conversation" and she said she liked him and he reciprocated (ooooh she LIKES him, are we 14 or 24?! I can't tell anymore). So she spend like a WEEK stalking this dude, wondering why he wasn't texting her when he was clearly on snapchat (cause his points were moving or something; idk I barely snap anymore).

Bottom line is, by the time I hear this, we have the following exchange:

"Ok so you like this guy?"

"Yeah"

"And he likes you?"

"Well, he said (blablabla), but basically yea"

"And you want to date him?"

"Yeah"

"Ok so what's the problem, ask him out"

"OMG no! No, I would never"

Me: Pikachu face "wait, why not? you like him, he likes you, what's the problem?"

"(Don't actually remember what she said, just sort of muttered something about not asking guys out)"

I was done at that point. But it demonstrates a clear point that sometimes girls just won't make those moves. Ever. And I know I'm a pretty blunt guy (and I told her this right before that exchange happened), but still that blew my mind.

Bobandjim12602 · 2019-02-06T15:54:06+00:00

[permanently deleted]

jenkinsonfire · 2019-02-06T17:53:49+00:00

Girls do make moves, but most don’t make moves the way guys do. A typical girl move is something that paves the way for the guy to initiate.

Personally aside from a girl directly initiating conversation with me (not super common), one of the most obvious moves has been when I locked eyes with a girl in a bar and she moved closer to me and my friends so I can start a conversation

Schroef · 2019-02-06T17:42:56+00:00

You sound like you resent that it’s like that, and it’s not a good mindset for you to be happy.

It’s like saying “I hate that the sky is blue”— you’re allowed to, but it’s not gonna change. It’s way better to just accept this and go with it.

(And, to go into it: girls have to put effort in as well, just not the same as guys do)

mookyvon · 2019-02-06T17:26:32+00:00

Supply and demand my dude.

creamyturtle · 2019-02-06T18:28:27+00:00

my ex girlfriend got my number by asking my friend for it, then just started texting me asking if we could hang out. she was a bartender at a bar across from our apartment complex

Caimthehero · 2019-02-06T18:06:51+00:00

Jesus christ man come on. First girls never day game first so if that's what your asking get over it. Second just because girls aren't approaching you at a bar/social event doesn't mean they don't approach, or they are approaching and you haven't realized that's what they did. Girls open game almost entirely with body language. Here are examples.

A girl that likes you will make these moves. 1: She will stare at you and try to make eye contact, usually followed by a look down after she does and then coyly looks back up 2: She will put herself in your path. IE she will sit somewhere close and wait for you to open. She generally won't be talking to anyone during this time, maybe looking at her phone while she waits for you to grow a pair. 3. She physically touches you. With women it's safe to assume that unless you're at a packed area with no room that all touching is on purpose.

All of these are her making the first move and more importantly they're subtle. Very few women will ever go up to you sober and initiate approach verbally. If you're waiting for large neon signs of attraction the way guys give girls, you'll be waiting a long time.

ramokaly · 2019-02-06T17:55:49+00:00

They do. I’m not that attractive and I’ve had several women chat me up and ask me out on dates. My buddies too have had women going after them all the time. You just have to happen to be around women in your life for example at uni or social circle or whatever AND be an over all decent guy. Girls around you will take interest in you. If you never have girls make moves on you then you aren’t hanging around enough women or you’re lacking other things.

CamoWoobie10 · 2019-02-06T21:07:40+00:00

Vast majority do not, the ones that do predominantly are (directly) asking out high level guys. Average guys will almost never get something direct, the best they usually get are "signs that shes open to be approached by you"

CleanWholesomePhun · 2019-02-06T17:56:56+00:00

I get hit on by women every now and then, I think it's because I'm kinda small and nonthreatening? Also it usually only happens when I'm at the beach or wearing a shirt that shows my shoulders and such.

BB_Paydays · 2019-02-06T18:06:16+00:00

my current gf actually made the move to kiss me and thus becoming my gf we were good friends before and she knew i was kind of afraid of kissing bc of a past relationship and since im still only 16.

UnparliamentaryTea · 2019-02-06T23:08:45+00:00

Just yesterday my (female) roommate told me I need to respond back faster to girls, because my recent problems with them being so wishy-washy over text and not getting second dates is that I often only text back every 3-4 hours. I understand trying to be prompt to respond, but I’m busy and sometimes I’m tired and not in the mood to text back. I don’t really understand the idea of “if I stop responding tonight, he better text me tomorrow to show he cares, then he better respond every five minutes even if I leave him on delivered for 2 hours to continue it” that women have. I’ve even noticed girls growing colder who make moves on me initially.

Quite frankly, most women make it too hard, but they also have it really easy, so it makes sense. That’s why abundance mentality is so important. Just say what you think and how you feel, and if she doesn’t put in the work, some other girl will. Keep them on rotation, it’s the only way to even the playing field. Women complain about how “every guy I talk to is talking to 35 other girls,” but they’re all doing the same thing because it’s the best way to reduce risk

PUA19124 · 2019-02-06T17:31:02+00:00

Biology has given you the job to chase. Do it.

K3wp · 2019-02-06T17:31:40+00:00

I've had a few 9-10s make moves on me because they were looking to get married. That's the notable exception.

However, I failed their shit tests.

Kolkhoz · 2019-02-06T18:26:02+00:00

My gf of 5 years mostly made the moves on me cause I’m an oblivious idiot.

2019-02-06T21:08:35+00:00

I don't think most girls actively pursue unless there is unusually high interest and even then would never make an actual first move. Girls do more subtle things like get in your way, make up reasons to be around you or find other ways to get noticed. Sometimes I doubt men notice. In the above example, I probably would have walked the guy to where ever he was going even if I didn't know the way. The good thing though is if a girl ever does make a move- you know for sure she really likes you.

somenightsgone · 2019-02-06T21:36:34+00:00

I’ve had numerous women hit on me, but I completely missed the signs until it was too late.

BUT, I’ve also had a couple experiences, where women have approached me and made it very very clear that they were into me. It doesn’t happen often, but it does happen. I should also note that all the instances where I’ve been hit on like that, the women were more or less drunk. Really not sure what to make of that, other than they just must’ve been more brave atm

nongo · 2019-02-06T22:33:20+00:00

Does an egg swim to the sperm?

confidentgirl · 2019-02-06T17:42:00+00:00

I (25 f) definitely make moves on guys. He doesnt have to be super hot either, just someone I would like to go out with because we connect on a number of topics/areas.

I give signals too but definitely also a straight, can i have your number or would you like to go out with me is common for me.

2019-02-06T18:05:20+00:00

If you mean being as direct as throwing herself on you at a party or straight up asking for your number, yes girls do it, but as other commenters have said, the guy is very likely extremely attractive to her taste. On Reddit this will seem like nothing but a brag, but I know this from experience.

If you haven’t experienced this as an adult man yet, it won’t happen soon and you should work on your approach. Life ain’t fair.

DeathRebirth · 2019-02-06T18:07:11+00:00

[permanently deleted]

PrettywiseBP · 2019-02-06T19:34:06+00:00

Going off my experience, girls who have more value, (9/10's) and who are considerably more attractive (models, air hostesses)- they've been the ones to pick me up. As you can imagine this process involves a lot of shit tests and you still need to be on your best game but they'll be the ones to come out of the woodwork and want you. These are the girls who stay in your memory too, they give you that buzz the next morning after thinking about what you've just experienced. The average girl has long not been able to provide that emotion.

lannisteralwayspay · 2019-02-06T20:56:38+00:00

The last three girls I went out with have all made moves on me. First one literally asking for my number, second one her cousin telling me she was free, third one asking me to dance.

However, I wasn’t just approached straight. The first one I had been talking to her for a bit beforehand before moving to something else, second one I asked her to teach me a new dance style, third one we exchanged flirty looks.

In all three scenarios I was having fun, talking to other people, and enjoying the night regardless. So I looked like a fun and interesting guy.

Women very rarely will make a move on you out of nowhere, but they will give you a lot of opportunities to get close to them (in a broad sense, not just physically) .

unclesteve_12 · 2019-02-06T23:37:20+00:00

Women make moves all the damn time.... they are just really subtle.

I like to call it the “handoff”... they put you in a position to take the ball and run with it.

If you don’t, then it’s your fault in their eyes. They made the move of making it easy for you.

OneDayTheyAllSay · 2019-02-07T02:00:01+00:00

If guys completely stopped hitting on girls, would girls start hitting on us guys?

authorized_sausage · 2019-02-07T03:37:56+00:00

As a woman, I think we mostly need to feel safe, in all ways, to be that forward, mostly. Most societies condition women that sexual aggression is vulgar, even in Western societies. So there's that fear. This biggest fear, though, is that most men can physically hurt us. And most of us have experienced some sort of physical intimidating to all out harm. So there's a lot of tip toeing.

But most of us, if we feel totally safe then that gives us confidence to make a move.

I think this is a societal problem/phenomena more than hormones.

2019-02-06T17:45:17+00:00

In my experience, most women who do the pursuing are trouble.

Being a naturally shy/introverted/reserved guy who’s relatively handsome, I’ve been pursued by women before. It’s usually a very fickle heat of the moment thing and they mostly wind up being on the very slutty/dishonest side.

That’s why you have to put in work and break the ice/approach. Lots of girls, especially the ones who make good relationship material aren’t going to be the type to go “on the hunt”. Because it’s a fruitless game for women. A woman trying to get laid is like a guy trying to open a pickle jar. If they put in the slightest effort it will happen.

dan_Poland · 2019-02-06T16:53:53+00:00

'Does she ignore it because most woman are shy and beta. Or does she ask him for contact info because she’s attracted."

Most of the time she doesn't make a typical 'move", she'll rather send some signs of interests because as a society we are programmed it's a male job to "lead" and approach

SaintYeezy21 · 2019-02-06T18:13:08+00:00

Girls have 100 percent done all the work in my experience. Every girl I met has been the one to tell me she likes me and ask for my number. That’s why I’m on this sub to learn how to do it to them instead

splishdsploshd · 2019-02-06T19:41:57+00:00

Trust me girls DO make the move. They just aren’t direct. It’s the subtle things they do like how they make eye contact or touch you. Game is all about noticing these things and acting on them.

BeyondSeduction · 2019-02-06T14:41:22+00:00

Women do a lot! Mostly, they send signals. Men act upon signals. That's how it is mostly in the animal kingdom. A rule of thumb to remember is this: Women are the gatekeepers for sex. Men are the gatekeepers for relationships.

The question is: are you able to read her signals? Do you want to act upon those signals of invitations? Can you? or are you too scared and needto improve yourself step-by-step?

For the specific example...well.. most people aren't trained enough to act on the spot like that. That goes for the girl as well as the guy in that example. Also, women aren't more beta than men. it's a case-by-case thing,

jotitaaaaa · 2019-02-06T17:47:25+00:00

I hooked up with this one girl from my school who comes from a wealthy family. She’s crazy confident. She initiated conversation with me in gym class, she asked me for my snapchat, she asked me why I wasn’t flirting with her in my snaps, she texted me that she thought I was sexy and wanted to hookup with me. She was the one who asked when we were going to hang out lmao. I ended up going over her house but the point is no, there are always girls who are outliers. The girl in my case was hot, popular, and rich... a very good combination for developing self-esteem. It is though, usually the man’s role to do the escalating.. just how it it. Male vs female energy just tends to work that way, girls are more timid and guys have to get over themselves. You don’t want to grow up being a little bitch, developing the skill of approaching women and facing your fears is something of great value especially nowadays.

suscribednowhere · 2019-02-06T19:04:17+00:00

all the work-- it's a stamina game (;

genoherpasyphilaids · 2019-02-06T19:11:42+00:00

Hey thats not true, they open their legs too

ZaraVau · 2019-02-06T19:38:59+00:00

I can tell you from experience, a Lot of guys don't want women to make the first move... also on tinder. A lot of guys told me that they think it's weird, when I did the first move and wrote a message. So in real life.

nastyamerican · 2019-02-06T19:41:52+00:00

You have to do all the work. Stop being butt hurt about it though. After you have some experience, you’ll realize this actually to our advantage.

Illegalparker42 · 2019-02-06T19:49:32+00:00

Keep in mind women get nervous just like men. If you look like James Bond and are a good desirable person with a solid head on your shoulders...that's intimidating to average women. They might feel that you are way out of their league

UnleashDaJuice · 2019-02-06T19:54:44+00:00

Its crazy that I see this thread today. My boy Jin and I were literally just talking about this on our Podcast we recorded last night (Jin & Juice Podcast if you're interested). Basically we agreed with you, girls really NEVER make the moves to escalate with a guy whether itd be approaching in the first place, asking for the number, admitting attraction or really anything that'll lead to an instant date or future date. The girls that we had on as guests got kinda butthurt about it but at the end they couldnt help but agree.

We came to the conclusion that the reason why girls have no game or do any of the approaching is because naturally theyre the selectors. Guys do all the charming, run all the game, create all the attraction, set up the date, ALL THE WORK. For that reason women never developed game because they never HAD TO. They're naturally submissive and passive, guys have had to take the mantle of being more aggresive and dominant so it only makes sense that it applies to sex and romance as well. I can't say I've ever gotten laid and it was the girl who initiated the first conversation, or won me over, or escalated physically once we did start the "courting process".

Also though I think a big part of it is whether they admit it or not, girls are very prideful. Its hard for them to handle rejection. Making the first moves and putting themselves out there like that puts them at risk for that rejection so they tend to avoid it and just sit back and wait to be swept off their feet.

2019-02-06T20:19:56+00:00

A girl approaches me and asks for my contact info like once every blue moon. Tbh I hardly ever go to bars and parties so my experiences are me walking down the street or on the bus.

peachpie23 · 2019-02-06T20:33:40+00:00

😂😂😂

dudde96 · 2019-02-06T20:39:50+00:00

I think women will only do it if they meet someone they think could be just their type and find extra attractive. I had briefly talked to this guy in a club, and was so interested in him, that I found him again, sat down a place he could see me and waited for him to make eye contact and approach me. So he obviously thought he was doing all the work, but it was definitely a team effort lol. We've been together a year and a half now and live together. But I do think women generally want to be pursued and not seem desperate

bazookateeth · 2019-02-06T20:44:00+00:00

It depends my first girlfriend of almost 6 years who I was deeply in love with and he was dropdead gorgeous actually approached me and gave me her number. Had she not done that I do not think that I would’ve gained as much or learned as much about dating for polarity or attraction. So to answer your question no it’s not impossible and in rare circumstances it may even be somebody who you end up falling in love with that approaches you. But yes at the end of the day you can guarantee most likely that you are going to have to do more work and effort then they are at least in the courting process. Now that doesn’t mean that you should confuse that with doing more work and putting in more effort when you’re in a relationship relationships are about reciprocity there about being reciprocal and you should strive for that when you’re actually with somebody. But women want to know that you’re a worthy investment and you can prove that to women by actually showing interest in pursuing them not overly pursuing them but giving them the desired amount of attention they are seeking from being courted.

lannisteralwayspay · 2019-02-06T20:59:59+00:00

The last three girls I went out with have all made moves on me. First one literally asking for my number, second one her cousin telling me she was free, third one asking me to dance.

However, I wasn’t just approached straight. The first one I had been talking to her for a bit beforehand before moving to something else, second one I asked her to teach me a new dance style, third one we exchanged flirty looks.

In all three scenarios I was having fun, talking to other people, and enjoying the night regardless. So I looked like a fun and interesting guy.

Women very rarely will make a move on you out of nowhere, but they will give you a lot of opportunities to get close to them (in a broad sense, not just physically) .

Greatwhitewolf44 · 2019-02-06T21:13:48+00:00

I had a girl once move on me. She was courageous but sadly that was the only positive thing I had to say about her. I wasnt interested at all.

2019-02-06T21:37:30+00:00

The last guy I went on a date with I asked out. Saw him in a pub, asked if he was single and asked for his phone number.

MOTAMOUTH · 2019-02-06T21:42:57+00:00

I get hit on by girls, strong eye contact, they laugh at everything, they're touchy.. It happens. Sorry to say but normally it's not the attractive ones doing that...

BeforeTheStormz · 2019-02-06T22:19:55+00:00

Yes I've had girl ask for my number before

Be really funny. It works well

Lil__croissant · 2019-02-06T22:29:35+00:00

I'm so fokin bad at picking up the hints that already 2 girls had to ask my number before I found out they were interested

2019-02-06T22:30:46+00:00

No because women are TERRIFIED of rejection and handle it horribly. Have you ever seen a woman get rejected? It's really, really cringe worthy....

drizzyfan · 2019-02-06T23:07:43+00:00

Try bumble

TheLonelyPotato666 · 2019-02-06T23:13:59+00:00

Just deal with it man, this sentiment is pathetic

2019-02-06T23:22:03+00:00

[permanently deleted]

KindnessWins · 2019-02-06T23:23:02+00:00

Women have more to lose in rejection than men. Imagine being a woman and bringing up the courage to walk up to you and ask you for your number. Now imagine how you would make her feel if you laughed at her and called her a loser. Or told her to get lost. Or even a polite "I have a girlfriend".
Whole different story.

2019-02-06T23:27:07+00:00

Welcome to reality!

VtCollegeboy · 2019-02-06T23:30:22+00:00

I’ve had girls make moves on me many times before. However, their moves are a lot more subtle than what a girl would get from a guy. If a girl likes you she will position herself and try to get your attention. That being said I have had girls cold approach me and start the conversation. Happens to me a lot at parties.

Deus_Vultan · 2019-02-06T23:39:59+00:00

Work? Flirting is not work...

dukes1998 · 2019-02-07T00:13:57+00:00

Depends on the girl. More masculine or super confident girls are more likely to not give a fuck. But they're not the majority. Girls pretty much just make it super obvious they're into you.

A girl today for example in one of my groups for class would be delegating stuff to do while almost exclusively making eye contact with me, speaking more or less directly to me, facing me and essentially told the other guys in my group they were good to go and asked me to stay and "finish the project" which really meant do a little work and talk. Then she proceeded to drive me home. She's probably an 8/10 with 4000 followers on IG so she isn't fiending for dick.

That's about as obvious as most girls are gonna make it, with the exception of drunk bitches who will occasionally approach me or even just walk up to me at a party and start hooking up with me.

fall0ut · 2019-02-07T00:38:31+00:00

i have had women approach me first. sadly, it's never the woman i want to approach me first.

Avocadoavenger · 2019-02-07T00:55:27+00:00

I almost always make the first move to get who I want. I'm reasonably attractive but the ones that are forward enough to ask me out aren't necessarily the ones I am super attracted to so I don't bother waiting. I make my own destiny.

omigahguy · 2019-02-07T01:14:26+00:00

I had a female co-worker flirt with me for a year and a half. She eventually told me...I had no idea what was going on.

Ichikarayarinaosu · 2019-02-07T01:32:41+00:00

Dude, for real - you're right.

The gal I'm seeing at the moment, the night we met she was drunk and high. After five minutes of conversation she said, "Do you want to have sex with me?" Fell ass-backwards into a night of sex, and being seeing her since. But this exception prooves the rule.

I talk to her alot about game, and I've established it as a non-monogamous relationship. She even admits that "guys have to do a lot of work to get laid . . . it's easier for women to find sex."

But since we hooked up, she has been chasing me. In a "god, I want to be in a relationship with this guy" way. Don't think I'm supercilious. I riddled with self-loathing, inadequacy, and self-deception. I'm a very late bloomer to this whole thing at 37. But it makes sense in the "Women are gatekeepers of sex, and Men are the gatekeepers of relationships" model. She opened her gates in the manner to which she is accustomed. And then I established how our relationship would be and what it would not be. She tried to challenge me plenty of times but I would assertively communicate that if she tried to do that I would bring things to a close. This only intensified her desire to be 'relationship material' to me.

So in conclusion - it seems to me that men do the work to get sex, and women do the work to get relationships. If we as men find ourselves working to establish relationships then we're not acting in accordance with our roles.

2019-02-07T01:49:18+00:00

I've seen it plenty of times, though to be fair, I've had a lot of platonic lady friends throughout my life. Women just tend to be a little less overt in displaying their interest, it doesn't mean they're not doing any work, just different work. Your post even admits the guy in the hypothetical is clueless re: the women's interest.

At risk of sounding boastful, I've personally been hit on by women many times and even only lost my virginity because the girl in question initiated.

0001none · 2019-02-07T05:36:31+00:00

hot girls almost never have to work at all, ever, on anything, and are frequently incompetent as a result

2019-02-07T09:09:33+00:00

The only place where I saw women do work was in Scandinavia. I got #metooed and I loved every moment.

Frya · 2019-02-07T09:14:09+00:00

They do if they like you, but it's subtle.

Last month I've exchanged eye contact with some girl at the mall, I've noticed that she was looking at me. She then made sure to bump into me 5-6 times, staring at me trying to make eye contact again. Mall was big, so there was no mistake that she did it intentionally.

I remember other examples, but they all come down to the fact, that girls will try to "expose" themselves more to you if they want you. They likely won't talk to you first or approach, but they will make it easy for you to approach them.

And they will roll their eyes if you don't catch the bait ;)

2019-02-07T10:40:57+00:00

Sometimes, rarely. Every time it's happened to me the girl has turned out to have serious issues.

Once I was working as a cashier at my supermarket job and a hot girl seemed to be giving me the eyes. I just brushed it off, I pretty much knew I was a complete loser back then.

But when I finished my shift, I had a Facebook message. "Hey name, I always see you at <store> and wanted to know if it's ok to add you as a friend?". She'd somehow found me just from my first name. Small amount of chat, asked her out for coffee, and a few days later she asked me over 'for a cuddle' at 9pm. Smashed a few times. Couldn't really believe it. To this date she is the hottest girl I've ever had sex with. So what was the catch? She really messed me up. After that night she pretended to want to see me again (like she actively messaged me first) but was always 'really busy with study' etc so couldn't actually see me. She still had me chasing her up for the day she posted on FB "catching a flight to go and live with my new boyfriend". A few weeks later all traces of the boyfriend were gone and she had moved back home. I was seriously messed up for 6 months after this ordeal. I didn't know what she was playing at. No normal girl would have approached in the same way. I guess she just wanted validation.

Another time I was in Thailand catching the boat to Ko Samui. A Taiwanese girl on holiday sat near me and started talking. She is the kind with thousands of IG followers. She waned a selfie with me. Wanted to touch the blonde hairs on my arm. After 10 minutes of meeting her I had an idea. 'come to the front of the boat' (it was secluded). We stood there in silence looking at the water. I just knew this would work - I turned her towards me and pulled her in for the kiss without saying anything. She kissed me back extremely passionately. We pulled back and kept looking at the view. Suddenly the floodlights came on and we were brightly lit up. We went back to the main part of the boat. I fucked her the next night, but then she had some giant childish screaming tantrum when her phone got wet. Very unstable girl.

I guess guys who are 8/10 or higher get these encounters all the time but with mentally stable girls. They certainly don't need to do it with any other guys though.

benjaminlifestyle · 2019-02-07T11:47:05+00:00

You have to do the work bro! If you duty as a man! tinder doesn’t work you have to do the work and approach

SinSlayer · 2019-02-06T14:51:26+00:00

I've been approached a lot in my life. Some women are just bolder than others.

ImJustSo · 2019-02-06T17:50:38+00:00

You're obviously disgruntled about the physics. Your perception is that women don't do any of the "work", because you don't like your job and don't appreciate their job either.

Here's the shittiest, hard thing to hear for (not only you but) most guys here. Women do most of the work and you're just so bad at your job that you can't recognize it.

Women will: Make their interest obvious. Help you get laid. Tell you how to get laid. Tell you everything they don't like. Tell you everything they do like. Follow you wherever you lead them.

You do not like: Looking for interest. Help getting laid. Following step by step instructions how to get laid. Listening to what others don't like. Doing what others like. Leading people.

Prove me wrong, bitch.

Edit: bonus points, women will actually ignore your worst shortcomings, if only you'd let them.

jotitaaaaa · 2019-02-06T18:06:13+00:00

Alpha vs Beta comes from behaviors that were observed in monkeys that a man was studying. The role of the alpha was to protect the tribe and lead them. All other male monkeys were beta. We think we are are so sophisticated, but at the very core we are monkeys and display many primal behaviors. The way social interactions work for us are very similar to how they work with monkeys. Obviously, we are more sophisticated, but there will always be someone in any interaction that is seen as the leader. They invest less in the interaction than the other person and are seen as higher value, thus making them the alpha. Its proven that cortisol levels drop when someone is put into a situation when they are the alpha proving that this is infact a phenomenon that comes from our primal instincts and does exist.

jackzander · 2019-02-06T17:11:01+00:00

Alpha/beta is a silly myth
Women approach
Women work
Your failure to witness this is caused by something else
Possibly your attitude

2019-02-06T15:30:01+00:00

Plenty of women will take you all the way to bed if they like you. Women don't get as much attention as you think.

dryo · 2019-02-06T17:34:18+00:00

I think, there are many ways to approach this, and it depends on the context of your situation(not...that situation dude from Jersey Shore)let's say you're in a bar, see what's going on, analyze a bit, try to have a good time, don't start looking around like a groundhog, popping up your eccentric head around for good looking girls, women know what's up, I always do the "Frank Castle" style, don't go macho violent white knight bullshit, just try to turn your objective of a fun night in a bar, in just a fun night in a bar, most of the times guys lose perspective of that, you WANT a girl not NEED a girl, you will need the support of your wife and she will need yours sometimes,(that actually turns a girl up, don't know why), if you can show that in a way that doesn't turn up all white knighty or servantly, you won ONE battle, you're resourceful.

In the OP's situation, what happens is simple, that guy, didn't want to approach, as simple as that, if he did, he would be doing something called indirect approach which works depending on the context of the situation, same as my last "Frank Castle" example, you turn out resourceful(you're being indirect,as long as it also involves her and the objective is for her, not some other douche) and that's a way to disarm a women in a situation where she knows, SHE KNOWS someone's gonna approach, but when it's not, such as daygaming, you can go all in;straightforward,indirect or resourceful just to open up a conversation (or any situation where women don't expect to be approached on).

Don't force it, I know it's hard to keep the conversation going,don't give up, talk about anything as long as it's not about you, or just her, keeping her involved and keeping her talking is king,nag something out of her conversation and go back(tease she will notice), also try to be as excited as your topic and it has to be an interesting topic, you can turn a wheel of certain topics and she has to "ding" to at least 1 always, but as long as you sound secure, honest and have a strong knowledge of that, it WILL BE JUST FINE,ask for whatsapp, remember WHATSAPP,not the phone(she will give you her number obviously, but you're not asking for her number, that sounds creepy these days, if she notices the obvious at least you will act the fool that you forgot that it asks for a number and she won't have a reason to test you anymore), if she says no, stop, and go "...well it was nice seeing you/meeting you we'll catch up later" and leave, don't waste your time insisting and never let her close the conversation.

TL:DR

Being resourceful is the new sexy these days...for some reason.
Have fun, in whatever the situation you're on.
3.- Don't loose focus of why are you in a place you are.
Daygaming is a trial camp, test pickup lines, go all in(without being creepy)
Don't force the approaches nor the conversations,have fun;
Don't talk about you if she doesn't ask.
Keep her talking or involved in the conversation,look into her eyes.
Ask her for her WHATSAPP,not the phone and let her pick a social media for a follow up.
If she says No, stop, and go "...well it was nice seeing you/meeting you.
Don't let her close the conversation, look at her bodylanguage and notice when she feels uncomfortable.

remember, YOU DON'T NEED A GIRL, AND SHE DOESN'T NEED YOU, YOU WANT A GIRL AND SHE WANTS YOU.

note:there are plenty of grammar mistakes,hence the heavy edits.

reneplee14 · 2019-02-06T17:29:55+00:00

I am very sorry to tell you that « The Girl of your dreams will never come and knock at your door. Never! » .

. Here is a good way to solve your problem

How to approach women like an Alpha Male

whatyouseeisit · 2019-02-06T16:48:26+00:00

I've made moves plenty of times. Idky this is 2019 and you're bitching about this.

Title	Do girls ever make a move for guys, or do guys have to do ALL the work while woman sit back and do nothing?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	215
Comments	178
Date	February 6, 2019 2:30 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/anr8h8/do_girls_ever_make_a_move_for_guys_or_do_guys/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/do-girls-ever-make-a-move-for-guys-or-do-guys-have.1461879 https://theredarchive.com/post/1461879

Comments