(Context: This is a question AskWomen wouldn't have, and AskReddit doesn't allow text posts)

This is borne from a post on AskReddit (?) I recently read: a question for women, asking what they like about men, and the answers almost entirely being about the men they were already in relationships with, which disappointed me (though through no fault of anyone, since the wording wasn't specific).

This is in the context of a narrative I (a non-Tinder-hot man who's had ~interesting experiences~ with patriarchal and gendered abuse) have personally grappled with: if she wants you, you're a literal deity to her, otherwise you're basically a cockroach and she already expects apologies.

Sure enough, it's atrociously incellish; but I actually haven't come across much pushback from either "side" of it. For manosphere types, it's The Hard Biotruth of The Females™ where for girlboss types, it's being a Queen who Got No Time for Whiny Man-Feelings™ and it's cool and feminist. Somebody out there probably examined this, but in my defence, it's a hard question to Google.

I'm asking in hopes to see this examined and potentially dispelled.

Thanks for your time.

edit: I haven't been replying to the good replies individually, but I'd like to clarify that I really appreciate them.