To LTR a guy who just wants sex is like paying for an ugly sugar baby.

AntonioSLodico · 2025-01-01T17:28:14+00:00

Women not being down to fuck a man ASAP is usually not about how hot the guy is.

Men being down to fuck a woman ASAP is usually not about him not wanting a LTR with her.

I'm convinced the biggest issue to dating and relationships these days is a shortage of empathy (and related things like tact) all around.

Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2025-01-01T11:54:29+00:00

I agree, a LTR is not only about sex. I understand that for some folks they don't want to be in a LTR with horrible sex and want to reduce the cost of investment to avoid going above 3 dates but there is a lot more than sex in the equation

For the ones with the real intention of hooking up, they are young or have joined a movement

John_Oakman · 2025-01-01T16:07:18+00:00

This has the same energy as believing the official GDP per capita while ignoring (if not actively rejecting) the PPP GDP per capita.

Yes officially fuckbois and other riffraffs are social outcasts unworthy of the privileges of fulfilling social obligations by being the LTR partner to a woman. Unofficially there's no relevant penalties and most of them do end up in pretty good LTRs despite their previously adventurous youth.

Also yes there's plenty of provider type males (using the terms males because based & redpilled real men of the manosphere will never recognize them as men) who'll cuck up and become stepparents to single mothers of less than Hollywood beauty in relationships lacking in intimacy. Those women manage by leveraging their social legitimacy (which tend to work on provider type males, and not real men, but then again surely they're not trying to make a provider out of a fuckboi?).

But all that aside, to repeat the point with different words: it doesn't matter the official social narrative individuals will behave to their own set of incentives & disincentives, and for men (and many males) the fulfillment of social obligation is the price to be paid for intimacy, not the other way around.

Last (unrelated) note: the males who appears to see social legitimacy as an end instead of a means to an end are the ones women should really watch out for, for their ulterior motives and timescale are an order of magnitude longer than most people's.

Perfect_Sir4820 · 2025-01-01T13:27:49+00:00

"paying for" 😂😂😂

Pro-IDGAF · 2025-01-01T13:27:30+00:00

so what you’re figuring out here is that men are the keepers of the relationship and women are the keepers of sex.

guessing you’re having a tough time with men these days.

this feels more like a rant than a debate but maybe i’m too dense.

Artistic_Bumblebee17 · 2025-01-01T22:13:47+00:00

Ugly men do use relationships as a proxy to casual sex. They do not meet the minimum threshold for casual flings so they pretend they want a relationship, they’ve been doing this for centuries

barry1988 · 2025-01-01T12:05:23+00:00

Well I'm a guy and to me I disagree. Iv been in situations where iv talked to a girl one the phone a lot for a couple of weeks to a couple of months or longer and I already know that I like this girl and I vibe. By the first date I already know I like that particular girl and it is a case of confirming we vibe in person after weeks on the phone/face time.

I still want to sleep with her the first night because a) I am sexually attracted to her and like sex/intimacy and physical affection. And b) I need to know she feels the same way and a woman having intimacy with you in some way tells you that. For women sex is the biggest indicator for attraction/interest. Without sex we would just be good friends/platonic

No-Rough-7390 · 2025-01-01T14:31:20+00:00

It’s not a hook up issue, it’s a desire issue.

The greater desire a woman has at the start -> the higher likelihood that it is maintained throughout a relationship.

The number of men I know who were unhappy with their sex lives prior to marriage who thought getting married would assist in that regard are astounding. And, what do you know, they were all wrong. Which flies in the face of your assumption.

Livid-Log7463 · 2025-01-01T22:02:52+00:00

I’m all for waiting but the same argument that “why invest into a terrible person who just wants sex and doesn’t give a single shit about you?” Can be said back from men as “why invest into a terrible person who isn’t even attracted to you and just wants to use you?” Would you pay steak prices for NOTHING?

A comparison in reverse would be like saying would you date a guy that is on the fence about liking you at all or at the very least doesn’t show any form of being interested? Part of this problem probably comes from how much the dating phase is one sided in favor of women.

weenieandthebutt · 2025-01-01T13:16:00+00:00

The fact that a man is already organising dates and paying is an investment on his part and shows his intent to commit. I know when I already like a girl from the get go from prior conversations to the connection/chemistry I feel in person. Most people know when they already like someone from the first date - it's why second dates don't usually follow if there's no initial spark.

I've always been honest about my intention from the start whether an LTR or a hookup. I don't see any other reason for a girl to withhold sex or any form of intimacy unless she's not properly into you.

It's a lose lose situation for either party. The man's going to feel resentful and undesired if he's made to wait. The woman will have her time wasted if it turns out much later they're not sexually compatible. A man's true indication of interest is if he still sticks around after the deed.

CarHungry · 2025-01-01T15:51:19+00:00

If the "vast majority of females can spot a pump and dump" then why are you here complaining about it?

Either guys do it cuz it works, or you've just completely fabricated a hypothetical to get mad at, which is it?

caption291 · 2025-01-01T12:03:58+00:00

Men want the girl that doesn't care about them to care about them therefore the guy will do things to try and make her care.

This is pretty straightforward and you seem to have understood the man bad part.

Now, what if I told you that Women want the guy that doesn't care about them to care about them?

SimpleStart2395 · 2025-01-01T14:14:33+00:00

Too much talking and too little doing on here.

Everyone wants to give and get.

Then they come onto places like reddit and brainwash themselves into thinking there’s no one out there

Leeola_Mcgillicuddy · 2025-01-02T06:17:32+00:00

I don't know why they think they are slick . Some are also just bewildered that women won't agree or go along with their "explanations" about why they hold these views. Women have got wise to it. So they default to basically "you should let ME mistreat you and have you at the lowest possible discount in the "sexual market" because you would give Chad a discount".

They pretend it is lost on them to acknowledge the question "would they do any of this for an ugly woman or sugar baby?"

ControversialDebator · 2025-01-02T18:53:58+00:00

Because for most guys ,the only way they can get sex is through actually knowing a girl and developing something of a relationship with her. If most guys could get sex through easy hookups then they wouldn't be complaining on here. Most guys are taught to actually know a girl first as most women wouldn't sleep with a random man straight away.

The problem is that when guys do develop a relationship with a girl ,she usually friend zones him and so he doesn't get any sex. That's the Fundemental problem. If men asked for hookups straight away then they are immediately rejected as creeps unless they are extremely attractive. Yet if they try to get to know the girl and develop a relationship they get friend-zoned.

babazuki · 2025-01-01T12:20:02+00:00

Are you suggesting the woman's contribution of her physical intimacy to a relationship is the equivalent of a male's contribution of dates, jewelry, time, effort and money towards a relationship?

RoseyButterflies · 2025-01-01T13:10:48+00:00

Don't worry they are just jealous and feel entitled to sex. That's all it's about and all it has ever been about 😂

They don't understand that men wanting just sex turns most women off instantly 😂

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Main_Aside_3072 · 2025-01-02T19:23:27+00:00

The vast majority of females over 18 can spot a pump and dump scheme.

Only issue I have is that you believe woman can do that. They can't my friend. I've been friends with attractive guys all my life and even in our 30s they still do pump and dump and women still get it confused all the time (i.e they think they want a LTR). They're good looking tho.

It's okey, that doesn't mean women are dumb or whatever incel take you think. It's normal. Most guys can't spot when a women doesn't really like them either or are just with them for the money. It's a thing both genders do.

GlumCareer8019 · 2025-01-02T20:44:39+00:00

Title sums up my abstaining from dating. Kind of ick potato hitting me up for cash because even without gender rolls she's still going "can you loan me 200$ I won't make rent" when her income is bigger than mine.

petellapain · 2025-01-03T13:31:04+00:00

I think the fundamental problem men struggle with is knowing that women are dtf for a hot enough guy, and that guy isn't him. This makes a man feel like a clown if he's trying to be a genuine person who wants to court a woman in a sweet way, which many men want to do anyway. But in the back of their head, they feel they are being punished by being made to wait since a convict with face tattoos is rearranging the guts of the woman who tells him it's not all about sex

Snoo71180 · 2025-01-05T09:32:14+00:00

Men absolutely know the difference between a hook up and a LTR. From what I'm reading you're not dating / hooking up with men in their mid 20's or beyond would be my guess because you're hooking up with "guys" as you say. Actually if you want to be pampered you may have already gone older idk. You should know that the human brain hasn't even matured until your mid 20's and guys at that age want to get laid period and they don't care if they're slick. If you think you're slick and they don't see the GD coming out even as a younger guy then you might need to re-assess.

It's very simple.... all men know the difference.....younger guys are after one thing especially if you're pushing them to be taken care of when you're both 20 something (or younger based on the 18 comment). LTR's are about vulnerability, connection, love, being kindred spirits and taking care of each other. Men, and most guys who have dated certain types, know this as well because most we can see a GD a mile away. Also not slick

Environmental_Day558 · 2025-01-01T15:03:02+00:00

The vast majority of females over 18 can spot a pump and dump scheme. I really dont know why guys here think theyre slick.

I was kinda with you until this point, but considering the amount of single motherhood I've witnessed and speaking with women who almost all conviently had a 'toxic ex' , I don't believe this. Maybe it's obvious to you and ppd women here, but "the vast majority of females" is a stretch.

Also men generally don't ask for a hookup because a lot of women who want hookups themselves wouldn't be responsive to it. They prefer to be in their little "situationships" to have some sort of a title and feel better about doing it.

wtknight · 2025-01-01T14:51:39+00:00

[permanently deleted]

SadCahita · 2025-01-02T00:56:08+00:00

Now see it from the other side: why should I keep waiting for the sake of someone who has gladly not waited at all before? Why be the one paying steak prices (months of LTR and dates) for ramen (delayed sex or even not sex at all)?

profstarship · 2025-01-02T04:37:43+00:00

It's much easier to convert an existing customer than it is to get a new customer. Most relationships I've had started as hook ups. Sex is good, we're compatible, evolve into relationship. This idea of making a guy earn it always back fires. That's why you get posts like

"we dated for awhile and then finally had sex and he ghosted me, he was using me for sex."

No girl, the sex was that bad, could have found that out much much sooner if you didn't play games. Do what you want, but making guys wait means you'll just end up with the guys desperate enough to keep waiting.

LillthOfBabylon · 2025-01-01T12:07:19+00:00

It's hard enough to understand what women want from a casual relationship as it is, let alone an LTR.

Relationships typically require people to be vulnerable and invest into the person.

What does this even mean?

If you want money to buy something, just say so. Don't overcomplicate things.

SoooDisappointed · 2025-01-01T17:58:03+00:00

Men should not risk a dead bedroom. It'll be suffering for both parties.

IcyStormDragon · 2025-01-01T18:41:16+00:00

...Do you seriously think that the guys who just want sex care even remotely if you want an LTR with them? The moment you let them smash, they've already won. They got what they want, and most of them are probably happy that you don't want to LTR them. Meanwhile the guys you want to LTR have to do all kinds of ridiculous shit before they get to smash. Do you seriously not see the error in your line of thinking?

just_another_fuckboi · 2025-01-01T20:46:27+00:00

The only thing that separates a friend from a relationship is sex.

So if men and women can be friends, all women offer men for exclusivity is sex.

EssentialPurity · 2025-01-02T17:00:48+00:00

You owe me one Ruble for each person that takes this as an insult

Title	To LTR a guy who just wants sex is like paying for an ugly sugar baby.
Author	LillthOfBabylon
Upvotes	30
Comments	191
Date	January 1, 2025 11:33 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1hr19lu/to_ltr_a_guy_who_just_wants_sex_is_like_paying/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/to-ltr-a-guy-who-just-wants-sex-is-like-paying-for.1540059 https://theredarchive.com/post/1540059

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