CMV: dating is harder for women because we have to look good

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2025-04-10T02:31:29+00:00

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IcyTrapezium · 2025-04-09T06:19:16+00:00

Nope. Men have to look good too. Most of looking good is the same between genders. Being fit and having healthy looking skin, teeth and hair. All the rest is added on. You don’t need fake lashes or nails or expensive purses to be attractive.

I love when men wear a little eyeliner because it typically makes them hotter, but even that only makes guys I find hot hotter. Most of the stuff you listed can somewhat enhance appearance but it rarely tips the scale from unattractive to attractive.

reallinustorvalds · 2025-04-09T07:56:29+00:00

Women do not have to do any of these things. You exclusively do all of this shit because you're attempting to date guys that out of your league. You're attempting to deceive them with all of this shit, it'd be like me renting a Lamborghini for a date and LARPing as a multi-millionaire.

The reality is that unless you are visibly deformed, there is definitely a guy who would be attracted to the "natural" you (no make-up, fancy clothes, lip fillers, botox, etc).

OppositeBeautiful601 · 2025-04-09T14:47:22+00:00

I can guarantee that 99% of men do not care about designer handbags. In fact, it's a detractor as we don't really get the value of an expensive handbag.

abaxeron · 2025-04-09T08:59:16+00:00

we have to look good

no you don't "have to".

https://np.reddit.com/user/abaxeron/comments/1ebqi09/that_okcupid_graph/

0th percentile woman == 73rd percentile man.

hopeidontforget2021 · 2025-04-09T05:56:43+00:00

Hair

This matters a lot for men too.. Except we have to deal with a high risk of balding

Skin care regimen

Everyone should have one.

Botox Fillers Lipo Breast augmentation BBLs

I wonder if there are more men under 25 that use TRT/some kind of gear than women under 25 that have any of that

Major_Staff_655 · 2025-04-09T13:48:17+00:00

CMV: Men have a harder looks barrier than women to be able to date

Evidence - Women can get sex by just existing even if they are elderly if they use dating apps. Femecls don't exist.

ProtectionPolitics4 · 2025-04-09T05:50:34+00:00

Correction - looks are much more important for men relatively speaking. You basically have zero chance if you don't meet a certain looks threshold whereas for women you still have lots of options.

You listed a bunch of things that can enhance your looks, great. Men are mainly judged by their facial bone structure and genetics. There is very little you can improve.

Muscletov · 2025-04-09T06:46:17+00:00

Women having a myriad of quick and accepted methods to substantially improve their appearance is a privilege. Men are expected to be upfront and confident about every flaw because anything else would be "insecure" and "frauding". I'd much rather have the option to improve my appearance artificially, even if it entailed some work.

Not to mention that the vast majority of women don't even do a quarter of the items on your list and are still entirely succesful on the dating market. Much of this stuff is not even popular among men and definitely "we do it for ourselves" things.

And the point "designer handbags" must be trolling, seriously.

Superannuated_punk · 2025-04-09T08:02:20+00:00

That's a very specific genre of woman you're talking about there.

The chicks I know will do their hair and makeup and wrestle their way into some spanx for a date; but they're not getting their nails did.

While we're on it - most dudes don't give a shit about nails. That's 100% girl stuff. Don't put that on us.

I'm not even saying the girls don't have higher grooming standards - because they absolutely do - but just wind it back about 20% there, bud.

Hungduck69 · 2025-04-09T08:29:58+00:00

Literally every one of these applies to men too or nobody actually cares. Toes lmao nobody cares

wtknight · 2025-04-09T14:11:32+00:00

Women don’t have to do these things. Men would still date women even if women did none of these things. The only one that might bother men is not shaving armpits and legs, but this amount of work isn’t much more than the facial hair work that men have to do.

Really, women only do all the personal appearance work for a) impressing other women and b) trying to stand out to the more attractive men out there compared to other women.

Ego73 · 2025-04-09T19:36:05+00:00

Literally what does anything on your list have to do with looking good?

Mick427 · 2025-04-09T06:14:37+00:00

We are expected to learn how to do our make-up

YT has thousands of tutorials

Botox, Fillers, Designer handbags, Breast augmentation, BBLs etc

Most men either dislike these or downright hate them

Designer handbags, even the fake ones are a huge red flag

EulenWatcher · 2025-04-09T06:00:39+00:00

Both men and women struggle with unrealistic standards for their appearance. Filters and social medias have magnified the problem.

Having said that, most women don’t do all things from your list, and some of the things women as their hobby, not necessarily for men.

Looks standards are also not the only part of dating struggles. I’d say the threat of violence is a higher concern for a lot of women.

leosandlattes · 2025-04-09T06:04:51+00:00

I think I have it harder for me in terms of my safety over the average man, not because of looks. When I was single and I went out, I would have random men grabbing me to dance on me, and that’s panic inducing.

But looks and overall?! There are like a billion and one weirdos in the world who fetishize Asian women—I had some guy want to get with me because he thought I “looked” Korean, and he was disappointed to find out I wasn’t LOL. Women definitely have it easier overall.

Logos1789 · 2025-04-09T07:07:00+00:00

If a woman needs to worry about enhancing those things about her, then she’s not meant to be attractive.

Livid-Log7463 · 2025-04-09T11:07:20+00:00

A lot of these aren’t even what most men even find attractive…

What’s harder to live up to low standard for 1 thing? (Looks) Or what men have to live up to which is high standard for ALL traits.

MarioWilson122 · 2025-04-09T16:59:24+00:00

Nope its way harder because we must become successful on top of looking good.

I mean you can maybe get away with being a bum if you are very attractive as a man but looking good is the bare minimum for a man while a woman can be just fine just being average.

Neptune-Jnr · 2025-04-09T22:20:12+00:00

Nah the bar for "Looking Good" is a lot less for women when it comes to dating. Most of the stuff you pointed out is stuff women do for themselves anyways.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-04-09T06:05:08+00:00

We don’t have to look good. Its just the most important thing about us

I choose not to prioritize my appearance, and I am fine with what that gets me

The part of dating that’s harder for women is finding partners who care about aspects of you other than your looks or pussy access

BobtheArcher2018 · 2025-04-09T06:44:55+00:00

I think this is a bit off. Yes, there is a Female Burden of Performance just like there is a male. But the males are arguing that now they have the same old male burdens, and have to increasingly shoulder the female burden in dating--caring about appearance, but also about success and having a masculine persona and so on.

The real thing that must be demoralizing for women is how little success impacts their dating chances. To compete in the 'male world' you have to adopt certain behaviors. In order to marshal your emotions for this task, a woman (or a man) becomes invested in these things. These achievements and accomplishments become part of their identity. As much as men bitch about being success objects, there is a positive aspect: those things they invest in and identify with actually move the needle in terms of mating. Meanwhile, to a woman who has worked really hard to achieve success and identifies with those qualities, it must suck hard to discover how little this matters to men in dating.

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Trancetastic16 · 2025-04-09T08:02:02+00:00

Both genders have unrealistic attraction standards, exacerbated by social media and dating app addictions particularly for Gen Z.

Women often engage in hygiene, grooming and fitness for themselves and/or to attract others, and so do men.

Women feel pressured by other women to wear make-up including in competition to look good to men, but in return there are less socially acceptable ways for men to improve their own facial appearance through makeup as women can due to restrictive gender roles.

Personally I genuinely prefer no make-up on the face but also admire the skill and artistry of women who do wear facial makeup, and also admire painted nails and also do so for myself and to show to other’s.

Parrotsandarmadillos · 2025-04-09T08:37:40+00:00

Men weren’t taught to groom as much because their fathers came from a time when women were basically property. It was assumed that he’d find a wife if he could provide. Now guys are waking up to the fact that their appearance matters equally.

Men actually are far more disadvantaged in this regard because their toys and childhood is based on fun things rather than appearances (with the exception of fitness and sports). Girls grow up with toys centered around literal beauty from the day their born so their quite prepared and socialized. Men aren’t. Many think it’s gay or metrosexual or whatever.

This doesn’t mean to lose hope though. The way I see it, Sub 5s can become normies and sometimes chadlites, and Normies can become chadlites and sometimes chads. It all depends where you are.

Now that being a provider is not an option anymore, we will see massive changes in the coming years.

SherbertDense1415 · 2025-04-09T12:58:47+00:00

For women to achieve STATUS they have to look good. Certainly not to receive sexual attention from men.

See all the fat women racking up huge body counts with OLD.

Odd-Fun-9557 · 2025-04-09T18:20:18+00:00

When I used to work at restaurants some restaurants would require you to wear make up because it gives the impression you care about yourself

Men don’t have to do that I’ve heard men say body hair on women is unhygienic ( which isn’t true) and that women who don’t keep up with their body hair don’t care about themselves

Within my culture ( I’m black ) having your hair and nails done are an indicator of taking care of yourself and caring about yourself

Men aren’t expected to do any of those things I agree with op

MasterAd6260 · 2025-04-09T05:51:02+00:00

I disagree. You only have to look good if you expect a man to pay for the dates.

If you’re an independent 50/50 woman like what most of you claim to be then any man would be open to dating you as long as you regularly put out and don’t demand any gifts or finances.

Clean-Luck6428 · 2025-04-09T06:28:10+00:00

I get my haircut on a schedule. Have long hair that requires a decent amount of products. I get manicures and pedicures. I have a daily spf I use on top of a cleanser and moisturizer. I exfoliate when necessary and get a facial twice a year. I have quite a lot of custom made shoes. I have designer clothing and accessories as well (eg watches and sunglasses). I pay for a gym membership. I have some dental work and get my teeth cleaned every 6 months.

Beauty tax my ass. It’s honestly a turn off when you see women overpay for snake oil beauty products and trashy clothing that will be out of fashion next year. There are more bad filler jobs than good ones. BBLs still need more medical research and development so that it doesn’t make your hips look like airplane wings. Natural breasts are typically preferable to fake larger ones. You can save the money you spend on spanx by putting the fork down and working out

Title	CMV: dating is harder for women because we have to look good
Author	Windmill_flowers
Upvotes	0
Comments	172
Date	April 9, 2025 5:47 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1juyng3/cmv_dating_is_harder_for_women_because_we_have_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-dating-is-harder-for-women-because-we-have-to.1549030 https://theredarchive.com/post/1549030

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