Cold approaching is the answer to every man's problems when it comes to dating but most men don't want to put in the work it takes to get to the point of being able to do it.

Virtual_Piece · 2025-04-13T20:09:31+00:00

I go to the gym 3 times a week and took on a challenge to try to eat more healthy food and love how my body feels. I am not really approaching anyone but the few times I have talked to people or even women it hasn't even been that bad. I don't really have any interest in dating tbh because I can't even properly take care of myself so I ain't gonna involve some random chick into this but I like me right now and don't have any real intention to change.

According-Tea-3014 · 2025-04-13T22:25:59+00:00

Cold approaching really only works if you're attractive.

Efficient-Baker1694 · 2025-04-14T00:03:03+00:00

Yeah no. Most women have made it very clear that they don’t want to be cold approached anymore. They’ve had too many bad experiences of men doing this and they don’t want it anymore. Also the potential consequences of cold approaching a woman far outweighs the potential successes now. It’s not just a polite rejection anymore. That’s the best case scenario if you do get rejected.

srwat · 2025-04-13T20:45:12+00:00

The more social wit you have, the more it translates to confidence and charisma, surely.

There can only be benefits to being better at talking with people. Certain people will make excuses as to not try to better themselves, but even if they are at an unlucky genetic starting place of sorts, they can still improve their overall outlook by some kind of positive %, maybe single digit, maybe double digit.

Something worth noting is as a guy, sometimes when you are overweight, your social opportunities are reduced overall, you can end up in a forced invisible mode of sorts, and the opposite of this of course is when being fit, social opportunities seem to keep arriving unsolicited even just by placing yourself in places you normally would have visited anyway.

The people I feel bad for are the people that manage to look max as well as social max themselves and they hit a hard ceiling far below where someone exerting much less effort is able to surpass them. Though, life is unfair and it is what it is. Something for them to get over and move on from, no one can change that.

I don't see anything incorrect about the main ideas here, dressing better and being able to socialize better means a lot for any kind of interaction, even if it's just man to man. I mean, just imagine if a con artist goes into a mall wearing a nice suit, pretending to be a music executive, modeling agent, or such, many people would cave into such a thing initially just due to the stylistic presentation of it all.

Dertross · 2025-04-14T03:53:44+00:00

Cold approaching is a humiliation ritual, annoying even when a stranger strikes up a conversation platonically. I've had men strike up a conversation with me before, and it never leaves me feeling any better than if they hadn't talked to me at all. I'll still engage in the conversation just to pass the time ( which I assume is why they are doing it ), but I could have just as well spent that time not talking at all.

LevelCaterpillar1830 · 2025-04-13T20:26:23+00:00

Hilarious. Approaches like these never work if you don't have the looks. You were probably just some temporarily-embarrassed good-looking dude who didn't put in the minimum effort, then, you decided to start putting in that effort and voíla: women on a platter.

If all it takes for women to become more receptive to you sexually/romantically is "dressing and cleaning up a bit", you were never an ugly dude in the first place. Just a lazy, unclean, yet still gifted man in the looks department.

Edit: While I do agree that you can make PLATONIC female friends like this, sex is an eeeeeentirely different topic.

BrianMcTill · 2025-04-13T20:11:39+00:00

You must play in your league and still have very thick skin because you will face with an insane level of rejection.

G4M35 · 2025-04-13T21:28:03+00:00

Cold approaching is the answer to every man's problems when it comes to dating...

I am now happily married, but when I was single and successfully sowed my wild oats, I never once cold approached any woman.

In this sub it's the same old story, most everyone (but not everyone) pontificates with their own opinions, neatly packaged as if they were fact, and apply to everyone, be they men, women, or whatnot.

Contrary to popular belief, we are not all the same.

GOVERNORSUIT · 2025-04-14T02:41:03+00:00

lf cold approach is the answer, there;d be no incels, pua;s, or losers left. lf it worked, then everyone'd be doing it. the reason why so few people do it is cause it;s a waste of time. almost all guys who cold approach never date, and almost all guys who date never cold approach. see the pattern?

l;ll even take this one step further. all the guys who cold approach are not only never dating, but never get invited to parties, bbqs, picnics, or pretty much anything. they;re usually excluded from all social circles, and for good reason. take a look at the guys even on here who are advocating cold approach. none of them are mentally healthy

No-Rough-7390 · 2025-04-13T20:10:51+00:00

I had a lot of success with cold approach (I’d say over 50% close rate), even if I just thought of it as just talking with women, and a lot of it does come down to not giving a fuck.

There were nights my buddies and I actually aimed to see who could get rejected in the worst fashion and still ended up leaving with a woman.

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2025-04-13T21:41:26+00:00

The problem isn’t getting to know women and having fun with them in a social atmosphere, that’s normal.

The problem is the style of approach done by asocial men who are unpredictable and weird about approaching in non social venues. They refuse to compete with men in social venues, and really hate the atmosphere of crowded social spaces.

If men like you could somehow write them a script for organic small talk without being dead set on the goal of a girlfriend, you could change their lives. If you could explain to them how to relax and drop the chase face, women would be more receptive.

Their expectations are absolutely unreasonable and their attitudes when rejected are horrible, and they are rejected almost every time because they are too pushy and too forward.

But before you waste anytime helping them throttle back the intensity, you should know almost all the men who are bad at talking to women, don’t like women. They almost unilaterally admit they do not want female friends and have nothing in common with women. They don’t respect women, they don’t want to hang out with women, they regard women as some other species.

Good luck helping men who only regard women as sex workers or domestic servants.

just_a_place · 2025-04-14T05:25:26+00:00

Cold approaching is NEVER the answer because all it means is that you have no idea who this girl is and you're only thinking with your dick and that is the sole motivation for which you feel so compelled to approach her in the first place. Women know this, which is why they find it creepy as all fuck.

You only ever cold approach women when it's the proper setting like a club or bar or anywhere where approaching strangers with sexual intentions is both normal and expected.

Coal approaching on the street, or in a park is just a very loud and obnoxious sign that you're socially inept. For women, it means she's probably a hooker.

Handsome_Goose · 2025-04-14T01:22:50+00:00

How are you even supposed to do p2? Unless you are interesting to me or there's something to be gained from interacting with you I don't give a shit about you. What you described is for truly exceptional people I know closely. I can't even fathom treating a stranger this way.

ConsistentPieGuy · 2025-04-14T04:46:23+00:00

I think people like you need to stop trying to persuade men into continously dating. We need to be telling men to stay single and find other joys in life instead of how to "WOW" a woman. They would never do the same for us, quit promoting this clownassery behavior. Men don't need to be with women, we can all survive just fine being alone.

It doesn't matter if they want women, tell them to go do something else because dating is fucking shit.

Prudent_Heat23 · 2025-04-13T21:15:14+00:00

I appreciate the attempt to steer men in the right direction instead of yet another complaining post.

However, socializing can't be done by brute force. You can't just push through social discomfort and expect a good outcome like you can with say studying or physical exercise. If you're uncomfortable, it's palpable and contagious; it makes the interaction shitty for both you and your counterpart. If you're forcing conversations when you're not feeling it, the conversations inevitably feel contrived and unpleasant. If you're not connecting with someone, you can't will your way to a connection.

There's a particular jovial mood you need to be in to socialize productively, and I think people who typically walk around feeling that way have trouble understanding that many people don't. Not saying the situation should just be accepted, but people who typically find themselves in an asocial mood need more tailored help than "just talk to a lot of people and be their friend!"

rejected-again · 2025-04-13T22:29:54+00:00

I have witnessed a cold approach maybe 2 or 3 times in my life. It was never successful.

Aimeereddit123 · 2025-04-13T23:39:03+00:00

Do it with humor, and don’t show the least bit of disappointment or disrespect if she rebuffs you. Black guys are the MASTERS of this approach. We always both end up laughing hysterically, even tho I’m married. I’ve made a few buddies this way.

Robot_Alchemist · 2025-04-18T12:03:56+00:00

Or you could organically meet a woman who is interested in you and actually be interested in her. It isn’t a game. You don’t land women. Just chill and stop thinking so much about it. Be normal. Talk to people when you can but be yourself and if someone like minded comes along then awesome

darthsyn · 2025-04-13T20:12:45+00:00

Clean-Luck6428 · 2025-04-13T20:20:58+00:00

Most women on PPD are only attractive enough to get approached by gross creepy dudes so they are going to have a bias against it lol

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Siukslinis_acc · 2025-04-13T20:18:12+00:00

Sorta yes, sorta no.

Cold approach, from my understanding, is just randomly approaching a woman and asking her out for a date without having any interaction with her prior. That would be a nope for me.

Yep is for casual interaction to build rapport and when a degree of familiarity is reached - then asking them out. But there is a caveat of casually approaching the person because you want to date them and not because you want to get to know them.

Most of all it takes time. While people tend to want a miracle where you do it and you get immediate result.

the_1st_inductionist · 2025-04-13T21:12:43+00:00

Disagree with one, two and three if you’re looking for a serious relationship. If you’re just looking for a casual fling, then whatever.

Get good at achieving happiness.
Focus on approaching women so it’s more likely they’ll be compatible. Basically, approach women while doing something you like or in contexts where men and women meet each other (like on a dating app).

Approach women with empathy....everywhere.

Yeah, if you’re looking for a serious relationship for happiness this isn’t a good idea for a few reasons. It’s hard mode.

The chances that a woman you see randomly is going to be compatible with you is low in comparison to focusing approaching women in better places.

It can be needy in the sense that it means that you have nothing better to do and no better way to meet women. This is particularly the case if your style isn’t suited for cold approaches. Not saying that you should never cold approach a woman in random places, but whether you should do it probably depends on how good of a reason you have that her personality is your type combined with how suited your style is to cold approaching.

There’s a danger that you’re going to learn skills and change your style so you will be better at cold approaching random women rather than approaching so that you’re more likely to find a compatible woman.

DelDivision · 2025-04-14T14:32:18+00:00

Its a no go for me. I dont have a problem with looksmaxxing but I'm not a person who approaches. And it doesn't just apply to women. Every friend I've made approached me first and most jobs I get are thru online apps same with dating apps.

Not every man is built to do that and should work to make their personalities work for them.

Nephilim8 · 2025-04-17T04:01:25+00:00

I've approached easily hundreds of women. The success rate is awful. Some women aren't interested (like giving minimal answers and acting like they could not have less interest in you) or have a boyfriend or whatever. Other women give you their number or instagram and then never reply when you message them. Some will send one or two message replies and then ghost. (The women you like most tend to do one of those previous things.) And then sometimes I'll get a woman out on a date, and she's not interested in a second date, so it was all a waste of time. The women who are interested in a second date tend to be the women that I'm least interested in. And then there's the women I've gone out on a date with multiple times, and they pull some shit like giving their number to other men at the bar. (Cool, that was so disrespectful that I'm not seeing you again.) It's a hell of a slog and I hate it. It's the worst when you get your hopes up that it will work out with a woman and then she ditches you. At least where I live, there are more men than women, so women treat men as disposable and easily replaceable.

I feel like I'm throwing money at scratch-off tickets, only occasionally winning a very modest prize, and I just keep getting poorer.

hakunaa-matataa · 2025-04-14T02:26:45+00:00

I do think a lot of it depends on how old you are. If you’re getting blocked/ghosted a lot, I’m going to imagine that a lot of the women you’re matching with are just not emotionally mature enough to handle confrontation (not confrontation in that you’re doing something wrong, confrontation in that “I’m sorry, I’m not interested”) yet. Which sucks. That isn’t your fault.

I’m saying this entirely in good faith: but if you truly believe that it would be better to be dead or in an abusive relationship than be single, you A: should seek therapy. Your entire self worth and life’s purpose should not be getting a partner. It is a perfectly fine thing to desire and chase, but not at the expense of your wellbeing, and B: this may inadvertently be what’s chasing women away, this deep desire to be in a relationship. I know that’s frustrating because I can tell you have good intentions, but I think human beings in general can sense desperation. I’m just warning you, if you continue to believe it would be better to be in an abusive relationship than single, you’re going to attract the wrong kind of woman. You’ll attract a woman who will abuse you. You don’t deserve that.

Sure. I get what you mean. I’m sure if I was a man and in my same position right now (I’m a woman who’s using cold approach and OLD to get dates) I’d be frustrated as all hell. I don’t blame you for being angry, I’d be angry too. I think your intentions are right, and I do think you’ll be able to find a partner. But the only advice I can really reliably give is to be patient. Yeah, it sucks, because it’s out of our control.

My only other tangible piece of (unwarranted sorry lol) advice is to join a running group or something. It may help you form friendships and strengthen your social skills to where you feel more confident.

GhostXmasPast342 · 2025-04-13T20:49:33+00:00

The problem isn’t talking to women. You can talk to women all day. If most women do not see you as a romantic partner, it’s not going to happen. That’s the difficult part, the transition from a glancing interest to a romantic partner. You just end up being a simp.

Knight-Bishop · 2025-04-13T21:30:54+00:00

I have cold approached thousands of women & have a triple digit lay count.

I could really care less if dudes get laid.

BUT— I have a very big issue with clowns 🤡 that come to the Manosphere to talk shit to subject matter experts like myself & blame me for their dating woes.

This includes ⬆️ men in this forum.

So much ego. No humility. Such lack of experience with women. Such big mouths. Never donated one dollar to content creators. Never bought one book 📕. Never have recommended one book 📚 to your son having issues with women.

Humble thyselves & learn from the people like me that went to war with feminists (including in this forum in past banned sub-Reddits) to make the space to what it is today (I have been in the Manosphere for a decade).

We figured out female nature in 25 years.

Listen to content creators & develop your own style of dealing with women. The info is free.

Anyone that has came after Kevin Samuels went viral in December 2020 have basically close to never done shit to contribute to the intellectual body of knowledge of the RP.

Life-Income2986 · 2025-04-13T23:21:36+00:00

The best thing about being a huge, scary looking guy is that it forces me to account for the fact that to a stranger I look huge and scary. If I went up to anyone - male or female - and interrupted them to start weirdly talking about whatever they would feel confused and unsafe. It's antisocial behaviour.

Anyway cold approaching might be literally the worst thing someone can do. Not only is it rude and for a woman often scary, but it is training the moron to ignore people's reaction to your antisocial behaviour. You are literally learning how to ignore social signals that your bullshit is unappreciated. Enjoy the 'fruits' of your 'labour', but if anyone out there is wondering if you can succeed romantically by behaving like a human, yes. You can.

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