Men shouldn't take dating advice from women (on the internet)

AngelEyes_9 · 2026-01-08T09:34:08+00:00

Any men above 25 who takes advice from women in regard to dating is really lost. I mean, you can fall for that if you're fresh outta high school but at certain age you either understand what this world is about or you're retarded, sorry.

mrcs84usn · 2026-01-08T00:38:01+00:00

As the saying goes, “don’t ask a fish how to catch a fish. Ask the fisherman.”

Siukslinis_acc · 2026-01-08T09:18:00+00:00

You should take all advice (especially online) with a grain of salt. People's advice tend to be "this thing worked for me or someone i know who was in a similar situation, so it might work for you".

Online advice askers tend to not provide info that could help identify things. Online there are people from all over the world and courting ritual that works in mongolia might not work in usa. Stuff that works to attract a rapper might not work to attract a metalhead.

So look at the advice, look at your situation and fiddle with the advice. Some things will work, some not, some might need to be modified, some are bs but have inspired you to try a different thing.

One of the problems is that people suck at articulating their problems and thus the advice they get might not work. There is also things that the asker tuemselves aren't even aware of. The advice giver gives advice based on the info provided and fill the holes with their perceptions and experiences. Thus the advice won't be tailor made for your situation.

One example of bad articulation is when people ask how to get sex and a suggestion is just to go to a sex worker. Then after an exchange after them calling your advice as bs, you realise that when they said they want to have sex, they actually meant that they want to feel desired and needed. Which is a whole different thing than just having sex.

Free-Comfort6303 · 2026-01-08T04:15:19+00:00

Advice of women works only when the woman actually is attracted to you but at that moment you can just toss a coin and randomly do what you want, nothing much will change :D

Amiaocellicauda · 2026-01-08T00:54:56+00:00

Dating as a man

Step 1: be attractive

Step 2: profit

Zabadoodude · 2026-01-08T02:38:39+00:00

The best advice is from dudes that aren't any taller, richer, or naturally better looking than you, but have the dating life you wish you had.

Chads are playing on easy mode, so they don't know. Women give advise on how they wish Chad would treat them.

But the absolute worst advice is from decent looking guys that always have bad experiences with women. A lot of red pill influencers fall into this category. Bro! You're tall, fit, rich, and you just got cheated on by a 40 year old single mom or scammed by a sugar baby? Why the fuck would I listen to your dating advice?

Feeling_Ad_1034 · 2026-01-08T00:48:12+00:00

Women's advice is FUCKING CLUTCH in some circumstances, but also useless and misleading in others. Here's what I've found:

General advice about how to make yourself more sexually desirable will almost always get you piss-poor advice from women, but it's because women think differently. Best example: The classic "what do you want in a man?" will get you "This is how I wish men I was attracted to would treat me". Useless. That's not what you (the guy) were asking.. but also you've got to ask better.

Here's what I mean...

The more specific, contextual, circumstantial, etc.. the situation is, having a good female friend can be CLUTCH in helping you understand situations:

You go out with a female friend and you approach a few women at a bar. The female friend either wings or watches. SHE WILL BREAK THAT SHIT DOWN FOR YOU very well and tell you things like
- "She lost interest when you said x because y"
- "She was really into you and would have given you her number if you had tried saying x"
- "She had no interest from the start and was eyeing the dude in the red shirt over there the whole time."
- DUDES ARE TYPICALLY POOR at decoding this type of stuff...
You are trying to either "work things out" or "move things along" with a girl who is more or less hot/cold. Depending on ethics and your level of comfort with a female friend, screenshotting the confusing conversation and sharing it with a solid female friend can GET YOU THE FUCKING TRANSLATION CRYSTAL CLEAR. (ask me how I know). Again, men often have trouble with this kind of stuff, not being able to see overarching principals or pictures, or failing to spot key turning points in phrasing or words you used that you shouldn't have. It's a fucking cheat code.

At the end of the day, in most cases, men's advice, although usually poor, fares marginally better, mainly because dudes don't know how to ask the right questions. Men will give actionable advice, women rarely do. 80% of the time, "hit the fucking gym, bro" is honestly the best advice.

2026-01-08T00:43:36+00:00

Again, the issue is that too many ask general advice about women which is bound to fail as you will get conflicting advice and individual women sharing what works with them and their bubble. Men should ask advice to people around them. Ideally, about a specific women/situations. For example, it happend often that in a group setting a friend might notice quicker when someone has a crush on you than you do.

FrigginTrying · 2026-01-08T04:00:47+00:00

Never listen to fish on how to catch fish 🧏🏾

PSXSnack09 · 2026-01-08T00:39:27+00:00

i argue you should ignore reddit dating advice from redditors since most red pillers, non bluepillers etc want to date conventionally, and reddit is generally full of unconventional people where sure u can still pull something no matter how much of a dork u are as long as u re nice, but this only works in those alternative circles, in the rest of the conventional world being nice wont make u automatically attractive to anyone hence why u see more men complaining about their struggles online (most of what the redpills says does applies for the conventional dating world)

honestly reddit is one of the apps with the most insufferable pretentious morons of all the intenet who get some sort of pleasure of "bullying" dissenting views with the most anti-intellectual methods possible, be it with massive donwvotes, contradicting themselves and using all sorts of dishonest arguing methods, honestly most subreddits will just castrate u as a man if u try to adapt to their methods, now they even say being monogamous makes u "redpill" like wth, also reddit is mostly leftwing, coincidence or pattern?

the_scar_when_you_go · 2026-01-08T01:12:27+00:00

The only men who should be concerned with what women want, need, and are attracted to, are men who want relationships with women.

ConstipatedAvocado · 2026-01-08T10:04:34+00:00

Its not even about listening to people on the internet, as bad as that is, its about listening to women on Reddit. Most women on Reddit are fucking losers. Seriously. I think people really underestimate just how low women who post here are on the social totem pole. Its amusing that men on reddit somehow get the fedora wearing stereotype but people think somehow all the women posting here are well adjusted normies. Doesnt add up. My experience with women in real life and those on here is like night and day.

If you actually know a non-significant amount of women IRL then you'll understand that most women are neither neurodivergent, asexual, LGBTQ nor are they particularly left or right leaning (or politically minded at all). The fact that so few here actually critically engage with the "twoxchromosome" fuelled ideas many here have should be proof enough that women here probably dont have enough healthy relationships with the same sex in real life. I have male friends in real life, therefore I dont feel the need to justify every cockamamie, incel fueled opinion that some male dork on here gives.

And the issue is only getting worse. I think a few years ago, when I first lurked this sub, the gender war fueled shitposts were largely from redpill/incel/blackpilled men. Recently I've seen a huge proliferation of women identifying with shit like "pink pill" or even a few who apparently self identify as "blackpilled", there are two or three who consistently post ragebait junk which just seems kinda new to me. One thing that really hasn't been spoken all that much about is the massive rise in femcel women online. These are definitely not people one should be seeking any kind of romantic insight from.

DriverInitial8305 · 2026-01-08T04:44:43+00:00

I agree with this for the most part. Most women don’t have to invest much of any time learning about men. Whereas men spend tons of hours learning how to pursue women

BigZaddyZ3 · 2026-01-08T00:30:30+00:00

This is true but it applies to both genders ironically. So all this talk of women “not choosing right” or “not dating/chasing the men they’re supposed to” and similar shit has to be thrown out too.

If women can’t “advise” due to not understanding dating from the male perspective then the same holds true for men trying to tell women how to date despite not having any experience with the female perspective.

As long as you acknowledge that then I agree with you. (Tho we both know that this post won’t actually stop anyone from giving or seeking advice from the opposite gender anyways so… None of this really matters for real lol)

AutoModerator · 2026-01-08T00:21:23+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

AutoModerator · 2026-01-08T00:21:23+00:00

Hi OP,

You've chosen to identify your thread as a Debate. As such you are expected to actively engage in your own thread with a mind open to being changed. PPD has guidelines for what that involves.

OPs author must genuinely hold the position and you must be open to having your view challenged.

An unwillingness to debate in good faith may be inferred from one or several of the following:

Ignoring the main point of a comment, especially to point out some minor inconsistency;

Refusing to make concessions that an alternate view has merit;

Focusing only on the weaker arguments;

Only having discussions with users who agree with your position.

Failure to keep to this higher standard (we only apply to Debate OPs) may result in deletion of the whole thread.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

thingsenjoyer99 · 2026-01-08T04:01:56+00:00

men shouldn't take dating advice period because as cliche as it sounds dating is mostly self-discovery, learning how to have fun regardless of the outcome and all that, the moment you let others "intrude" into that self-discovery you risk carrying their biases with you and thus never learning how to behave in a way that is natural and enjoyable to you.

Still as terrible as women dating advice for men can be they're a lot easier to escape from, can't say the same for the millions of young dudes getting blackpilled by "dating gurus" and such

althere000 · 2026-01-08T11:43:05+00:00

A lot of women online don't really want give honest advice actually over trying to make themselves sound like angels. Like how they would say all you have to be is nice to get women despite the fact that lots bad men and even obviously bad men get dates. While women I have known in real life say confidence and looks are far more attractive traits without suger coating it or not suger coating it much.

Vaudeville_Clown · 2026-01-08T11:46:06+00:00

If you ask clueless or too general questions, that tends to happen.

Men's advice is more scattershot. Yes he has the advantage of being in similar shoes. And also has the arrogance to dig into the details, casually assuming that your situation is almost exactly like his. When those things happen to line up, you might get a gem, but that's more down to chance.

You may have more luck asking women for very specific advice though. Like "How can I be a social success in <very particular setting>".

JackOfCrusades · 2026-01-08T12:40:12+00:00

I mostly agree, but I think there's some nuance.

When you ask a woman for dating advice, she thinks about some guy she's attracted to, and how she would want him to act with her. So you get advice that's decent for establishing and maintaining a relationship, provided attraction already exists.

But most of the time guys aren't asking for that. Guys biggest hurdle is sparking that attraction initially, and women suck at giving advice on that. First because most of them have never had to worry about it (dudes are thirsty, yo). And second because, from a women's perspective, the attraction is a snap judgement; it's either there or it's not, pretty much immediately.

There are absolutely behaviors that will make you more attractive. But they're behaviors that change how you show up in those first 15-90 seconds. Once you've been judged unattractive, there's basically nothing you're going to do that will turn that around, and all dating advice is useless.

existentialhack00 · 2026-01-08T17:10:18+00:00

> Tldr: don't listen to people on the internet

This is awkward..

Asleep-Pin-5664 · 2026-01-08T19:45:20+00:00

I’d take yo a step further and say men shouldn’t take dating advice from women at all. Nothing a woman has ever said has helped me

AllelWasHere · 2026-01-08T20:52:42+00:00

An exception would be a failed date or ex, (and you trust her enough to be honest) and asking her what was a turn off.

I had a guy do that after I let him know I wasn't up for a second date and I respected the hell outta that.

sablesalsa · 2026-01-08T22:30:29+00:00

I think if you can decide what advice not to take from men and why, you should be able to decide what advice you can take from women. The only thing that matters if the advice is helpful, and you will lose out on good advice by excluding people based on gender.

Hefty-Lobster-5513 · 2026-01-08T22:53:47+00:00

You are correct. I think most women aren’t really equipped to give good dating advice to men since dating is a lot different for women. I believe women give great relationship advice though.

pie-mart · 2026-01-09T01:02:22+00:00

This is an over generalization of a huge concept. Yes men know how to date women better than women.

But if my boyfriend was trying to figure out what I liked from the internet id be very pissed off. This happened with my ex. He got redpilled and looked on the internet on how to make me attracted to him again

The problem? I was paying half of all bills but he expected me to do 100% of the domestic labor amd still expected me to have the emotional and physical bandwidth to have sex with him.

So, he began to try and make me jealous and start arguments and do a bunch of random bs crap he learned from random men

No, I cannot advise him or men on dry spells or problems in their various relationships

But men need to realize we are individuals and the problems I am having with you. And why I may not like you are the complete opposite reasons for why my friend may not like you

You may have a slightly cocky attitude my friend thinks is not a deal breaker but the reason she doesn't like you is cuz you treat wait staff badly

I may not care about how you treat waitstaff but I see that you don't ask questions and expect me to carry all conversations and this is why I don't like you

But you go and ask men why me and my friend don't like you and they will say "you are being too needy." Or "don't be a simp" or "she thinks you are too weak and you need to show her you are more stoic"

And every reason a guy will give you is just... not true. We all don't like various guys for all sorts of various reason.

Advise shouldn't be about a cure all magic potion. Cuz men can't give you advise that won't fail and nor can women

The only thing you can do is navigate your frustrations with men who share the same experiences but actually listen and talk to us women about who we are as individuals

The reason Sally likes you is why Jen hates you. The reason Jen likes you is the reason Molly thinks you are not a good partner.

You think in the terms of "women all like/don't like this" and that is the advise men mainly give

And when an individual woman goes "I and the women i know, don't like the thing you are doing"

You guys end up accusing women of not knowing what we want. Because you did the thing Jen liked. But I didn't like it

So then you go to Sally and don't do the thing, and she tells you because you didn't do it, she is rejecting you

So, now you go to Patricia and do that thing but she doesn't like it, so she rejects you

And you go "women don't know what they want"

Which is why ALL ADVISE ABOUT WHAT WOMEN WANT is ALL bullshit. From men and women

The only advise worthy of any salt is from the individual you desire in that moment and on how to deal with the unique gendered hardships of dating with people of that same gender.

Imagine of I went to women after not having a series of good dates and I was like "what advice would you give"

And they all said "men hate when you sre TOO nice or too needy. Especially if you show interest in them too quickly."

And then I took their advice and it worked with 30% of the men and I took this as proof of success

Rather than understanding the core tenants of dating and doing for each individual what THEY as an individual wants and needs from me

ThatBitchA · 2026-01-08T00:26:44+00:00

Awesome. That means that women shouldn't take dating advice from men on the internet.

If y'all don't want advice from women on dating, why would women take advice from men?

As some men say, a fisherman (woman) doesn't ask the fish (man).

I'm so glad we've cleared this up. The sub can be archived now.

CHINO-HILL · 2026-01-08T07:09:21+00:00

u shouldnt take dating advice from men on the internet either

ChewedMyWayOutOfThat · 2026-01-08T01:35:32+00:00

The debate encapsulates men's selfishness in a nutshell.

She will likely feel burdened or annoyed at having to deal with unwanted romantic attention and these emotions will often bleed into the advice they give to men, telling them that cold approaching at all is wrong or always inappropriate

She was harassed and bothered on a nice night out with her friends and she can imagine other women in her position being harassed and bothered and wants to prevent that from happening by dissuading men from harassing strange women. Yeah, fuck her, right?

It's called empathy. You might want to try it sometime.

Women have told you that we don't want to be fucking approached. What do men do? Ignore it and hit on every woman in a 5 block radius and pissing them off.

A lot of men end up in the trap of missing out on potential opportunities because of this advice, and it's usually better to err on the side of action.

That's the stupid fucking self-centered attitude that makes women hate men even more.

Even if you might cause someone to be annoyed or hurt

Only if you are a fucking sociopath.

You only care about your own needs and are inconsiderate about the needs of others. It doesn't fucking matter if you will never see them again. Being cognizant of the comfort of strangers shows character. You have none. That's why nobody fucking likes you.

They shouldn't make a friendship awkward over personal feelings

Stop using your social circles as Tinder and stop hitting on every girl at the Christmas party. If you're hitting on every girl, that shows how desperate you are because any pussy will do. Women don't want male attention because it's low fucking value and low quality and men cheapen it with every passing women they hit on.

It's not a numbers game. If a woman sees you at the club hitting on every woman available, while getting rejected, she is also going to reject you right away, even before you open your mouth. It's the reverse of the "wedding ring" heuristic. If those women rejected you, she is also going to reject you too.

Having a woman look over a pictures on a dating app is a great example

Stop delegating more work to women. Do you think women come out of the fucking womb knowing what makes a good profile? No. They take the time and effort to look at other profiles and see what looks good. What they don't do is to delegate this work to a man (like what men do to women). If you're too fucking lazy to do the work to create an effective profile, you're also going to be lazy as shit in the relationship.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2026-01-08T03:16:24+00:00

Men are only going to listen to advice from other men anyway, even if they’re saying the same thing.

Axis_Control · 2026-01-08T04:22:52+00:00

This is exactly why I don't have male friends. I don't want them to weirdly get a crush on me or try to fuck me. No thanks.

mashedturnip · 2026-01-08T00:56:04+00:00

Men are the ones who get hung up on negative interactions

So: your title is needlessly sexist?

Title	Men shouldn't take dating advice from women (on the internet)
Author	TheAccountant369
Upvotes	61
Comments	104
Date	January 8, 2026 12:21 AM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1q6wnnk/men_shouldnt_take_dating_advice_from_women_on_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-shouldnt-take-dating-advice-from-women-on-the.1570665 https://theredarchive.com/post/1570665

Comments