How the fuck are meant to meet women if you don't like socialising?

Key-Proud · 2026-04-05T15:51:49+00:00

You go socialize ....

Use the thing you hate and avoid as a compass of what is important to your life. The stronger the emotions are the more important it is for you to face.

If you are not getting what you want then the emotions you feel is there to keep the status quo (for saving energy purposes ... and you masterbating tricks your genetics that you are replicating) ... therefore do the opposite behavior what your emotions are telling you to do.

Rediittsucksdick · 2026-04-05T17:55:49+00:00

I don’t think it’s possible. I think somebody said something about Game:

For introverts, it takes them 1000 approaches to reach the level of what an extrovert can do with only 100 approaches.

If you don’t like to socialize, you are most likely going to be single. It’s like jobs. You ain’t gonna get them unless you submit resumes, and hunt jobs, and apply for positions. You gotta reach out. Something like that I think.

OpinionThink481 · 2026-04-05T15:54:45+00:00

Having a girlfriend involves socializing at the very least with the very girlfriend you have, if you had a girlfriend but refused to socialize with her, she would dump you because there is no point in being together if you can't even socialize with her. Now if you just want to have sex, hire hookers. No need for socialization, you just pay and fuck, that's it. Welcome to life, where mature people do things even if they don't like to do them.

tonyferguson2021 · 2026-04-05T17:13:59+00:00

Develop your curiosity and pursue broader interests, plenty of women are more on the introvert / homebody spectrum… ever been to an art gallery or a museum / library / comic shop etc? Some of the women in there are probably wondering why no men are willing to engage with them and what does she have to do to get a guys attention…

’Socialising’ is kind of an ugly term IMO makes me think of small talk / how are you etc, perhaps replace it with ‘engaging with the world‘

There are powerful and dark forces in the world that profit from our disconnection. They also survive by harvesting our attention and energy. Some of us are just not strong enough to break the slave mind / hive mind conditioned behaviour. Some of us have just enough strength some of the time…

Depressed little porn addicts are probably more useful to big capitalism than a group of awakened and energised young men that actually give a fuck about the world outside their bedrooms

ThaiPoncho · 2026-04-05T15:57:59+00:00

Yes meeting people is essential to meeting people? Eating food is essential to satisfying hunger. What exactly are you wanting to hear? Get the fuck off the video games. Or don’t? No one really cares. A trillion people will live happily before one of those trillion care or not about your happiness and what it is you want. There’s an ocean of hungry minds out there. You gotta feed if you don’t want to starve… Carry the flame to the fire, don’t wait for the fire to carry the flame to you.

shaehl · 2026-04-05T17:21:52+00:00

Considering meeting women is literally an act of socializing... I'd say it's not looking good.

wilhelmtherealm · 2026-04-05T15:56:27+00:00

How are you supposed to fulfill your hunger if you don't like eating food? 🙄

somethinkstings · 2026-04-05T17:03:58+00:00

Go out and find another wall flower that also hates socializing. It may take some time as y'all hate going out. Confide in them how you hate socializing, and when they respond "Yes, me too!", you'll know you've found someone that you can go away and anti socially bond with. If they respond by looking at you like a creep, then move on. She's not on the same page as you.

Good luck.

TheGame81677 · 2026-04-05T22:12:42+00:00

I’m in the same situation. When I was younger, I used to like going out and going to bars and parties and stuff. Now I just don’t wanna deal with all the chaos and BS that comes along with it. How do people like us find a girlfriend? What are introverted people supposed to do, just be alone for the rest of their lives

CoachSlyDating · 2026-04-05T20:37:59+00:00

You don’t like socializing because you are not good at it.

You are not good at it because you don’t practice.

You don’t practice because you are afraid of rejection, awkwardness, anxiety, etc.

You are lying to yourself.

If you were good at socializing you’d enjoy it. The introverted extroverted crap is a lie meant to keep you suppressed. It’s nothing more than a convenient excuse.

Learn social skills in a low stakes environment and slowly work your way up to full on approaches.

crtmammal · 2026-04-05T23:07:40+00:00

Socializing is a skill, you have to work at it. Although it does come natural to others. I can’t think of a better way to achieve success than being a charismatic communicator. But it just takes work, study books and videos on the subject. Anyone can do it if you try.

spottyottydopalicius · 2026-04-05T17:18:59+00:00

theres no hack. you just do it

Severe-Doughnut4065 · 2026-04-05T16:35:07+00:00

Do you legitimately not get bored of videos after playing them straight for days? Socializing gets boring after awhile but is fun just like video games for a bit

PostAvailable9966 · 2026-04-05T16:20:45+00:00

Well, by definition, your success with girls is a portion of those you meet. Hence, if you dont meet any, there is your problem. There is no way around it

National_Echidna1834 · 2026-04-05T17:44:11+00:00

Should you give up? Depends how badly you want it. If you don’t want it bad enough then you’ll never be able to justify the time and energy required to not only socialize, but to approach, get their info, setup dates, plan dates, follow through, successfully conclude the date, not act or talk in ways that repel the girl, possibly get into a relationship, successfully manage the relationship so it has the highest chances of lasting, etc. You really have to want it. Personally I’d invest that time and energy into developing your career and becoming financially stable if you’re not already. Build a life for yourself that you are happy with and that will ground you to where it won’t matter who comes or goes in your life. I did that for myself and it satisfies me more than any girl could. And while you’re doing that you can still socialize once a week or something. Talk to both girls and guys but just be detached from outcome and have fun. You have more in common with people than you think, even the ones that go out to bars and clubs.

Shadow__Account · 2026-04-05T16:19:50+00:00

Dating apps. Optimize your profile and work on your dates to optimize those too. You are leaving a lot of gains on the table, probably the best, but it is very doable. You do need to get good at what you do though, competition is tough online. So polarize the fuck out of everything.

No-Note- · 2026-04-05T16:12:14+00:00

You do realize playing video games with friends is socializing right?

Sandvicheater · 2026-04-05T21:20:50+00:00

Maybe socialize in a setting that suits your interests and needs like anime or gaming conventions?

soultran1 · 2026-04-05T22:52:19+00:00

dating apps and lower your standards, improve your looks

Time_Blacksmith861 · 2026-04-06T00:50:12+00:00

Search for gamer girl whatever way possible while gaming simple

Busy-Crankin-Off · 2026-04-06T01:01:38+00:00

Guys, how the fuck are you meant to make money if you don't like working?

Cavsfan724 · 2026-04-06T01:10:11+00:00

I don't know either

marks1995 · 2026-04-06T01:11:42+00:00

Serious question and not meant to be a flame....

Read your post and tell us what in there adds value to the life of any woman? Do you think women sit around fantasizing about sitting in your apartment watching you play video games?

Most people date to add something to their life. You're not offering them anything.

Soil_These · 2026-04-06T03:58:46+00:00

Where do your friends go to socialise that they go through women like changing socks? asking for a friend

SnooKiwis2460 · 2026-04-06T04:45:47+00:00

You’ll have to just start socializing with…anyone

Into_The_Horizon · 2026-04-06T14:24:12+00:00

Nope because there's a woman that doesn't like socializing much either but is looking for a man lol

meanderingwolf · 2026-04-06T15:05:14+00:00

If you aren’t willing to change, then you can’t expect your miserable life to change. Enroll in a course and learn to socialize. You can’t live in a closet for the rest of your life.

spottyottydopalicius · 2026-04-06T18:20:43+00:00

closed mouths dont get fed and if you never ask the answer is always no

autodidacticasaurus · 2026-04-05T16:53:38+00:00

Should I give up?

No, you should go socialize. The answer to your question is that you're not meant to meet women if you don't socialize. You need to do what it takes. Learn to like it.

What do you dislike about it? I hated it. I got better at it. Now I don't. Maybe I can help.

norwegiandoggo · 2026-04-05T17:01:15+00:00

Sometimes we don't like doing something because we are perhaps

nervous
afraid of failing
have had some bad experiences in the past
feel ashamed
just don't know what you're doing

And it's safer to to just avoid the whole thing, so you don't have to face all that emotional turmoil and failure.

That's staying inside your comfort zone. It's perfectly find to choose that, but it's a path to stagnation in life. You never grow as a person, you never get better if you just stay inside your comfort zone.

Growth happens outside your comfort zone. It requires that you push yourself to do things that aren't fun, aren't comfortable, face failure, have some bad experiences, deal with shame, and learn the skills.

Then you grow as a person - you get better. And once you begin to see that improvement - that's when most people begin to enjoy being social.

Does it make sense? The first few time you try being social it sucks. But as you do it more and get better at it, it's not so bad. And eventually you're neutral about it. And then you get even better at it, and now you get socially confident. And then you feel this sense of accomplishment and then you begin to feel proud, happy - and enjoy the activity of being social.

If you struggle to be social, perhaps due to autism or other social challenges. It's usually best to try to be social with other people that are similar to you. Those who also struggle a bit with being social. Then you can grow together at a similar pace.

likeshismetal · 2026-04-05T18:24:58+00:00

I kinda have the same problem. I've been doing a lot of reflecting lately though. There really are opportunities everywhere. Something I lost sight of an am trying to reintegrate into my life is talking to EVERYONE so it becomes second nature again. I've been in a bit of a slump since covid honestly.

Making small talk with people at the kiosk when youre shopping, making an observation on the street when someone is nearby, etc. I'm big into cycling and am planning to volunteer at some events this summer. A friend suggested I get back jnfo bouldering again at the climbing gym. My goal right now is to network and not put too much pressure on myself for meeting someone.

I should mention I'm a big gamer as well. I enjoy solo/rpg games more than anything.

Ok-Bug8833 · 2026-04-05T18:53:06+00:00

I used to feel exactly the same way.

One of the things that changed for me was that through making myself go to work socials, I realise that there actually were aspects of going out, often on my own, and just sitting in a bar that I enjoyed.

And sometimes (not very often) a girl might look at me or talk to me and I realised you don't have to be a certain type of person to just enjoy it now and again.

r_gui · 2026-04-05T19:06:38+00:00

So, you'd like to fly, but want to do it while in your own designed stationary cage?

You probably hate socializing cause you suck at it. Videogames are fantasies. Why not go out and talk about video games? I dont want to be harsh, but you cant expect to get what you want without giving something. Go to the gym, get some confidence, learn a few things, meet people, and talk about them in a playful way. Dating apps suck, but getting girls in the real worl isnt hard cause many guys are exactly what you described. It's easy to stand out if you're one of the few that's actually standing.

Paigeous96 · 2026-04-05T20:27:03+00:00

Without sounding like a Dick you certainly won’t ever meet them by gaming and not leaving your house for weeks on end. If you feel you want to meet and connect with a woman you have to be able to be social. Work on your social skills, find a hobby that’s out in the real world, hiking, climbing, gaming events.

Find a bar near you that has board game nights, or quiz nights or something that you are remotely interested in.

You won’t find connection being hold up in your home.

Back2theCouture · 2026-04-05T16:24:47+00:00

Your first and 2nd paragraph contradict each other.

Life_suckers · 2026-04-05T17:02:32+00:00

Not a social guy. A lot of work to even hang out with friends after a work week. But that's life. Its about tolerating each other while finding common interests. Ppl who don't like socializing but meet women just suck it up. Its work at the end of the day but it can be fun if you meet someone whose like you

richsreddit · 2026-04-05T17:14:44+00:00

Yeah unfortunately you still gotta get our and socialize. Hopefully on one of those days you and your buddy/buddies will run into a group where there's at least 1 or 2 cute girls who are more withdrawn and introverted like yourself. Unfortunately for men we just gotta go out there even when we hate it. I know I did because I grew up playing video games and watching anime. At some point I had to find the guts to put myself out there and fuck up like the dummy I was. It'll be tough but man if you don't go somewhere you'll ultimately regret never even trying to begin with.

chamcham123 · 2026-04-05T18:39:09+00:00

Socialize with other people that don’t like to socialize. It is similar to those old “Anti-social social club” T- shirts.

Khower · 2026-04-05T19:01:28+00:00

You socialize anyways

themanbat · 2026-04-05T19:20:45+00:00

If you want to give up, thats up to you. You're basically asking, "How am I going to get girls if I don't want to put in the work required to get girls?" Well short of blatant prostitution? You're not. Accept that or do the work.

V3X390 · 2026-04-05T19:23:03+00:00

You should work more on addressing why you don’t like being around people and less on how to meet girls. Being cripplingly introverted is going to exclude you from the vast majority of the female population

Realwoujo · 2026-04-05T19:23:53+00:00

You need to figure out why you hate socializing. You are probably dealing with some trauma from your childhood and social anxiety. There is no way to emotionally connect with people, make friends, or have a relationship with a woman if you can't socialize with them.

polarpolarpolar · 2026-04-05T19:32:39+00:00

lol you have friends to play games with, you like socializing, you just hate the emotions and effort around meeting new people.

Anyways the answer is that YOU aren’t meant to meet women, and you and others like you removing yourself from the pool helps normalize the dating ratio for those that have the drive to overcome the negative voices in their head anytime something isn’t effortlessly rewarding.

Lally_Pop · 2026-04-05T19:36:01+00:00

You aren’t

macman7500 · 2026-04-05T21:20:27+00:00

You can wait until the a.i. girlfriend sex robots come, otherwise you better learn to socialize. I'm 29m and improving every day

ApartmentWorried5692 · 2026-04-05T21:35:17+00:00

Give up video games. They flood your brain with dopamine and make normal things like learning a new skill or talking to people seem pointless because that doesn’t give the same level of dopamine.

As an introvert myself, I’d say to drink a little. I get kinda chatty when I drink and I can talk to almost anyone. Sober? I’m very closed off and kinda not interested unless it’s niche topics I like (music, movies, even video games).

I’m 26 and I’m giving up video games. You really want to be that guy in his 30s who has zero social life and plays video games as a default activity? I say this as a guy who blew his hs and college years grinding video games and NOT getting good grades, money, friends, or girls.

Matter_Still · 2026-04-05T23:47:14+00:00

That’s a huge problem. It’s like saying I want to catch fish but hate water, or I like to eat but hate supermarkets and restaurants of any kind.

Your best shot is to find a woman who loves playing video games but you’ve really limited options.

KosmicKev__ · 2026-04-06T00:24:38+00:00

Well there’s always the escort route. Sorry, but socializing is where seduction is even allowed to begin. Without the charge of Eros through playful back and forth, it all becomes mechanical and soulless.

confused_8357 · 2026-04-06T06:17:03+00:00

you dont need to socialise but go on long walks through the city or roam aorund in bookshops or musuems or even libraries , huge grocery shops, ikea etc and start daygaming

just talk to her , have a 5-7 min convo where you create depth, familiarity, comfort , humor a statement of direct intent ( find u cute) and make plans to meet and give her ur contact.

if interested she will reply.

ExtraordinaryBeetles · 2026-04-06T06:29:21+00:00

You aren't.

Generic_Username26 · 2026-04-06T09:17:51+00:00

Here’s the thing about things you don’t like. You do them often enough, bank some positive experiences you realize it was never as bad as the mountain you have made it up to be in your mind.

You will embarrass yourself, it will be uncomfortable and it’s entirely possible you won’t meet new friends or find the woman of your dreams BUT it’s a 100% certainty that you won’t meet any real people in the comfort of your home.

Odd-Luck7658 · 2026-04-06T09:38:08+00:00

Meeting people means socializing. Ditch the video games. There is a big, beautiful world out there.

KoleSekor · 2026-04-06T11:10:04+00:00

What woman do you think would want to be with a guy like you?

Who will brag to her family and friends, "Oh he's the best, he doesn't like to socialize..." 😐

Exciting-Parfait-776 · 2026-04-05T16:47:56+00:00

You don’t

chi_guy8 · 2026-04-05T17:28:45+00:00

Prostitution. Or you have to be a 10, and even then you have to go into public and do minimal socialization. Those are your only 2 options.

mjshibz · 2026-04-05T16:29:06+00:00

Then you don’t. Quit watching porn my guy and you’ll see your view of socializing change

New_Banana3858 · 2026-04-05T16:32:05+00:00

everywhere?.
There's literally women on the streets...
pick her up. Maybe not ''literally''
but that's how simple it is.

DrQuincyStorch · 2026-04-05T17:44:56+00:00

As a man, you don't have other options. Unfortunately, that thing of being shy is only attractive in women. Girls could be dying to be with you, but they rather die than come to you and say hi.

MineDesperate2920 · 2026-04-05T16:31:01+00:00

You wont and you will die alone. Try to enjoy that instead

Title	How the fuck are meant to meet women if you don't like socialising?
Author	DescriptionFuture851
Upvotes	151
Comments	76
Date	April 5, 2026 3:45 PM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1sd6wyp/how_the_fuck_are_meant_to_meet_women_if_you_dont/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-the-fuck-are-meant-to-meet-women-if-you-dont.1577216 https://theredarchive.com/post/1577216

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