Q4Men: what does your minimum looks threshold for love and marriage look like?

RadChadswell · 2018-11-03T23:25:06+00:00

Looks get her in the door, but they don't get her the ring. What else does she have to offer?

toronto87 · 2018-11-04T00:07:01+00:00

Providorship is dead she needs to get a job

NalkaNalka · 2018-11-04T02:08:02+00:00

Of course looks only get you the interview, it takes a lot more than looks to get the job.

squidracer · 2018-11-03T23:59:16+00:00

God, that's a good question because I've been attracted to so many different types over the years. I mean, being obese is a deal breaker, but other then that it's anyone's game

blackedoutfast · 2018-11-04T00:21:56+00:00

sexual attraction is based almost entirely on looks, but for LTRs and what yout talking about, also going to consider attitude, personality, compatibility, etc.

a 6 who is very sweet and loyal and devoted and pleasant to be around is better LTR material than an 8 who is a crazy mean bitch who constantly cheats on you.

but there is a limit. a fat, old, busted up looking woman won't get LTR no matter how awesome she is.

post a pic of this hypothetical woman and we will say yes or no.

Barely-moral · 2018-11-04T00:16:15+00:00

A 4 or above using the scale linked in this comment

In any case, since looks will fade looks will only get her through the door. If she wants commitment then I will see what else she brings to the table.

Since you asked down below for a clear and specific list of 10 things that a woman would have to offer I will give it a try.

1- Compatibility in lifetime goals. (Children is the most important aspect. I don't want children, if she wants to have kids, I am out)

2- Sex. As much as she was willing to have with their previous partners. If there are no previous partners I expect that rejections to my advances are a rare thing. More than 10% rejection rate would be bad.

3 Little romantic gestures. Mostly in the way she speaks to me. I care a lot about words. If she speaks to me in a way that makes me glad to have her around me and she does it consistently then the list may as well end here.

4 She must make an effort to stay in shape.

5 She is having a relationship with me, not with a straw-man of me. She should not put words in my mouth, twist the meaning of my words, or assume anything of me that I didn't say.

6 She must have some level of emotional self control. If she can explode at any moment because anything offends her or makes her want to rope then I am not the one for her.

7 It would be nice if she shares my sense of humor, I can change that at will but I would like it if that is not necessary.

8 In the rare, once a year kinda rare, ocasion that I ask her for any kind of help. She must obey. I don't ask for help that often, if I ask for help, I ask for exactly what I need and I would expect my partner to get it.

9 A pleasant demeanor. I don't want to fight or argue all the time. I have enough of that at work. If she can't find anything nice to say it is better to just shut up.

10 Adult level communication. If she wants something, she can ask for it and I will provide. Covert contracts and expecting me to read her mind are major turn offs.

Was my answer useful?

Tyler_Gatsby · 2018-11-04T00:47:48+00:00

Since you didn't provide one, I'm going to agree with u/Barely-moral on probably a 4 on his scale. Assuming she has all my other criteria and no deal breakers.

stmodestus · 2018-11-04T06:26:57+00:00

I gotta be able to maintain an erection. At this point I am far more interested in non physical attributes- but if I can't pump a baby into you I'm wasting my time.

TheMarbleSlab · 2018-11-03T23:44:36+00:00

She has to look hotter than any girl who posts on trufemcels.

stakethroughtheheart · 2018-11-03T23:53:03+00:00

I can't imagine anyone actually worth doing any of that for.

The3liGator · 2018-11-04T05:02:40+00:00

Is not more than double a healthy BMI. Pulse is preferred, but optional.

Million-Suns · 2018-11-04T06:36:14+00:00

She must go to the gym and have a huge muscular butt for starters. I like latina women with a cute face too.

Work hard for, provide for

Not my role. She must have a job and being independent. And I won't ask her anything either. I can do my own chores.

Someone who you will actually love and care about

I can no longer do that. I'm no longer able to fall in love, thanks to all the interactions I had with women in my life, even the non-romantic ones.

And even if I was in love, marriage is a big no. Not until the court rulings undergo a significant shift. It is a shitty deal for men, regardless of whether the love is genuine or not. This subreddit is so obsessed with marriage, I have no idea why it clings onto that outdated relic from the past.

SilverGryphon · 2018-11-04T09:57:24+00:00

5/10 is the bare minimum. Shes does not have to be a 5/10 in other people's eyes, only in mine.

AlanHalworth · 2018-11-04T15:05:31+00:00

Most men weigh appearance too much unless they have known her for a while personally. After knowing someone for only 5 seconds, you _only_ judge her on her looks, and so of course you weigh that aspect too much. After knowing someone for a year or more, and she is consistently a good & interesting person, something in your mind goes "wow, I really _respect_ this person." That is how attraction was supposed to work in communities throughout history, in my opinion. I mean come on, you are going to have to have conversations with this person for the rest of your life. (Of course, when she is young, you can respect and love that person and the she turns you down, because she isn't ready for real commitment yet. That's always sad.)

LinkedFerret69 · 2018-11-04T01:06:31+00:00

Well I need a woman I find physically attractive. Not necessarily a supermodel but someone I dont find ugly. If we can keep the relationship going and she puts effort into the relationship, then marriage is an option given enough time.

I don't think that's too much to ask

magnimar1 · 2018-11-04T01:50:34+00:00

Look good and liking dogs get her in the door. Personality keep her in.

Mr_White119811 · 2018-11-04T05:25:07+00:00

Not be a supermodel but be in a healthy shape.

ChadEsquire · 2018-11-04T06:36:58+00:00

Honestly, it isn't really a precise threshold, for me at least. I could see myself marrying someone in the cute to utterly gorgeous range. Agree with other posters that looks are somewhat in the eye of the beholder. Obviously things like personality, intellectual curiosity, compatible interests, kind and warm personality, good conversationalist, emotional consistency matter a ton when you are considering spending thirty plus years with a person, instead of one night or a couple of weeks.

smokecheck1976 · 2018-11-04T07:32:22+00:00

Relationship?

Not fat. A little thickness in the right spots is okay and can definitely be attractive, but waist larger than hips and a sloppy appearance is something I can't deal with. It certainly would have made relationships easier to get into if I could be into bigger women, and I did try, but it isn't fair to her if I have to mentally make myself think I am with someone else just so I can perform with her. A genuine ability to smile and laugh. All else is negotiable.

Marriage?

No way. I have already been through that shit once, I won't do it again.

KrispyMcSockington · 2018-11-05T01:00:43+00:00

Looks wise? Curvy with dark hair, 'cappuccino' colour skin and a great smile.

Picture a feisty, slightly overweight latina who loves her family, is loyal and is eager to please in bed.

And she knows how to make a good sammich.

lucky_beast · 2018-11-04T01:59:42+00:00

That assumes all men will rate a girl the same which I don't think is the case.

Just today actually I was talking with some friends at an event and someone mentioned a girl we knew who I had thought was otherworldly gorgeous that I had asked out a long time ago. I was surprised that one of them said she was kind of cute and the other said she was decent in a dismissive tone. In the past I've heard other guys all talking about how beautiful such and such girl is and then seeing her and thinking she really isn't that good looking at all.

So asking for a minimum threshold doesn't really say much outside of that person's individual taste. Also if she's got other traits to balance out looks become much less important. If she cooks like an angel and fucks like a demon I can happily be with a girl who's a good bit below what most people would consider average.

TriadFamilyTimes · 2018-11-04T01:39:40+00:00

Assuming everything else lines up my standards are pretty high. I only date girls prettier than me lol

BasedGodot · 2018-11-04T03:25:54+00:00

Given how a divorce will screw me over, I've set it to near infinite as a defense mechanism.

Until I get myself a Gatebox or something like that to emulate a feminine presence and some sugar coating...

Aufbruch · 2018-11-04T10:05:43+00:00

Depends on what she's packing in the intelligence/compatibility/sense of humor department.

dylang92 · 2018-11-04T14:54:14+00:00

Looks are required at first, like women for men. Idk I guess for me to even consider a relationship she’d have to be my looksmatch or better.

bonusfruit · 2018-11-04T15:00:15+00:00

Not fat. Cute face. Or even a pleasant face. Or a whatever face but a nice smile. Can't think of anything else physically that's all that important. Years of redpill material has shifted my desire from hot woman to okay looking woman who doesn't hate men/ won't divorce rape/ won't falsely accuse/ won't play toxic mind games

decoy88 · 2018-11-04T15:19:03+00:00

She has to be able to get me hard.

CrestfallenWolf · 2018-11-04T16:32:46+00:00

My minimum for love and marriage is AT LEAST a

ChangeTheLaw/10

Just love, she could be a solid 5-6/10 but be awesome and it would work.

KV-n · 2018-11-04T16:53:57+00:00

About 4.5+ lookswise but must be slim.

But for marriage there would come many many different factors that would eliminate literally 99% of women. Just the very first criterion, age 19-23 eliminates like 90% of women ffs.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2018-11-04T18:30:05+00:00

6-7 minimum.

Most importantly, must be healthy. Not fat, no heavy addictions, no deep mental health problems.

I even avoid 9s and 10s with extreme prejudice.

Gravel_Roads · 2018-11-04T20:27:29+00:00

I dunno. I definitely have felt instant sexual attraction before, but I’ve also been casually socializing and realized one person in the crowd I’m hanging with has a deeper, more interesting view point that makes me feel extra stimulated or challenged, even if visually they were nothing memorable. I met my LTR over a writing website, so I didn’t even know if they were a man or woman when I first started admiring them. Imagine my luck that when I met him, he was also attractive.

If anything, LTR are easier to ignore minor physical flaws, since I’m gonna care a lot more about how cooperatively they can co-plan for road trips or hold a good conversation over a bottle of wine at 2am.

abaxeron · 2018-11-04T22:57:58+00:00

Three working limbs, one functioning eye and ear; healthy skin and hair; not obese.

You asked for a "minimum"; this is my minimum.

darla10 · 2018-11-05T00:21:35+00:00

Has to be tall, masculine, funny, educated, happy with his career and earn more than me. I don't care if it's $1 more, just more than me. Everything else is negotiable.

goatismycopilot · 2018-11-05T01:50:13+00:00

No beards or facial hair, likes dogs, goes to the gym or does some kind of physical thing, can fix things, can be a redneck but must speak in sentences, not religious, hmmmm some other stuff, doesn't give me stupid advice I won't listen to anyway.

SkookumTree · 2018-11-05T03:27:36+00:00

Minimum threshold:

1) In decent physical shape.

2) Able-bodied.

3) Not severely or heritably deformed.

And that's it, for the physical side of things.

Workaholico · 2018-11-05T22:02:07+00:00

minimum looks?

Non-mortally obese.

That is it.

couldbemage · 2018-11-06T06:25:22+00:00

Looks only matter if I don't care about her.

hammerhaunts · 2018-11-03T23:07:21+00:00

All women can be beautiful if they act a certain way

theambivalentrooster · 2018-11-04T13:34:34+00:00

Since there is no automod:

Oh look, another PPD user who takes everything said here personally lacks perspective and makes it all about herself and her righteous indignation.

yawn

If you get mad at reading stuff here go outside, spend some time with friends.

stats135 · 2018-11-04T00:21:28+00:00

For me to do all that for a woman long term, she has to be able to keep her looks for long term. So if she is an 20 years old, I don't mind if she's just a 5-6, because in all do likelihood she is going to stay a 5-6 for at least a decade or two. But if she is 30 years old? I'm going to have to consider a bit more. 40 years old? It ain't going to happen even if she is a 8-9, cause you know for a fact that there is no way in hell her looks are going to last that long.

[deleted] · 2018-11-06T16:29:29+00:00

There is none. I won't work hard for and provide for a woman because modern women are mercenaries.

As for romantic gestures, nope. That's nice-guy/beta male behaviour.

Title	Q4Men: what does your minimum looks threshold for love and marriage look like?
Author	TheMarbleSlab
Upvotes	26
Comments	224
Date	November 3, 2018 11:04 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/9tylts/q4men_what_does_your_minimum_looks_threshold_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4men-what-does-your-minimum-looks-threshold-for.259190 https://theredarchive.com/post/259190

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